14. Sawyer
SAWYER
Beckett guided me toward the only shiny black Mercedes in the parking lot.
From the moment we stepped outside of Frank’s, his hand had been delicately grazing the small of my back.
I should have stopped him. That didn’t seem like something a friend would do, but it made me surprisingly giddy knowing how hard he was trying to keep his hands to himself.
And what did I know? I didn’t have many friends to begin with.
It wasn’t like I was entirely blameless, either.
No matter how hard I told myself it wasn’t a date, I had very much been treating it like a date all day. I’d practically been giddy jumping out of bed this morning. Then I went through my list of reasons why it was a monumentally bad idea to think like that.
Thankfully, the fact that I couldn’t fit in anything made it so much easier to treat this as a dinner with a friend than the date it absolutely wasn’t.
To Olivia’s credit, she had overnighted me a couple of basic pieces that would get me through until we could go shopping, but none of them had been incredibly sexy.
I settled on a basic green T-Shirt dress with white sneakers.
The weather was still nice. It wouldn’t be long until I couldn’t wear this dress anymore.
Plus, it hid my growing belly so I wouldn’t have to answer any difficult questions before choking down an uncomfortable meal.
“I see your taste in cars hasn’t changed much,” I mused as we neared Beckett’s vehicle. “Does this one meet your standards?”
“I don’t like to be predictable, but it is what it is. At least this one is bigger. I felt like I was suffocating in that tiny ass car,” he said, laughing.
I glanced at him over my shoulder, trying my hardest to keep a straight face. “You did look a little ridiculous in it.”
Beckett’s fingers tugged at the fabric of my dress, pulling me to a stop just shy of his car. His hand never left my waist as he stepped into my line of sight. “You know what’s ridiculous?” he asked, lifting the corner of his lips in a smirk.
“What’s that?”
My breath caught as he leaned in, reaching behind me until he grasped the handle and tugged. The door swung open against my ass, and I stumbled forward in surprise.
Right into his arms.
My hands landed against his chest as his hands landed on my waist. I could barely breathe, unable to think about anything other than what he’d find if he’d decided to slide his hands over my stomach.
He was all smiles and sunshine as he stared down at me.
His gaze swept across my face as his hold on me tightened.
“Pretending I’m not dying to kiss you right now. ”
“Beckett—” Alarm bells pealed as I tried to focus on the man in front of me. My brain was dangerously close to short-circuiting at our proximity. I could smell his cologne on his clothes and the mint from his gum with every short, staccato breath we shared. “Friends, remember? Friends don’t kiss.”
And then it was gone. All of his warmth and comfort evaporated as he untangled us and stepped back, gesturing toward the door he just opened. “You’re right. Hungry?”
I hadn’t been five minutes ago. My stomach was tied in little knots that refused to come loose. But now I was ravenous.
Only, it wasn’t for food.
We pulled up to the only chain restaurant in Pinecrest. Beckett grimaced as he got out of his car. I followed suit and opened my door, only to find him standing in front of me with his hand outstretched.
The bright Chili’s sign casting an ominous red glow around Beckett’s silhouette was almost more than I could take. He looked so out of place here. Had the man ever experienced the religious experience that came with ordering a triple dipper? My money was on no.
“Chili’s, huh?” I asked, hiding my smile as he shifted on his feet. Thank god the smell of the food here hadn’t sent me running for the bathroom yet. At least I didn’t have to worry about him taking me to Pete’s Catfish and Grits.
Now that would’ve had me locking the door and refusing to get out.
“Limited options,” he grumbled. “I had half a mind to drive you to Nashville for some halfway decent restaurants, but figured that might get me in trouble.”
“There’s nothing wrong with a little small town comfort. You may even like it.”
He looked skeptically up at the sign. “Never say never, I suppose.”
I stepped out of the car. “We’ll have to grab breakfast at Lucy’s Diner sometime. You’ll love it.”
“I’ll add it to our bucket list,” he said, smiling.
Again, his hand found the small of my back.
And again… I didn’t stop him.
There were a million reasons why I should, mostly a selfish desire to protect my own heart when this perfect bubble of ours burst at the end of the night.
Beckett was here for work. He wasn’t packing his bags and moving to Pinecrest, nor would he be staying when whatever job he was working on was done.
There was a part of me that wanted to throw caution to the wind and indulge just one more time. I’d done nothing but dream of the way his kiss had me damn near levitating out of my body or how his touch made me see stars. Being so close and telling him to keep his hands to himself was torture.
But the alternative would kill me.
I needed to keep that in mind. No matter how panty-melting his smile or dazzling his charm… Beckett Montgomery needed to stay firmly in the friend zone.
It wasn’t until we were walking into the restaurant that I realized my mistake.
All eyes gravitated toward us when we walked in, whether intentional or not.
My skin began to crawl as folks’ interested gazes lingered for a beat too long before flicking away.
Most of the people in here were the same Nosy Nellies who had been repeatedly asking who the father of my baby was.
And now, here I was, showing up with a random handsome stranger.
Fuck. My. Life.
“You okay?” Beckett asked, running his large hand along my back. “Cold?”
I wasn’t, but I nodded anyway. He immediately shrugged out of his jacket and placed it over my shoulders. Then, with an incredibly gentle hand, he helped pull my hair free from where it was trapped while I stupidly stood there and stared at him.
If I thought his cologne was overwhelming before, it was suffocating now. I was dizzy with the need to imprint his scent to memory. It was clean and masculine, like the smell of double-barrelled bourbon in Kentucky on a warm summer’s day.
