39. Sawyer
SAWYER
- Can’t stop peeing
- Heartburn is a bitch
If there was one thing I was grateful for throughout this pregnancy, it was finding out that clerical work was not for me.
I stared ahead at the computer screen, ready to bang my head against the desk in order to experience a new form of torture rather than the one I’d been stuck enduring for the past month.
And to think, I had weeks of this to go.
In the past, I never minded helping Duke or Liv with administrative tasks.
It didn’t happen often, so I viewed it like a break from the front.
I could get off my feet for a shift and not have to worry about fixing my face every time someone asked me a stupid question.
But now that this was my job? I never wanted to see an Excel spreadsheet ever again.
It wasn’t that the job was hard. I was just simply bored out of my mind.
The office was a tiny little space that barely had room for the desk and a filing cabinet.
There wasn’t even a window. Sitting here for nearly nine hours every single day was kicking my ass, especially if I couldn’t pass my time with people-watching.
Sometimes, I would find any excuse I could to go sit and chat at the bar for a few minutes of stimulation.
Duke and Liv never minded. Honestly, as long as the bare minimum was met, I was in the clear.
But I felt guilty taking advantage of their kindness like that, so I didn’t linger long.
I never thought I’d find myself missing the weird things our customers shared with me, but I did. And I rarely saw our regulars unless it was on my way out at the end of the day.
When I took over, their shared desk had been littered with Post-it notes bearing hastily scribbled reminders.
Things like organizing a vendor list and setting up automatic shipping on our regular supplies stared back at me.
Neither of them had given me specific duties, per se, so I took it upon myself to digitize what I could and put the rest in a pile, ranking from most important to least important.
Today, I decided to tackle the vendor list so it would not only make their lives easier once I was back behind the bar, but also my own, since I almost always had to search through emails to find who I’d ordered specific items from.
Everything would likely devolve into chaos once again when I left, but I could appreciate the organization while it lasted. At least I had something to do to occupy my time.
Glancing at the clock, I realized it was nearly two in the afternoon.
I hadn’t ventured out of the office since this morning when I spent twenty minutes thanking Duke for all his help last week.
He and Grady moved all of my belongings so I wouldn’t have to.
Beckett offered to join them, but there was so much still to do at the new house that it made sense for him to stick with me.
Maybe I needed to get up and walk around before I lost my mind. If boredom was an actual cause of death, I wasn’t about to find out.
I stood, placing my hands on my lower back as I stretched.
Between moving all of my things out of Gram’s trailer and prepping the nursery in our new home, the past weekend had kicked my ass.
Everything hurt these days. When I brought it up at my appointment yesterday, my doctor told me it was normal—which I already knew.
After all, I was growing a freaking human inside of my belly.
It sure as hell wasn’t going to be a cakewalk.
Her only suggestion, other than a low dose of pain-relievers, was orgasms. Apparently, Legally Blonde was onto something when they connected the dots between a release of endorphins and happy people not wanting to commit murder.
Of course, there was very little science backing up her suggestions, but Beckett and I took the research very seriously.
So far, it hadn’t been proven to help eliminate the pain, but now some of that pain was caused by pleasure instead of sitting too long. I’d take a win as a win. Who was I to question that?
Dr. Adler’s only concern was still with my elevated blood pressure.
It hung around the borderline, but thankfully it still hadn’t progressed to preeclampsia.
She did tell us that depending on how everything looked at my next appointment, she was considering inducing labor as early as the following week.
Even though we’d talked about it before, it was different hearing that as I entered my thirty-fifth week. The idea of giving birth in over a month was terrifying, let alone two weeks. Were Beckett and I really ready for that? Not that it mattered. We didn’t have an option not to be.
Save for the gentle hum of conversation and music coming from through the jukebox, the room was quiet as I made my way from the back.
There were only a few patrons milling about, most of whom I recognized, but there was one I did not.
