Chapter Nine
Last night has been weighing on me.
When Emily broke that planter, I braced myself for the pain. I wouldn’t let anyone hurt her.
Mac didn’t hurt her, though. He dried her tears and then cleaned it up himself. It is so different from what I’m used to. Even my father wouldn’t have been so kind about it, and Emily is his granddaughter.
It’s made me realize that my father is more like Evan than I could have imagined.
I never saw him hit my mother, but he could have.
Maybe she was a better wife than I was. She always seemed perfect.
I hated how she expected the same of me, but maybe it was her way of trying to keep me from the pain I suffered.
I have been reevaluating everything in my life since being here with these people. They are more like a family than anything I have ever experienced.
This is what I want. This life that they have.
It’s scary thinking about that. I find myself reluctant to think about leaving anymore. I feel safe here. I don’t even think about Evan as much anymore. It feels like I am in this bubble that he can’t pop.
I know that’s delusional of me to think, but for once, I am trying to enjoy my life a little bit.
“Hey,” Mac says, coming into the office with paperwork.
“Hey.” I blush.
I’ve been thinking about Mac more and more lately—in ways I probably shouldn’t.
His hugs are so good, though. I have only had the two, but I feel like they helped heal something inside of me.
Fuck, I want to hug him right now, but that would be inappropriate.
“Is that for me?” I tease when I catch him staring at me.
He clears his throat. “I finished the oil change on the Camry. Also, the bus should be here any moment, so I figured if you are okay with it, we could walk down together?”
He looks so unsure of himself. Way different from what I’m used to. I like the vulnerability.
“Yeah. Give me a second.”
I save the document I was working on before taking his paperwork and add it to my tray. Then I step around the desk and into his space.
He hasn’t moved, so I hesitantly move closer to him, wrapping my arms around his waist.
He tenses for a moment before hugging me back.
“I’m dirty and sweaty. You’re going to ruin that pretty shirt of yours,” he tells me.
It’s nothing special, just a top I found at Goodwill last weekend. I wasn’t going to buy myself anything, but I couldn’t help but grab it. It was only three dollars.
I pull away from him. “I don’t mind. Thank you for that.”
Turning, I walk out of the office, his footsteps following.
“No need to thank me. I like hugging you.”
I can’t admit to myself how good it feels to hear that. It’s too soon, isn’t it?
Yet, it feels right. I like Mac more than I should. I should be traumatized and unable to think of another man in that way, but Mac is slowly showing me that it doesn’t have to be the way it was with Evan. Things can be better.
When we step outside, I smile at the warmth on my cheeks. It’s taken some getting used to, but I am enjoying the weather.
“It will be cooling down soon,” Mac tells me.
“I’m used to the cold and dreary weather. The Pacific Northwest is only that.”
“That sucks,” he murmurs.
The bus pulls up then, stopping all conversation as we both make our way closer.
Emily comes bounding off the bus, excitement in her eyes. I wave to the bus driver as they take off.
Then Emily falls. I watch it in slow motion, hating that I can’t stop her.
“Mommy,” Emily cries out.
I’m not who gets to her first, though.
No, Mac has her up in his arms, fear in his eyes as he rushes her back into the building. I’m behind them as he takes her into the office.
He sits her on the chair as he grabs the first aid kit.
He growls, making me look up at him.
“What?” I ask, wiping away Emily’s tears.
“I don’t have any cartoon Band-Aids.” He grumbles, grabbing a plain one with some ointment.
“They aren’t used to those anyway. This will be fine.”
I hold my hand out, but he hesitates.
“Mac, will you hold my hand?” Emily’s bottom lip trembles as she asks.
He hands the supplies over, moving to Emily’s side as she grabs his hand.
“All right, baby girl. You squeeze as hard as you can. It will help distract you from the pain. It will be over before you know it,” he tells her.
“Won’t it hurt you?” she whispers.
“It will because I will be taking all of your pain. Don’t worry. I’m a big, strong man. I’m supposed to take all your pain, so give it to me. Okay?”
She nods, looking at him as I start to clean the cut.
She whimpers but squeezes Mac’s hand. He pretends to hiss.
“See, no pain for you because I have it. Can you feel it leaving you?” he asks.
She nods.
It doesn’t take long to get it all cleaned up. I smile when I’m done, and Emily throws herself into Mac’s arms.
“Thank you, Mac. I’m sorry you hurt.”
“I’m not, Emily. It’s my job to take the pain for you and your brother. Your mother too. You let me handle the pain, and you only enjoy the good stuff,” he tells her.
My heart is bursting watching the whole thing. I want to cry myself. How could he be so good with her? He has shown her more care in the last month than her father has her entire life.
“Let’s go get an ice cream.” Mac looks up at me as if I would tell him no. “That always makes me feel better.”
Emily nods, taking his hand as they leave the office. She doesn’t even look back.
It takes everything in me not to follow them, but it’s not because I don’t trust Mac.
No, it’s because I want to witness more of the man he is with her. I want to see how he will make her laugh or answer her silly questions.
I want to see the man who proves Evan was a true monster.
I left Emily in the office with Jane an hour ago, but my thoughts are still on her.
I can’t believe the kids never had cartoon Band-Aids. Hell, even I had them when I was small.
It’s something that seems insignificant, but to me it’s not. I am getting cartoon Band-Aids for every goddamn first aid kit in the place.
“Did that car do something to you?” Sloane asks.
I look down and realize I am being a bit rough. I sit back and sigh.
“Did you have cartoon Band-Aids growing up?”
