Chapter 16 Isabella
ISABELLA
I wake to an empty bed, not surprised that Roman didn't return after our fight.
The morning light filters through the curtains, but it might as well be dreary and gray, the true state of my world.
I move through the morning routine like a zombie. Shower, dress, brush my hair.
My reflection stares back at me, empty.
Who is this woman trapped in a marriage with a man who thinks she's manipulating him?
A woman who can't even control her own destiny?
Mrs. Rossi nods politely when I enter the kitchen. Angelica must be in her room as she doesn’t have school today. Roman is nowhere to be seen.
"Coffee, Mrs. Ginetti?" she asks.
The name feels like a chokehold. "Yes, thank you."
I take the mug to the terrace, watching the city bustle below. It’s sunny but bitter cold. Too cold, but I don’t move. It’s the one thing I can feel.
Later, I put my cup in the dishwasher and then return to the bedroom. My design supplies sit in the corner of the bedroom.
I should work on Angelica's dress, but what's the point?
I'm just playing house in a life that isn't mine.
I had one lifeline, that phone, and I surrendered it. Not because I trust Roman but because I have no other option. Not if I want to increase my chance of surviving this.
What is the endgame for me? I wonder. Even if Roman finds who killed my mother, what then? Is there ever a time when all this is over and I can be free? Or will I forever be tied to Roman, a man I might have come to love, but now that possibility is dead?
"I'm already dead," I whispered to him last night. The truth of those words settles deeper into my bones today. My body moves, breathes, but the essential part of me, my soul, that part is fading away.
Why am I fighting to survive a lifelong imprisonment with the man who is my jailor and perhaps someday, my executioner?
Mother would be heartbroken to see me like this. She wanted to save me from exactly this fate.
Married off to secure family alliances, my dreams discarded like they’re nothing.
Like I’m nothing.
“Isabella!”
Turning, I find Angelica standing in the doorway of the bedroom, her face lit up with excitement.
"Can we sew today?”
The sight of her brings on new feelings of despair. Just yesterday, I was wondering if over time I’d become more than a legal part of the Ginetti family.
A true wife to Roman.
A mother-figure to Angelica.
How foolish to think I could have a family.
"Not now, Angelica." My voice comes out flat, but I can't muster the energy to pretend. Not after last night. Not after Roman made it clear what he thinks of me.
Her smile falters. "But yesterday you said—"
"I said not now." I turn away, unable to look at her disappointed face. "Maybe another time." Although Roman won’t allow it ever again.
"You're just like all the mean stepmoms in my books!" she shouts. "Daddy was wrong about you. You don't care about me at all!"
She runs away, her small footsteps echoing down the hallway until I hear her bedroom door slam.
I close my eyes, her words like tiny knives in my heart.
I should go after her. Apologize. Try to explain that it's not her fault, that I'm just broken inside. But what would I say?
That her father thinks I'm a liar and manipulator? That I'm only here because the alternative was death? Besides, he told me to stay away from her.
My fingers twitch with the urge to reach for the phone I no longer have. My last connection to the outside world. Now I'm truly alone.
Part of me wishes I'd kept it hidden. At least then I'd have options, even if they were terrible ones.
But would Blackwood really have helped me if I'd called?
The more I think about it, the more I doubt it. He’d urge me to stay. Even when I told him I was being forced to marry Roman, his first thought was how useful my position would be.
I think back to the night he told me he would help me, but in the end, I was nearly mugged by a stranger and discovered by Roman. Where was Blackwood that night? He’d been late. Had he come at all?
Reality hits hard. I'm just another pawn to Blackwood. A convenient tool to gather information on La Corona.
He doesn't care about justice for my mother.
Roman is right about that. I've been manipulated by Blackwood just as surely as I've been controlled by my father and Roman.
The realization doesn't bring relief, just emptiness where hope used to be. I'm caught between powerful men using me for their own ends. None of them see me as a person with dreams and desires of my own.
I’m debating sketching when the doorbell rings. Mrs. Rossi's footsteps hurry across the apartment to answer it. A moment later, the space fills with high-pitched voices and excited chatter.
"Hello! We've come to play with Angelica!" A woman's cheerful voice rings through the apartment.
“Of course. I’ll let Angelica and Mrs. Ginetti know you’re here,” Mrs. Rossi tells the woman.
I wait in the bedroom wondering if Roman would want me to avoid his guests too.
