Chapter 31
thirty-one
. . .
River
There was a knock on my office door, and I shouted for Cassie to come in. I was having a shit day. Hell, I was having a shit week. It had been four nights that I’d slept alone in my bed, and I didn’t fucking like it.
It used to be my favorite place.
Quiet and serene.
And now it felt cold and lonely.
I didn’t get lonely. I’d always thrived on being alone. Pitied the fuckers who couldn’t handle being by themselves.
And here I was—a sad, fucking pussy-whipped motherfucker.
“Hey, boss,” Cassie said, and I pinched the bridge of my nose because I’d asked her no less than eight million fucking times not to call me boss. “Your grandmother is on the line, and I’m going to head out. It’s late. You should think about leaving soon, too,” Cassie said.
“Have a good night,” was all I said.
“Are you okay?” she asked. “You seem a little grumpier than usual.”
“I’m fine.” I nodded. She turned to leave, and I realized I’d been a real dick lately, and she hadn’t let anyone in without an appointment in more than three weeks. “Hey, Cassie.”
“Yeah?” She turned around to face me.
“You’ve done a good job not allowing people to just stop by these last few weeks. I’ve noticed, and I appreciate it.”
She smiled ridiculously big. Had I never complimented her?
“Well, Ruby gave me a tip on how to stop letting people walk all over me regarding the appointments when she brought you lunch a few weeks ago.”
“What did she say?”
“She said that you’d worked really hard for your practice and that you were the best lawyer she knew. She said that with me being your assistant, I should know that and protect it so you can do your job.”
Fuck me. I did not see that coming.
“I told you to send them away dozens of times. All you had to hear was that I was good at my job?” A sarcastic chuckle left my mouth because it was ridiculous, yet my chest puffed up with pride that Ruby had gone to bat for me.
“Well, you’re always growling at me, and it makes me nervous, I guess. Ruby just said it plain as day, as if it were common knowledge. And it made sense. So, there you go.” She shrugged.
“All right. I better get this call. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
I picked up the phone. “Hey, Grammie.”
“Hello, my boy. Why are you still at work?”
“Because I’m busy,” I said.
And I don’t want to go home because all I do is think about her.
She was leaving. I’d get over it. But right now, I needed to stay busy.
“Ahhh… Ruby came by to see me yesterday. She stopped by on her way to say goodbye to the kids at Fresh Start. Have you said goodbye to her yet?”
“She hasn’t left yet, so no. And I haven’t seen her in a few days.”
“Yes, she mentioned that,” Grammie said, and I wanted to know more.
“What did she say?”
“She said that she hadn’t seen you and that maybe it was better that way because she was leaving.”
“Typical Ruby. She’s always psychoanalyzing everything.”
“I think owning it is better than denying how you feel.”
“I’ve got news for you,” I said, leaning back in my chair. “You can own it and be in denial at the same time. That girl thinks she knows everything, and she’s more in denial than I am.”
There. I said it. It was the truth.
“And what exactly is she in denial about?” she pressed, because that was my grandmother’s favorite thing to do.
“She’s running away. She likes to analyze everyone around her, but she’s afraid to look in the goddamn mirror. Afraid to admit how she feels. Not the best quality for a doctor of psychology,” I hissed.
“Spoken like a man who knows what he’s talking about. Maybe you’re in denial, too?”
I groaned. I’d set her up for this conversation, and she was going to enjoy it.
“Listen, I’m not in denial. I have always said exactly how I feel.
And I was honest with her in the beginning, but then things changed.
I haven’t said anything because I don’t want to pressure her to stay.
I want her to want to stay. I was giving her time to figure her shit out. ”
My grandmother was quiet on the other end for a moment before she finally spoke. “Sometimes, people need more. She’s not had a lot of people take care of her, River. She might not know how you feel,” she said.
“How could she not know? She’s a smart woman.” And she knows, because I’d written her a note and let her know. And then what did she do? She shut me out. I never heard from her again.
I’m sure I’d freaked her the fuck out.
“And you’re a smart man, yet you don’t seem to know how she feels. Why don’t you stop being a stubborn ass and be the one to take the first step? Just tell her how you feel. What do you have to lose?”
I ran a hand through my hair. “I did. I wrote her a note, and it clearly freaked her out.”
“Really? You wrote her a love letter? I’m impressed.”
“Well, don’t get too excited. It was a sticky note. I put it at the end of the contract so she’d see it before she signed it. Clearly, she saw it. She signed it. And she’s avoided me ever since.”
