Chapter 20
Chapter Twenty
Mace
Fuck, that was intense. I hadn’t planned to dress my girl this morning. I’d intentionally left her so she could put clothes on without me watching. But she looked so lost and Little when I returned to the bedroom, and I knew she needed guidance.
Finally seeing her naked made my chest tighten.
I wasn’t kidding when I said she’s more stunning than I imagined.
Her skin is so white with a smattering of freckles everywhere.
Her nipples are a rosy pink. I wanted to fucking suckle them, but that would have led to me stripping out of my jeans and fisting my cock. We’re not going there yet.
When we reach the kitchen, I set the mix on the counter before lifting Autumn onto a kitchen stool and handing her the sippy cup of juice I prepared before our interesting detour.
I’m not sorry. It was just unexpected. I knew the moment I returned and found her standing where I’d left her that something was off. It took me a few seconds to realize off wasn’t the right word. She was teetering on the edge of serious Little space.
I don’t think she had any specific thoughts of wanting me to see her naked. I believe she simply needed me to dress her, which I’m happy to do every day for the rest of my life. Dressing my girl is not exactly a hardship.
Pausing to admire and gently fondle her was necessary for several reasons. She may have been feeling Little, but she wasn’t unaware of the way I was looking at her. Autumn needed reassurance that she is as beautiful as I intend to remind her every day.
She’s capable of knowing that my gaze was on her adult self and that the feelings elicited belonged to Big Autumn. It took every ounce of my willpower to keep from lowering my face to her breast and taking her nipple into my mouth.
Soon. But that wasn’t on the docket for this morning. I’m not going to be able to put her off for long, though. I hate that her father died so recently. It’s left a raw, open wound for both of us, but neither of us is going to be able to tiptoe around each other much longer.
I want her under me. I want to show her what it means to be mine. I want to hear her whimpers turn into moans and then screams as I thrust my cock into her tight body.
It’s humbling, knowing that I’ll be the only man to ever touch her. I want it to be special. I want her to be fully focused on our union without a single concern for the rest of the world.
There’s too much looming over us for me to make my girl’s first sexual experience what she deserves.
Autumn watches me from her stool as I fry bacon and stir the pancake mix. I catch her grinning when I add tiny chocolate chips. She doesn’t say anything; she simply sits there as if she’s in a contemplative mood.
I’m not surprised. Her life has taken a one-eighty in a few days. No part of her expected to be sitting in my kitchen, letting herself be Little while I make breakfast.
I didn’t expect anything like this to happen, either. I find myself constantly at war in my head over the sobering loss of her father, combined with the elation I feel over finally having Autumn in my life. Without his death, she would not be here.
After preparing my girl a plate, I slide it in front of her before cupping her chin to tip her head back.
She looks at me with huge green eyes.
“You may have as many pancakes as you want, but eat all of your eggs first. You need the protein.”
Her cheeks pinken at my command. “Yes, Daddy.” Her voice is soft and submissive. She clearly needs me to dominate her heavily this morning.
I can give her this. I’m testing her. Checking how she will react to my firm demands, especially when what I’m ordering her to do is totally unnecessary.
That’s not the point. What I’m exploring is her desire to obey me.
It appears to be strong because she immediately picks up her fork and stabs into her scrambled eggs.
My phone vibrates in my jeans pocket, and I pull it out to see a text from Cannon. Not surprising since I texted him a while ago.
I’ll bring Eloise over in about an hour.
I send a quick response.
Thank you. Warning, Autumn is in a pretty deep Little space this morning.
That information will help him prepare Eloise. I’m sure it won’t be an issue for her.
Autumn smiles at me as she chomps on a piece of bacon. Her eggs are gone.
I kiss her forehead and reach for the syrup to drizzle over her pancakes. Testing her further, I grab a knife and cut them into bite-sized pieces.
My girl giggles. “Thank you, Daddy.” And then she dives into them without hesitation, as if it’s perfectly normal for me to tell her what to eat and then cut up her food. If this can become our norm, I’ll do a happy dance in my head.
Autumn is in a calm place this morning. I think she’s letting herself exist in a headspace that allows her to block out the bad parts.
I’m pretty sure that’s okay, so long as it’s not permanent.
There’s no harm in her spending some hours as Little as she wants, to give her mind a rest from facing the reality of her father’s death and his killer’s betrayal.
She’s curled up on the couch with a young-adult book when Cannon and Eloise arrive. After I open the door to let them in, I turn to find Autumn sliding off the couch and shuffling toward us timidly. Not surprising.
Every Little feels nervous each time they meet someone new. No matter how many times I tell her I would never expose her to someone who would judge her, she’s going to have some trepidation. Exposing her Little makes her feel vulnerable.
I reach for her as I shut the door. When she’s close enough, I take her hand and pull her in front of me. “Autumn, this is Eloise and her Daddy, Cannon.”
She gives a small wave. “Nice to meet you.”
Luckily, Eloise is dressed similarly. Cannon would have prepared her for Autumn’s headspace. “You, too. I’m sorry about your father.”
“Thank you.” Autumn turns and wraps her arms around my middle.
I slide my hand between her shoulder blades and hold her close, supporting her emotionally and physically.
Cannon meets my gaze. “We need to talk.”
I stiffen. His bluntness suggests there’s been a development in the case. Grabbing one of Autumn’s braids, I tip her head back. “Why don’t you take Eloise into your playroom while I speak with Cannon?”
She hesitates, glancing at Cannon and back at me. She knows perfectly well that we’re going to discuss something involving her. She’s a smart woman.
But she’s also been in a blissful Little space for a few hours, and I want her to stay there a while longer. Whatever Cannon has to say will need to be delivered to her by me later. I lean my face closer and give her a stern look, brows narrowed. “Do as you’re told, Baby girl.”
She swallows. “But…”
I can’t be one hundred percent certain what she needs from me right now, but I’m going to take an educated guess. “Do you need me to spank you in front of your new friend?”
Her face turns bright red, and she bites her bottom lip hard.
Being spanked in front of other people is definitely a need she has.
I’m not surprised, and I will give her what she craves, but that has to wait.
I don’t want to take the time to discipline her right now.
Whatever Cannon has to say is more important.
Autumn releases her lip. “No, Daddy,” she murmurs. It’s not what she wants, but I suspect she recognizes that now is not a good time for me to spank her.
“Playroom, Autumn,” I command. “Occupy yourselves. I’ll let you know when you can come out.”
“Yes, Sir.”
When I release her, she glances at Eloise and lowers her gaze timidly. That doesn’t worry me. She likes to be embarrassed. I’ve learned that much.
Eloise smiles and takes her hand. “I’ve been in your playroom. It’s amazing. Maybe we can color.”
The two girls shuffle away silently.
When they’re out of sight, I turn toward Cannon. “Coffee?”
“Yes.”