Chapter 33
CHAPTER
THIRTY-THREE
TESS
E ven with the trip in the elevator, I was out of breath when I arrived at Eden’s desk on Monday morning. “Are we in the usual room?” I asked.
It was odd not having my hands in every part of the negotiation process between SIC and the DRF. Kendra was keeping me in the loop, but she’d taken over the lead. I wasn’t even sure what specifically we were discussing at today’s meeting. All I knew about it was the late-evening text I’d received from her soon after I’d gotten back to my apartment Sunday night telling me to be at SIC at 11:00 a.m. sharp.
It was not 11:00 a.m. sharp. According to the clock on the wall behind the front desk, it was 11:03 a.m.. Hence why I’d been rushing.
Eden’s mouth turned down. “Didn’t you get the message that the meeting was canceled?”
“No. I did not.”
Which was not at all her fault. It was the fault of this stupid day. As wonderful as the trip to the Keys had been with Scott, this day was terrible. First, I’d set my alarm for p.m. instead of a.m. Then, in my haste to get ready after sleeping in, I’d accidentally splattered mascara all over the pale pink blouse I’d chosen. It took me almost fifteen minutes to find something new to wear. Now that I wasn’t borrowing from Kendra, my wardrobe choices were slim as it was. With nothing I owned matching up to the caliber of what I’d worn in the past, I ended up finding a simple black A-line from Teyana’s closet.
The A-line, it turned out, was a flattering choice, and I would have been somewhat confident about my appearance had I not managed to put a rip in the seam under my right arm while I was putting it on. At least I had a cardigan to wear over, which put a damper on the look but was presentable.
After that, the day continued to go downhill. The train was late. I’d stepped in vomit. I’d forgotten my wallet (fortunately I’d had a handful of bills in my purse to get me to the city). It had decided to rain. And finally, the poop-flavored icing on the poop cake, I’d dropped my phone in the street, only to see it crushed under a garbage truck before I could get to it. I’d expected a shattered screen, but now it wouldn’t even turn on.
Which was why I hadn’t gotten the message that the meeting had been canceled.
“I’m so sorry,” Eden said. “I used the number we have on file for you. Is it not the right one?”
“I’m sure it’s correct, however, my phone’s dead.” I pulled the broken cell from my purse, not because I thought she needed proof but because I needed someone to share in my pain.
“Oh. Crap,” she said with exactly the right amount of sympathy.
“Yeah. It’s been that kind of day.” At the rate things were going, I didn’t expect it would get any better.
With a sigh, I shoved my useless phone back in my bag. “Well. Guess that changes my agenda. Did the meeting get rescheduled?”
She typed something into her computer. “Not that I can see. Do you have an alternate number I can reach you at when it gets added to the calendar?”
“No. I’ll get a new one today.” Strike that. Since I’d left my wallet home, I’d have to go all the way back to Jersey City first, and all I was doing when I got back to my apartment was crawling in bed and throwing the covers over my head. “Better yet, can you email me?”
“You got it.”
I turned away from her desk, trying to decide what to do next. My bed was indeed calling me, but on the other hand, I was already in Midtown. Already near Scott. And I missed him. Silly because it had only been eighteen hours since I’d seen him last, but after spending so many days with him—waking up with him, going to sleep in his arms—eighteen hours felt like a lifetime.
Maybe he was free for an impromptu lunch.
He’d have no problem treating me. It made me a little cringy to make that assumption, but I knew there was no way he’d let me pay anyway, so did it really matter?
I spun back around. “How about Scott? Is he available?”
Our relationship was still officially on the down-low, but after all the time we’d spent working together, it wouldn’t be odd for me to ask after him.
Or it shouldn’t have been. Eden, however, looked a bit aghast when I asked. “No. I’m afraid he’s tied up all day.” She hadn’t checked her computer this time.
I couldn’t decide if that was suspicious or not. After all, he’d probably been the one to cancel the meeting in the first place. It would have made sense that it was because something else had come up for him, and of course Eden would know that.
Still, I couldn’t help feeling distrustful.
But what was I going to do? Challenge her about it? God, I wished I had my phone. I would have just texted him privately. He might even already be trying to reach me himself.
The thought of Scott not being able to reach me made me reconsider my plans. Maybe bed would have to wait so I could get a new cell.
But I wasn’t doing anything without my wallet. So with another sigh, I thanked Eden and left the office.
Distracted as I left the building, I didn’t see Sarah Boynton from the DRF until I’d nearly bumped into her. “Oh, hi!”
She was probably coming for the same canceled meeting I’d shown up for. It was somewhat mollifying to know I wouldn’t have been the latest to arrive.
“You’re leaving?” she asked. “Is it already over?”
