Chapter Twenty-Five
The kids are sleeping in the other room, with at least two brothers stationed outside the house. I asked Mac if it was necessary, but he said he wasn’t going to risk it.
I should be sleeping, but I can’t. Mac is next to me, but I know he isn’t sleeping either. Both of us are tense. The situation is weighing on us.
“Will this ever really be over?” I ask him.
He turns to face me, placing one hand on my hip.
“It will be. I am going to take care of it. Then we can discuss what the next steps for us are.” He brushes a piece of hair from my face.
I don’t want to wait to discuss that. I want to discuss it now. I want to start my future with Mac now. I am tired of Evan ruining everything all the time. For once, I want something for myself.
“Why do we have to wait?” I whisper.
He rubs his thumb on my cheek. “I refuse to pressure you into anything. I need you to be absolutely certain you want this with me because I meant it. If you agree to be my old lady, I will be adopting the kids, and we will be getting married. I won’t accept anything less, so I need you to be sure.”
“I am sure, Mac. I have never been more sure of anything in my life. I know it’s been a few months, but I feel like I’ve known you for years. We have spent so much time together. My kids love you. I want the future you promised. I want you.”
I lean forward, pressing my lips to his. He responds right away, letting me lead the kiss. I continue to kiss him softly, pressing my body to his. His hand falls to my hip, hooking my leg over his own hip as he deepens the kiss.
We kiss for what feels like an eternity. My body is burning up from the inside. I have never felt this before. The desire to truly give myself to another person. I want to know what sex feels like with someone you truly care about—someone who cares about you.
I want to experience it with Mac.
I run my hand down his chest until I reach the waistband of his boxers.
He pulls back, his hand grabbing mine.
“No. Not tonight. We have the rest of our lives. We can take this slow,” he promises me.
“Your restraint is admirable, but I don’t want to wait anymore.
I have wanted this for weeks now, but I was too scared to tell you.
I’m not scared anymore, Mac. I love you.
I think I started falling in love with you the day I stepped out of that truck and met you.
I am going to keep falling even more in love with you.
I don’t want to live with regrets when it comes to you.
I already have too many. I want this with you right now. Please don’t deny me.”
I lick my lips, waiting for his response. It was scary as hell to admit all of that to him, but he was right. I can trust him, and I know he won’t let me down. He won’t make me feel like a fool for feeling the way I do. With him, I am free to finally be me. I like who I am now.
“Only if you are sure. I will never deny you, but you can always deny me. This isn’t about the physical for me.
I have been in love with you for a while now because of the person I watched you blossom into.
I know you are still growing, but I want to grow together. ” He presses a soft kiss to my lips.
“I want to grow with you too, and right now? I want to experience something I have never felt before,” I tell him.
He frowns. “What is it?”
I smile at him. “An orgasm?”
He damn near chokes on his tongue. “You’ve never had one?”
I shake my head. “Outside of with you, before on the couch when I molested you, no. It never felt right. It feels right with you.”
He leans in, kissing me hard. “First of all, you didn’t molest me. Second, we are going to do this the right way then. The way you deserve.”
He kisses me again, this time slowing the kiss down.
I feel like he is making love to me with his tongue as he leaves me breathless.
My body is writhing against him as I feel the heat only he evokes in me race through my body.
My pussy is tingling, something I have never really felt it do.
It feels amazing yet torturous at the same time.
I need something, and I don’t even know how to ask for it.
I should know better, though. I don’t need to ask. Mac knows what I need because he knows me. Quickly and quietly, he removes the shirt of his I put on to sleep in, then he peels down my sleep shorts, leaving me bare.
Reaching onto the nightstand, he flips on the light.
I wince up at him, making him smile.
“Sorry. I want to see every inch of you. I want this moment seared into my brain for the rest of my life.”
His words have my heart pounding faster. I want that too. I want this moment to last forever.
Then he gets to work, kissing his way down my body. He stops and worships my breasts until my hands are tangled in his hair, my pussy damn near throbbing with the need to have something to clench around.
When he makes his way down between my legs, nerves hit me.
“What’s wrong?” he asks, looking up at me.
I let my lip fall from my teeth, now knowing that it is a tell for me.
“I’ve never done this before. No one has ever…” I trail off.
His eyes gleam. “Good. I plan to be your first and last then. You wanted an orgasm. Well, you are going to get one.”
At first, it feels weird having him between my legs, but then he hits a spot that has my toes curling. I let out a little moan, so he presses against it again with his tongue.
Soon, he is hitting all the right places, his fingers sliding easily in and out of me. My entire body feels like it is electrified. I feel like I need something more, but I don’t even know what it is. All I know is that I feel this pressure inside of me, and I need it to go away.
My orgasm hits me, making me gasp. My eyes grow blurry as I let out a long groan, my knees clamping around Mac’s head. It lasts for several seconds, Mac continuing his assault until my body grows lax.
