35. Kayden
KAYDEN
My blurry vision sharpens at once, seizing on the image in front of me.
Madelyn is leaning against the copy machine, her body covered in nothing but black inscriptions, dancing around her breasts and going all the way down to her pussy.
She’s naked, and there’s dry blood staining her thighs, now coated with fluids.
W-what’s going on?
“I’m Devon,” I hear myself say. Yet, the words don’t feel right.
No. “I’m Kayden.”
“Stop it,” Madelyn says. A frown creasing her brows. “This isn’t funny anymore.”
I focus on the blood between her thighs—the fluids.
My cock twitches, and I stare down at myself. Traces of cum on my tip, red stains around my shaft.
What did I—Surely we didn’t—
No. It can’t be.
Did I let it get this far? Did I corrupt my sweet little demon?
“I can’t believe you.” Maddy presses her arms against her chest, a bad attempt at covering herself. “I can’t believe it was you all along. Am I a fucking game to you?” she hisses. “God, how could I be so stupid to think you’d changed?”
As she speaks, anger lacing every word, the pieces start to connect.
Last thing I remember, I was in the locker room, having found Joseph’s body, and that cryptic message that I finally deciphered. That’s when it all went black.
It was me, but it wasn’t me.
I saw everything he did. I was there, but I didn’t have control over it.
I thought I was dreaming—a twisted dream I couldn’t wake up from.
Dreaming through the lens of a killer who’s obsessed with my stepsister.
Who’d do anything to have her. A killer who doesn’t deserve her.
A hand flies to the back of my head, wanting to have my fingers tangled through my hair. Instead, it grabs at the plastic holding onto it. A mask. My fingers trace over the curves of it. I take it off and spin it toward me.
That same neon red mask I’ve seen, with the Xs slashed through the eyes.
If there was any doubt in me, it dissipates. The messages and reminders I had on my phone, the notes, and threats—it was me all along. There was no way to catch the bastard because there was no bastard to catch.
I’ve been playing a game of cat and mouse with myself, with my own trauma.
How do I tell Madelyn this? She’s expecting a freaking coherent answer to this mess I’ve been making.
The small windows of lost time throughout the years make sense now.
How sometimes I’d fall asleep and forget what I was doing or that I’d done something.
How I knew things that felt like déjà vu.
The freaking confusion seven years ago when I leaked the sex tape of Madelyn and me in front of all our college peers.
What the fuck is wrong with me?
I stare down at my hands, stretch my fingers , trying to understand that it’s really me, in my body, no one else.
This is real.
“Are you not going to say anything?” Madelyn grunts now, growing impatient. “I know it’s you, so there’s no need to deny it anymore. But at least you could try to convince me you’re not the fucking devil incarnate.”
I wish I could tell her everything—That I am, too, coming to terms with what’s happening.
That I’m not one-hundred-percent sure of how I got here.
That I want her so freaking much, that I have wanted her for so damn long.
That I’ve been dreaming about this moment.
I want her to be mine, to keep, to fuck, to love, and to protect against all odds.
I know it’s wrong. She’s flawless, and I’m broken. I’m a broken piece of shit.
A monster I can’t control.
Yet my words betray me.
“Maddy, I—” I sigh, slamming my fist against the side of my head. “Fuck. I’m a fucking idiot.”
She scoffs, her chest puffing. She’s so tiny and vulnerable next to me. Shaking her head, she pushes past me.
“You are a fucking asshole, that’s what you are.” She heads for the open door and walks out. “And I’m stupid for doing this, trying to give you a chance,” she shouts from the other side.
“Maddy, wait!” I pull up my pants and rush after her.
I catch her standing in the reception. She didn’t leave.
She looks over my shoulder. “I can’t fucking leave.” She presses her hands tighter against her chest now as she pins to face me. “I’m naked, and you literally destroyed my clothes.”
“I—I did?” My eyes widen.
Fuck. I must have done it, but I can’t remember a single thing.
“Please, stop pretending.”
