Chapter 32
CHAPTER
THIRTY-TWO
SCOTT
“ H ot damn! That one was fast.” Grandpa swiveled to face Elias, his personal assistant. “Did you get a clock on that?”
Elias looked at the screen of his speed gun. “One-eighty-seven.”
Grandpa made a face that managed to look both impressed and pissed off all at once. “That’s going to be hard to beat. We should have bet on that one.”
I chuckled, then took a swig of my beer—the only beverage allowed when watching boat races, according to Grandpa. We’d been out on the water all day now, having parked early to get a premium viewing spot. Now that the competition had actually started, I couldn’t decide what was more entertaining, the high speed racing or my grandfather’s reactions as he watched.
“Would you really bet against your own team?” I asked him after a beat.
He shrugged. “If the boat I sponsor isn’t going to win, I might as well make money somewhere.”
This time, I full-out laughed. “Like you need more money.”
He opened his mouth, and I could already guess what was going to follow. A quip about how you can’t keep money with that attitude or something to that effect. But then he shut his trap and just smiled. “Not gonna lie,” he said after a swig of his own beer. “I like money.”
“At least you know yourself.”
“At ninety-five, I sure hope so.”
The next boat prepared to run the course, and we fell into an easy silence. It was a nice day for lounging. A cool breeze swept across the harbor, alleviating the otherwise oppressive eighty-nine-degree day. Hot for October but welcome after the cold front that had landed in New York before we’d left.
Still, as pleasant as the afternoon was on the yacht, I had other things on my mind. Not the least of which was the email I’d woken up to.
“Clean,” Tess had said proudly when she’d opened up her own health report. She’d waved it in my face to prove it, so I’d waved mine back.
“Clean.”
We were minutes from celebrating in the only appropriate way—my cock bare in her pussy—when Elias had knocked on our bedroom door to inform us that the boat was leaving in ten minutes.
Celebrating would have to wait until we returned. Which was probably best since I didn’t want to rush the experience. I wanted to take my time. I planned to enjoy every single second of the experience, planned to make her enjoy it as well. I’d been suffering with a semi all day just thinking about it.
My gaze drifted to the lower deck where Tess lay in the sun, reading a book she’d found on one of the many bookshelves in Grandpa’s house. She’d removed her cover-up at some point and was now just in her tiny, black bikini. Fuck, that swimsuit was killing me. I was already anticipating what I’d do to her when I finally got to pull those tempting little strings and watch that flimsy piece of cloth fall off.
Subtly, I adjusted myself and pulled my attention back to Grandpa, only to find he was staring in the same direction, an appreciative expression on his face that I imagined rivaled my own. “Hey, now! Watch where you put your eyes, old man.”
He gave me a guilty smile. “I’m old; I’m not blind. No reason I can’t look.”
“Not at my girlfriend. Look all you want at other women. Keep that leer away from her.”
“ Girlfriend ,” he repeated, conveniently steering the topic in another direction. “Is that what she’s going to stay?”
I shuddered at the thought of losing Tess. “I’m not planning on ending things, if that’s what you’re suggesting.”
“No, no. Quite the opposite. Wondered if you were going to make her permanent.”
Oh. That’s what he was getting at.
I relaxed, which was strange because this was the kind of subject that I would have expected to make me nervous. Instead, I felt oddly excited. “We haven’t been dating that long, Grandpa. I shouldn’t be thinking in those terms yet.”
“But…”
“But, yeah. A permanent arrangement...I could see that happening.” Saying it out loud was a relief. Thoughts of a future with Tess had certainly entered my mind, but this was the first time I’d formulated those thoughts into anything concrete. The idea had been knocking, though, wanting out. Last night, when I’d pressed her to name what she wanted from me, I’d really been asking for permission to say what I wanted from her. To say I wanted all of her, for always.
Now that I’d allowed myself to say it, it was like a floodgate had been opened. I could see it all: her finger wearing the ring I’d pick for her, her eyes as I lifted the veil from her face, her belly swollen with my child. A whole, perfect, wonderful lifetime ahead of me with her at my side.
