Chapter 18
EIGHTEEN
Deacon
I can’t remember the last time I took a woman on a date. Once Gabby was pregnant, we’d go out to dinner. But other than that, I’m not sure I’ve ever called a restaurant and made plans.
And I didn’t want to just go into Tribeca and have dinner somewhere. Any guy she’s dating might do that. I want Aurora to remember tonight.
Which is why I’m standing in a rooftop restaurant with a view of the Empire State Building.
The lights of the city spread out in front of me, dimming out the stars in the black sky above.
There are rows of empty tables, covered in white tablecloths and flowers and then a set table for two, at the edge of the restaurant, nearest the view.
It feels like a lot. But it also feels just right.
Aurora refused to let me pick her up from her apartment, so I arrived early.
I shouldn’t have because now I’m questioning myself.
Is booking out the entire rooftop for a first date too much?
I just wanted to be away from the hustle and the bustle of the city and focus on her. I wanted it to be just the two of us.
I can’t believe how much brain space she’s occupied since she texted me, agreeing to have dinner with me. She was in my thoughts too much before she said yes, but since Sunday, she’s all I’ve thought about.
The door to the rooftop opens and I feel Aurora before I see her. Is that even possible? Could I sense a woman close to me or is it just a simple case of wishful thinking?
I turn around and it’s her.
She looks stunning. Her long brown hair is loose and curled at the edges, her hips sway as she walks towards me. She’s wearing a red dress and the outline of her breasts catches my attention. I have to do my best not to stare.
I can’t do anything but stare.
I can’t take my eyes off her.
Something in the air shifts. This is not just lust. I know how that feels and this is different.
Maybe it’s just an imminent rainstorm—a rush of negative ions.
Or is it something inside me? Some kind of instinctive reaction to Aurora.
An ingrained understanding that this woman coming towards me is important.
“Hey,” she says, as she reaches me.
It takes me a beat to find a response. I’m in sensory overload.
“Are you okay?” she asks.
“Yeah,” I say, still confused by what’s happening to me.
“Are you sure?” she asks with a smile.
“You’re beautiful,” I say. It’s not a throwaway comment.
I’m not telling Aurora something because it’s the polite thing to say to a woman who you’ve invited on a date.
I’m telling her because it’s the truth. I can’t not say it.
She’s not just beautiful, she’s the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.
“Thank you,” she says. “You always look good in a suit.” She smooths her hand down my lapel and her touch both soothes me and ignites something in me. With the physical contact, I feel inexplicably more bound to her.
She glances around. “Where is everyone?”
I blow out a breath and try to get a grip on myself. “I…it’s just us.”
“It’s just us?” she says, her eyes wide.
I shrug. “Yeah, I didn’t want to share you.” I don’t exactly understand what I’m feeling, so it’s not like I can explain it to Aurora. But now I know why I booked out the entire restaurant. Tonight is important. Aurora is important. This woman isn’t just an evening’s company. She’s so much more.
“Deacon,” she says. It’s half question, half shock.
“Let’s sit.” I need to get my shit together. I need to get to know this woman who’s sent me spinning like she has.
We make our way to the table, sit, order wine and food, and finally the servers finish bringing bread and water and wine.
“For a restaurant that’s empty apart from the two of us, it feels like there’s a lot of people on this date.” I sound irritated.
I look up and Aurora’s staring at me, her expression full of amusement. “Are you sulking because the waitstaff are doing their job?”
I narrow my eyes at her in mock annoyance at her nailing it. “Maybe.”
“Okay, glad we’ve established that. I guess some people just can’t win with you.”
“You’re right. But I think you might be the person that wins every time, no matter what you do.”
She raises her eyebrows. “You really liked those extra towels, huh?”
I can’t help but let out a half laugh. “I certainly did. They came with a kiss that was…extraordinary.”
“Wow, I’ve never heard a kiss being called extraordinary before.”
“That’s what it was.” I hold her gaze. Is she going to deny it? She couldn’t. She’d be lying. “Anything but ordinary.”
She nods, biting down on her lip. “You certainly know how to kiss.”
I let out a hum. She needs to take credit where credit’s due. “You were half of that extraordinary kiss,” I say. My gaze sweeps down to her ripe lips, wondering how long I have to wait to taste them again.
