Chapter Six
“Do you have everything?” I ask both kids.
“Yes!” Emily yells, excited to be going.
Tanner is more subdued, but nods.
For a split second, it feels like before. Before our life went to shit, before my husband beat me almost to death, before we started running. Emily looks like she won the lottery as she flitters around talking about all the things she hopes to do at school.
School.
She is excited about school. Most kids hate school, but she is happy to go because not only will it get her out of the house, but it gives her a chance to meet new people. Friends, something she used to have a lot of.
It almost hurts thinking about how much she wants to be away from me, but I know it has nothing to do with me.
Tanner, on the other hand, doesn’t want to go. I can see the worry in his eyes. He doesn’t want us to be separated. That isn’t healthy either. He needs to get back to the boy he once was.
That’s how I know I’m making the right decision. I need him to heal, and keeping him cooped up isn’t going to help with that.
Still, the thought of them being away from me causes me anxiety. We’ve spent so much time together recently that the thought of them being away from me almost feels like I’m missing a limb.
It’s fine, though. Everything is fine. They need this. Hell, I need this. I’ve had a week to wrap my head around it.
“Mom, are you okay?” Tanner asks, his eyes showing his concern.
This is for them.
“Of course. Now come on. We need to get outside so you can get on the bus.” I force a smile.
He looks skeptical, but follows me out the door.
Twenty minutes later, they are on their way to school. As I ride in the back of the rideshare to Saint’s Garage, guilt settles in.
I should have taken them to school. It’s their first day at a new place, and I should be there to make sure they find their way.
It would have required two rideshares, though, and I don’t have the funds for it.
Shit, I don’t even have the funds for the one I’m currently in.
It’s bad enough that the kids’ school supplies magically appeared on my front steps after I told Bertha that I was trying to figure out how to buy everything.
In all reality, I have the money, but I need to be careful with how much I spend and how.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m thankful for Bertha and Mac, but I can’t help but feel like I owe them. That someday they will call in an IOU that I won’t be able to cash in. No one does something like this out of the goodness of their own heart, not in my experience. Right?
The car comes to a stop in front of the garage. I thank the woman, giving her a small tip in the app as she drives away. I take a deep breath as I stare at the building.
This is it.
All I have to do is go in here and do a good job. Earn a paycheck to provide for the kids and maybe, if I can manage it, save some money for my own car, something I desperately need.
If I have a car, I won’t have to rely on anyone else. Then, when he comes searching for me, the kids and I can take off on our own. We won’t need to beg and plead with strangers to help us out again.
It worked out for the best, though. This place has been a blessing for us. I hope he doesn’t find us at all, or at least for a very long time.
I’m here. We’re safe, we have food on the table and a roof over our heads, and now I’m starting a job while the kids start school.
It’s fine. Everything is fine.
Someone steps out of the garage bay, and I watch as they wipe their hand on a rag.
It takes me a minute to realize that it’s Mac, and he’s staring right at me.
For some odd reason, my heart kicks up as he walks toward me.
Not because I’m scared of him, but because of the way he watches me.
It makes me feel so safe and cared for. Something I have never felt before.
That, and because he’s hot as hell—objectively, of course.
Not that I would ever admit it out loud.
Men like Mac know they are attractive. They don’t need their egos stroked. He already knows he could have any woman.
It has me wondering if his nice guy routine is who he really is or another facade. I hate that Evan did this to me. I question everyone and everything.
“Morning,” he says huskily, drawing my attention back to him.
“Morning.” I meet him halfway and stop in the middle of the parking lot.
“Kids get off to school okay?” he asks, making my heart squeeze.
I should be scared by how focused on the kids he seems to be, but it’s a relief. I like knowing that if something happened to me, there is someone who would care for the kids. As much as I might doubt him, I know if push comes to shove, he and Bertha would get the kids out and safe.
“Yeah, they were excited,” I tell him, forcing a smile.
“Good.” He nods.
I clear my throat. “Thank you again, by the way.”
“For what?” He quirks an eyebrow.
“The school supplies.” I give him a pointed look.
It had to be him. We don’t know anyone else here.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he lies.
Okay, if that’s how he wants to play it, fine.
“You’ve been standing out here for a few minutes. You nervous to go in by yourself?” He looks back at the building.
“Maybe a little,” I admit.
“Don’t be. We don’t bite.” He pauses. “Well, Gunner and Sloane might, but only each other.”
For some reason, the image of the two of them biting each other makes me laugh.
“What are you two doing out here?” a voice calls out.
Mac turns as Smoke comes into view.
“Just talking,” Mac tells him.
Smoke studies him for a minute before he turns to look at me. The way he looks at me makes me want to run and hide. Not because I think he would hurt me, but because it feels like he sees right through me. Like he knows my deepest, darkest secrets, and if he doesn’t yet, he will soon.
He is the president of an MC, so I guess that makes sense.
Yeah, I took the week off to research a little about them too. They started in Boston, but have clubs all over the country now. They are praised for their charitable work in the areas they live in, but there are also articles about the darker side.
So I am no fool to think these men are harmless. I only trust that they won’t hurt me as long as I don’t become a threat. Something I never plan to be.
“You ready to get started?” Smoke asks.
I take a deep breath. “I think so.”
“Good. Let’s head inside so I can show you the ropes. It’s hot as balls out here already,” Smoke mutters as he turns and starts walking back toward the garage.
I begin to follow him, and Mac falls into step next to me.
“Let me know if you need anything,” Mac says quietly when we reach the garage.
Before I can say anything, he breaks away and heads toward a car that looks like it’s seen better days.
