Chapter 1 #4
About twenty minutes later, I was getting off the phone with my dad and pulling up to the house where the kids were waiting on the porch.
Duke called them. Had to. Otherwise, they would have been glued to their devices.
Despite being overwhelmed and annoyed, a sense of warmth filled my body.
It was love. The kind of feeling you get only when you see your babies excited, or you hear their laughter in the distance.
“Mommy!” Screeched Sparkle, running up to the car before I could hit the brakes.
Quickly, I rolled the window down. “You know better than that! Hold on, baby!”
“Okay!” She sang, jumping up and down.
Honesty playfully hit her in the head and Spark went running after her.
Standing at the top of the porch was Gabe.
Hands stuffed into the pockets of his Nike joggers, with that infamous pursed lipped smile on his face, trying to conceal how he really felt.
Once I was parked, Aubry walked up to the car and opened its door.
“Hey girl, hey. You look cute. Refreshed,” she joked, referencing my little ‘break’, sizing me up.
“Hey Bry-Bry. I am,” I told her, lying through my teeth.
I mean, I did look cute. Refreshed? I wasn’t sure. We stayed up late, drinking and getting high. And I had on the same thing I had on the morning before.
“Good. We have to talk about my birthday,” she said, putting me to work before I could even step foot out of the car. “Grandma called me. She said she want to help and…”
Kids. They meant well and nine times out of ten had no clue as to what real struggled parents faced.
So, they often came off as inconsiderate as hell.
If I wasn’t an expert when it came to them, I might’ve gotten in my feelings, snapped, and told her I needed a minute.
But I knew better. They might’ve greeted me at the driveway with smiles, but they were stressed too.
Wondering what the hell could have happened that was so bad that I said fuck the party and stayed out all night.
Sometimes we—yes, we—forget that they are humans with wandering minds, dotted with anxiety too.
I never forgot.
I always kept them in the forefront. Yesterday, shit just got a little hazy and I was tired of putting them first. However today would be different. Today, I planned to pretend I was okay, just to take how they felt into consideration.
“I missed you mommy!” Sparkle yelled crashing into me, wrapping her arms around me.
“We missed you mommy,” Duke chimed in, walking up wearing a smile.
Gabe coughed and draped his arm over my shoulder. “Guess what I did ma?”
I didn’t know what that was about. Did I give a damn?
Nope! Baby boy wasn’t really a baby boy anymore and he knew there was trouble.
He witnessed us first-hand the night before I decided to stay out.
He was entitled to his feelings. But when the smoke cleared a little, I was going to have a one-on-one conversation with him about respect.
It was imperative and the one thing I did not play about.
What Duke and I had going on was what Duke and I had going on.
Grown folks business. And while I respected my sons feelings, he had to know that disrespect would never be tolerated. I wasn’t one of them!
I leaned my head on his shoulder, as we walked up to the house. “Cleaned your room?”
He laughed. “Nope. Cleaned the house.”
Aubry sucked her teeth. “For real?”
He rolled his neck a little, with a slight pout. “Alright, alright… we cleaned the house.”
“All he did was take the trash out and wash the dishes! Me and Honesty did the most work.”
I laughed and before I could say something, Sparkle said, “I helped too!”
“You wiped one table off!” Honesty yelled. “That ain’t nothin!”
“That is something! Mommy, is that something!?” Sparkle pouted.
I draped my arm over her shoulder, pulling her closer. “Yeah baby, that’s plenty.” Cutting my eyes at Honesty, I joked, “You better leave my baby alone. She put in work too.”
Gabe left my side to open the door for me and I smiled.
Sometimes life got heavy, and I wanted to run away from them.
Sometimes I was riddled with regret and what ifs but anytime we were like this?
Engulfed in each other’s love? I was filled with a sense of completion and love I know I would have never experienced without them. My fantastic four.
As soon as I walked in, I was greeted by a plethora of balloons.
Gold, black, silver, and a few pale pink.
The foyer was decorated with birthday decorations.
Hanging on the archway was a huge Happy Birthday Mahogany banner, adorned by tassels.
There were spiraled decorations hanging from the ceiling too.
It was beautiful. So beautiful that it brought tears to my eyes.
“Happy late birthday mommy!” Sparkle yelled, jumping up and down, her colorful hair beads clinking together with every jump.
“Birthday 2.0 for queen momma!” Honesty said, dancing around.
Yes, my birthday was yesterday but I was very surprised. Like… very. There were about ten gift bags waiting for me to dig into too.
“Happy birthday, mommy,” Duke whispered in my ear, walking up from behind before placing a kiss on the side of my neck.
Bitch nigga.
Yes, bitch nigga.
He’d only done that because he knew with the kids around, I would never snap on him. Especially not in this setting. He took advantage and to be honest, I couldn’t even blame him. If I was a ho ass nigga, I would have done the same thing. I cut my eyes at him, sighed and said thank you.
He took my bag from me and hung it on the coatrack while Aubry grabbed one of the gift bags handing it to me.
I giggled and said, “Birthday 2.0. I like that baby. Thanks, y’all! This is beautiful!”
“This one is from me!” She exclaimed. “Open it first because it’s the best gift out of all of them,” she gloated, popping her lips after.
I laughed and sat on the foyer bench. “Thank you Bry-Bry.”
“No! Momma! Open the big one first; it’s from all of us!” Harmony argued. “Always doin’ too much!”
Aubry sucked her teeth. “Girl, shut up. I was just—
“Hey, hey, hey!” Duke shouted, shutting the both of them up before it could be a shouting match. “Let mommy open her gifts the way she wants to. Aubry, she’ll get to yours when she gets to it, if she wants to wait.”