“That’s what I guessed from the way you look at her. Just wondering how you plan to do that when you’re engaged to someone else.”
My head snapped in his direction. “Dad told you.” I didn’t know why I was surprised. My father boasted whenever he could, and he thought my engagement to a woman with Kendra’s social status made him look good.
It was all about him. It was always about him.
Grandpa looked at me sternly. “I’d hoped you’d tell me.”
“I’m not marrying Kendra,” I assured him.
“Good. I hoped that was the mix-up.” He nodded toward Tess. “She doesn’t deserve to be a sidepiece.”
I cringed at the idea that any woman deserved to be a sidepiece, but there was a good chance Grandpa Irving had affairs of his own, and I didn’t want to get into that fight. “I wouldn’t do that to her.”
“I didn’t think that you would. Though, if you’re technically engaged right now?—”
“I’m working on not being engaged. It’s not…” I sighed. “It’s not as easy as I wish it was.”
He considered. I could feel him restraining himself, and I couldn’t decide if I was grateful that he wasn’t letting me have it or if I was disappointed. Eventually, he asked, “Does she know?”
“Tess? Yes. She’s fully aware of the situation.” That was a lie. “Okay, not fully.” I thought about saying more. If I explained it to him, would he have a solution? Would I feel that sense of relief I’d felt admitting that I wanted a life with Tess?
I probably would have told him no problem if it hadn’t been what she’d said to him at the conservatory. Up until that point, I’d been comfortable with the very likely chance that the DRF would lose their sponsorship. I’d known it was an important organization to Tess, but I hadn’t realized quite how important it was until she’d told Grandpa it was the most important thing to her.
I didn’t want to assume that I was anything near that on her priority list. Still, I felt pretty sure that she wouldn’t support me marrying Kendra for it. Or it would be a pretty tough choice for her anyway. Which was why I still hadn’t gotten around to telling her about it.
And why I was having a hard time making myself tell Grandpa.
He made the decision easier by nailing down the root of the issue. “Let me guess, that son of mine doesn’t approve.”
That was the long and short of it because it was bigger than just his threat to pull the DRF, whether I wanted to admit that or not. “You know the kind of profile Dad expects from his board members. He’d never let me advance. I’d be at a dead end.”
He made a spitting sound. “Henry’s an ass. Always has been. Was entitled and snotty even as a kid. It kills me that he’s brought that attitude into the company. Into my company. That’s not the kind of environment I built. That is not what I stood for.”
I wasn’t surprised by this outburst. For the most part, he tried to refrain from commenting on how my father ran SIC, but the few times he slipped, he’d always given a similar impression of frustration.
He muttered some more under his breath, and I caught a curse word or two before he settled himself down. “Want me to talk to him?”
“Thanks, but no.” It was a nice offer, but we both knew it would do more harm than good. My father was stubborn to a fault. Whenever he was challenged, he dug his heels in, even if the right move was to let up. Especially when it came to his father.
And Grandpa could complain all he wanted about how SIC was run, and nothing would change. He’d handed the position of leadership over to his sons decades earlier, and legally, he no longer had any say.
“Thought it was at least right to offer.”
“I appreciate it.”
The next boat had started its way through the course and was now headed our way. We quieted while it sped past us until Elias announced it had only clocked at one-seventy-three, and Grandpa lost interest in the race and turned his attention back to me. “Did I ever tell you what your grandmother did with her inheritance?”
Generally, Grandpa seemed just as sharp in his nineties as he’d ever been when I was growing up, so I didn’t question his out-of-the-blue tangent and just went with it. “Not that I remember. What did she do?”
“Well, more important is what she didn’t do. See, we were penniless when we got married. Adeline’s father had some money, but he had no interest in parting with any of it, so we lived in a little shack of a place while I tried to cultivate the relationships needed to build an empire. I was obsessed with that, with building something that would be worthy of her. She, on the other hand, would have been happy just to have a house with wall-to-wall carpet.
“We were still struggling when her daddy died. He left her a nice little sum, just enough to buy a nice place in the suburbs and put some in savings. I could stick with my bookkeeping job, and we’d have been fine. Or she would have been fine. She would have been ecstatic, actually. I would have been miserable.”
