15. Maddy
MADDY
A WEEK LATER
I text Kayden to not wait up for me today.
Jordan mentioned a party tonight, and I didn’t hesitate to say yes.
We’re going to her place to get ready, and she’s driving me there.
She’s also introducing me to a guy—Callum. From the sole picture she showed me of him, he’s decent looking, with short blond hair and green eyes. He’s part of the hockey team, like her fuck buddy So he’s also one of Kayden’s teammates.
I don’t know whether something will come out of this, but I’ve got to try. I have to set my priorities straight. And wasting my time fantasizing and having disturbing thoughts about Kayden won’t help me.
I don’t know if it’s my inexperience, or the bond I thought I had with him when we met up on the roof those few times to talk. Or maybe it’s the fact that I felt so seen when he listened to me.
He seemed like a different person.
There are two sides to Kayden. One is cruel, savage, annoying, and likes to get on my nerves. And then there’s the vulnerable, raw one. They come out at unexpected times so I can never predict his next move.
The latter, I haven’t seen pop up again since we started college.
Maybe what drew me to him is the fact that, no matter what, cruel or harmless intentions, he’s showered me with attention ever since he walked into my life. Something I haven’t felt was given to me since the day my father walked out on me and my mom.
Either way, I crave Kayden’s eyes on me, and that won’t get me anywhere good.
I have to get over it. Over him.
He’s a jerk who doesn’t think about me when he does the things he does. He doesn’t deserve my time.
I wish it were easier. I wish I hadn’t listened to him jerk off that night, and that the image wasn’t on repeat in every single one of my dreams since then.
I wouldn’t have written the whole fantasy of it in my diary.
A fateful shower encounter. I wish he hadn’t popped up on the roof in only a towel after—forcing me to let my imagination run wilder.
I shake my head.
I told Kayden I was dating someone already, and he hasn’t asked about it again.
I might as well make that statement a reality.
Even if, instead of dating, I may be hooking up tonight.
We walk through the doors of a fancy ass house that belongs to someone I don’t know. The vibe is pretty much that of a frat party, ones I’ve seen in movies—not that I’ve ever been in one.
Lines of red cups with beer fill up the tables, and drunk college students decorate every corner.
The halls are filled with laughter, kissing, and sweat.
People are dancing to the sound of loud electronic music.
There are two floors, and we venture through the first one.
In the living room, we find Viktor with one arm around a blond guy’s shoulder. It’s Callum.
He is more handsome than I gave him credit for. His smile brightens up the room.
He’s quite tall, and buff. His short hair is massaged to the back, and he’s wearing a navy T-shirt and jeans.
Jordan smiles at him and rushes to wrap her arms around Viktor’s neck, French-kissing him right in front of me.
My stomach churns.
“This is Cal.” She sneaks her arm around Viktor’s hip and points at the blond guy. “And Cal, this is Maddy. She’s all yours.”
I smile. “Hi.”
“Wanna grab a drink?” Callum rubs the back of his head before signaling to the tables behind us.
“Sure.”
He hands me a red cup, and I take a sip of the bitter liquid.
In the distance, behind Callum, I catch a blur in my peripheral vision.
I squint my eyes and the blur becomes sharp. It’s a guy, leaning over the door frame that separates the living room from the entrance. He’s wearing a ski mask, and though I can’t see his eyes, it feels as if he’s staring right at me.
Chills run down my spine.
He’s wearing all black—jacket, shirt, and pants. I can’t tell who it is or what he wants.
“So, Maddy, right?” Cal asks, and I bring my attention back to him.
He stares me up and down, and my self-consciousness strikes me.
Do I look okay? Is this red spaghetti-strap dress that Jordan lent me too short?
I brush some of my freshly curled brown hair behind my ear with one hand, holding the red cup with the other. “Yes.”
“What do you study?”
“Umm, education.” I gnaw at my lip. “And you?”
“Medicine,” he says. “I succumbed to the family pressure.”
“Oh.”
I don’t really care what he does. I’m more interested in a different set of his skills.
“I know, right?” He laughs. “But don’t get me wrong. I’m not all looks, I got in because I’ve got brains.”
“Of course.”
My gaze darts to the background again, intrigued by the mysterious figure, while Cal goes on to tell me about the hockey team and how that’s his favorite part of being at NJ State.
My chest relaxes when I clock in a few other guys wearing ski masks and dark clothing.
They must be part of a fraternity or something, playing around.
Okay, Maddy. Relax. No one’s following you. You do not have a stalker.
Wait…Did I want to have a stalker? Is that a fantasy of mine? Should I write in my diary?
I shake my head.
What the hell am I saying?
“Getting into the hockey team wasn’t easy. They were super strict with me.” Cal’s still going on about hockey. “You’d think having money would help pull some strings, or having the experience would. Which I clearly do, but no. Those try outs almost broke me. They tested me hard.”
“I’m sure,” I say, already regretting wanting to try this.
Cal may be nice and good-looking, but this isn’t going to work. The more he talks, the more I’m sure of it.
“There’s this new guy, Kayden.” With the mention of Kayden’s name, my attention is on Cal again.
“He isn’t a bad player. But man, did he piss me off.”
“W-why?” I ask, suddenly prying for information.
“He showed up this semester, and the coach let him into the team right away. The tryouts were a joke compared to when I had to pass them. Everyone’s hypnotized by him or something.”
