Chapter 19
Chapter Nineteen
Autumn
I’m groggy when I wake up as if I had too much to drink last night, which is odd since I wouldn’t know what that feels like. I’ve only tried alcohol a few times and didn’t like it. I’ve never been drunk, but I bet the next day feels like this.
As soon as I begin to sit up, Mace enters the room. I’m not surprised now I know about the monitor on the nightstand. Glancing at it, I wince.
“What’s wrong, Baby girl?”
“Not sure how I feel about all the surveillance you have now that I know Frank has been spying on me.”
Daddy sits next to my hip. His brow is furrowed.
“I can understand that. I hope you can differentiate between the two. I’ll show you exactly where every camera in this house is located.
The others are part of the alarm system, much like your father had in his house.
Only this monitor is separate. I promise I only use it to keep an eye on you when you sleep, so I’ll always know when you wake up. I like to be able to come to you.”
“Okay.”
“I won’t be watching you touch yourself because one of your rules will be no masturbating without permission.”
I gasp. My eyes widen as my jaw drops.
He chuckles. “You heard me, Autumn. I mean it. If you need to come, ask me.”
Now I need to come. Before, I was just groggy. His order has made my pussy clench. He’s evil like that.
I glance toward the bathroom. “You don’t have cameras in there, do you?”
“No, Baby girl. They’re all in the corners of the main rooms. Except for the monitor on the nightstand.”
Remembering why I’m here in the first place, I ask, “Did they find Frank?”
“Not yet, sweetheart, but they will.”
After shoving the covers back, I spin around and crawl over to Mace. I climb onto his lap because it’s my favorite place to be.
He kisses my temple and holds me close, a soft sigh coming from him. Apparently, this is where he likes me, also. “How about I invite Eloise over today?”
“That would be nice.” He’s trying to distract me, so I don’t spend all my time fretting about Frank. I don’t mind. “I’ll make you some breakfast while you get dressed.”
I grin at him. “You’re spoiling me.”
“That’s my plan.” He winks. “If I treat you like a princess, you’ll never leave me.”
I wrap my arms around his neck and squeeze. It’s hard for me to imagine ever leaving him. He doesn’t need to win me over. We’ve been a sure thing for four years.
In the short time I’ve been here, I’m already thinking of this apartment as home. Mace is my home. It’s surreal, but I’m starting to trust it’s a sure thing.
It’s weird how we’ve so quickly settled into our new normal. A few days ago, I never could have imagined exchanging more than a few polite words with the man who starred in all my fantasies. It seemed too far-fetched to ever become a reality.
And then my father died…
I lower my cheek to Daddy’s shoulder and close my eyes, letting the soothing contact of his hand on my back make me feel safe and loved.
He comforts me. As I squirm, I’m reminded that my butt is going to be sore all day from the hard spanking he gave me last night.
That comforts me, too. It will be a constant reminder that I have a Daddy now, and he’s willing to give me what I need.
I’m not even sure what is on the list of things I want from a Daddy, but I’m learning that no matter what I discover about myself, Mace will deliver.
Eventually, he kisses my temple. “Ready to get up, Baby girl?”
I shake my head, whimpering.
He chuckles. “Okay. Let me know. We can sit here all day if that’s what you need.”
My chest tightens at those words. He would do exactly that, and it means the world to me.
I’m sure he would ordinarily be at work right now.
I guess the other guys in the office are covering for him.
He hasn’t worked much since I arrived. I’m so grateful.
I think I’d end up pacing around the apartment and panicking if he left me here alone all day.
I never could have imagined Mace moving me into his home, taking time off work without flinching, and spending every moment seeing to my needs.
I just didn’t know him that well. I knew he was a good man.
My father wouldn’t have been so fond of him if he weren’t.
I knew he was sexy. I knew I liked his smile.
I knew his voice did things to me that made me ache inside.
I was unprepared for what I’ve gotten. The world. The universe. The biggest support system I could have imagined.
When my bladder makes itself known, I squirm. “Need to pee, Daddy.”
He smiles as he eases me onto my feet.
I’m still wearing my dress from last night, and it falls around my thighs as Daddy turns me toward the bathroom. “Come to the kitchen after you get dressed, sweetheart.”
I don’t like how I feel when he leaves the room. For long seconds, I lean against the bed, staring at the open doorway, picturing how hot he is in worn jeans and a tight navy T-shirt. It’s probably just normal clothing to him. To me, it’s sex personified.
I know why he left. He’s giving me time and space before increasing our level of intimacy. He hasn’t exactly seen me naked. He’s touched me intimately, but I’ve always had a shirt or dress on.
Shocking myself, I want more. I want him to Daddy me instead of leaving me alone to take care of myself.
Maybe I’m feeling exceptionally Little because of everything that’s happened recently.
Or maybe I’ve given myself permission to finally experience something I thought was only ever going to be inside my head.
It’s sort of a relief. Like living a dream. Every day I wake up, I’m still in the dream.
I’m frozen, standing here leaning against the bed where Daddy left me. Am I being needy? I don’t want Mace to think I’m too much work. I’m not. Or I wasn’t three days ago. I was a well-adjusted adult with a college degree and job interviews lined up.
Now? I’m tired, which is understandable. But it’s more than that. It’s as if I’m exhausted beyond what has happened. It’s not just my father’s death or me rushing across the country to find safety in Mace’s arms.
I think I’ve been living the wrong life, and I’m worn out from doing so.
I wasn’t in my true skin. Being Little was something I stuffed down inside me and ignored.
It didn’t seem feasible to bring my Little out and live some sort of life that included age play.