“Spark, baby, hand me the big one from all of you,” I told her, both overwhelmed and overjoyed.
I didn’t expect my day to go like this.
None of it. From cutting a deal with both Judah and Armani suit, to walking into the house to this.
Duke popping up at my job wasn’t that much of a surprise.
Annoying and disrespectful, hell yeah but very Duke coded.
When he felt me slipping through his fingers was the only time he applied pressure.
As pissed off as I was with him, this was a very nice surprise.
Almost made me regret missing the party last night.
Sparkle sat the bag on my lap and before I could dig in, Gabe said, “Dad got you a—“
“Really?” I interrupted with wide eyes.
He laughed with his hands up. “I was just going to say he got you a really nice gift, ma, dang.”
With a squint, I twisted my lips up. “Mmhmm.”
Gabriel played a lot. Too much sometimes.
He knew how I was about surprises—I loved them.
So, I wasn’t caught off guard by him trying to prank me into thinking he’d ruin it for me.
I wasn’t taking any chances though. Couldn’t with his petty ass.
He was so much like my baby sister that it was unsettling sometimes.
How I could have my sister's child was baffling to me.
She was the same way. An unfiltered asshole that played entirely too much.
I rummaged through the bag before I even took my shoes off.
After tossing the tissue paper aside, I retrieved a happy birthday card.
When I opened it, two gift cards fell into my lap.
One for a spa day, and another for Delta Airlines.
Once I saw that there was a handwritten message from all three of them in it, I gave them looks of gratitude with tears in my eyes.
Sparkle’s was nothing more than chicken scratch.
Looked like somebody had held her hand, guiding her to write ‘Happy birthday mommy, I love you.’ Gabriel’s was short and simple: Happy birthday Queen, I love you.
Honesty’s was the same way, except she called me the best mother in the whole wide world.
Aubry’s was very much teenaged girl coded: ‘Happy thirty-fourth birthday to the baddest that don’t look a day over twenty-five.
I love you bestie!’ I giggled and shook my head, as I moved on to Duke’s little message.
Well… it wasn’t a little message. It was long and took up the most space.
Happiest birthday to the best wife a man could ever ask for.
I’m very grateful to have met you all of those years ago.
A nigga for sure hit the jackpot with that one.
I hope you know how much of a blessing its been for me to experience nineteen birthdays with you, watchin you grow into the beautiful hardworkin woman you are. I love you NeNe. To many more!
By the time I got to the end of his message, my face was drenched with tears.
I looked up at him, smiled, and told him I loved him too before telling the kids the same.
I meant it. I did love Duke. I loved him more than I both cared to admit and expressed.
The type of love that made my heart ache for more reasons than one.
But today… after he’d just pissed me the fuck off…
it ached because I loved him so much and we were…
it was rocky. Loving someone through the tough times hurt like hell.
With a sigh, I reached inside of the box and gasped at the orange box.
“I know you fuckin’ lyin!” I yelled. “Duke—”
“Mannn,” he said with a laugh. “Gon and open the box, woman.”
“How did you—”
“Didn’t I just tell you to open the box?” He interrupted, wearing a smirk.
“Open it! Open it!” Honesty cheered, egging Sparkle on.
I was too overwhelmed to open it. An orange box…
my first orange box. Probably the only orange box I would ever get.
I stared up at Duke with tears running from my eyes, and my head tilted over to the side.
A Birkin. He made good ass money. We had a nice amount of money saved up, as well as retirement plans and such but a Birkin? It was too much. I—I was speechless.
“If you don’t open it, I will sis,” Aubry said with her hands out.
“You deserve it,” Duke said with a head nod, reading my mind.
Did I think I deserved nice things? Of course.
But a bag that cost five figures? Come on now.
We had four kids, a mortgage and car notes.
Shit, I could easily think of five places five figures could’ve gone.
But! I was grateful. Immensely. Because if Duke got me a Birkin he didn’t just go out and grab it—he saved for it.
He was like that. A planner. Thoughtful and very observant.
A Birkin bag had been on my vision board for the last three years.
Finally, I took a deep breath and undid the black ribbon to open the box. Aubry, with her phone out recording, wore the biggest smile. She knew what a Birkin was—the other three? Not so much.
I cut my eyes at her. “Don’t think for one second you gon’ be taking my bag annnnywhere,” I warned, as I lifted the lid. “You can’t even touch it!”
“I’m already hip. I already know,” she said with a laugh. “I wouldn’t let you wear mine neither boo.”
We laughed and I reached into the duster bag to pull it out. I gasped, realizing that he didn’t just get me a Birkin—he got me thee Birkin. The one that’d been on my vision board. Black with gold hardware. It was breathtaking. He really did pay attention.
“Ducaaaati,” I cried with my bottom lip poked out.
What did he do earlier? Why was I mad at him, again? Suddenly, what and why didn’t seem as important. If I wasn’t joking, I would have led him straight upstairs to give him the best head he’d ever gotten in his life.
He walked over and planted a kiss on my forehead. “You deserve the fuckin world but I figured a Birkin would do, right?”
“Hell yeah!” I said, lifting my bag, examining it. “Nobody touches mommy’s bag, okay?”
“We know,” they said in unison.
“Dad gave us a long lecture when he got it. I don’t know why I had to be a part of it. I don’t wear no purse,” Gabe said.
We laughed and my eye caught Duke’s. He placed his hand over his chest and mouthed ‘I’m sorry’. I just nodded, ready to throw the white flag in just for the sake of enjoying my day. With my family. Happy Hour would have to wait. Birthday 2.0 was shaping up to be pretty decent.