Man in Charge

Chapter 31

CHAPTER

THIRTY-ONE

TESS

“ Y ou’re spoiling me,” I said, watching as a team of caterers set up a table in the middle of the Key West Butterfly and Nature Conservatory. All my senses were piqued. Rushing water and sweet bird sounds hung in the air. The fragrance from the hundreds of lush plants and flowers that filled the spectacular garden tickled my nose. Butterflies of all colors and varieties danced around us. “ Seriously spoiling me.”

It wasn’t just a platitude. Scott’s grandfather had lavished me with extravagance. Last night, dinner had been catered lobster out on the veranda, which in itself was decadent, but he hadn’t stopped there. He’d also hired a professional string quartet to play during the meal.

“He did this just for me?” I’d asked, surprised anyone would go to that sort of trouble, let alone a grandfather of a man I’d been officially dating less than a week.

Scott had tried to shrug it off. “He likes to enjoy life. He’ll take any excuse to make a meal an event.”

It may have been normal behavior for the man, but the look Scott had shot Irving said otherwise.

The treatment had continued after the official welcome. This morning, he’d had brunch brought to us on the beach, then followed it up with full body massages by professional masseuses. I’d even gotten a mani-pedi afterward, without having to leave my lounge chair.

Now, tonight, he’d rented out the entire butterfly conservatory for our dinner. He was a rich old man, sure, but the entire conservatory? For the three of us?

“You are spoiling her,” Scott agreed in a tone that confirmed he hadn’t had anything to do with it. “That was supposed to be my job.”

Irving narrowed his eyes at his grandson. “Maybe you need to do your job better.”

“You haven’t given me a chance?—”

I interrupted Scott’s protest. “You’re both spoiling me.” The bulk of Scott’s spoiling had come in the carnal form. I’d been treated to a full hour of cunnilingus before falling asleep last night and woke up with his head once again between my legs.

Spoiled rotten.

Scott wrapped his arms around me from behind and placed a kiss on my temple. “It’s no less than you deserve.”

Loved it, yes, but deserved it? “I don’t know about that…”

“Uh-uh-uh!” Irving’s eyes went wide as though I’d said something appalling. “Tell her, Scottie.”

I leaned out of my boyfriend’s hold so I could look at him. “Tell me what?”

“‘You get what you expect.’” He recited it in that way that told me it was something he’d been told many times himself.

“That’s right.” Irving nodded. “You get what you expect. Don’t forget it.”

I didn’t know about that. It was a little simplistic for my taste. But I nodded despite being distracted by a colorful bird that swooped so low in front of me I could see its eyes. “Whoa.”

“Maybe you could get him to land on you.” Scott nudged me to lift my arm as a perch.

“No maybes,” Irving scolded. “That’s exactly what I’m talking about. If you think he’ll maybe come and land on you, then maybe he will, maybe he won’t. Expect him to land, and he will.”

He lifted his hand up into the air, and as if on cue, the bird came and settled on his finger.

“Whoa,” I repeated.

Scott wasn’t as impressed. “Okay, Grandpa. What’s the trick?”

Irving chuckled. “No fooling you, is there?” He reached into his pocket with his free hand and pulled out a small handful of seeds, which he held out for the bird to eat. “I come here all the time. Neville and I are old friends. He knew I’d give him the goods if he came to me.”

Neville pecked at the seeds, then when he flew away satisfied, Irving brushed his hands together, letting the rest of the contents of his hand fall to the ground. Another colorful bird flew down to pick at the remains. Then another.

“I expected that,” he said with a smile. “In all seriousness, though. If you approach your life with maybes, then that’s what you’re sure to get. Approach it with sureness. Totally different outcome.”

“Okay,” I said. Because what else was there to say to that?

“Here, let me give you an example. Tell me something you want.”

Scott’s grip around me tightened protectively. “Grandpa, you don’t need to give her a lecture.”

“It’s fine,” I said. Scott squeezed me, then let me go as if to tell me good luck with that and you’re on your own . I took it as a hint to keep things on the lighter side. “Well. I want that bird to land on my finger.”

“Then pick up some of the damn seed, and do what I did. Too easy. Give me something real.”

Scott gave me an I-told-you-so look.

Fine. I’d play for real. After all the older man had done for me over the last day, I could certainly sit through an elder’s lesson. Besides, I’d missed out on male-guided wisdom growing up. Might as well get some now. “Let me think a second.”

“Something important to you,” Irving prodded. “Something you really want.”

What did I want? It had been so long since I’d asked myself that. Usually, I focused on what I could get. What I could do with what was in front of me. What I could hold on to and how long.

But what did I want?

I peered over at Scott, who was watching me intently, seeming just as interested in my answer. I wanted him. I’d wanted him from the minute I’d seen him. So much time I’d spent trying not to have him, I’d barely ever acknowledged that I actually wanted him.