How frowned upon would it be to never give this back? Asking for a friend.
I blamed the overly horny and hormonal version of myself that didn’t understand anything other than the need to satisfy certain urges, rather than the rational Sawyer I’d become.
“Well, wasn’t that sweet?” the bottle-blonde hostess cooed as she stepped forward. I tore my eyes from Beckett and tugged his jacket tighter. Her jeans were painted on, hugging every curve. Or at least, they would’ve if she had any curves. “How many are joining y’all?”
“Just the two of us,” Beckett answered. He stepped up beside me as the young girl showed us to a booth at the back of the restaurant, all the while sending flirty little glances to Beckett as often as she could.
There were plenty of tables closer to the door, but I wondered if she walked us as far away as she could just so she’d have an opportunity to shake her ass in his face.
I wasn’t sure why I felt a surge of possessive jealousy toward a man I’d been trying to firmly place in the no-fly zone, but it needed to go away. I could not, under any circumstances, let her actions make me lose my cool.
“Is this booth okay?” she asked, putting a bit more twang in her voice than moments ago. That was saying something since she could’ve been mistaken for Dolly Parton if you closed your eyes and disbanded reality for a moment.
“It’s great. Thank you,” Beckett said. He paid her no mind as he held his hand out for me to scoot in, before taking the bench across the table.
She slowly placed both menus on his side and gave him a toothy grin. “Patty will be your waitress today, but if you need anything, let me know.”
I rolled my eyes and scoffed. The innuendo was not lost on me in the slightest. Even though this wasn’t a date—and I was still adamant about that—she didn’t know that.
To flirt with Beckett in front of me was so rude.
And any man who’d reciprocate that while on a date with someone else wasn’t worth the energy it took to tell him goodbye. Save your breath, babe.
Thankfully, I didn’t have that problem with my friend.
When Beckett took the menu and passed it toward me instead of acknowledging her, she snapped her mouth shut and slowly walked away. She swung her hips as she went, as though he might magically sense that she was putting on a show for him and turn around to watch.
“Well, she’s going to spit in my food, for sure,” I said, sighing and opening the menu.
Beckett’s lips twitched as he did the same. “I’m sure that’s not true.”
“Do your eyes not work? She was staring at you like you were a piece of meat.”
I could feel his gaze boring into me as he lowered his menu and leaned across the table.
“They work,” he said, watching carefully as I grabbed my glass and brought it to my lips.
On instinct, my thighs squeezed together as flashbacks of that night played in my mind.
I’d seen that look in his eyes when he saw me naked for the first time.
Just like then, the full weight of his attention was going to crush me.
“I was just too busy staring at someone else to notice her.”
Water trickled out of my mouth as I choked on the sip I’d just taken.
God, help me. I never stood a chance, did I?
This dinner had just started, and we were already veering into dangerous territory.
To make matters worse, Beckett was clearly pleased with himself as he grabbed a napkin and slid it over to me with a shit-eating grin.
“You can’t just say things like that,” I hissed, dabbing at the moisture on my chest.
“Why not?” he asked, shrugging. “It’s the truth. I couldn’t even pick the girl out of a lineup.”
My cheeks flushed with embarrassment as I turned my attention back to the menu. “Now, you’re being ridiculous.” Beckett sighed and plucked it from my fingers. “Hey! Give that back.”
He shook his head. “So you can hide? Absolutely not. Listen to me, Sawyer. You are gorgeous. You outshine any woman here ten times over. When I say I only have eyes for you, that’s what I mean.
” I opened my mouth to protest, because he absolutely could not feel that way, but Beckett barrelled through without stopping.
“And you may call that ridiculous, but I don’t. I call it knowing what I want.”
His words should have calmed me. After all, that was exactly what I’d always hoped for, wasn’t it?
I mean, at the end of the day, I wanted to be wanted.
Especially by him. But I couldn’t help feeling like a fraud.
This dinner was supposed to be a chance to come clean and hope we could find a way to navigate this little situation we’d gotten ourselves in, not dive deeper into something we had no business exploring.
I should’ve told him sooner. I should’ve been up front before ever agreeing to go out on this stupid dinner with him.
Closing my eyes, I sucked in a breath. “Beckett, I need to tell you something.”
“There’s nothing you need to tell me. I know you don’t think I’m capable of a mature, romantic relationship, but—”
I was going to throw up. “Beckett, please stop talking.”
“—I’ll be your friend if that’s what you need, but you should know I’d like to be more if you feel like giving me a—”
Patty stepped up to the table, a wide smile spread across her face, and her eyes flicked between Beckett and me. “Sawyer! It’s so good to see you out and about these days. Who is this charming fellow? He’s quite handsome.”
I could see this spiraling out of control before I could stop it. An epic car crash I’d likely never recover from.
“Beckett, ma’am. I’m Sawyer’s friend. And thank you,” he said, dipping his chin. “Nothing on Sawyer, though.”
“Friend?” Patty frowned, gaze dipping to my belly. Oh my god. “So, you’re not the father?”
No, no, no, no. This was not good. Saliva pooled in my mouth as nausea turned my stomach. I needed to get out of here. Needed to find a bathroom.
At her words, Beckett laughed, but there was a strange look on his face. “Father?”
The words came tumbling out of Patty’s mouth before I could register what was happening. “The baby’s father, of course.”
The world slowed.
Beckett’s smile faltered.
And then I threw up all over the table.