40. Beckett
BECKETT
“Do you need supervision?” Lukas asked, leaning against the doorframe. He crossed his arms, looking down at me with amusement. “Or do you have it handled?”
I looked up from my mess on the floor, scowling at the smirk on his face.
Most of my days recently had been spent at the new house, making sure everything would be ready by the time my son was born.
Lukas had been showing me the ropes with some basic home repair because I was, in his words, a very pretty city boy who didn’t understand the difference between caulk with a U and cock with an O.
The playful dig at my intelligence sure as hell beat waiting around for a phone call from my father that still hadn’t come, or trying to figure out what I was going to say to him at the end of this week.
Today’s project had me sitting on my ass in the middle of the room, putting together baby furniture that came with instructions only a NASA engineer could decode.
Sawyer was supposed to come by after work so we could decide where it would go, but I was worried I might not have everything done by then.
At this point, I’d just be happy to finish the crib and the changing table. The rest would have to wait.
“I don’t need your help,” I said, grabbing the thick crib manual and waving it around. “I can follow instructions.”
“Can you?” he asked. “Because this shouldn’t be this hard.”
“Oh, like you said being a parent wasn’t hard? How’d that end up for you?” I snapped back.
He shrugged. “I may have lost, but that’s okay because I’m still the best uncle.”
I stared at him for a moment. “You realize you’re competing for that title between Duke and Grady, right?”
Lukas sighed dramatically. “Fine. I’m the fun uncle. Is that better?”
“It’s acceptable, at least,” I muttered, turning back toward my project. He was just being an ass and making it seem worse than it was. The crib was nearly finished. The dresser, however, was piled in the corner because I’d taken one look at all the parts and gotten overwhelmed.
“The offer was genuine,” he said, softening his tone. “I didn’t mean to insinuate that you couldn’t do it.”
I knew it wasn’t his intention, but this felt important. Just like Sawyer was insistent on painting the nursery, I was hellbent on putting the furniture together. It didn’t matter how many hours I had to spend sitting here in order to make that happen.
Between this and the secret project I enlisted Tate’s help for, I’d never felt closer to being a dad.
This was the kind of shit my own father wouldn’t be caught dead doing.
He’d never spend time putting together a crib or creating a thoughtful gift.
He’d hire someone to do it for him and be done with it.
“Nah, man. I know. I appreciate the offer, but this is just something I want to do myself,” I said.
Lukas nodded. “I respect that, and I’m sure Sawyer does, too.”
“I hope so,” I sighed, running my hand through my hair. “Just wanna do right by her and our son, you know? My father didn’t give a shit about this kind of stuff. Didn’t really give a shit about his kids, either.”
“I don’t know the man,” Lukas said carefully, “but I can tell you’re nothing like him. And I hope you know that.”
His opinion was biased, but it meant a lot to hear him say that.
As we got closer to Sawyer’s due date, it was easy to get lost in my head.
I wanted to be better than him in every way, but sometimes I couldn’t get away.
Sometimes, it was like fighting against the strongest current and being tugged back into the depths by a heavy anchor.
The only thing that set me free was looking over to see Sawyer sleeping peacefully beside me, or the press of her lips against my own.
“Thank you.” I swallowed down the emotion threatening to break free. “You didn’t have to say that.”
“I think you know me well enough by now to realize I don’t do things I don’t want to do,” Lukas said, shrugging. “I don’t play when it comes to my family, and I have a lot of regrets about not lifting Duke and Liv up more when they were struggling. Might’ve saved them some worry if I had.”
I couldn’t imagine a world where Duke or Olivia were struggling with anything, let alone parenting. They were the gold standard as far as I was concerned. I’d never seen two people love their kids more. But I realized there was a lot I didn’t know about them or their past.
Lukas cleared his throat and smacked the doorframe. “Right. Well, that’s enough sappy shit for the day. Guys and I are heading out. We’ll be back first thing in the morning.”
“Sounds good,” I chuckled, looking around. “I might still be here come dawn.”
He laughed all the way out the door, muttering something about that being a real possibility before leaving me in silence. It was the first time I’d been alone today, and I let out a long breath.