“You didn’t buy her the house she wanted?” I asked, guessing where the story was going. That didn’t seem like him. Whether or not he’d stayed faithful, he’d definitely loved Grandma. She’d been his world, and he’d doted on her constantly.
“It wasn’t mine to decide. It was her money.” Never mind that married women didn’t have any legal claim to their own assets back then. He let her make the decision anyway. This was more like the man I knew as my grandfather.
“What did she do with it then?”
“She gave it to me to invest. Told me to go build what I dreamed of building. She knew that I’d take care of her in the end. Unfortunately, I lost a good portion of that money, and we had a few rough years, but the partnership that I formed because of that investment led to our first oil strike, and things, you know, snowballed from there.” He waved his hand as though he’d gotten off track. “That’s not the point. The point is, your grandmother sacrificed something important to her so that I could have something important to me. She said she wouldn’t be happy in her perfect little home if I wasn’t happy with her. That’s love. That’s real love. I didn’t know she loved me like that before then. Sure, I’d married her. Because I was fond of her. Because I thought she’d be a good mother one day. Make a good wife. But I don’t think I really fell in love with her until then. Made all the difference in our marriage. I don’t know that we would have been what we were if it weren’t for that sacrifice.”
Huh.
It was a touching story, one I’d never heard before, but I wasn’t sure what he wanted me to glean from it. “What are you trying to tell me, Grandpa?”
His brow creased as though he’d lost his train of thought. “You know, I’m not quite sure, Scottie.”
All right, then. It was happening. Grandpa was finally losing a few of his marbles.
He turned so he could clap his hand on my shoulder. “If anyone can figure out what I meant by it, you can. I have faith.”
“Okay, Grandpa. I’ll work on it.”
But my gaze went back to Tess then. She’d set down her book and stretched out on her stomach, her swim top undone so her back was completely bare, and fuck if she didn’t look like a goddess, half naked, her skin glistening in the sun.
And the only thing I was working on at the moment was a plan to get us off this boat and back to our guest room as soon as fucking possible.
When we were finally back on dry land, I told Grandpa not to count on us for dinner, and then, after he gave me a knowing wink on the sly, Tess and I practically raced to our room.
I was on her heels, and as soon as we were across the threshold, I grabbed her from behind before the door was even all the way closed.
“This excuse for a swimsuit you’ve been wearing all day is driving me out of my mind.” With one hand resting on her collarbone, I slid my other hand over her bikini bottoms, stroking the folds of her pussy lips through the material as I pressed tight against her so she’d have physical proof of my misery. “All that skin bared, your gorgeous curves exposed, and still all I could think about was hidden right here.”
“Oh, yeah?” She tilted her hips, and I hissed as her ass rubbed across my length. “What exactly were you thinking about it?”
“How warm it is. How wet I could make it. How tight it will feel against me when I’m in you bare.”
“That’s all I was thinking about too. I tried to get into my book, but I swear I kept reading the same paragraph over and over. I kept getting distracted.”
I could feel her pulse picking up underneath my palm at her neck. Her tits rose and fell with shallow breaths. I had the perfect view. I’d been half hard all fucking day long, but seeing her excited, feeling her excitement took my arousal to a new level. My cock felt like a steel bat between my legs, solid and heavy and able to do damage.
I wanted her that aroused. Wanted her as miserably turned on as I was.
“Distracted because you were thinking of this?” I taunted her, shoving my fingers into her hole, as far as the fabric would let me.
“Yes. But the real thing.”
I pushed in again so the material stroked along the walls of her pussy. “This isn’t the real thing?” I knew what she meant, but I wanted to hear her say it.
“I was thinking about your cock.”
I moved my hand from her collar to wrap around her neck, nudging her head back and to the side so I could reward her with a kiss. At the same time, I crept my other hand under her bikini, where the damp heat of bare skin was a reward for me.
“I like knowing you think about my cock,” I said when I’d left her breathless. I was working on keeping her gasping, one finger massaging her clit in the way I’d learned she loved best.