“River Pierce. Did I raise you to be a coward? You wrote it on a sticky note?”
“Hey. I put myself out there. I’m a man of few words, but at least I had the balls to say how I feel.”
“That’s not how a woman wants to hear from a man. Go down and talk to her face-to-face. Stop being a baby. You’ve never been afraid of anything. Don’t start now.”
What the hell was happening? Had everyone lost their goddamn minds lately?
“I don’t need any more advice on this. I’m good. I need to go. I’ll come see you this week.”
“I love you,” she said.
“Love you, too.”
“See, was that so difficult to say? Those three little words.” She chuckled, and I shook my head with disbelief.
“Goodbye.” I ended the call and looked down to see the group text I’d been ignoring all day going off, per usual.
I quickly caught up on all the mundane shit we talked about. Kingston and Nash went on and on about the renovation at the Silvertons’ house, and how Walter Silverton answered the door stark naked. That conversation got a bunch of endless memes and emojis. And not in a good way.
Hayes told us about a bullshit call for a fire last night from Suzie Walters who simply wanted someone to come over and change the batteries in her smoke detector.
Kingston said how hot she was and that he’d change her batteries anytime.
Normally, I’d find this shit funny, but I wasn’t in the mood today. But the next one caught my eye.
Nash
Cutler has back-to-school night next week, and he wants everyone there to meet his new teacher.
I didn’t have the heart to tell him that Ruby wouldn’t be here next week.
Are we going to do a barbecue or something before she leaves so we can all say goodbye?
You know how Cutler is. He’s going to lose his shit after she’s gone.
Kingston
I don’t think he’s the only one. Are you still being a stubborn prick, brother?
Romeo
Everyone deals with things differently. Let him work through it.
Hayes
This is going to shock the shit out of all of you…but I’m with King on this one. Stop being a dumbass and tell the girl how you feel before she leaves.
Kingston
Well, looky here. Even a blind squirrel finds his nuts every once in a while. Apparently, today is my day. Even Hayes is on my side. Come on, Golden Boy and Nash. Jump on the King train.
Romeo
You are one crazy fucker. I’m fairly certain you ruined that saying. The blind squirrel finds a NUT, not HIS NUTS. And I’m on your side, too. I want him to tell her how he feels, but I think he should do it in his own way. His own time.
Nash
Fuck. I don’t know who I’m siding with on this one. You’re all making good points.
That’s because they’re saying the same fucking thing. I get it. You want me to tell her how I feel. Do we not remember the fucking sticky note? Wasn’t that Kingston’s goddamn idea?
Hayes
I never got on board with professing your love on a sticky note.
Nash
The problem with writing it in a note, and one that is unusually small, is that you don’t know if she got it. And it’s not like you have the neatest handwriting.
Romeo
I liked the note better than King’s first idea, which was tattooing it on his chest and tearing his shirt off.
Hayes
That was definitely a little much. Most of King’s ideas suck.
Kingston
Hey, now. Un-fucking-true, you dick weasels. The tattoo was a stretch, but Ruby’s the kind of girl you go big with. The sticky note seems to have flopped, but we don’t know for sure if she saw it, right?
Of course, she fucking saw it. She had to have signed the contract by now. She’s moving in two days. She said goodbye to Grammie and the kids at Fresh Start yesterday. Obviously, she saw the note. It probably freaked her the fuck out. I should have explained it.
Kingston
How do you explain it? I love you kind of says it all, right?
Romeo
You do realize you’re taking advice from a man who’s never been in a relationship, right? No offense, King.
Hayes
That’s a very good point.
Nash
We should have killed the sticky note idea right away.
Kingston
Let’s all shoot the fucking messenger. I’m the only one getting shit done. None of you bring anything to the table.
Hayes
Romeo is proposing to his girl, so why don’t we let him throw an idea into the hat?
Kingston
Let’s hear it, Golden Boy.
Romeo
Well, you could just go down to the bar and tell her how you feel. It would be a lot easier than wondering if she got the note.
Nash
This is a better plan.
Kingston
Hindsight and all that, you judgy fuckers.
I’m done with this conversation. I’ll check back in later.
My phone continued vibrating, but I shoved it into my pocket and decided to take the goddamn bull by the horns. I’d never been afraid of anything, and I sure as shit was not afraid of Ruby Rose.
What do I have to lose at this point?