Chapter 15
DUKE
“I appreciate it man, thanks,” I said to the transportation guy at the hospital, helping me stand.
He nodded. “No problem. Take care of yourself, sir.”
Nodding, I struggled to get in the car. Once I did, Mahogany took a deep breath, looked over at me and said, “Put your seatbelt on.”
With gritted teeth, I grunted and reached over to put it on. She could’ve helped. Would have been nice to have her help me with something during this time. She hadn’t done anything but treat a nigga like shit during this whole ordeal.
I fucked up. Got into a car accident the other day when I was rushing to find her ass.
Broke my arm and two of my ribs. I had a minor concussion, too.
Could have died behind the wheel of my truck.
Think she gave a fuck? Hell naw. You’d think something like that would have brought us closer—it didn’t.
My calls still went unanswered. She’d only been down here twice.
Once when it first happened and again only to bring the kids to see me.
She wouldn’t have done that if I hadn’t asked her to.
A nigga felt low.
Lower than I felt before. I needed my wife.
I was fucked up out here. I could barely do anything for myself.
I had to rely on hospital staff when I should have been relying on my wife.
She wasn’t fucking with me though. And to me…
that meant it was over for real. She didn’t want to help me at my lowest point.
Couldn’t look past what happened just for a moment.
Wouldn’t give me more than five minutes over the phone.
She felt cold. Mahogany tended to feel chilly but never ice cold.
“How was work?” I asked, breaking the silence, as she pulled away from the hospital.
“Work,” she flatly replied.
I nodded. “You got any new clients?”
“No.”
“How are things going with that big project you were worried about that time?”
“Good.”
I laughed. “Oh… alright.”
She didn’t want to talk. It was obvious.
I didn’t stop trying though. Not only because I wanted a conversation up out of her but because I missed the sound of her voice too.
It didn’t matter that she was giving me one worded answers.
Didn’t matter that she didn’t seem thrilled at all about grabbing me.
I just wanted to hear her. She might’ve been icy cold but I was grateful to feel her at all.
That time without her in my life was hell.
I didn’t want to go through that again. I knew, based on where we stood today, that the chances of me going through that for the remainder of my life were greater than not.
Pain hit me in the middle of my chest when I thought about it.
I swallowed and stared over at her. Her eyebrows were pinched into a frown. Her beautiful face flat and emotionless as she stared straight ahead, ignoring what I knew she could feel. My eyes on her. She stopped at a red light, scratched at her head and took a deep breath.
“You look beautiful today,” I complimented.
She did. She had braids and wore them up in a bun on top of her head.
She had on a little bit of makeup, and her lips were glossy as hell.
I wondered if she’d put some on before I came down.
I wondered if she got her lips ready for me.
Hope and delusion said she sat in the car, flipped her sun visor down, and spruced herself up before I came down.
Rushed, even. Because she missed me. Because she missed my eyes on her and compliments.
I hoped that was the case. My gut told me otherwise though.
That pain in my chest, a constant reminder of reality.
“Thank you, Ducati,” she said before turning the music up louder.
She was on her R&B shit. Playing Summer Walker’s, Heart of a Woman, slowly bobbing her head to the beat.
Lowering my eyes to her lips, I watched as she silently mouthed the words.
The corners of her mouth turned up a little before she pulled off from the green light.
I chewed on my bottom lip, listening to the lyrics, tempted to reach over and change it.
She was delivering a message through the music and I didn’t like it.
Shit didn’t help the situation we were in.
Instead of changing it, I turned it down.
“I’m happy as hell to be out the ‘spital. Bed was uncomfortable as hell.”
“The blow up mattress in the basement won’t be much better,” she said, cutting her eyes at me.
“Mahogany—”
“What nigga? You not sleeping with me. I don’t know what the fuck you think this is,” she snapped. “As soon as you get better you gotta go.”
“What we gone tell the kids? Hm? Can’t keep telling them I’m at work—”
She laughed, looked at me with this frown, turned away and shook her head. “We’re going to tell them the truth—that’s what we’re going to do. What are you even talking about?”
I clenched down on my teeth, brushed my hand over the top of my head, and looked over at her. “You serious?”
“Duh. This is serious, Duke. I really don’t understand why you’re acing clueless like you didn’t have a whole ass baby on me. The fuck?”