Now I had him, or some of him, and I still wanted him. Wanted more of him. Wanted him for good, or at least long enough to find out whether I really wanted him for good. I couldn’t imagine that more time with him would make me want him any less.

I couldn’t say any of that, though. Not just because it wasn’t the thing to declare for the first time in front of someone’s grandfather, but also because I didn’t know if Scott was ready to hear it from me.

So I turned my thoughts toward my career. And Kendra. Fucked up as it was, I still wanted to work with Conscience Connect. I believed in the organization, and I’d invested my time building it with her. I just wanted her to take me more seriously. Wanted her to give me more equal footing.

“I want to tie up a sponsorship for the Dysautonomia Relief Foundation and impress my boss,” I said. Which maybe was cheating since the DRF was almost all but tied up with SIC, but the key part of the statement was the end—I wanted the deal to impress Kendra. Wanted her to see what I could do on my own and realize how much more I could do with her support.

And most importantly, once the sponsorship was secure, Kendra and Scott would no longer be engaged. “Yeah. That’s what I really want.”

I snuck another peek at Scott and worried I’d said something wrong when I found him frowning.

Irving, on the other hand, beamed. “See, that’s what I’m talking about. I’m guessing you’re already doing the work to land the deal, and now you’re just waiting and hoping things work out?”

“Pretty accurate.” I didn’t look at Scott, afraid he was still glowering, but I wondered about his reaction while I continued to give my attention to Irving.

“Stop hoping,” he said. “Hope isn’t even for the birds. You want to get Neville to land on you, it’s never going to happen by just hoping. Expect to get it. Expect that it’s already signed, sealed, delivered. Say it. Come on. Say it.”

“Uh,” I stumbled, trying to figure out exactly what he wanted me to say. “I expect that I’ll get it.”

Irving rolled his eyes. “Don’t say it like that. Tell me that you’re going to get it in a way that I believe you.”

Okay. I could do this. I took a deep breath, threw back my shoulders. “Hey, Irving. Great things are happening at my job. I’m about to seal up this killer sponsorship, and my boss is going to be so impressed that she’s going to give me a raise. And a promotion. A new title too. She might even make me partner.”

I’d gone too far there, but the rest had been surprisingly invigorating.

“You did good until you said might. Overall, good job, kid.” Irving winked. “I’m sure you’re going to get it. You can give me an update on it when I see you next week.”

“Oh, am I going to see you next week?” I braved a glance at Scott. Did he have another surprise trip planned that I didn’t know about?

“He’s coming to New York for his sister’s birthday,” he said, his expression less tense than it had been. “I’ll bring you to the party.”

“Another chance to attend a Sebastian event? Man, I really am being spoiled.” I sidled up next to Scott, eager to be back in his arms. He welcomed me immediately, dissolving any lingering concern about his earlier frown. He probably just couldn’t understand why I still wanted to work with Kendra. Or maybe just the reference to the woman he was still technically engaged to was enough to put him in a mood.

Or maybe he’d been hoping I would have said I wanted him.

I squeezed him, hoping somehow he understood he was my first choice.

Whoops. There I was hoping again. But try as I might, I couldn’t convince myself that Scott knew how I felt. Not without telling him.

The caterers had finished setting up the serving area, and now one stepped over to acknowledge us. “Twenty minutes, and we’ll be ready for the first course, sir.”

“Great!” Irving turned toward us. “Gives you two lovebirds some time to explore. I’m going to go use the little boy’s room.”

He nudged us down the path that wound through the tropical paradise, then headed off in the opposite direction.

“We won’t see him again tonight,” Scott said, reaching for my hand. “Did you notice the table only had two place settings?”

“That little devil.” I laced my fingers through his and let him lead me down the walkway past a pond occupied by two flamingos to a bridge by a waterfall. It really was a romantic date. Was that what all the spoiling was about? Irving was trying to hook me up with his grandson. “It’s cute. He’s trying to get us together.”

“We are together.” Spoken in true Sebastian fashion, confident and sure.

So maybe he did know how I felt about him. “Well, he seems to think we need some help.”

“I think he’s trying to be sure we stay together.”

“He should just expect we will. Expect it to get it, right?”

“You learn quickly.” He brought my hand up to his mouth and kissed my knuckle, sending a rush of heat through my veins.

Was this what it would be like all the time with him? I’d never dated a man who’d shown any real interest in being together, let alone staying together. So much of it felt new that I didn’t have experience with how these feelings worked long-term.

Would he stick around long enough for me to find out?

Expect he will .

It was so strange saying something so affirmative to myself, I almost laughed. “That’s such a different mindset than what I grew up with. I was taught to manage my expectations. Wonder how different my life would be if I’d been taught what you were.”

With a sigh, Scott stopped abruptly. “Look. It’s not as easy as Grandpa makes it seem. I know that. We’re rich, Tessa. We get what we expect because we can afford it.”