“Ms. Elena Vitale is here with her children. I’d forgotten about this playdate. I hope it’s not a problem.”
I wave Mrs. Rossi’s concern away. I’m glad for it. Angelica will have something to take her mind off her evil stepmom.
“It’s fine.”
“Shall I make coffee for you and Ms. Vitale?”
God, I have to visit with her? “That would be lovely.”
“I’ll bring out those cookies I made the other day as well.”
Taking a deep breath, I step out of the bedroom and head to the foyer where I see Elena Vitale with three small children jumping around her.
"Isabella! How lovely to see you," Elena says, her smile seemingly genuine. Does she not know of my misdeeds? I know she’s close to her cousin, Don Dominic Vitale.
"Elena, what a surprise," I manage, forcing my lips into what I hope passes for a welcoming smile.
I realize that I know of all the people in La Corona’s orbit, but I don’t know them as friends. I’d attended required parties and events, but my mother never had me connect with other kids in La Corona outside of that.
I see now that was by design.
As I grew up, she always planned for me to live free of this life.
"I hope we're not intruding. The children were desperate for a playdate with Angelica." She gestures to the three faces peering up at me with curiosity. "You remember Rocco, Elio, and Adalina?"
The triplets stare at me with matching brown eyes. One of the boys, I can't tell which, hides partially behind his mother's leg.
"Of course," I lie smoothly. "How wonderful to see you all."
Angelica appears in the hallway looking sullen until she spots the triplets. Her face transforms instantly.
"Addie! Rocco! Elio!" she squeals, running toward them.
Elena turns back to me with that perfect smile.
“Mrs. Rossi is making us some coffee and a tray of cookies,” I say, motioning to the living area. “We can have them in here.”
“Wonderful.” Elena’s eyes sweep over me, assessing. "We can catch up. After all, we're family now."
Family. Is she here on Roman's orders? Or Marco's? To keep an eye on me or prevent me from running away, as if I could?
I know Roman’s men are all over this apartment building.
I lead Elena to the sofa, maintaining my polite facade. Whatever her real purpose here, I won't give her anything to report back.
Mrs. Rossi arrives and pours us coffee and serves the holiday cookies.
I sip my coffee, watching Elena arrange herself on the sofa. Her eyes never leave mine, assessing me.
“I have to admit, I wondered how marriage to Roman Ginetti would be,” she says. "I imagine it's been an adjustment."
"You could say that." I keep my tone neutral, unwilling to reveal how broken I am inside.
“I always thought you’d avoid having an arranged marriage.”
“Oh?”
She shrugs. “You just always seemed so separate from the rest of us. Don’t get me wrong,” she hurriedly says. “I didn’t think you were conceited or anything. We never became friends like the others of us have.”
“As it turns out, there is no escaping our lives.” Inwardly, I wince at my choice of words.
Her brow furrows, and I wonder what sort of tongue lashing I’m going to get from Roman over that.
“Is that what you want? To escape?”
I’ve come this far. Why not go for broke? “I’d like to live my own life. Make my own decisions in life.” I lean forward. “Wouldn’t you?”
She takes a moment, eating a bite of cookie.
“I don’t feel trapped in my life, but if I were unhappy with my lot, I would want to be able to change it.
” She sighs. “The men in these families, they have their priorities.
Loyalty to La Corona always comes first. Something like love is secondary, if it factors in at all. "
"You sound like you're speaking from experience," I say, feeling like maybe there’s more to Elena’s desires in life than she’s letting on.
“I know for women this world can feel small and suffocating, but we’re not without choices. And sometimes, we have to live with those choices.”
I can’t decide if she’s talking about me and my choice to talk to a federal agent that led me into a marriage with Roman or something about herself.
“I once thought I had love in this life. I don’t know, there’s a part of me that thinks an arranged marriage would be nice. No risk of heartbreak, right?”
If that were true, why does my heart feel broken?
"I'm sorry," I say, and I mean it.
"Don't be.” She smiles. “I’ve got my kids. Dom is like a brother to me and a father to them. I’m safe. I’m quite content, although it would be nice to have sex every now and then.”
I sputter into my coffee.
She gives me a small smile and shrugs. “Surely, even arranged marriages have sex.”
I’m now very curious about her situation. She’s never been married but has three children, indicating she had sex without marriage, a no-no for women in my world.
Who is the father of her children? Is he dead, killed by her father or Dominic?