Chapter 33
Iblink and feel a sharp pain in my lower back.
“June, are you okay? Are you hurt?”
Jesus, I must have hit my head pretty badly because that sounded exactly like Benjamin. I try to get up and curse under my breath when I feel that nasty pain in my lower back again. No headache, though. That’s a good sign, right? Maybe I didn’t hit it that bad after all.
“June, please answer me. Are you okay?”
Okay, so pretty bad. Wow, he sounds so real. And the warm hands checking all my body parts (for injuries I guess?) also feel so real and just like his. They feel just like the hands I’ve dreamed about every time I closed my eyes.
I must be unconscious. Fuck.
“I don’t have time to be unconscious,” I mumble and try to free myself from the arms still holding me.
“June, honey, you’re not unconscious, you’re very much awake.”
“I’m clearly unconscious since you’re here. Can someone please wake me up so I can call you?”
There’s something soft and warm in the voice when it speaks again. “Sweetheart, you’re not unconscious. Can you please open those beautiful eyes for me?”
I knit my eyebrows together. How is it possible for a voice to sound so real and so much like him?
The brain is truly amazing, creating such real things.
Who needs AI when brains exist? I blink and slowly open my eyes.
A shadow hovers over me, and I blink again, trying to get it in focus. Dark blonde hair. Green eyes.
“Hey,” a soft voice from full lips whispers. “Are you okay?” A gentle hand lightly swipes over my forehead.
Stunned, I stare at the familiar face right in front of me and feel heat building behind my eyes.
It hurts to see him like this, to see him look so real when he’s not.
God, I wish he were real. I want nothing more than for him to be here right now.
I miss him so much my heart aches more than my back.
Hot tears stream down my face because this is all just too much. I miss him too much.
“June, are you hurt?” His voice is worried now, and soft hands stroke my wet cheeks. “Please talk to me.”
“I wish you were here. I wish you were for real,” I whisper.
“Sweetheart, I am here. You just ran right into me.”
I look at him in disbelief.
“I am here,” he says again.
I close my eyes. Then open them again. He’s still there. Gah, I don’t have time for this. I keep losing time. I need to wake up. I shut my eyes again and when I open them, I avoid looking at my hallucination and try to push myself up. Firm hands stop me.
“I need to know you’re okay first. You fell pretty hard. Why is it that you always have to run everywhere?” The voice is warm, not accusing at all, just . . . warm. As if it likes the fact that I run a lot.
I drop my shoulders on a sigh. “I was running to you—I need to tell you something important. So, can I please wake up so I can call you? Where am I, by the way, in my own head somewhere? And how can I be this unconscious when I’m pretty sure I didn’t hit my head?”
Something fluffy and soft presses its body against my side, and my heart squeezes when I feel Cactus’s wet nose against my cheek.
“Hey, precious, you’re here, too?” I say to her.
“June, for the last time. You are not unconscious.”
“Of course I am, why else would you be here?”
Moss-green eyes look softly at me. “Because I’ve come to New York to find you.” A warm hand catches a tear on my cheek when I stare wordlessly at Benjamin. I can’t get a word out. He looks real. He sounds real. And he feels real. I swallow when hot tears blur my vision.
“Are you sure this isn’t all happening in my head?” I whisper.
“Yes.”
“You’re actually here? In New York?” My voice is nothing more than a rasp now. The lump growing in my throat makes it almost impossible to speak.
He nods slowly. “I’m actually here.”
“At Adler Bowman?”
His mouth is caressed with a small smile when he dips his chin again. “At Adler Bowman.”
My eyes search his face. The stubble on his chin.
The crinkles around his eyes. The long lashes.
Slowly, I reach out my hand and touch him.
He watches me quietly while I gently dig my hand into his hair and then let it wander down his face.
Briefly, he closes his eyes before opening them again.
“You are real,” I whisper. “You’re really here. ”
Quietly, he nods. “I am.”
My heart is in my throat now, making it hard to breathe. “Why?”
He takes a deep breath, letting his eyes trace my face, as if trying to decide whether he should do this or not.
Finally, they settle on mine, and my heart skips a beat at the eye contact.
“I never really stood a chance with you, June. I was yours from the moment you started stalking me. And I want you to keep stalking me because I don’t want to live without you.
I don’t want to do anything without you.
You’ve stalked your way into every part of my life.
You’ve made yourself my home. It’s not my house anymore or the town I live in—it’s you.
It’s always you. And I don’t care if you’re in New York or Pearlband Beach, I want to be with you wherever you are.
” He pauses for a moment, taking another deep breath.
“I want you for the long run, June, so if you need to be in New York because that’s where you want to be, I can be, too. ”
It’s like someone has emptied me of all air. I stare at him without moving, afraid he’ll disappear if I do. When I finally speak, I barely have a voice. “What are you saying . . . ?”
“That people in New York probably need a vet sometimes, too.”
I feel my eyes grow. “You would move to New York for me?”
“I would move anywhere for you.”
“Are you sure I’m not unconscious?”
“One hundred percent.”
And with that, it’s like a dam breaking. I bury my face in my hands and cry. Instinctively, Benjamin cups my face with a new worried expression. “Sweetheart, are you okay? Did something happen? Why were you running? And what was that important thing you needed to tell me?”
I swallow over and over again, trying to regain some sort of control over my voice.
It doesn’t work. “I was running to you,” I whisper.
“You were right. I have been afraid. I thought I was living my dream life, but it turned out I wasn’t, and it really scared me.
” I pause to breathe and wipe away the tears that just keep pouring.
“You helped me figure out what I wanted to do and how I wanted to live my life. You and Pearlband Beach. And for the first time, I know what I really want.” I pin him with a blurry look, almost having a heart attack when I look at the beautiful man in front of me, watching me without missing a beat.
He looks tense, like he’s as nervous as I am for what I’m about to say.
I drop my shoulders and smile through the tears.
“I’m in love with you, Benjamin Reyes. And I have been for a pretty long time now.
I’ll never stop stalking you if it means I get to be with you forever. You’re my home, too.”
The relieved, happy smile spreading across his face makes it hard to breathe.
I lean my head against his chest, burying my face in the soft fabric of his sweater and filling my nose with the smell I’ve been missing so desperately.
Then I look up at him again. “I kind of just handed in my resignation. Please, take me home, Benjamin.”
His whole expression suddenly changes. “What? What do you . . . ?”
“I want to go home. To you. To Pearlband Beach. Please, take us home.”