“The meeting’s canceled. Guess you didn’t get the message either.”
Her brows slanted in with her puzzled expression. “The press conference is still on though, right?”
“Press conference?” I didn’t know anything about a press conference.
“It was scheduled in place of the meeting. These things always start late though.” She glanced at her watch. “We’re probably right on time.”
Why hadn’t Eden told me there was a press conference? Was Kendra trying to make me look bad?
Another possibility was that Eden had ulterior motives. Considering that I was the girl currently dating the guy she liked, it seemed plausible. I wondered if she’d even actually sent a text.
Whether it was Eden or Kendra, I felt pretty certain someone was trying to deliberately keep me from the press conference.
I was definitely talking to Scott about it later.
Meanwhile… “Do you know where it’s being held?”
“I was told the pressroom is on the first floor. Let’s go see if we can find it together.”
Thankfully, the lobby signage gave clear directions, and it wasn’t hard to find where we were supposed to go. As we walked there, Sarah caught me up on the status of the deal.
“Today was supposed to be the final talk through before we sign the papers, but I guess there was some other news scandal that Henry Sebastian wants to bury, so they’re announcing our partnership early.”
“Oh, gross. Using the DRF to hide behind?” For the first time since I’d started all this, I wondered if I’d made a mistake pairing a decent, reputable organization with Sebastian Industrial.
Sarah waved it off. “That’s the nature of these kinds of things. We get something from them, of course I expect them to get something from us. I’m focusing on the good. We landed SIC!” She stopped suddenly and turned to me. “ You landed SIC. You’re amazing. Thank you, thank you, thank you. This wouldn’t have happened without you.”
With all the kerfuffle since Kendra had discovered my deceit, I’d forgotten the upside. I had done this. I’d made a difference. I’d done something good, better than good, not just for Teyana but countless other people suffering from dysautonomia disorders.
I let that wash over me as Sarah pulled me in for an embrace. “You guys deserve this. I’m so glad it worked out.”
“Me too, me too.” When she pulled away, her eyes were watery. She wiped away a tear with the back of her knuckle. “No time for that. I want to be in there when they announce this.”
We hurried the rest of the way down the hall, pausing only for Sarah to flash some credentials. Thankfully, the guard hadn’t been too concerned with her having a guest since he didn’t ask about me, and I wasn’t sure if I would have been included on the list he’d been given or not. If we hadn’t been in such a rush, I might have paused to ask, simply because I was curious.
But there were more important things happening than whatever petty beef Eden or Kendra had with me. Our deal was being announced!
And I’d thought nothing could turn this day around.
The conference room was a decent size—larger than the one the White House used but smaller than the ballroom used for the press scene in that movie Notting Hill . Despite the size, the place was crowded with reporters and cameramen. I spotted Brett and a few of the employees who had worked on the partnership in the front, but there were no seats by them that I could see.
Besides, the conference had already started. Scott stood behind the podium, looking to die for in a fitted, blue, three-piece that made his eyes as blue as the ocean we’d left behind only the day before.
Next to him stood Kendra, looking perfect in her designer pantsuit. Briefly, I wanted to rip it off her and stab her in the eyes. But only because I deserved to be standing up there instead of her, or at least with her, not because I actually had that much hate in my heart for her. Especially not when I was bursting with glee about the deal going through. At this point, I didn’t care who made it happen, just that it was happening.
Beside Kendra were a couple of people I didn’t know, though I recognized one as a doctor on the DRF board.
“That’s Dr. Faust,” Sarah whispered as we found a spot smashed up against the side wall. “And behind him is Peter. He’s the president.”
“Awful lot of men representing a women’s disease,” I grumbled.
“At least we’re being represented.”
We hushed then so we could listen to Scott continue his announcement. “...excited about this opportunity to represent an organization that deserves attention and awareness,” he said, reading from a script in front of him. “It’s past time that dysautonomia disorders be taken seriously by both society and the medical field.”
He went on, speaking to the mission of the Dysautonomia Relief Foundation and the various obstacles that stand in the way of patients who suffer from dysautonomia-related disorders. I was glad I was standing where he couldn’t easily spot me because I was sure my expression was all starry-eyed and smitten. He already knew I loved him. He didn’t need to know just how ridiculously giddy he made me when he got all in charge and business-like.
“One of the exciting aspects of this partnership,” he said after a while, “is how it came about. The DRF and Sebastian Industrial were brought together through the wonderful work of Conscience Connect, an organization that pairs companies like ours with foundations that most need sponsorship.”
He turned to acknowledge Kendra, who took a step up so she was standing at his side, and now I was less glad he couldn’t see me because I was sure my expression was full of spite because I was feeling full of spite, and I had no problem letting him know it.
