Chapter 31
MAHOGANY
“Back at it again, huh?” Asked Sienna, standing at my closet with me.
Today it was just the two of us and we were once again, in my bedroom, trying to find me something to wear.
I had a date. A first date that technically wasn’t really a first date since we did have brunch once before.
It was with Crescent. Yes, Crescent fucking Carter.
Which was crazy because after seeing him with ol’ girl my mood was shitty.
So shitty that I didn’t stay for too long.
I finished my drink and headed out. However, before I could make it to my car, he was on me.
I was hesitant at first because I felt some type of way.
I was short with him and everything, but he wouldn’t let up.
My mood didn’t shift until he told me who the girl he was with was.
Nova’s mother. In that moment, I couldn’t be upset.
I especially let it go when he told me he needed me.
Crescent all but professed his love. While he talked, I took it all in, trying to control my emotions.
We went from talking in the parking lot to leaving the venue before the party ended, to go to his house.
There, we talked more and he was open about the way he felt.
Told me he was nervous about us but ultimately didn’t give a fuck because he needed me in his life.
I told him I needed him in mine too and we ended up going three rounds.
I didn’t get home until five this morning.
“Girl, yes. I really don’t know what to wear now.”
Sienna fingered through my clothes and stopped at a black bodysuit that had lace in it. Pulling it out of the closet, she showed it to me. “I know you have a black skirt.”
With that, she tossed the body suit on the bed and went back to sifting through my closet. Just as she was about to pass a black spandex mini skirt, I stopped her and grabbed it out, tossing it on the bed next to the body suit.
“See how easy that was?” She asked, standing next to me, at the bed, looking down at it.
I bit my thumbnail and looked over at her. “You don’t think it’s too… much?”
“For you? Hell no. Where are y’all going?”
I shrugged. “I don’t know. He just told me to be ready at seven.”
She smiled. “Ohhh a surprise. I like, I like. Well… did he give you any context at all?”
“Told me to dress as sexy as I am,” I said, blushing.
She drew back with raised brows. “Okaaay. I like him. Well shit, there you have it. That’s very fuckin’ sexy. It screams sex, for real. All you need to do is pair it with a pair of bad ass heels, some gold accessories, and a colorful bag to bring it all together.”
I twisted my lips up. “You know I’m coming black bag.”
She shrugged. “Shit, that works too.”
I took a deep breath and paired the outfit together, looking at it before moving back over to the closet to grab my shoes and my black and gold Coach Tabby.
After tossing a few pieces of gold jewelry on top of everything, I was satisfied.
The outfit was perfect. I just wished I knew where we were going.
Because he wanted me ready at seven and told me to dress sexy, I knew it had to be dinner.
He was going all out. Told me he didn’t want me to drive and that he was sending a car too.
I’d been giddy as hell all day, waiting for the moment.
Picking my phone up, I saw that it was almost six.
I had a nice amount of time to finish getting ready.
I’d already showered and just needed to do my makeup since my hair was already done.
I was going to wear it the same way I wore it yesterday—down, cascading over my shoulder.
Sienna looked over at me with a smile. “How you feel?”
“Girl,” I breathed out. “Nervous as hell. I don’t know what it is about this nigga but… man.”
“He’s your first,” she said.
“My first?”
“The first after Duke.” She waved me off. “That shit at Pandora’s don’t even count. This is real. This is tangible. You haven’t stepped out with a man besides Duke in… never, shit. Of course you’re nervous.”
She was right. That had to be where all of the nerves came from.
Crescent was my first. And to be honest, I was still nervous about the whole dating thing.
We had a nice talk last night and he said he was willing to take it slow but still.
What if I wasn’t ready? What if I was jumping into something new, too soon?
I mean, it was only a date. Maybe I was overthinking.
But then again, that’s what I did—overthought. I needed to relax.
With a shaky hand, I grabbed my glass of wine from the dresser and took a sip of it. Everything was going to be okay. I couldn’t go into tonight with a racing mind.
“Just have fun, okay?” Sienna said, taking a sip of her wine too.
I was glad she was here. I called and told her about the date last night.
I told all of them. But this morning, I hit her up and told her I wanted her to come over and help me get ready.
It wasn’t that I didn’t vibe with Hazel and Naoki, it was just that I needed calm.
