Chapter 9
Brett kissed me as he walked me into the bedroom, my legs wrapped around his waist. Instead of taking me directly to his bed, he set me on the ground after we’d crossed the threshold and studied me, like he didn’t know what to do with me.
Or maybe he just didn’t know what to do with me first.
Based on the experience of last time, Brett didn’t seem to be one who lacked ideas when it came to fucking. Personally, I didn’t care what he did to me, as long as he did something.
Just when I feared he’d changed his mind, that this wasn’t a good idea after all (again), he scooped my hair off my shoulders with both hands, then grabbed it tightly in his fists. With a yank, my head fell back, exposing my throat.
I waited for his lips to find my skin there—his teeth to mark me like they had last time—but they never did. Roughly, he used both hands to drag me to the wall. There, he dropped my hair and brought his hands to my throat.
Lightly—then not so lightly—he squeezed.
My breath became shallow, from excitement as well as a constricted airway, and for the first time, I considered that Brett might want to do more than just sexy bad things to me.
It was a thought I would never have believed possible before, when I suspected he had a crush, when he was the Nice Boy in my life.
When I hadn’t thought about him beyond friendship.
Now, the look in his eyes said that the feelings he’d withheld from me were much more complicated.
He might very well want to hurt me.
Honestly? I didn’t blame him.
I placed my palms against the wall behind me, a form of surrender. “Go ahead,” I said, my voice tight from his grip. “Whatever you want to do to me, I deserve it.”
His jaw twitched, and his eyes blazed, and his fingers pressed in the slightest bit harder at my neck. “Dammit, Edie, I could strangle you just for that.”
“For what?”
He shook his head in answer, then relaxing his grip and dropping one hand from my throat, he drew his fingers down my body—over one breast, past my bare stomach, over my pussy.
The movement was purposefully light. Controlled rather than tentative.
I could barely feel it through the layers of clothing—my crop top, my skirt, my panties—and I was convinced it was meant to drive me mad.
I had to concentrate very hard not to buck my hips forward in an attempt to get the pressure I needed.
I was rewarded for the effort when he pushed his hand under the slit in my skirt and stroked me over the crotch of my panties, all the while, his hard gaze never leaving mine.
When I let out a shuddering whimper, he stepped closer to me and tightened his grasp around my neck. His expression seemed to be issuing me a silent dare, I just wasn’t quite sure what the dare was. To be silent? To not come? To not be turned on? To not be afraid?
Whatever the dare was, I’d lose. I had no control of myself.
The sounds I made came involuntarily, especially when his fingers slipped past the flimsy material covering my pussy and found my bare flesh instead.
I was already seconds from coming, the evidence of my arousal soaking his hand as he assaulted my clit with a vengeance.
And yes, I was afraid.
Not of what he would do to me physically, because even if he did want to hurt me, I trusted Brett with my life. He would never hurt me beyond what would feel good. Even if a part of him hated me.
What I was afraid of was what I would let him do to me, if he wanted to. What I would give him, if he asked. What he would break inside me, if he walked away again.
If I wanted to protect my heart, now was the time for me to put a stop to this. Maybe that was his dare—run away now or be owned.
Too late, Brett. “You already own me.”
I saw his stoic expression melt for the briefest of seconds before his hand flew from my pussy, and he smacked his palm against the wall with frustration.
Even with the loss of his touch, an orgasm rippled through me, fueled as much by his outburst as from what he’d been doing to me. My knees buckled, my back arched as I cried out, and if it wasn’t for his hand still at my throat, I was pretty sure I wouldn’t have remained standing.
“Fuck, Eden.” Brett pressed his forehead to mine. “I can’t resist you like this.”
“Then don’t.” I was still writhing, and the hand that had slammed the wall was already under my shirt, fondling my breast.
“And you show up to my mother’s birthday party without a bra…
” His tone was angry, and it surprised me when my core clenched in response.
The tone carried into his actions when he squeezed my steepled nipple to the point of pain.
“Everywhere I went tonight, these stood out for everyone to see. Taunting me.”
“I didn’t mean to.” It really hadn’t been purposeful this time.
The top I’d chosen had been modest, even though it was slightly cropped and had a low back.
I’d only gone without a bra because it was impossible not to.
More importantly, I hadn’t realized he’d noticed anything beyond my face.
I’d caught his stare a few times over the night, but he’d never given an indication he’d been checking me out.
Had this been what the last ten years had been like for him? Always quietly aware of me?
I would have been curled into a ball of regret if I wasn’t otherwise occupied with the sweetest torture I’d ever known.
“It doesn’t matter if you mean to. You exist. That’s all it takes.” He twisted my nipple sharply before suddenly letting go of me altogether and taking several steps back.
Automatically, I moved forward, desperate not to be away from him, until he ordered, “Take it off,” and I understood he was giving me room to undress.
I reached behind to unzip my top, slowly, distracted by the fact that he was unbuttoning his shirt.
He’d dressed simply, choosing a white button-down, open at the neck and rolled up at the sleeves, paired with gray dog tooth trousers.
I’d been so focused on trying to get over him that I hadn’t properly allowed myself a moment to notice how fucking amazing he looked until now—he looked especially good taking off his clothes, if you asked me—and I didn’t want to miss a second of watching him while I removed my own top.
My speed was not to his liking, it seemed. “Stop with the teasing, Eden.”
His frustration was palpable, and it was impossible to resist toying with it more. “Or what? You’ll spank me?”
In a flash, he undid his belt and came at me, pulling it taut across my throat. “Take everything off. No strip tease. Leave the shoes. Don’t be undressed after I am.”