She whimpered, the hum vibrating against my palm. “Stop teasing, Scott. Fuck me. Please? I want you to fuck me.”
It usually took more taunting before I seduced her into dirty talk, plus the begging on top of it—she was definitely worked up. Part of me wanted to take pity on her and give her what she so obviously needed.
But after hours of anticipation, I wasn’t sure how long I’d last, especially without a condom, and I wanted this to be as good for her as I knew it was going to be for me.
I slid my fingers off her clit, down through her wet folds to her entrance, thrusting them roughly inside her. “Here, baby. Is this what you need?”
“No. I need...I need…” Her eyelids fluttered as pleasure began to build inside her.
“You need what? You said you wanted to be fucked. My fingers are fucking you nice and good right now, aren’t they?”
She panted, her hips bucking against my palm. “But it’s not your cock.”
“Shh, I know. I know.” I kissed along her jawline. “Don’t worry. I’m going to give you my cock, but first I need you to come. Can you do that for me?”
“But I want to come on your cock.”
“I’ll let you come on my cock too, but I really need you to come before that.”
“You want me to make a mess all over your hand?”
Fuck. Her mouth. She was killing me.
Trying hard to ignore the ache of my cock, I stretched my thumb up so it could massage her clit while my fingers fucked her. “Yes, baby. That’s exactly what I want you to do. I want you to cover my hand with your juice.”
She ran her hands up and down the sides of my thighs, moaning as her pussy clenched around me. She was getting close. A little nudge, and she’d be there.
“Tess, take your tits out for me. Play with your nipples, and make them stand up.” They were already firm buds poking against her bikini top, but I knew that stimulating them was an easy way to get her off.
It was one of the benefits of fucking the same woman more than once. Figuring out what she liked wasn’t all guesswork. Once upon a time, I’d thought that would make for boring sex. Instead, it did just the opposite. With all the basics out of the way, there was more room to explore and learn new stuff.
And God, I loved exploring with Tess.
Eager to do as I’d asked, she started to reach up to untie her top, then perhaps realizing it was too hard to get to the strings with me wrapped around her the way I was, she pulled the cups of her suit down instead.
Or maybe it was a deliberate choice. Because she knew how crazy it would make me to see her like this, her breasts bare and trussed up, her fingers pulling at her peaks…
Fuck, if she didn’t come soon, I was sure going to.
As soon as I’d had the thought, she went over the edge. Her head tilted back, her body shook, her knees buckled, and I had to tighten my grip around her just to keep her from slipping to the floor.
With my mouth at her ear, I coaxed her through her burst of pleasure. “Good girl. Beautiful girl. Just like that. Making my hand so fucking wet.” My dick too. I could feel it leaking at the tip, as though crying in envy of my fingers.
You’ll get your turn, boy. Soon enough.
She was still quivering when I brought a wet finger up to my mouth to suck it clean. I loved the taste of her. Loved her smell. Loved everything about the Tessa Turani flavor.
She tilted her head to watch me, her eyes glazed.
“Delicious,” I said, licking another finger. “Makes me want to get down on my knees and have a feast.”
With abrupt energy, she pulled out of my grasp, whipped around, and curled both hands into the button-down shirt I’d worn open all day. “The only place you’re going is inside me. Not your fingers, not your tongue—your cock.”
I grinned, cupping her face possessively with my hands. “So bossy.” Then I kissed her, the taste of her pussy mixing with my other favorite taste—the taste of her mouth—as I ravished her with my lips and teeth and tongue.
She was right—the only place I was going was inside her, as quickly as possible. It was suddenly urgent that I do so. A need so potent, I would have given up everything I was for the privilege. Abandoned everything I knew. Sold my soul with not a single second of regret.
Her desperation felt equal. While I pulled at the strings of her suit, she pushed my shirt off my shoulders. Then she moved to the drawstring of my swim trunks, each graze of her hand against my jutting cock as she worked the knot sending a fire through my veins. I was so sensitive, I could barely stand the touch. As soon as I had her naked, I shoved her hands away and took over the task, pushing my shorts to the ground and stepping out of them before pulling her back to me for another savage kiss.
