37. Kayden
KAYDEN
There’s so little that fazes me that the idea of dying from a heart attack never crossed my mind, but fuck, this just might be it. My heart’s beating so fast, I may collapse.
Madelyn, my Maddy, loves me. God, I didn’t know I had a validation kink, but I do.
She chooses me.
For the first time in my life, it’s me.
“I can’t believe it,” I say, like an idiot. My words slipping out of my mouth without consent.
“What’s that?” Maddy asks, her long, wavy hair falls down her shoulders, and her big, cocoa eyes fill with curiosity.
The only thing she’s missing is a halo over her head, and I’d believe I got sent to the wrong place, because I swear I’m in heaven.
She’s a fucking angel, and she picks me as her sin.
“That you love me. I fucking love you, Madelyn.” I pause, catching my breath. “I almost had you once, and I let you slip right through my grasp.” I sigh, leaning closer to her and cupping her face between my hands. “I’m not doing that shit again. Never. If you want me, then I’m yours. Forever.”
She smiles and imitates me, caressing my face with a delicate hand. “And I’m yours.”
“My angel.”
She shakes her head. “Your little demon.”
“Here I was, easing you into a new nickname I thought you’d like more. I thought you didn’t like it, that it reminded you of the past.”
“I warmed up to Little Demon. I think it suits me. And you’re right, I want to focus on us now. But I don’t regret our past, Kayden.” She smiles, and I melt into the brightness of her lips. “In fact—”
Maddy stands up from her seat and pulls me forward. “Let’s go.”
I let her lead me out of the reception and through the hallways until we reach a familiar classroom.
She stops me in front of her desk and makes me wait as she browses through the pile of books and papers on it.
“Close your eyes.”
I do.
“Now hold out your hands.”
She places a cold, round object in my palm.
“You can open them.”
My eyes widen as I do. Right there, is the red puck I gave her seven years ago.
“You still have this.”
She kept it. My heart batters against my chest, so full of happiness.
“Of course I do. It reminded me of you.”
“And you wanted to remember me?”
She gnaws at her bottom lip, swinging from one side to the other with her arms behind her. “What we had meant something to me.”
“Fuck, you’re perfect.” I can’t resist it, I slide the puck into my pocket and pull her toward me, trapping her between my arms.
“Keep my secrets, and I’ll keep yours?” she asks me.
I smile, the first real smile in years, and it never felt more natural.
I tilt my neck down to reach her ear, “Deal.”
Then, I grab her face and kiss her.
Our lips collide, and I taste her again, our first real kiss, not the one I snatched from her at eighteen, but one we’re both eager for. She presses her nails against my back, pulling at the fabric of my T-shirt as I explore her mouth with my tongue.
It’s a combination of sweet and rough, as if we’ve been starved for each other for years. I melt into it, let myself go.
I bite her bottom lip, asking for a deeper entrance, and cup my hand to the back of her head, pushing her to me. She molds her body against mine and keeps digging her nails into the small of my back, letting me know how into it she is. I groan in her mouth as she fights my tongue.
I want to devour her, suck her tongue until we’re both out of air. I can’t get enough of her sugary spice.
“Can I have my diary back now?” She pulls away, blinking her eyes at me.
“Not a chance.” I smile, crashing her against my body again and craning my neck to bite her earlobe. “I’m not done with it. There is so much more to learn.”
“W-what do you mean?”
“I’m saying that with or without Devon taking over, we’re going to be acting out every one of your fantasies, Little Demon.”
Every single fucking day of her life if she lets me.
“How about you give me a preview, then?”
I lift an eyebrow, a snarky grin coating my lips. “That greedy for my cock, already?”
“The night is young. And we’re going to be here for a while.” She pulls at the corners of my shirt, twirling them in her fingers. “We need to clean up. I need some energy, sounds like a good plan to me.”
“What are you saying?”
“I’m saying that you should fuck me again, before we clean up all the mess we made together. I just need you to motivate me a little first. No inhibitions this time.”
“No masks?”
“No masks. I want you bare,” she says. “All of you, Kayden.”
And if I had any doubt about getting in the mood after all this fucking trauma dumping, it’s gone now. My cock springs back to life in my pants, hammering against the fabric.
“You really have a breeding kink, baby. Begging me to take you twice in one night.”
“Maybe.” She licks her lips.
“Don’t tempt me with a good time.”
I pick her up, and she automatically wraps her arms and legs around me. My hard-on pressing against her ass.
“To hell with everything, protection, walls between us. I want you, Kayden. I don’t care about the consequences.”
“Fuck, you really know how to get me going.” I grunt against her, my cock tightening even more in my pants.
“I’ve had enough years of practice.” She laughs. “Can I volunteer an idea?”
“I’m all ears.”
“Have you read all of my diary?”
“I wish I could say yes, but no. I was a bit distracted, you see.”
“Then you might not have gotten to my darkest fantasies yet. I might shock you.”
“Nothing can shock me, baby.”
“Well.” Her cheeks flare up, suddenly shy.
“Did you forget everything we did tonight? There’s nothing you can say that’ll push me away. Use me, Little Demon. Tell me what to do, and I’ll do it. Anything for you.”
“Okay.” She swallows, pressing her mouth to my ear and whispering.
“You want me to fuck you next to Joseph’s body?” I ask, cackling. “My God, that is fucked up, even for me.”
“Fucking next to the man you killed to protect me? Giving him a fuck you from the grave? Sounds romantic to me.” She pauses, staring down at her body wrapped around me. “Besides, what’s a little more blood?”
I laugh so hard that there’s no denying I am fucked up. I’m so fucking delighted with the suggestion, with every single word coming out of Maddy’s mouth, there’s no doubt something’s wrong with me.
“You’re a little weirdo.” I lean closer and trail a long line of saliva over her cheek. “And I’m so fucking in.”
I carry her into the locker room, ready to fulfill what’s probably the most fucked up thing I’ve ever done.
And when we’re done doing the bad things we do together, when I’m done fucking her into oblivion with both my cock and my tongue, I take my sweet time washing off the sins I forced her to commit.
“Madelyn,” I say, as we clean each other up in the showers.
“Yes?”
“About therapy…I think you’re right. I think we should try it.”
“We?”
“Yes. Together. Both of us.”
No more hiding. Only the necessary parts. The darkness that unites us.
She gives me a slow nod. “I’m so down for that.”