Having no idea that other people did so made it impossible for me to grasp.
“Autumn?”
I jerk my gaze up to find Mace in the doorway. His brow is furrowed. He’s holding a box of pancake mix.
I shove off the bed and wring my hands together in front of me, as if I’ve just been caught doing something naughty.
“Sweetheart, what’s wrong? You haven’t moved since I went to the kitchen.” He comes closer and sets the box on the nightstand.
I glance at it.
He squats in front of me and sets his hands on my hips. “I came back to ask if you wanted pancakes or waffles. Talk to me, Baby girl.”
“Do you have chocolate chips?” I ask in a very small voice.
He smiles. “I think so.”
“Can you make pancakes with them?”
“I don’t see why not.” He grabs my hands. “But tell me why you’re still standing here. I thought you needed to go potty.”
The word potty yanks me into a deeper Little space than I was already sliding into. At the reminder, I twist out of his grasp and run for the bathroom. I don’t shut the door, but I do close the one to the smaller enclosure that houses the toilet.
Luckily, I manage to empty my bladder before it does so on its own. When I step back into the bathroom, Mace is leaning against the sink.
“Come.” He motions for me to join him.
I’m oddly bashful and out of sorts as I shuffle toward him, and I’m grateful as he angles me to face the sink. It’s as though I’ve forgotten what comes next when he pumps some liquid soap into his palm, turns on the water, and washes my hands for me.
It’s endearing. Neither of us speaks as he takes care of me. We still don’t say a word while he dries my hands, nor when he turns me around and lifts me.
I wrap my arms and legs around him and rest my cheek against his shoulder. It feels right. Home. It’s not his apartment. It’s him.
I lived my entire life in my father’s house. I didn’t even move out to attend college. I would have said I’m a creature of habit and didn’t want to change anything, not even so much as moving out of my bedroom.
But now I’m here, and Daddy’s home feels completely natural to me. This is where I belong.
I cling to him, feeling extremely needy and nervous.
He rubs my back as he heads for the closet. When he gets there, he shifts me to one hip. “Let’s find something for you to wear.”
I still say nothing as he flips through dresses, finally lifting a hanger. “How about this one?” He holds up a pale-yellow dress. It’s cotton with smocking on the chest and tiny white daisies all over.
I nod. It’s pretty, but all I care about is that he chose it.
Daddy replaces the dress on the rack and then removes it from the hanger before turning toward the drawers and snagging a pair of yellow panties. When he sits on the bench seat in the middle of the closet, he lowers me to my feet in front of him.
After setting the dress and panties next to him, he cups my face. “Do you want Daddy to dress you, Baby girl?”
I stare at him and nod slowly. Emotions are clogging my throat, keeping me from speaking. It’s messy in my head, a combination of feelings that are jumbled up and tangled, making it difficult to form sentences.
Thoughts are flying, bumping into each other.
You’re a grown woman, Autumn.
Let yourself be Little.
Don’t be so clingy.
He likes taking care of you.
He’s going to get tired of you.
Daddy adores you just the way you are.
I don’t know what to believe. I’m scared to trust this to be real.
“Baby girl, you look like you’re about to get a tooth extraction. Your eyes are so wide they’re going to pop out of your head. Are you sure this is what you want?”
I lick my lips. “Yes, Daddy.”
Mace slides his hands to the hem of yesterday’s dress. “Arms up, sweetheart.”
I lift my hands above my head, shivering when the dress is whisked off my body. I’m not nervous about my nudity. I’m just chilled from the air in here.
Okay, I’m a little nervous about being naked in front of him. What if he doesn’t like what he sees?
So I watch his face, hoping to catch his initial reaction. But he immediately bends forward so he can lower my panties.
I grab his shoulders to balance myself while I step out of them.
Now I’m really naked. I’m also both Little and Big at the same time. The man who is gripping my biceps, letting his gaze roam up and down my body, is looking at an adult. The growl that escapes his lips makes me feel incredibly sexy and desirable.
“Fuck, Autumn. You’re stunning.”
I start shivering.
“You’re even sexier than I imagined.” He releases my arm and brings his fingers around to gently cup one of my breasts.
When his thumb strokes over my nipple, I lean into him and whimper.
“So fucking pretty.” His voice is lower than usual. He trails his fingers down my tummy until they reach my pussy.
My breath hitches as he lightly strokes the front, making my clit swell.
“Do you shave yourself, Baby girl?”
“Mmhmm.” I’ve been shaving for years. I never really liked the feeling of hair between my legs.
“So pretty.” He releases me and quickly grabs my clean panties. “Hold on to Daddy’s shoulders again, sweetheart.”
Trembling with need, I do as I’m told and let him put the panties on me.
It’s not as if I can expect him to fuck me right this second, but I’m aroused from how he’s looking at me.
It’s sort of unexpected. I’m not sure why.
I guess I wasn’t as confident he would find me attractive as I should have been.
As soon as he has the cotton panties situated, he reaches for the dress. “Arms, Baby girl.”
I lift them again and let him lower the dress over my body. The smocking hugs my breasts, making it completely unnecessary to wear a bra. I prefer to go without support for my breasts when I’m in a Little headspace anyway. This is perfect.
Daddy surprises me by cupping both my cheeks and kissing me. Not a peck. A deep kiss that makes my toes curl and my heart race. When he eventually breaks us apart, he quickly stands and takes my hand. “Breakfast.”
He hauls me into the bedroom, grabs the pancake mix from the nightstand, and leads me toward the kitchen as if the room is on fire and we need to escape before it consumes us. I don’t think the truth is very far from that.