Chapter 27
TWENTY-SEVEN
Aurora
I’m one thousand percent sure I’m setting myself up for trouble, but when I get home from work on Tuesday, all I can think about is how I have the entire evening alone, and Deacon is sitting in his hotel bedroom alone too.
Before I can talk myself out of it, I text him to see if he wants to come round for pizza. I don’t expect deserted New York rooftops and fancy dinners every time I see Deacon. I just want him here. I miss him.
He answers immediately, saying that he’ll be there in a few minutes.
This isn’t a booty call, right? And if it is, is there anything wrong with that?
No, in fact it would be better if Deacon and I were just about the sex.
I’d know I could walk away, go back to the UK without getting hurt.
But I’m not sure that’s possible anymore.
I feel myself getting deeper and deeper in with Deacon, and even though I know it can only end in heartache, I can’t stop myself.
It’s like I’m going through one-way turnstiles.
There’s no way back. I just have to keep moving forward.
I’m still pacing up and down my bedroom when the buzzer goes.
That was fast.
I press the button to let him up and lean back on my front door.
My entire life, I’ve just let things happen to me.
I ended up in hotel work because that’s where I had my first part-time job.
I mooned over my best friend’s brother for years because he was the nearest teenage boy around.
New York was about me making decisions for myself and not being so passive. Am I just repeating my mistakes?
But Deacon is far from convenient.
And I called him.
I want him.
A knock on the door makes me jump, and I turn and let Deacon inside.
His oh-so-blue eyes hold mine with such determination that it chases the breath from my lungs.
“Hey,” I say. “I wasn’t sure you’d be free.”
“You’re beautiful.” He steps forward and, in one swift movement, spins us round, cups my face, and presses his lips to mine. It’s needy and passionate, as if he’s been missing me as much as I’ve been missing him.
He steps back. “Hey,” he says. “It’s good to see you.
” He’s wearing navy joggers and a white t-shirt that clings to his chest. His hair is ruffled, and he’s sporting his off-duty grin.
He looks younger than when he’s wearing a suit, but just as sexy.
But Deacon could wear a bin bag and look sexy. It’s who he is to his bones.
“That was quite some hello. Everything okay?”
“It is now I’m here with you.”
My body flushes with heat. “Same,” I say.
He chuckles. “Same?”
I shrug. “You know.” I’m awkward. I’m full of feelings for this man, but it’s all so unexpected and unusual that I don’t know how to express them.
He scoops up my hand and pulls me into the living room. I thought we’d head straight to the bedroom and I’m kinda disappointed. Okay, so maybe this was a booty call.
“I ordered pizza,” he says. “It will be here any minute.”
“Oh,” I say. “You took my invitation to eat pizza very literally,” I say with a smile, as I sit on the sofa.
“Oh, don’t worry,” he says. “I won’t spoil my appetite. I’m going to eat you too.” He shoots me a playful grin that has my insides doing somersaults. I know not many people see the fun, relaxed Deacon, and I feel special that I’m one of those people. It’s a privilege.
“How was work?” he asks.
“Good,” I say. Should I tell him about Avril and Poppy’s offer of the manager position? It was part of my week. A big part of my week.
“Good?” he says. “What was good about it?”
“Well, occupancy is up. And it’s staying consistent. Avril and Poppy seem to want to expand, which will create opportunities.” I try to sound casual.
“Expand? Like how does that work?”
“They want to open a hotel in Boston.”
He fixes me with a look. “Boston? Why Boston?”
“I think they used to have a hotel there. Or their brother did or something.”
“Oh, yes, Worth Huntingdon.”
“You know their brother?”
“Not well. We’ve rubbed shoulders at various events. New York is a big city and it’s a small city. Is Worth involved in the hotel?”
“Not in the management of it, but I think he has a share or something.”
The buzzer interrupts our conversation, and before I can move, Deacon jumps to his feet. He comes back with a tower of pizza boxes.
“I didn’t know what you’d like, so I ordered a selection.”
“You’re crazy.” I go and grab us some drinks and napkins from the kitchen. “Do you want any condiments—scratch that. I don’t have any condiments.” I feel like I’ve barely been in this apartment. I’ve either been working, with Deacon, or exploring New York.
“What do you fancy?” Deacon asks. “We have margarita, all the meats—”
“Actually, I have very specific requirements when it comes to my pizza toppings,” I say, as I sit down next to Deacon. Our thighs and arms touch as he leans forward and flips open a box.