Tate and I had been spending our evenings hunched over my dining room table as Sawyer snored peacefully from our bed.
My sister was a night owl, but I loved my sleep.
Crawling into my bed only to crawl out of it hours later was starting to wear on me.
As much as I loved what we were pulling together, I would be eternally grateful when I could fall asleep with Sawyer again.
I’d only just gotten back to work when the crunch of gravel drew my attention toward the window.
Tate was supposed to meet me here this afternoon, but my money was on Lukas.
He’d probably been too focused on being a smart ass that he forgot something.
The thundering footsteps on the porch were all the confirmation I needed.
When I heard the door open, I got back to work and called out, “Forget something?”
I waited, laughing to myself as the steps grew closer. That was what he got after giving me so much shit about the crib. It wasn’t until the sound stopped and I looked up that I realized how very wrong I was.
Every bit of joy I’d felt over the past two months evaporated as my father set foot into the nursery. “Found something, actually,” he said, sticking his hands into his trouser pockets.
“What’re you doing here?” I asked, pushing to my feet. This was just a bad dream. There was absolutely no way my father was standing in front of me. Because that would mean he must know everything.
“You’ve been keeping secrets, Beckett,” he tsked, looking around the room with smug disdain.
“It’s a shame you didn’t want to share the news with me yourself.
I could’ve sent my condolences earlier. Maybe spared you from wasting time and money on this little venture.
” The smile he gave made my blood turn cold.
“Although you didn’t care about wasting mine, did you? ”
“What are you talking about?”
My father shook his head and laughed. “I’m getting ahead of myself here. Why don’t we tackle your lies, one by one?”
My palms grew sweaty beneath his angry gaze like they did when I was a kid waiting for the lash of his belt. “I didn’t—”
“Oh, save your spineless spiel for someone who gives a shit,” he spat. “At least have the decency not to lie to my face. I thought I taught you better than that, but yet again, I find myself reminded of your endless disappointment.”
“Fine,” I scoffed, widening my stance. “You want the truth? I made every effort to ensure you never got your greedy hands on the Harts’ real estate portfolio. I also used those meetings with Richard to help them get ahead of whatever bullshit you were trying to pull.”
“Ah, yes. Richard. Another bad investment in need of correction. He wasn’t entirely useless, though,” my father said casually.
“When he called to tell me of his own failure, he also offered his congratulations on the impending birth of my first grandson. Guess I should be thanking him, since I never received your baby shower invite.”
My eyes fell shut as I cursed myself for my stupidity.
I’d taken every precaution to ensure he never found out about my reason for dragging my feet here, but it’d never occurred to me to tell Richard my father had no idea that Sawyer or the baby even existed.
And now that folly landed the monster himself on my fucking doorstep.
“At least you’re making good use of my present.”
I lifted my head slowly, narrowing my gaze on the man in front of me. “Your present?”
He smiled and gestured around the room. “You see, I thought it was strange when my trust officer called me a few weeks ago to ask if I approved of a large purchase trying to come through. I’ll admit, I’m impressed you tried to sneak it past me, given how closely I monitor that account.
That was the only reason I approved the transaction.
Consider your severance package paid in full. ”
I knew using the trust to purchase the house was risky, but I thought if he saw that the wire request was coming from the Hart Estate, he might believe I was making progress and leave me alone for a while longer. I should’ve known it was too good to be true.
“Great. Package accepted. Are we done here?” I asked, gesturing between us. “You’ve said what you came here to say. Now you can go back to your ivory castle in the city and leave me the fuck alone. I don’t want anything to do with you.”
My father clapped his hands together and laughed, taking me off guard.
“Look at you finally finding the fucking balls to say what you’ve always wanted to.
I’ve spent years wondering what would finally push you over the edge.
I’d be proud if I wasn’t so goddamn disgusted at having such a spineless coward for a son. ”
“This coming from the man I call father,” I scoffed. Whatever patience I had at the start of our conversation had evaporated. “You’re unbelievable. I’ve spent my entire fucking life trying to live up to your unrealistic expectations, but I’m done. I’m so fucking done.”