I took a deep breath and shook my head. “You pulling this right now? After I get out of the hospital? You couldn’t let shit ride? Like… wait—”
“Wait for what? You just implied that you’ll be sleeping in my bed, which you won’t be. I can’t have you thinking shit smooth. We’re cool, but we ain’t ‘Mahogany’s delusional because I got into an accident’ cool, nigga.”
“You trippin on me for no reason. I—Ne, the shit happened years ago.”
“Whoopty fuckin’ doo!” She yelled. “Still happened. It don’t matter.”
“None of what I said matters, Mahogany? You… we got past that. The cheating—”
“Did we? Did we really get past it?” She interrupted.
“Yeah we did. Because you forgave me. How you punishing me for something I did years ago? I been good. We been—shit we been alright. I didn’t just go out fuck a bitch and get her pregnant Mahogany.
The shit happened in the past. I’m just finding out about it like you.
Damn, give a nigga a break. I didn’t hide it from you—”
“Yes, the fuck you did.” She took a deep breath and made a sharp turn. “Leave me alone. All you need to know is that you will be sleeping in that mancave—’
“I’m not sleepin in that fuckin’ mancave. Fuck I look like? Sleeping on a low ass blow up mattress and my ribs still fucked up? I’m sleepin in the bed. Build a fort around yourself or some shit if you don’t want a nigga around you.”
Hell naw I wasn’t sleeping in that fuckin’ mancave.
I was serious. If she wanted to start some shit because I needed to sleep in my bed, then so be it.
I was maneuvering through accepting the fact that she didn’t want to talk to me or resolve anything, but I couldn’t be cool with that.
It wasn’t just because I missed sleeping with my wife either.
I legit couldn’t sleep on that low ass, uncomfortable ass mattress.
I didn’t give a fuck about what she was talking about.
She didn’t say anything. Just took a deep breath and turned the music back up.
Beyonce emanated from the speakers, singing about not being sorry.
I knew then that she didn’t put on lip-gloss for me.
She didn’t spruce herself up for me. None of that shit.
But what she did do was get a playlist ready for me.
“Middle fingers up! I ain’t thinkin ‘bout you!” She yelled.
I cut my eyes at her, shook my head, and looked straight ahead, quiet for the rest of the ride to the crib.
“Daddy!” Shrieked Sparkle when I walked into the house.
She ran up to me and hesitated, stopping herself from jumping up on me.
I leaned down a little and kissed her on the top of her head. “Wassup baby girl,” I said with a grunt.
She giggled. “Hey daddy! Your arm okay?”
“It’s getting there, baby,” I said with a deep breath.
Mahogany brushed by me with her head down, her attention on her phone. I watched her until Aubry and Gabe came into view. I tossed my arm over Aubry’s shoulder and dropped a kiss on the top of her head. “Wassup daughter?”
“Hey daddy,” she said. “You okay?”
“Okay enough.” I said before chucking my chin at Gabe, pulling my arm from around Aubry to drape it over Gabe.
With furrowed brows, he nodded back at me. “Wassup dad?”
“Wassup with you? You alright?” I asked, noticing how cold he felt.
He nodded. “Yeah, I’m good.”
He pulled away from my embrace and walked off, similar to the way his mother had.
With his head down, and his attention on his phone.
I already knew what was up with him. Really didn’t need to think too deep into it.
He still had a chip on his shoulder toward me because of the night NeNe and I got into it.
Seeing that he’d witnessed us at it more than one time, it was going to take him a minute to let that go.
Shit was escalated. As a man I understood where he came from.
His ma and his pops were at it. Of course he was going to take his mother’s side.
I wasn’t going to ridicule him for it though.
Fuck it. He’d move past it eventually. Or so I hoped.
When the shit hit the fan, things would only get worse, I was sure of that.
A couple of seconds later, Honesty ran up with something in her hand.
“Hey dad! Look at what I made for you!” She yelled, showing me a canvas. It read ‘Get Well Soon, Dad. I love you’, with a painting of two stick people I assumed was the two of us.
I kissed her on the top of her head and took it from her. “Thanks baby girl. This is beautiful. When you make it?”
We carried on like that for a good five minutes, with my girls pouring love into me.
I didn’t know where Mahogany went off to.
Figured Gabe went up to his room. It didn’t matter.
Nah, I lied. It did matter. It felt good, being poured in by my girls, but I would have loved to get the same type of treatment from Mahogany and Gabe.