He sat at the bar, staring straight ahead and nursing a glass of amber-colored liquid.
Ryan, one of our bartenders, asked him a question as he wiped the space next to him down, but the man just shook his head and returned to staring.
Ryan raised his brows when he saw me coming, meeting me near the middle of the counter. “Decided to come out of your cave?”
I snorted, running a hand along my belly. “Something like that. Honestly, Ryan… I’m so jealous of you right now.”
“Me? Why?”
“Well, for starters, your stomach isn’t the size of a beach ball, and you don’t have a tiny human kicking the shit out of your ribs.”
“Fair point,” he laughed and raised his hands in surrender. “Makes sense.”
I pulled myself up onto the stool and rested my elbows on the bar top.
Liv and Duke were gone for the day. They were meeting with a vendor for their expansion, tying up loose ends so they could hit the ground running on construction soon.
I felt horrible that they’d spoken to Lukas about putting it on hold until he could finish our project, but that was quickly chased away by the thought of bringing my son to our new home.
“Never quit this job to sit behind a desk,” I mumbled. “It’s horrible.”
“Wouldn’t dream of it.” Ryan, the angel that he was, poured me a crisp Cherry 7UP and slid it my way. He even topped it with maraschino cherries to class it up a bit. I groaned as I took my first sip. “I’m too good at what I do to stop now.”
Raising my cup in cheers, I said, “Hear, hear!”
I felt the stranger’s gaze as Ryan and I continued to chat.
He was only five or so seats down, and made no attempt to turn his head when I glanced in his direction.
There was something familiar about him that I couldn’t place.
He wasn’t from the area. I knew that much.
Maybe he was just passing through. They all looked the same.
The man took a sip of his liquor and grimaced. “I thought I ordered top-shelf. Not whatever this swill is.”
“Oh, I’m sorry.” I offered him a polite smile. “We’re just yapping away over here. I’ll let Ryan get back to work so he can serve you.”
I was halfway out of my seat when the man stood from his and sat closer to me.
It was a bit weird, but nothing too alarming considering he was drinking alone at just past two in the afternoon.
That was something I’d learned after years of working here.
Whatever was weighing on him must’ve been heavy.
It was a pity some men turned to anger instead of finding someone to talk to.
As good of a bartender as Ryan was, he wasn’t always the best conversationalist. Sometimes he would just stare at someone, blinking in confusion as to why they were spilling their deepest secrets and regrets to him.
But Duke always reminded us that working at a bar was a lot like working at a therapist’s office, except you didn’t need a degree and the pay was exceptionally worse.
I settled back into my seat and looked the man over. He was dripping with wealth, from his expensive suit and cologne to his patent leather shoes. “What brings you to Pinecrest?” I asked.
He let out a long sigh. “Family dispute, I’m afraid. It’s always the ones closest to you that hurt you the most.”
It must’ve been a terrible burden to bear. Family, regardless of blood relation, shouldn’t bring you pain. I didn’t even feel that about my mother. Would it be fair to carry hate in my heart for someone I never knew? Maybe it would be different if she’d left when I was older.
“I’m sorry to hear that. It must be really hard on you.”
He nodded. “You know, you try to give your kids everything. A good education and all the luxuries money can afford, but sometimes it isn’t enough. They still betray you.”
My hand flew to my belly as I thought about the relationship I wanted with my son. It was nothing like what this man had with his children, nor like what Beckett had with his father. I was grateful he wanted to break the vicious cycle he’d been thrown into.
“Don’t trust that he’ll be good to you,” the man said, gesturing toward my stomach. “Or she, I suppose. How far along are you?”
“I just entered my thirty-fifth week,” I said proudly, smiling to myself, ignoring the unnecessary warning. “That’s crazy to say out loud. I feel like this has been the longest stretch of time in my life, and yet it passed by in a blink.”
“My wife felt the same way with our son. He was always difficult. That pregnancy was hell on her. She spent most of it with her head in the toilet.” His gaze was unfocused as he brought the glass to his lips. “Should’ve been a sign he’d bring me hell later in life.”
