Chapter 41
Chapter
Forty-One
Delmira
S tanding outside in the cold, damp morning, I watched the sun slowly break over the horizon. Today was the day, we’d have our revenge. I’d tried to hide from Kainda just how much I wanted this demon’s ass turned to grass. Even if we could only banish her back to Gehenna instead of killing her the way I wanted. Every breath hurt for how much I missed Theron. We’d been together for years, and I’d loved him even before he’d left Bronwen. I knew it was wrong, but I couldn’t help it, and I’d never have made a pass at him if they hadn’t split.
The door creaked open next to my shoulder and Hida stepped out, giving me an appraising look. She moved to stand on my other side. We stood there in silence as the dark faded to fuchsia to blue to cream to yellow and then a blazing orange as the clouds hung at the tops of the trees. Dew still clung to the grass at our feet, and I could feel it soaking into my tennis shoes. The comfortableness of the cold felt like someone had scraped out my insides, and mother nature mimicked the feeling.
“Can you honestly tell me this isn’t some half-baked suicide mission for you?” Hida asked in her gruff voice as she looked at me with utter focus.
My cheeks stain with embarrassment at her no punches pulled statement. It’s not like I wanted to die today. But if I did, would it really be that big of a loss? I’d been a shell of my former self for the last two years while Kainda hunted Uttu. This had ripped the newly formed scab off a wound, and it poured fresh blood. No, the plan wasn’t to die today, but if I died getting rid of this bitch, I’d do so happily. At least then I’d be with Theron again.
My silence must have been answer enough for her. She sighed loudly as she shook her head. We lapsed back into silence. I liked it better that way. I couldn’t really call this peace with the turmoil inside of me, but it was as close as I’d get anytime soon. At this point, I’d take what I could get.
“I’d rather not lose another team member today, Del. Don’t make me hog tie you inside and leave your stubborn ass here because by the gods I will. Get your head out of your ass and get it on straight. I’ve lost too many friends in this business already. Living as long as I have, death has never stopped affecting me. I know I’ll out live you, but don’t cut our friendship short with any harebrained stunts today.” Hida left before I could say anything else.
In all the time I’d known her, she’d never been so talkative. Her guarded and quiet personality she used as a shield, she spoke her mind when it needed to be spoken and nothing more. Her words sat in disquiet with me as I watched the sun continue to climb in the sky. All too soon, I had to go inside and suit up. I needed this to be over, win or lose, death or survival. Living in this limbo was no longer an option. The numbness had long since worn off, and now anger burned furiously, eating me alive.
The door opened again and this time Bronwen stepped through. My heart thumped painfully seeing her. I’d only met her a few times over the years, and only after she’d kicked Theron to the curb. Interacting with her felt awkward and uncomfortable. I guess she didn’t share that sediment as she stopped next to me with a sad smile.
“Even after all these years, I still miss the way he’d snore.” She pulled her hair over her shoulder and started to braid it as she spoke. “Oh, and his grilled cheese sandwiches.”
My heart pinched in my chest, I knew exactly what she meant, I missed those same things. “It’s hard to fall asleep without him sawing logs beside me. I hate that I used to complain about it. Now, I know it's silly, but I’d give everything for one more night of him snoring.”
“It’s not silly. You can grieve however you need to. I’m glad he had you to help his heart heal after I ended the relationship. More importantly, I appreciate how you cared for Kainda as she grew up. I just wanted to say thank you.”
This all felt surreal to have this conversation with Theron’s ex-wife. “You don’t need to thank me. Honestly, I think I should be thanking you.”
Then for a moment we lapsed into silence. I fought to keep the tears locked away and begged determination to get me through today. But despite the nice conversation we’d had, the longer the silence lasted, the more awkward it became. Until she finally broke the silence.
“I hope that after this, it will let Theron rest peacefully in the afterlife.” She spoke as she touched the pendant around her neck.
A jealous part of me hoped he hadn’t given it to her. The words that came out of my mouth could’ve believably been made by a shifter, given the intense growl to the tone. “Are you saying his spirit isn’t at peace?”
I’d wage war on the spirit realm if I had to so that he could have the rest he so rightfully deserved. Burn this bitch and the next down to the ground before I would live knowing he’d become a restless spirit. Acid churned in my stomach and ate away at my sanity that had seemed to become more and more fleeting. My heart still as raw of a wound as the day I’d gotten the news of his death. Theron, I wish you were here.
“I don’t know for sure. Seeing ghosts isn’t among my powers. And I doubt very much he’d come to see me. If it comforts you at all, I don’t sense anything ghostly when I’m around you or Kainda. He’d come back to see you two, that I know without a doubt.” Her voice grew quiet, and she looked up at the sky as she spoke.
The dam I’d barely managed to hold together by sheer force of will burst, and tears tracked down my cheeks to drip off my jaw. “Nothing brings me comfort anymore.”
“He wouldn’t want you to keep punishing yourself. Theron wasn’t perfect, but he loved you as much as he could love anyone. The man was married to his work, and in the end it cost him everything.” Not a trace of bitterness colored her tone, but the words angered me.
I glared at her so hard, my eyes burned as I spit my response back at her. “He was a good man, and I resent that you’re trying to tarnish his memory.”
“Delmira, I’m not attempting to damage his memory. I loved that man from the moment I met him— maybe not the exact moment we met— until the moment he died. But I’m not so blinded by those emotions as to think him the pillar of perfection you’re making him out as. He doesn’t belong on a pedestal. Despite what fate said, he wasn’t my perfect other half. The edges fit together, but they didn’t lock in place. Instead, they rubbed against each other, creating friction that ate away at what we had. We may have been magically fated, but we didn’t truly belong together.” Tears shone in her blue eyes, making them look like turbulent seas. “I think the only reason the fates brought us together was to create Kainda. And for that I’ll always be grateful.”
I sneered, even though I knew it was rude and more bitchy than Bronwen deserved. “You and your kind may not believe in soulmates, but he was mine. The other half of me, perfect for me. I’m glad the two of you didn’t work out so that we could have our moment. Thanks again for kicking him out of your life.”
She flinched at that. “I’m glad you take pleasure in my pain. And I’m sorry denial clouds your mind and heart so strongly. Look deep inside past the shock, pain, and anger of his death at your relationship. Are you so sure that what you’ll find is a flawless work of art? I don’t know your relationship with Theron, but I do know that man. He had many good qualities that made him a good father and great hunter, but his many flaws made him at best an okay partner, despite how much he loved those around him. I hope we can one day both find the love you think you had with Theron.”