She pauses, looking over at me. “Up until I was seven. Then my mom explained that they were more expensive and that I could have them or more food. Why?”
“Those kids never had them,” I admit. “I saw the clothes she brought with them. They were name brand, so expense wasn’t an issue. Why else wouldn’t they have them?”
She purses her lips.
She gets what I’m saying. The man she left was a true monster. He wouldn’t even let the kids have simple pleasures.
I gave Fox the information that she’s from the Pacific Northwest. Hopefully, that will help find her ex. I will eliminate him from this world if it’s the last thing I do.
“Mac, let’s talk,” Smoke calls out from the back.
I nod to Sloane, leaving the car I’m working on to follow Smoke.
“What’s up?” I ask as we step outside.
“The run went well. No issues. Medina wants us to make a northern run. I know you’d rather be here, but I need you and Gunner on it. I’ll put guys on the house with her,” Smoke tells me.
I rub my hand on my face. I don’t like it. I can’t say no, though. I can’t stay here forever and make my brothers pick up the slack.
“When?” I ask.
“Don’t have a timeline yet. Wanted to give you the heads-up, though. This one is going to be a bit more dangerous than the ones with the Lotus boys.”
I nod. “Understood. While I have you, I’m going to give Jane the Malibu. We haven’t used it in a while, so it needs to be driven anyway, and she needs a way to get around without relying on strangers.”
He smiles. “You know your sister only asked you to give her a place to stay and keep her safe. She didn’t tell you to do all this extra shit.”
“Are you telling me I can’t give it to her?” I ask him.
If he says no, I’ll go buy her one. I have plenty of money saved up.
“I didn’t say that. Just pointing out that you seem to be going above and beyond for the girl. Still claiming not to like her?” he asks.
I rub my hand down my face. “She just got out of an abusive marriage. It’s not fair of me to like her like that. She needs to heal.”
He shrugs. “May not be fair, but the feelings are there. She watches you too, you know. Maybe she is healing faster than you think. Not everyone is on the same timeline. For all you know, her marriage was dead long before she physically left it.”
“Can she have the car or not?” I bark.
He laughs. “Of course. Change out the tires and do a full tune-up. Make sure it’s safe for her and the kids. Gotta protect your family, Mac. Always.”
I hate that I like it when he calls them my family. He knows it too.
He laughs as he walks away, leaving me to go back to the car I was working on. I can’t focus on it, though. All I can think about is the Malibu and the fact that Tanner will be here soon.
“Sloane, can you finish this one? I need to work on the Malibu.”
She gives me a questioning look.
“I’m giving it to Jane.”
She smiles. “Leave it. I’ll get to it when I’m finished with this. I’m almost done.”
“Thanks.”
I leave the shop and head back to the garage off the clubhouse. The Malibu is a bit dusty but still runs great.
It takes me a couple of hours to hose it down and complete all the necessary work, but by the time I’m done, Tanner is there watching me.
“Can you teach me to do that?” he asks.
“You want to work on cars?” I ask him.
He shrugs. “Maybe.”
“Yeah. I’ll talk to your mom about it. It’s about time to go home. Why don’t you grab your sister and get her a snack while I talk to your mom?”
He nods, running into the office. Moments later, he and Emily come out and head toward the kitchenette we have.
I knock on the open door, smiling at how adorable Jane looks as she squints at a piece of paper.
“Having trouble?”
She holds it up for me to see. I wince when I see Gunner’s handwriting.
“Yeah, he should have been a doctor.” I move closer, looking at it closely. “He changed the filter and…” I trail off. “I think that says spark plugs.”
She nods. “He needs to slow down and write better. I can’t keep guessing or running down to ask him.”
“I’ll have a talk with him. Before you leave, I want to show you something.”
She smiles. “It is about that time, huh? Okay. What do you have for me?”
I motion for her to follow me. When she does, I stop her beside the Malibu in the parking lot. It looks good now.
“This is pretty. Is it yours?”
I shake my head, handing her the keys.
“What is this?”
“It’s a club car. They use it from time to time when riding a bike isn’t possible. Smoke and I want you to have it. I fixed it up, so it’s safe.”
“I can’t accept this.”
I laugh. “Of course you can. You have already done so much for the club. The shop is running more smoothly than ever, and you have collected on bills so past due that Smoke was going to write them off. Trust me, you are an asset, and we need you to be able to get around without relying on strangers. Please accept it. Not for you, but for the kids.”
She sighs. “I really want to be proud and say no, but it’s a relief. I hate getting rideshares.”
The guilt gnaws at me, but I push it aside.
“Good. So you’ll take the kids home. I even put booster seats in there for them both. I know Tanner is almost to the height, but the lady at the store said four feet nine inches, and he is about nine inches short, so…”
Her sudden hug catches me off guard. I wrap my arms around her instantly.
“Thank you for caring for my kids,” she whispers.
“You don’t have to thank me for that. I enjoy taking care of them. Taking care of you too, honestly.”
She pulls back, looking up at me. For a moment, I consider kissing her. It’s too soon, but fuck if I don’t want it.
The moment is broken when Emily comes running out with Tanner on her trail.
“I want a hug,” Emily yells.
I laugh as I kneel to hug Emily. Looking up at Tanner, I open my free arm.
“You want one too, bud?”
He is reluctant, but steps into my arm. I squeeze them both before pulling back and standing.
“Go get cleaned up. I need to shut a few things down, but then we will go home in our new car.”
“This is ours?” Emily asks, eyes wide.
“All yours,” I promise her.
She squeals, making me laugh.
“Thank you,” Jane says.
I only nod. She doesn’t know it yet, but I would do anything for her.