I gnaw at my lip and envisage an image of Kayden in my mind—his broad shoulders, sculpted abs, and sharp features. Those deep blue eyes. I guess I can see the appeal.
“That doesn’t seem fair,” I say instead.
“Thanks.” Cal points at me with his own red cup. “That’s what I’m saying.”
I look past him as he continues to protest—and freeze. Kayden is standing a few feet away from us, in the ocean of people in a corner of the room, and smirking at me. That same wild hair he always has, wearing a black leather jacket, a T-shirt and jeans.
What is he doing here?
Realization washes over me that if Callum and Viktor are here, and they’re both in the hockey team—it isn’t surprising that Kayden was invited, too.
Why didn’t I think of that before?
“Right?” Cal asks.
I have no idea what he’s saying; my sole focus on Kayden, digging holes on Cal’s back with those eyes.
I bring my attention back to Cal.
“Yes.” I give him a weak smile.
“Ouch.” Cal winces. “You weren’t listening to me, were you?”
“What?” I come back to reality.
“Given that I asked if I was boring the shit out of you and you smiled and said yes, I’m going to assume you weren’t paying attention to what I was saying.”
“I’m sorry…” I rest the red cup I’m holding on the table beside me. “It’s…”
“What were you so focused on?” He spins, and there’s no mistaking he sees Kayden, too. “Shit. Speaking of the devil.” He rubs his palm on the back of his neck. “Don’t tell me you fancy him, too? Why is everyone so obsessed with this guy? I get it. He’s hot, but I’m hot too.”
And I suddenly know why they’ve introduced me to Callum—and why he isn’t taken.
“God. That guy’s not only stealing my spotlight but also stealing my girls.” He continues his monologue, not giving me enough time to react. “He has at least ten girls drooling over him at the moment. Two of which I used to hook up with, mind you.”
Cal has zero tact and I don’t need him dumping all this on me. Do we even need to talk if we’re going to be fuck buddies?
“Shit.” Callum stops and half-smiles. His blond hair sits perfectly on his head, and the way his eyebrows lift to the sides gives him an apologetic look. “I’m sorry. Too much information?”
I shrug. “I could have used without your hookup history.”
“Did I ruin my chances?”
I stare back at Kayden, still glaring our way. Something bothers him, and I don’t know why.
“Oh. Shit.” He bottoms up his beer, smashing the empty cup with his palm and tossing it on the table.
“You are into him. I never stood a chance, did I?”
“That’s not—” I pause. “He’s my stepbrother, actually.”
“Fuck,” he mutters. “That’s even worse. I’ve been bitching about him non-stop.”
“To be honest, I don’t care.”
All I care about right now is forcing Kayden to stop staring, to stop making me feel things I shouldn’t.
Cal isn’t going to be the love of my life, but that doesn’t mean I can’t use him.
“I’m more interested in you.” The words make me cringe, but I say them anyway.
Cal smiles, lifting an eyebrow. “Really?”
“Yeah.” Before I chicken out, I push up to my tiptoes and pull his T-shirt toward me, leaning in to kiss him.
He doesn’t stop me.
Our lips touch. They’re soft, taste of beer, and he pushes his tongue inside way too fast.
“God.” Cal groans between my lips.
He holds me so tight, I’m sure what I’m feeling on my thigh is his hard-on pressing against me.
The kiss isn’t terrible, but it doesn’t swirl anything inside my belly.
The butterflies aren’t there. I tell myself they don’t have to be to enjoy the moment, to forget.
To erase every memory of Kayden and the time we kissed. The way his lips molded with mine.
Two hands push between us and I open my eyes. Someone pulls us apart, opening way to the drinks table beside us. Kayden.
“What the fuck, dude?” Cal complains.
Kayden grabs a red cup from the table and raises it, his face blank of any emotion. He’s ignoring Cal. “I want to propose a game.”
Everyone in the room seems to bring their attention to him.
“What is it?” One of the hockey players shouts amongst the crowd.
“Seven minutes in heaven.”
The crowd of people cheers.
“Yes!” someone says.
“Heck yeah,” another guy shouts.
There are giggles from the girls.
Suddenly, everyone’s staring at Kayden and us.
“Where are we going to do it?” a guy asks.
“Hey, host! Do you have a closet or storage room we can use?”
No one replies. God knows where the owner of the house is.
The music is still loud, but there’s a proper crowd, at least twenty people, gathered around us.
“We’ll use the bathroom.” Kayden points at a door across the room.
“Good idea,” one of his friends says, approaching and bumping a fist with him. “How do we choose who goes in? Do we spin a bottle?” The guy reaches for one of the beer bottles behind the row of cups on the table.
Kayden shakes his head. “Nah. Let’s make it simple.”
“How?” a girl asks.
“Let’s cover our eyes and point at someone at random. Whoever we point at, we need to go into the bathroom with.” Kayden smirks. “I’ll go first.”
No one says anything.
He covers his eyes with his huge hand, and the other stretches to point at someone.
My heart catches in my throat when it stops.
Kayden uncovers his eyes, the smile still fresh on his face as our gazes meet.
His finger is pointing straight at me.
“N-no way,” I say. “I’m not playing.”
He storms forward, digging his fingers into my arm, and snatching me from Cal.
“Let’s go, Madelyn. Time to play.”