“Kendra Montgomery is the CEO and founder of Conscience Connect, and more importantly, I’m happy to announce she’s also my fiancée.”
The room broke into chatter, though all I could hear was a loud whoosh in my ears as the air went out of my lungs. My stomach had dropped to the floor, and the floor had surely fallen away as well. It felt like I was sinking. Falling into a deep, deep pit. Thank God I was leaning next to the wall, or I wouldn’t have been able to stay upright.
What. The. Fuck?
What the actual fuck?
“I didn’t know they were engaged,” Sarah said with joyous amazement.
I gritted my teeth. “Neither did I.”
Because they weren’t, right? Scott had said they weren’t. He’d said that it was all going to be over, just as soon as the deal got put together. He’d said that he wasn’t going through with it. He’d said it wouldn’t ever be announced.
So why the hell was he standing in front of a room full of reporters telling them that he was?
If it had been Kendra who had made the announcement, that would have been one thing. Or his father. But it had been Scott. It had come from his own mouth.
Which meant I was a stupid, stupid fool.
A fool to believe he loved me. A fool to believe anything he’d said.
But all of it had felt so real.
I wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt and believe that those feelings couldn’t be wrong. Maybe something had happened that made him change his mind. Maybe there was something I didn’t know.
Except, that was how it was with players, wasn’t it? The very definition of what they did. They made women like me believe they were special. They made women like me believe they could be first choice. They made women like me believe that men like them were worth loving.
I was decidedly close to tears.
It was my cue to leave, but just as I started to tell Sarah, Kendra started explaining her reasons for wanting to work with the DRF, which weren’t her reasons at all. They were mine .
“Dysautonomia is very close to my heart,” she said. “I have a good friend who has suffered from POTS for several years now, and so I’ve seen firsthand what kind of impact it can have on a person’s life. I have seen how it affects relationships. How it affects a person’s ability to hold a job. It’s heartbreaking. That’s why it was so important to me to find a prestigious organization like SIC to support this sponsorship. I’m pleased to know that the DRF will be in such good hands.”
Fuck her. And fuck him too. They deserved each other.
As if he could hear my thoughts, Scott’s gaze scanned in my direction and stopped when it landed on mine. His skin paled, but his eyes were warm and pleading. I could sense him trying to pin me in place. Could practically hear him saying don’t go. Talk to me first.
But I couldn’t stay in that room a minute longer. Not without falling completely apart.
“I’m suddenly not feeling so great,” I whispered to Sarah. Not a lie. “I’m going to slip out. Congrats on the partnership.”
I turned around, and without giving her a chance to say anything, I pushed through the crowd toward escape.
The tears were brimming by the time I reached the hall, but I refused to let them fall. Not here. Not while I was still on Sebastian territory.
I was immediately grateful for my ability to hold it together because two steps down the hallway, Henry Sebastian stepped out of an alternate door to the conference room.
“Ms. Turani,” he said, forcing me to acknowledge him. “I’m glad to have caught you.”
Forcing my chin up, I gave him a tight smile. “I’m sorry, Mr. Sebastian. I don’t have time to talk right now. I’m in a hurry.”
“You have something else scheduled at the same time as this announcement? That seems odd, considering the nature of the press conference. Scott gave the impression that this sponsorship was important to you.”
Oh, God. I just. I just wanted to leave. I didn’t want to engage with this asshole.
“It is,” I said, facing him as I walked around him. “And I’m ecstatic that you’ve partnered. Now if you’ll excuse me…”
I’d managed to take three steps when he called after me. “Did you really think he’d choose you?”
I froze. Like I’d been stabbed in the back, I couldn’t move. Couldn’t take another step forward. There was a ball lodged in my throat that words wouldn’t fit around, so there was no use trying to answer.
And even if I could answer, what would I have said?
Because deep down—deep, deep, deep down, in my bones, in the very smallest parts of my existence—no, I hadn’t thought he would choose me. Because I didn’t expect anything good could ever be mine. Because I had the wrong mindset. Because I didn’t believe I was worth choosing.
“Whatever he told you, Scott knows his obligations,” Henry said, twisting the knife. “He knows what he wants to accomplish. I’m sure there’s a place for you in his life. It’s just not at his side.”
It was probably the most honest thing a Sebastian had ever told me.
And the most devastating.
And if I stayed to listen to another second more, I wasn’t sure there would be enough of me left intact to move on.
With every ounce of strength in me, I pushed my feet forward. One step, then the next. Then the next. Until I was down the hall. Until I was through the lobby. Until I was out the door.
Until I was outside, sobbing in the rain, wondering how I could have ever thought that I deserved anything more than what I always got.