She might be wondering the same thing as she shifts in her seat as she catches a waiter approaching.
“We haven’t even had our starters and we’re talking about kissing.
” She smiles and gives a little shrug that just makes me wonder how her skin will feel under my fingers as I undress her.
“I don’t know what that means for the rest of the evening. ”
“It means we have chemistry.”
We fall silent as the waiter brings our food, but our gazes are locked like we’re just on pause, waiting to be left alone.
Is this just lust? The question swirls in my brain.
I’ve felt lust before, but this?
It’s more intense.
The waiter disappears.
Aurora’s mouth turns up at the corner.
“Tell me everything about you,” I say.
She laughs, and I can’t take my eyes off the way her chin tips up a little as she does. “Where shall I start?”
“Anywhere. What do you like to do on weekends? Have you ever parachuted out of an plane? Who was your first love?”
Her smile dims a little, and I wish I could stuff the last question back in.
Except I don’t. Because I want to know how he got it wrong so I don’t make the same mistake.
“I’ve never jumped out of a plane. On weekends, I like to hang out with my best friend, her kids, and her husband, and…
I’m not sure if I’ve been in love before.
” She presses her lips together. “But I had an epic crush.” She laughs.
“My best friend’s older brother. He lives in New York now, actually. ”
Panic crawls under my collar. “You have an epic crush on a guy who lives in Manhattan?”
“My crush is long gone. We grew up together. We never even dated. He moved to the States years ago. He’s married now.”
“Happily married, I hope.” I sound more irritated than I should.
Aurora has the grace to laugh. “Very happily married. I like her very much. They have two children.”
“So it’s a buried crush?”
“Not buried. Expired. He’s like a brother to me now. He always was, I think. No more crush.”
I nod approvingly, and Aurora laughs again. “Tell me about your love life. What happened with your daughter’s mother?”
“I wasn’t in love with her. We had a thing, the condom split, and she got pregnant.”
“That’s it? You said that already. Was your thing serious? Who called it off? I want the details, Deacon.” She smiles teasingly at me.
They feel like ridiculous questions, but I can’t blame her for asking. From the outside, it’s easy to presume that Gabby and I were serious about each other, but we never were. Even when we were living together, there was no real intimacy. There was plenty of sex. But we weren’t close.
“I’m not withholding details, honestly. There’s just nothing much to tell.
We weren’t serious. If Willow hadn’t come along, Gabby and I would have gone our separate ways a long time ago.
And there wasn’t a huge breakup. I think we both realized it wasn’t going to work.
She officially ended it, but no hearts were broken.
That’s probably why it’s so amicable between us now. ”
“Do you ever think it might be nice if you reconciled and were a family again?”
I pause to think about my response.
“Tell me what you’re thinking,” she says.
If anyone else had said this to me, I would have silently committed them to the “never want to speak to them again” bucket in my brain and then never spoken to them again.
It hits different with Aurora. There’s something in her soft gaze that tells me she really wants to know.
Her tone feels warm and safe. I want to tell her, and I never want to tell anyone anything.
I shrug. “I don’t want to be with Gabby. That’s true. But I wish I could have given Willow a more traditional family. One that Willow will be able to look back on and have happy memories of.”
“And you don’t think she’ll have happy memories now?”
“I hope she does, but they won’t be of a mum and dad and siblings and…it won’t be a traditional nuclear family.”
She nods as she stares at me, as if she’s really looking into my soul. “And you wanted to give her that traditional family because you didn’t have that for yourself,” she says.
“We moved around a lot.” I hated it. I never felt like our home was ours. It always felt temporary. I was always waiting for the next time I’d have to pack up.
“And your older sister’s death must have cloaked a lot of good memories.”
My entire body tenses. I never discuss Penny’s death. Not even with Chloe. We don’t talk about it. Most people in my life don’t know about it at all, so naturally, it never comes up.
But Aurora does know about it. I told her.
“Penny…it wasn’t that. It was the moving around.”
My gaze flits up and hits Aurora’s, who’s looking back at me.
“Gabby and I aren’t well suited, and splitting up was the right thing to do.
I just wish things had been different. But then again, I have Willow, so I also don’t wish things had been different.
The most important thing is there’s no acrimony between us.
Gabby’s happy and just got engaged to another guy. ”
“Engaged. Wow. How did you take that?” she asks.