Chapter 37
FEE
“Do we have everything? Did I forget something? What if we forgot something?” I am a nerves extravaganza.
“We didn’t forget anything. You had it all organized and labeled and we triple-checked before we got in the car,” Lexi assures me.
“And even if we did forget something, one of us can run back to the studio and get it for you since we’re super early,” Cammie adds.
“We’ve got you.” Enid side-hugs me.
“It’s going to be amazing,” Tally says.
“Here, drink this.” Dred passes me a water bottle.
“Thanks.” I take a cautious sip, then another.
She and Lexi came to pick me and the girls up at the studio. If ever there was a time I needed my friends and my sister, it’s tonight. Roman is bringing Ariel and Callie to the show a little later, once we have everything set up.
We pull into the gallery parking lot and bring the pieces inside.
Other students involved in the showcase are standing in their designated spots, assembling their own installments.
One girl is crying. Another is pacing with her hand covering her mouth.
Two guys keep moving pieces around for another artist as they try to get the setup perfect.
The energy in the room is frenetic anxiety, light angst, and excitement.
Lexi puts her arm around my shoulder and pulls me into her side. “Take a breath, Big Pheels.”
I do, inhaling to the count of four and exhaling to the same. “I miss Mom,” I whisper, suddenly on the precipice of a feelings waterfall.
“Me, too. Every single day.” She kisses the top of my head and pulls back, hands curving around my shoulders. “She’s up in heaven with your dad, and they’re watching over you right now. They’re so proud of you.” She blinks back her own tears. “We all are, Fifi.”
She’s my sister, but she’s more. She’s the mother figure I need and crave. She wears so many hats for me now, and I am so grateful that she’s here with me.
“I love you,” I whisper.
“I love you, too.” She hugs me again.
And suddenly there are many sets of arms wrapped around me, grounding me.
“Okay.” I shake off all the sads with another deep breath. “I love you, girls, and I really don’t want to mess up my makeup, so let’s save the mushy stuff for later and get set up!”
“You got it, Fee.” Cammie high-fives me. “None of us want puffy eyes.”
We spend the next hour arranging the canvases, allowing the paintings to tell the story.
“Oh, girl.” Cammie links arms with me as we stand in a line, in front of my installation. “First of all, this is so freaking cool, and beautifully moving. Second, I hope you’re prepared for the onslaught of your fans, and also you made Mac look damn good.”
“He’s not hard to paint or look at." My heart aches a little, but after tonight, he and I can talk. I’m nervous about what he has to say, but I know what my feelings are, and what I want. Hopefully he wants the same thing.
“Oh! Oh, holy shit!” One of the other artists rushes over, eyes wide. “It’s you! You’re Ouvre Obsession! This is incredible!”
Suddenly I’m surrounded by my peers, accepting hugs, signing the posters and stickers they’ve collected this year.
“What is happening right now?” Lexi’s eyes are wide with wonder, while my friends stand by, wearing wide, proud smiles.
Yeah, there’s a really great chance I’ll cry at some point tonight.
“Fee has a secret online artist profile and she’s kind of a legend around here,” Cammie explains.
Lexi’s expression is a combination of surprise and pride. I don’t have to explain to her why I kept it a secret, she understands the challenges I’ve faced the past few years. “I’m so proud of you, we all are.” Her gaze lifts to the ceiling.
After a few minutes, the other artists disperse, returning to their own installments to finish setting up.
“We told you people were going to freak out tonight, didn’t we?” Cammie’s proud smile hits me right in my artist heart.
“This is so much different than comments on a post.”
Cammie bumps my shoulder. “You’re stepping into the light, and now we all get to see you shine.”
“Just a heads-up, there’s already a line of people waiting to get in.” Tally tips her chin toward the windows where a crowd of students are gathered, phones out, taking photos through the glass.
“Oh crap, tonight is going to be a little wild, isn’t it?” Reality is starting to sink in.
“Wild and awesome. We all have your back,” Enid assures me.
I’m hit with a wave of anxiety and I gather my hair, twisting it around my hand, so it isn't touching my neck.
“Arms down.” Cammie touches my elbow.
I glance down and suck in a gasp. “Double crap! I should have known better than to wear anything other than black tonight.”
“I can drive back to your apartment and grab you a different dress,” Lexi offers.
I glance at the clock. “There isn’t enough time.” The showcase starts in half an hour.
“We’ll trade.” Tally steps forward. “We’re basically the same size. You’re just a little taller.”
“But then you’ll have pit stains.”
“It’s not my art show. And you're the one who will be doing all the talking.” She takes my hand. “Come on.”
I follow her down the hall and we slip into the gender-neutral bathroom. We trade dresses and she uses the hand drier on mine while I pull hers over my head.
I smooth the navy fabric over my hips. My legs are longer, so it only reaches mid-thigh. “How do I look?”
“You’re smoking.” She gives me two thumbs-up—Cammie style—then reaches for my hand. “It's time for you to meet your fans.”