“Jane, you with me?” Smoke calls out, bringing my attention back to him.
“Sorry,” I say as I rush toward him.
We step into the office and head over to the desk.
“Take a seat,” Smoke says, pointing to the chair next to his.
For a second, I contemplate asking him if I can move. The idea of being so close to a man is terrifying.
He’s happily taken, and he won’t hurt you. I remind myself.
I remember Mac saying he was married, so he is safe. Right?
“I know I already said it, but thank you for hiring me,” I tell him as I set my bag down.
“Seriously, don’t worry about it. We all need a little help sometimes. Just promise me that when it’s time and you can, you’ll help someone else out when they need it,” he says as he takes a seat next to me.
“I can do that.”
“Good. Now, do you want to start with billing or ordering parts?” he asks, getting straight to business.
I have to stop myself from calling out to her as I watch her walk away. All I want is for her to turn those pretty brown eyes my way.
She’s married. Not only that, but she’s on the run. The last thing she needs is a guy like me sniffing around.
Still, something about her intrigues me. Not only that, but I have a lot of questions, even though I know it’s not my place to ask.
I want to know if the kids liked their school supplies.
If Emily liked her Moana lunch box and matching backpack.
If Tanner liked the hockey-themed shit that I got for him.
Thanks to my sister, I know they like those things, but I still want to hear if I did a good job, if I picked out what they would have.
My mind drifts back to when Bertha called.
It was the usual check-in, as it has become since Jane came here, but then she mentioned some of Jane’s worries.
It kills me she feels she can’t talk to me about them, but I am grateful Bertha is there for her when she doesn’t want me to be.
I just hope that someday she’s comfortable enough with me to bring up her concerns.
So when she mentioned sending money for me to go pick up school supplies, I snorted and told her to keep her money.
We argued for a good five minutes about it, but in the end, I told her that when she dropped them here, they became my responsibility, and I would take care of them no matter the cost.
Then she asked me the one question that had me freezing.
“Do you like her?”
I didn’t answer her then, but the question has been plaguing my mind ever since.
Do I like her? I don’t really know much about her, but something is drawing me toward her.
There is something about her and those kids that makes me want to take them in and never let them go—never let them know pain and suffering.
I wish I could erase the past from their brains.
I can’t, though, so instead I will show them what a good man is. That way, they never question it again.
“You good, man?” Gunner asks, jerking me from my thoughts.
I clear my throat. “Yeah, I’m good. Why?”
“You’ve been staring at the office door for five minutes like you’re contemplating your life choices,” he tells me.
“The only choice I’m contemplating is why I decided to move here. Shit, I’m already sticky as fuck from the humidity.”
Gunner shoots me a look like he doesn’t believe a word that’s coming out of my mouth. Then again, I don’t blame him.
He opens his mouth to say something, but someone else speaks up.
“Hey, who’s the new girl in the office with Smoke?” Jagger asks as he walks up to us.
“Jane,” Sloane says from under the hood next to us.
I look over at her and shake my head. Jesus Christ, my head was so in the clouds that I didn’t even know she was right there.
“She’s hot. Anyone know if she’s single?” Jagger asks.
“She’s off limits,” I snap.
Sloane straight up starts laughing, and Gunner smiles.
Shit.
“She yours?” Jagger asks.
“Don’t go there, man. You don’t want to risk Mac’s wrath,” Tank says from somewhere in the shop.
“She’s a friend, and she’s going through some shit. The last thing she needs is your punk ass sniffing around,” I tell him.
“I’m wounded,” Jagger says dramatically as he clutches his chest.
“She’s a single mom, Jagger. I think we all know that you aren’t ready to be a dad yet,” Sloane teases as she leans against her man.
Jagger winces. “I love fucking single moms, but that’s where it ends.”
Gunner sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose. “Why the hell are we talking about the new girl when we should be working?”
“I just finished my oil change and took the ticket into the office,” Jagger tells him.
“Then get the next car and get to work,” Gunner tells him.
Jagger salutes him and wanders off.
“You know, it’s kind of hot when you go all daddy on us,” Sloane tells Gunner, making him groan and me wince.
“Can you not? I really don’t want to hear about the shit you do in the bedroom,” I tell her.
“I swear to Christ, woman, you are going to be the death of me,” he mutters.
“Hey, no dying. Not unless you’ve updated your life insurance policy and I get everything,” she quips back.
“Pain in my ass,” he tells her.
“Gunner, Mac already said he didn’t want to hear about what we do in the bedroom,” Sloane says with faux innocence.
“Trouble, we both know that doesn’t happen. Shouldn’t you be working? The faster we get done for the day, the sooner we can get home.” He grumbles.
“Go home so you can remind me who’s in charge?” she quips.
Shaking my head, I move to the car I’m working on in the bay next to Sloane’s.
My eyes keep drifting to the office, hoping to see a glimpse of her.
The truth is, I have always felt like something here has been missing, but since Jane arrived, that has faded. Now I can’t imagine being anywhere else.
I need to be here if they need me. What if they run out of food or one of them gets hurt? I could help make it better for them.
That thought right there is what scares me most. I want to be the one they turn to. Not because I am a good man, but because I want them to be mine to care for.
What started as a good deed is slowly becoming an obsession. Jane doesn’t even know the amount of times I stand at my sink and stare at their house.
I don’t want to be a creepy stalker, but the idea of anything happening to them has my chest feeling like it is going to burst.
I’m already in too deep, and the woman can barely look at me without shaking.
No, I need to play the long game. Help her heal and give her an opportunity to figure out what she wants. Then I will offer myself to her on a silver platter and hope she wants me as much as I am starting to want her.