I didn’t want to have music playing and shit talking going on.
I didn’t want to make this a ‘girls night’ thing.
I wanted it to be laidback. And mainly it was because I didn’t want to be vulnerable around the other two.
Since Sienna had seen me at my lowest, it was easy for me to show her just how nervous I was about this first date.
“I will,” I said with a sigh. “Let me finish getting ready. You want to do my makeup?”
After about an hour, I was dressed and ready to go.
On my way down the stairs, I heard the kids walk in.
And Duke was with them. I heard his deep voice first. For some reason, I was a little apprehensive about walking down the stairs.
I stopped at the third one and my heart rate picked up a bit.
The crazy thing about it wasn’t that I was nervous because I didn’t want Duke to see me—I didn’t want the kids to see me.
I know, I know. I had to move on eventually, but this would be my first date since the divorce, and I felt a little weird.
“What’s wrong?” Sienna asked. “Don’t be nervous—
“It’s not that,” I interrupted, looking down at myself at the outfit I had on. “It’s the kids. I was hoping to be gone before they got back.”
She sucked her teeth. “Girl…”
“Don’t girl me,” I snapped a little. “You just don’t get it. Remember… this is new, Si.”
“You right, you right. I’m sorry,” she said before placing her hand on my shoulder. “Look at it like this… You were going to move on eventually someday, right? This is just a Band-Aid you’re going to have to rip off. Delaying it won’t hurt nobody but you.”
She was right. I spent many years—hell, my whole life really—considering everyone’s feelings but my own.
It was time to put an end to that. There was no turning back.
I was dressed and on my way out of the door.
I couldn’t let my kids showing up stop that.
Who was I kidding? It wasn’t just about the kids.
It was about him too. Now, I didn't give a damn about Duke. He could do whatever he wanted to do, to whoever and I wouldn’t bat a damn eyelash.
It was just… a little awkward. My ex-husband seeing me on my way out on a date.
When the kids asked where I was going what was I supposed to say?
I couldn’t say I was going with Sienna. She was here but her ass had on leggings, one of her Utopia sweatshirts and a pair of gym shoes.
She didn’t look like she was going out, at all.
The days of me lying about where I was going were over though.
I was living authentically in my truth. Lying and hiding didn’t fit into my life anymore.
“Mommy!” Yelled Sparkle before I heard her running for the stairs.
I swallowed and took a deep breath before nodding. I had to rip the Band-Aid off. I continued down the stairs and caught her at the bottom. She threw her arms around me and showered me with kisses.
“Hi mommy! I missed you!” She yelled, jumping on me.
I grunted, picked her up and propped her up on my hip. “I missed you too, baby. You had fun?”
“Yessss! We went to Urban Air and the movies!” She excitedly told me, before playing with my gold, hoop earrings. “Hi Tee-Tee!”
“Hey boo. You had fun, huh?” Sienna asked, as we continued through the hallway, heading towards the kitchen where everyone else was.
Although I was ready to rip the Band-Aid off, my heart raced.
Sparkle didn’t ask where I was going, but the other three for sure would.
I could just see it now, there little eyes sweeping over mommy’s sexy outfit, face full of confusion.
If the outfit wasn’t a clear giveaway my makeup, hair and jewelry sure would be.
God, Mahogany, relax. You’re going on a damn date.
It’s not like you’re on your way to the courthouse to get married.
With another deep breath, I turned the corner into the kitchen.
As soon as I did, Duke’s eyes swept over me.
The other kids were so busy rummaging through their overnight bags, and the refrigerator that they didn’t even notice me walk into the kitchen.
“Hey,” Duke said, his voice a little choked up.
I smiled. “Hey.”
With his eyes steady on me, he spoke to Sienna. It was awkward as hell. He knew I was about to go out on a date. I could feel it in the way he looked at me. Initially his eyebrows were raised, caught off guard by my appearance and then they furrowed and he uncomfortably looked away.
“Ma—” said Honesty, turning around. She was caught off guard by my clothes too. With dipped brows, she continued. “You look pretty.”
“Thank you baby,” I said with a smile, before tickling Sparkle who went into a fit of laughter.
“Okay, period,” said Aubry, looking up from her bag. She tapped her index finger against her thumb. “Where you about to go? Hey Tee-Tee.”
“Hey girl, hey,” said Sienna.