“Little Demon, I—” Pause. “I’m not pretending.”
“Then what are you doing? Denying? Are you trying to make it all go away just like you’ve been doing all these years? Pretending nothing happened between us again?”
“No.” I plant my hands in my pockets, shaking my head furiously. “You’re right. I will take accountability for what happened between us, Madelyn. I am. And you’re right. I want to explain everything. I want to talk. Let’s just—”
I take off my hoodie and pass it to Madelyn.
“Here,” I say. “Put this on. I’m sorry about your clothes.”
She doesn’t say a word as she takes the hoodie from me. I’m way taller than her, so it’s long enough that it reaches her knees.
“I’m honestly not sure anymore whether an explanation will be enough.
” Maddy purses her lips, the crease between her eyebrows more defined.
Her messy chocolate hair falls in waves over her shoulders, matching the black hoodie perfectly.
“Right now, the idea of calling the police and locking your ass sounds way more tempting.”
“Please…it’s me.” I grit my teeth, drawing closer to her, shortening the distance between us. “I’m trying to do what’s right for fucking once in my life.”
“Yes. It’s you. That’s why I’m so freaking furious,” she snaps. “Because it’s been you all along, Kayden.”
She pushes me again, and I stumble back.
“What the fuck?” She says. “You literally stole my diary and tormented me for weeks. All because you, what? You wanted to fuck me? Degrade me? Relive some of the past because you’re bored with your routine?
Wasn’t it enough seven years ago? All the humiliation?
Robbing me of experiences? Taking away my first kiss?
My first moment of intimacy with someone?
” She sighs. “Did you have to claim my body, too?”
I tilt my head in confusion.
“Fuck. I let you release yourself inside me. I thought you cared about me. I trusted you. Your fucking cum is dripping down my legs.”
My eyes widen. I did it—I finally took what I promised myself I would all those years ago. I made Madelyn mine, and my chest squeezes with the thought of possibly losing her now, letting her slip through my fingers.
I can’t let that happen.
I close what distance is left between us, hovering over her, and lift her chin with my thumb.
“Please, Little Demon. I won’t blame you if you want to call the police after we talk.
I’ll accept my fate. But you wanted to hear my side of the story, and I’m willing to give you that.
” I pause. “I don’t want to live the rest of my life knowing you think I did all this to hurt you when it’s the opposite.
I’m fucked up. I may even be a monster. But I never ever meant to hurt you.
Not back in high school, not in college, and not now. ”
“Then what were you doing? Why should I listen to your excuses?”
“Because I may be a fuck up, an anti-hero, the fucking villain of your story, but I love you, Madelyn.” The words don’t feel real. “And this is my fucked up way of loving you.”
She scoffs, attempting to pull away. Her eyes divert, not wanting to meet mine. “I hate you.”
I turn her face to look at me, grab her jaw so she’s craning her neck and staring at me, really seeing me.
“You should hate me. I deserve that. But I also think you should know that”—I take a deep breath, ready to let everything out—“I would burn the world down for you if you’d ask me.
Hell, I’d jump in front of a fire for you.
I’d let you use me as a human shield if we were in the apocalypse, overruled by zombies. ”
I laugh at my stupid words. I suck at this, but I’m trying my best to convey this swirling of emotions inside me.
“You’re everything to me, Little Demon.” I’ve never spoken truer words.
“I sought you, craved you, I wanted to have you so bad. I’ve been through a lot of shit in my life, but among all the chaos, you’re my lifeline.
The one star that’s shining bright in the dark sky that’s my heart.
And you know I fucking hate stars. I do—but you’re the only exception. ”
Maddy gasps and my heart races with that little reaction.
“I’m in love with you. I think I’ve been in love with you for seven years, from the moment you entered my life and annoyed the shit out of me.
I just didn’t know how to voice it. But I fucking do.
I love you.” The words flow with ease now, and I don’t stop myself; I release them all.
“I love you. I love you. I love you, Madelyn.”