When I look down, I see him looking up at me with a goofy smile, his face glistening with my release.
Mac.
The only man who’s ever cared about my pleasure more than his own. The only man who let me use his body to get off without asking for something in return. The guy who then showed me what it’s like to be touched, to be desired, to feel wanted. The only man who’s ever brought me to pleasure.
In this moment, I know I made the right decision.
Mac is and will always be the man for me.
Eating Jane’s pussy is going to become my favorite pastime. Feeling her body react to mine as I learned everything that made her tick was one of the most erotic things I have ever experienced in my life.
I am no saint, but things with Jane are different. I’m different with her. She isn’t just some woman to scratch an itch with. The emotions involved only heighten the pleasure. I can’t believe I did that for her.
Looking up at her, I can’t help but feel like a king.
She looks so satisfied, and it has my ego flaring to life. I love that I did that for her. I gave her the first orgasm she has ever experienced. Not only that, but I was the first to go down on her.
It makes me wonder what else that sorry piece of shit didn’t do, but I refuse to think about it now. He has no place in our bed with us.
Pushing thoughts of him away, I wipe my mouth clean before climbing up her body. Then I kiss her deeply, loving how she melts into me.
“Mac, I need more.” She looks up at me, her eyes shining.
“Call me Colin in bed. You will be the only one to call me that.” I kiss her softly.
“Your sister calls you that,” she jokes.
“Let’s leave her out of this, okay?” I give her a look.
She laughs, and I love it. I bet she has never been able to laugh like this before, especially not in bed. She has never been able to be silly or feel comfortable, yet here she is with me now feeling that.
“You want another orgasm? I could spend hours between your legs,” I tell her.
She looks away, looking embarrassed. I grab her chin softly and bring her eyes back to mine.
“Never be embarrassed by that. I liked doing it as long as you enjoyed it.”
“Oh, I did, but that’s not why I’m embarrassed,” she whispers.
“What is it then?”
“I don’t know how to ask for what I want,” she admits.
“We will work on that. Soon enough, you will be demanding everything from me, but for now, can you give me a hint?” I ask.
She purses her lips together. “I want to know what it feels like to make love to someone who loves me back.”
Damn if that didn’t hit me right in the heart. I swear, tears prick my eyes as I look down at my vulnerable girl.
“A mhuirnín, I will make love to you every day for the rest of our lives if that’s what you want,” I tell her, kissing her lips.
“That’s what I want.”
I smile, leaning up. She frowns until I reach into my nightstand.
“I want to be clear. These are stocked by the club. I haven’t been sleeping with anyone for a long while, even before you showed up.”
She smiles. “Why? I wouldn’t be mad. We didn’t even know each other.”
I pause, opening the condom as I stare down at her.
“Honestly, something felt like it was missing, like there was a hole in my life. I didn’t realize until you and the kids came blowing into town that it was a family. Your family.”
Her eyes tear up as she reaches up to cup my face.
“Then show me how you feel about me,” she whispers.
I don’t hesitate. I tear the condom open and sheath my cock, then I position it at her entrance.
I don’t push in right away, though. No, instead, I kiss her silly.
I kiss her so long I feel like I am dizzy from the lack of oxygen.
When I can barely hold back any longer, I slowly slide inside of her.
Her body opens for me willingly, accepting me in.
Sliding out, I push back in. I do this over and over until I am fully inside of her, then I pull my lips away and look down at her.
This is what the rest of my life is going to be like, and I fucking love it.
“I love you,” I whisper to her, but I don’t let her respond.
I kiss her again as I start to thrust in and out of her at a steady pace. I’m not fucking her into the bed. That’s not what she needs. Instead, I am building a bond between us one stroke at a time.
Slowly, I feel her nails against my skin as she holds me. Her body is arching against me, seeking more pressure. I pick up my pace a little, wanting to feel her orgasm around my cock—another first of hers that I can steal.
It doesn’t take too long. Her pussy flutters, then clenches around me wildly as she moans into my mouth. I swallow the sound, wanting to keep it just for me for tonight. I continue to thrust into her until I find my own release.
Pulling back from her lips, I press kisses all around her face. When her body stops clenching, I slowly pull out, taking care of the condom. Then I sit on the edge of the bed, looking over at her.
“Was it everything you hoped for?” I ask her.
I need to know that she enjoyed it. That I didn’t imagine it all. That she wanted it and will want it again. I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if she came to regret this.
She sits up, wrapping her arm around my shoulder. Then she places a quick kiss to it.
“Everything and more. I didn’t know it could feel that good. It has me thinking, though. How about we check another first off the list for me?” she asks.
Relief fills me. I am beyond glad to hear her reassure me.
I smile at her. “What did you have in mind?”
“Grab a condom and meet me in the shower.”
Fuck, I love this woman.