Ryan and I shared a look, knowing this man was veering into dangerous territory. There was an unbridled anger simmering just beneath the surface. “So, you have a son?” I asked, forcing a level of cheer I didn’t feel. “It can’t be all bad.”
His laugh was callous and cruel. There wasn’t even a hint of fatherly love to be found.
“Unfortunately, it is with both of my kids. One showed such great promise but lacked any conviction, while the other would rather blow my money chasing highs than make something of themselves.” He sighed, finishing his drink in one go. “They’re both lost causes.”
I didn’t agree with that at all. While it was one thing to protect your peace, it was another to give up on your children for simply following their own path.
I hated how this clearly unsatisfied man couldn’t see that.
And if we were being honest, the source of his disappointment seemed to be with himself rather than his children.
He couldn’t lean on them to fulfill something he’d never been able to achieve on his own.
“For your sake, and that of your children, I hope you’re wrong,” I said, placing my hand on my stomach.
“I choose to believe there’s no such thing as a lost cause, so long as someone is there to fight for it.
My child may not be born yet, but I know there isn’t a single thing he could do for me to give up on him. ”
With a dip of my chin, I slid off my stool and hurried toward the office. That conversation was going nowhere good. I was halfway there when his voice stopped me. “So, you are having a boy?”
I turned, smiling politely. “I am. It was a little daunting at first, but thankfully his father has been a huge help. I don’t know what I’d do without him.”
He stared at me for a long moment before pulling out his wallet and slapping a one hundred dollar bill on the bar. “Well, hopefully he manages to be a better father than he is a son.”
And then he walked out, leaving me feeling queasy for the first time in months.
“You good?” Ryan asked. Some of the patrons turned in their seats to gawk at me standing in the middle of the bar, staring at the door that’d just slammed shut. “Sawyer?”
“Did that man give his name?” I asked, marching toward my friend.
Ryan’s brows drew together as he considered my question. “No name. He paid in cash the entire time. I figured he was just hiding a drinking habit from his wife or something. Wouldn’t be the first time.”
No, it wouldn’t, but there was this dread in the pit of my stomach I couldn’t get rid of. There was one surefire way to confirm my suspicions, though. Pulling out my phone, I typed the name Edward Montgomery into the search bar and almost threw up when the results came back.
“Sawyer? Are you sure you’re okay?” Ryan asked. “You’re looking a little pale.”
No, I wasn’t okay. Not at all. And I had a feeling Beckett wouldn’t be either by the time his father made it to him.
“I’ve gotta go,” I said in a rush. “Can you handle things here?”
“Sure, but—”
I didn’t wait to hear what he said. There was little I could do to help in my condition, anyway. Dashing to the office, I grabbed my things and was out the door before Ryan had even made it to the back. He called my name, but I didn’t stop.
The moment I was in my car, I pressed Beckett’s contact and hit call.
It rang and rang and rang until it went to voicemail.
He had plans to run all of these errands, so I had no idea where he was.
“Fuck,” I cursed, searching for Tatum’s name next and cursing my luck as the same thing happened with her.
“Tatum, it’s Sawyer. Your father is in town, and I think he’s headed straight for Beckett.
I don’t know where he is, and he’s not answering my phone.
If you get this, can you please try to get ahold of him?
I’m leaving work right now and will check our cabin first before heading out to the new house. ”
It’d taken all I had not to break down in tears right then and there.
Hearing how his father spoke so callously about both of his kids had me seeing red.
The things he said couldn’t have been further from the truth.
Tatum and Beckett were two of the most brilliant people I knew, and they brought a new kind of energy to our little family.
One I wasn’t sure any of us even realized we were missing.
Placing my phone in the car mount, I frantically pulled out of my spot and onto the highway, speeding my way to the cabin and hoping like hell I wasn’t too late.