I studied him, appreciating that he could recognize that about himself. “Yeah, there’s privilege there for sure. But maybe that’s why you’re rich. Because of that mindset. It was your grandfather who earned the money, right? Maybe he was able to build what he did because he expected it into being.”

He gave me a skeptical look. “Are you going The Secret on me here?”

“No, no.” I laughed at his reference to the self-help phenomenon that encouraged people to think a better life into existence. “Like you said, it isn’t that easy. But also, it kind of is.”

It was his turn to study me. I loved that he’d always looked at me like that, like he genuinely cared about my thoughts and opinions.

It gave me room to openly explore the idea that was only just forming in my mind. I didn’t put much credence into unproven science, but there were significant studies that showed attitude made a difference in a person’s commitment to achieve. Was it my attitude that had been in the way all this time?

“All my life, I’ve expected mediocre,” I said, “except when I got into Georgetown. Then, I expected that I would and that I’d get a full ride, and I did. But other than that, I expect all the men I fall for to be unavailable emotionally. I expect Kendra to never see my value, and she doesn’t. I expect my father to choose his other life over me, and he has. Time and time again, I expect to be let down. I set myself up for failure. I set myself up to lose.”

Scott let go of my hand and leaned against the wooden bridge’s railing. “Did you set yourself up to lose with me too?”

It was a hard question to hear asked. A pointed one, because it forced me to look at myself and analyze my behavior in a way that made me feel naked and raw.

But I sensed the vulnerability he felt as well, only because I recognized it from the many times I’d bared myself to other men by stepping out into talk-of-our-relationship territory. His asking meant my feelings were as much of an unknown for him as his were for me.

If he could be that brave, I could too. “From the minute I met you, I knew that you were…” I paused, not wanting to offend him, but also wanting to be honest. Honesty won. “You were the guy who fingerbanged women on rooftops and then dismissed them. I knew who you were, Scott. I knew you were the guy who would take me home for a night. I knew you were the guy who would give good sex because of how many women you’d had in your bed.”

He cringed, but it didn’t stop me from going on. “I knew you were the guy who’d lose interest, most likely before I did.”

He nodded, his jaw working, accepting the truth of what I’d said. “Well. Stop knowing that. Know something different.”

My heart tripped over itself as it picked up its beat. Excitement? Trepidation? I couldn’t be sure what I was feeling until I was sure what he was saying. “What should I know instead?”

“You tell me, Tessa. What do you want to get from me? What do you want me to be to you? That’s what you should expect. That’s what you’ll get.”

The door was wide open, and as much as I wanted him to tell me what we were and what he wanted, there was a thrilling freedom in being given the charge. No one had done that before. No one had said, do you want me to be with you? Then I’ll be with you. Why had I never tried to figure out what I wanted? Because no one had ever made me feel like what I wanted mattered, and now here he was telling me the only thing that mattered was what I wanted.

My response was easy. I wanted him to love me. Like I always wanted the boy to love me. But with the invitation to say that, I hesitated. Because I wanted him to love me because he loved me, not because I asked him to.

Though didn’t the very fact that he was offering that mean that he already did?

I didn’t have time to process that before the conservatory employee who had let us in approached us. “Mr. Sebastian said to tell you that he’s feeling tired, and he’s gone home for the evening. He also said not to rush, and enjoy your meal. Once I let the caterers out, I’ll be out of your hair as well. If you need anything, you can find me in the front offices.”

Scott thanked her for the information, slipping her a bill that looked like a hundred from where I stood. When she left, he turned back to me with a knowing look. “Told you. You know what that means?”

“What?”

He put his arm around me and leaned in as if to tell me a secret. “As soon as our dinner is served, we’ll have the whole place to ourselves.”

“Plus the birds.”

“And the butterflies.”

So many butterflies. Both those in the sky and the ones in my stomach, fluttering like it was a warm spring day.

Scott wrapped his other arm around my waist. “Dance with me?”

“There’s no music.”

“Really? It feels like there is.” We were already moving together to a silent song. Swaying back and forth as we spun slowly.

I leaned my head on his chest. This close, I could smell his woody scent, even with all the flowers around us. A gorgeous butterfly landed on his shoulder, the color of its wings rivaling the blue of Scott’s eyes. I memorized the moment—the warmth of his body next to mine, the call of the birds, the beat of his heart against my ear.

I want this. I expect this. I should get this, forever and ever.

Could it really be that easy?

I clutched onto him tighter. “Hey, Scott, do you expect to get lucky tonight?”

“I actually do.”

“What do you know? Your grandfather must know his stuff because I’m pretty sure you’re right.”

He nuzzled his face in my hair. “The question is do you expect you’ll be fucked the minute we get back to the house or that you’ll be fucked here in the butterfly pavilion?”

I leaned back so I could give him my most shocked expression. “Are you serious? Of course, I’m expecting both.”