It was a kind of ecstasy being naked with her, each of us pressing our bodies toward the other, like heavy magnets with no choice but to slam together at every possible point. It made me feel dizzy and twisted inside. Made me feel twisted with her, not just literally as our arms and legs got tangled, but on another level. Spiritual or emotional or something like that. Something I couldn’t explain, both because it was too new and because it was too indescribably astonishing. It was a feeling I both wanted to hold on to and wanted to brace against. Because it anchored me and rocked me all at once. Because it felt like both being held and letting go.
And I wasn’t even inside her yet.
I pushed her away, needing to catch my breath. Needing to gain some control. The throbbing of my cock had its own agenda, and as much as I felt like I wanted to slow down, the crude need to fuck exceeded any other desire.
I moved to the bed, pushing myself back against the headboard. I’d thought about this all day, thought about how I’d want to take her this first time, because it was in every way a first time despite the many times I’d had her before. I wanted to watch my cock go into her, and I’d wrestled back and forth between the best position for that. From behind? On my knees between her thighs?
Now that I was in the moment, I abandoned both those choices. I needed to be able to hold her, kiss her. Needed this to be as intimate as it was dirty.
I fisted myself, getting primed though I didn’t need it. “Come sit on my cock, Tessa.”
She was already climbing up my body, as if she already knew what I needed, or maybe because it was what she needed too. After scrambling to straddle me, she put her hands on my shoulders and positioned herself above my shaft.
“Wait,” I said, stopping her before she sat down. Her expression was puzzled and frustrated, and fuck, I understood because I was eager too, but this was a significant moment for me, and I wanted to memorize all of it. “Wait,” I said again, softer, as I brushed the hair from her face. I kissed her gently. Then not-so-gently, one hand holding her face, the other still wrapped around my throbbing cock.
When we were both breathing heavily again, I broke away, clamped my hand at the back of her neck, and pressed my forehead to hers. “I want to watch it go in you. Want to watch you take my cock inside you. Watch with me, will you?”
With my hand bracing her like it was, she didn’t really have a choice unless she closed her eyes, but she nodded against me all the same. “Yes. I’ll watch. Anything. I just want you in me.”
Her urgency felt like a live thing between us, a thing born from us both, a thing that was only ours, and if I weren’t so crazed with lust, I might have wanted to drag the moment out.
But I was crazed. And I needed her, needed all of her. Needed to possess her and fill her and belong to her.
I notched my head at her entrance. “Do it, baby. Take me inside you.”
She sank down slowly, slowly, without me even having to tell her to not rush. Slowly, so I could savor every sensation as inch by inch I disappeared inside her.
“Ah, fuck. Tess.” I was barely holding on before I’d even gotten halfway in.
Her sigh echoed my ecstasy. “You’re so big. When did you get so big? I can feel all of you.”
She slid the rest of the way down, till I was buried to the hilt.
“All of me, baby. This is all of me.” Naked and bare and raw, in every way possible. “You feel so fucking good.” So fucking good. Like nothing I’d ever felt before. Wet and hot and stifling, like fucking in a sauna, except the sauna was only around my dick, and instead of stepping out ten minutes later, desperate for cool air, I couldn’t imagine ever wanting to be anywhere other than right here.
And there was more that I felt, feelings that weren’t just about what was happening where we were physically joined. I felt like I was falling. Into nothing. Wonderful nothing. The way it felt to fall into sleep after a long, terrible day. An out-of-control bliss that was impossible to hold on to. A feeling that couldn’t be forced, only surrendered to. A release even though I’d yet to climax.
She pulled her forehead from mine and started to rock forward, but I wasn’t ready. If she moved, I was going to explode. I clapped my hand onto her hip to still her. “I lied about it being years since I’ve been bare with a woman.”
My words froze her as much as my grip, a quick flash of panic crossed her eyes, and I could imagine her thoughts as she tried to make what I’d said have meaning. Had I been played? Was this why he’d insisted on the tests?
I rubbed my thumb along the back of her neck, an attempt to soothe her. “I’ve never been bare, Tessa.”
“What?” More surprise than disbelief. “You can’t mean never, never.”