“Tell me about your specific requirements. Do you like meat, Aurora?” He wiggles his eyebrows at me.
“I like your meat,” I say, and he chuckles. “But not on my pizza.”
“Yeah, that would be…weird and alarming.”
“I like peppers,” I say.
“Oh, you’re a veggie girl.”
“Not generally, but yes, when it comes to my pizza, I’m all about the vegetables. For health reasons.”
He laughs and shuffles through the boxes, pulling one out from the bottom and placing it on top.
“Yeah, that teaspoonful of vegetables on your pizza is further proof that it’s good for you.
” He opens the box. “Here. Peppers. Just for you.” He pulls out a slice and holds it up to my lips, like he’s going to feed me.
All of a sudden I feel self-conscious. I sweep the feeling away and take a bite and try not to laugh at the way he’s staring at me eat.
“Jesus, you’re even sexy eating pizza,” he says as I chew.
I shake my head and swallow. “No one’s sexy eating pizza.”
He pulls out a slice of the same veggie pizza for himself. “If that’s true, you’re the exception to that rule.” He pauses. “But that’s par for the course for you.” He takes a bite of his slice.
I narrow my eyes, trying to make sense of what he just said. “What’s par for the course for me?”
He shrugs. “I’ve never introduced Willow to anyone before. Never sat and eaten pizza with a girl since university. I’ve never… I don’t know.”
Heat burrows in my chest at the thought of being the only woman in Deacon’s life to have met Willow.
I nudge him. “You’re saying I’m special,” I tease, trying to lighten the mood.
He catches my eye, and we stare at each other and the mood’s not so light anymore. His gaze is intense. Searching. It’s like he’s trying to say something without words, and I’m not sure if I want to hear it.
“Because I’m heading back to Chilternshire,” I say. “That probably makes it easier to form a connection.”
“You think?” he asks, taking another bite.
“It keeps the stakes low.” I’m not sure I believe what I’m saying.
The stakes don’t feel that low. It feels like I’m losing control of my feelings.
That’s exactly what I didn’t want to do.
I don’t want to fall for a guy like Deacon.
A man who lives three thousand miles away from me.
A man with a home life that’s totally complete.
A man not looking for a woman to fall for him.
I’ve done that before. I don’t want to make the same mistake again.
“The stakes?” he asks.
“Maybe stakes isn’t the right word. Neither of us has to worry about leading the other on, because we both know it’s going to be over.”
“Do we?” he asks.
“When I go back to England.”
He nods but doesn’t say anything.
“We can eat pizza and not worry about being sexy.”
He laughs. “You’re saying I’m not sexy when I’m eating pizza? You’re going to hurt my feelings.”
“Deacon Black, you’re sexy when you’re doing anything.”
He tosses his pizza back in the box and pulls me onto his lap. He rounds his hands over my bottom, pulling me closer so I can feel his erection.
I raise my eyebrows. “Eating pizza gets you hard?”
“Watching you eat pizza gets me hard. Sitting next to you gets me hard. Hearing your voice, feeling your soft skin next to mine. It’s all—”
I cut him off with a kiss. It’s the first time I feel like I’ve had any control over anything physical with Deacon.
He’s usually so domineering, so completely in control, that all I can do is let him do what he wants to me.
And I love that. But this? Kissing him instead of him kissing me? That’s good too.
But it doesn’t last.
He flips me to my back and is crouched over me on the sofa. “Maybe we need to work up an appetite,” he says from above.
I reach my fingers into his hair, pushing it back, out of his eyes. I slide my legs up and around his waist. “I always have an appetite for you.” He presses his lips to my neck and begins to work his way down my body.
Deacon is undeniably handsome, there’s no doubt about that, but that’s only part of this desire I have for him.
It’s so much more complicated than that.
He’s more complicated than just being a pretty face.
Everything about him has me wanting more.
The way he is with his daughter, the way he’s endured his sister’s death and his disrupted upbringing to become a successful businessman and sensitive dad, it’s breathtaking how much I like this man.
He knees up between my legs, and I gasp as he pulls off my leggings and underwear in one swift movement.
“God, you’re beautiful,” he says, his eyes trailing up my legs to between my thighs. He reaches over and shifts up my t-shirt, and I help him and pull it over my head, all too ready to have him inspect me in the way I know he likes to do.