The “or else” was in the subtext, and tempted as I was to find out what the “or else” would entail, I thought it might not be the best time to push him.
Besides, he followed up the threat with a greedy kiss, and even with the belt at my neck, his mouth reminded me that he wanted me. That he was desperate for me. That he needed to be inside me.
As soon as he broke the kiss, I took off my shirt, followed by my panties and skirt. By the time I was naked, he had everything off but his shirt, which hung open like curtains to the best show in town—that gorgeous cock, standing straight up while he fisted it.
My mouth got wet watching his hand move up and down. I couldn’t take my eyes off it. The way he touched himself was erotic all on its own. The way he touched himself paired with the way he looked like he could devour me whole had me squirming with anticipation.
As much as I wanted to keep watching, my view was abruptly changed when he flipped me around to face the wall.
Now I understood why he’d wanted me to leave the shoes.
His height generally made him a little too tall for fucking while standing, but with my heels on, he lined up with me perfectly, making it easy for him to shove inside.
Which he did.
I cried out at the sudden intrusion.
Then cried again as he instantly picked up a brutal speed.
I placed my hands out on the wall to steady myself, but immediately he ordered me to put them down.
As soon as I did, he pulled me by the hair until my back was against his chest, then he wrapped his hand once again around my neck and continued to pummel me from behind.
Needing somewhere to put my hands, I reached back and grabbed his ass, which made my breasts stand out even more. They were already flapping, the sound echoing the slap of his pelvis against my ass, and now it felt like they were on full display despite the fact that Brett was behind me.
Validating the feeling, he reached his free hand around and spanked one of my breasts. Hard. Then spanked it again, moving his hand from my throat to my mouth when I screamed.
“Tell me to stop,” he said hoarsely into my ear before biting down on my lobe.
If he was asking for me to safe word out, it wasn’t happening. “No.”
Appropriately, he took that as permission to slap me again. “I like your breast with my handprint.”
I looked down to see one breast with red fingertip marks, and instantly, I was coming so hard, his tempo slowed, and he had to really push to get each stroke all the way inside me.
“You’re so beautiful,” he muttered, and if I hadn’t been able to hear the words, I would have sworn he’d been cursing. “You can’t decide if you want me in or out, can you?”
“In,” I promised. “I want you inside me.”
With a growl, he pulled out of me and let me go, as though just by asking for him, I took the option of the table.
Still shaking from my climax, I fell against the wall. “Please, Brett.” I peered over my shoulder and found him at his nightstand, retrieving a condom.
Oh, right. Good idea.
He nodded toward the bed. “You can beg over here.”
Without hesitation, I crawled onto the bed and flipped onto my back, wanting to see him. Wanting to kiss him.
Seconds later, he crawled over me, the shirt gone now so that he was completely naked except for a condom.
“Please,” I said, as he teased my opening with his cock.
But it was his turn to taunt me. He put his hand up to my mouth, sticking his finger in between my lips. It tasted like me, and that made me want him inside me even more. “Please,” I said before nipping at his fingertip.
He searched my face, and I had the feeling of looking at him through a glass wall. I could see him, and he could see me, but there was something still between us. Something tangible that I was desperate to break through.
I cupped his jaw, brushing my palm across his scruff. “Please, Brett. I need to be inside you.”
He must have thought I meant it the other way, that I needed him inside of me, because he sat back on his knees and folded my legs back so my feet rested on his shoulders.
Then he pushed into me. He applied the same vigor as he had before—faster, actually, now that he wasn’t standing.
Bent in half like I was, his cock hit deep on each thrust, and despite the addition of latex, I could really feel him.
The entire length and width of him, filling me up, bruising my insides.
And yet he still felt so far out of reach.
My legs between us.
His mouth, far away.
That glass wall.
A tear leaked down my cheek, and while I was sure it was a product of the immense pleasure, I didn’t discount that it could have come from frustration. It was a sweet kind of agony I was in. Everything I desired, so very nearly in reach.
If only I could…
Brett closed his eyes. I saw when he did, shutting me out. No, I wanted to say, look at me. Be with me.
But I was overly sensitive and on the verge of another orgasm, and words weren’t forming on my tongue.
In desperation, I sat up, taking my feet off his shoulders as I did.
His eyes flew open, and he watched me curiously as I adjusted our position, climbing on to his lap and wrapping my legs around him.
I could feel him twitch inside me, but he wasn’t moving otherwise. I moved my hips, pulling him in deeper before drawing back and repeating the motion. “Please,” I said, kissing him tentatively. A question of sorts. Please, please, please.
He placed his palm around my throat, as though he needed that hold to feel like he was still in control, then he brought his mouth to mine, kissing me with his eyes open. His tongue slid against mine slowly. Testing.
Then, with a sigh, he let himself feast on me, his mouth speaking to mine in a language that didn’t need words. As he kissed me, his hips moved to meet my thrusts, pushing me faster until he took over, holding my waist while he drove up from below, until I was screaming his name.
He didn’t hold back even then, hammering into me until he erupted with a jagged groan.
Exhausted, we fell back against the bed.
I closed my eyes, thinking it would only be for a minute. At some point, I woke to the covers being tugged out from underneath me and then being tucked around me.
Then I was aware of Brett, sliding under the sheets at my side.
My body rolled toward him like he was true north. His arms wrapped around me like I was his. Silently, a prayer of sorts ran through my head. Want me. Keep me. Love me.
Maybe I said the last out loud, or maybe it was a dream when I heard him whisper, “I already do,” before I drifted into deep sleep.