It was exactly what I’d meant. “Raised to be a safety boy,” I explained. From the time I lost my virginity at sixteen, I’d always wrapped it up. No paternity lawsuits if there wasn’t a baby.
“And now...with me...why?”
“Fuck, baby. Don’t you know?” I didn’t give her time to guess. Capturing my mouth with hers, I told her I loved her with my kiss. Told her with the upward thrust of my hips. Told her with my hands as they roved along her skin, as they fondled her breasts, as they wrapped in her hair in an effort to bring her closer.
I thought the exact words over and over in my head as she bounced up and down on my cock. Each push inside her, I love you . Each second closer to my climax, I love you . The words felt tight in my throat, as tight as my cock felt inside her, and I wanted to say them—no, needed to say them—but I also needed them to be heard and believed, and saying them out loud now, while she rode me like a gorgeous fiend, would turn them into sex words said in the throes of passion; meaningless and irrational.
So I continued to tell her with my body—kissing her and loving her, forcing her to slow when she wanted to rush, patiently coaxing another orgasm from her luscious body.
“I’m coming,” I told her as I surrendered to the dizzying spiral of my own release because I wanted her to feel it with me, feel me spilling inside her and giving her what I’d never given any woman before her.
“I feel you,” she gasped. “I love how you feel coming inside me.”
As I grunted out the last of my release, I wondered if she meant more from her words too.
Afterward, we clung to each other, sticky and sweaty and spent. Her thighs straddled my lap, her head rested on my shoulder as my cock softened inside her. My hand ran up and down the length of her back, and I closed my eyes, sure I could fall asleep like this despite the fact that I was starting to lose feeling in my pelvis. I couldn’t imagine her legs could take it much longer, either, so even though I didn’t want to, I withdrew from her and shifted us so we were lying on our sides, facing each other.
She stayed close, letting me hold her, but as soon as I had worked the covers out from under us to pull over us, she closed her eyes, and from her breathing, I could tell she was not far from sleep.
A strange sort of panic tugged at me. The words stuck in my throat earlier now pushed their way up through my mouth and knocked at the inside of my lips, wanting to be let out. Needing to be said as forcefully as I’d needed to be inside her. As if this were part of that. As if I couldn’t truly be inside her without saying it.
“Hey.” I caressed my knuckles along her cheek.
Her eyes flew open at once, too fast for her to have been all the way out. But as soon as her eyes met mine, she gave me a delirious sleepy smile that told me she could still drift off soon if I let her. “Yeah?”
I didn’t think. I didn’t hesitate. “I love you.”
Now she was fully awake, her expression stunned.
“I mean it,” I said. “I can’t leave this at half riddles, simultaneously hoping and fearing you’ll guess what I mean. I just can’t. And I know it’s fast, and if you’re scared to hear it, well, I’m scared too, but I can’t let you wonder or worry or not know. I love you, Tessa. That’s why now. That’s why you. Because I’m crazy in love with you.”
She wound her arm around my neck, bringing us closer together. “Really, really?”
“Really, really.” I searched her face, dying to hear her say it too, but trying to be cool if she didn’t. “Do you... Is that...okay?”
Her eyes were glossy as she nodded. “It’s so okay.” Her voice sounded tight, and I realized she was trying not to cry. “Is it okay if I love you too?”
Greedy me, I needed to hear it for real. “Do you?”
“I do.”
I swear my heart skipped. Like a fucking schoolgirl. “It’s so okay, Tessa. Really, really so okay.”
We kissed for a while, slow, lingering kisses. Kisses that believed they had all the time in the world. Kisses that had no reason to hurry.
When at last she drifted to sleep, I wasn’t far behind. And in that moment between consciousness and void, pieces of my life that had seemed separate fit together like a puzzle. Grandpa’s story. Grandma Adeline’s inheritance. The ultimatum my father had given me. The fear I had of taking away the thing Tess wanted most.
It was all clear. The meaning of sacrifice. What I had to do.
With Tess in my arms, I fell asleep smiling and unburdened. I knew Grandpa would have the answer. Everything I’d ever known about love I’d learned from him.