Chapter 29
TWENTY-NINE
Deacon
I’m not a black-tie kinda guy. But I seem to wear them an awful lot.
Saturday night, I’d much prefer to be hanging out with my daughter, but given the CEO of ABC Inc.
is going to be there tonight, plus I didn’t leave until Willow was in bed, means I’m fiddling with my bow tie on my way up to the Mandarin Oriental.
As I step out into the July heat, I’m tempted to head back home. Instead, I thank my driver and move toward the hotel.
I pull my phone out of my pocket as I wait for the lift and message Aurora.
She’s out tonight at some family thing. Isn’t that what she said?
I message her, telling her to have a good time.
I stare at the screen, waiting for her to respond.
But it’s eight thirty. She’s probably already at dinner or wherever she’s going.
She didn’t say exactly. I want to suggest we both ditch our plans and go to dinner, just the two of us.
Or maybe I could get a room here and she could swing by after her thing and we could get into bathrobes and eat pizza.
I smile to myself as I make my way to the elevators.
The party started an hour ago, so I’m late. Hopefully that means the CEO of ABC Inc. will already be here. I can make a beeline for him, then wish Ryder a happy fortieth birthday and leave.
As I enter the ballroom, I spot the CEO over by the window. I head right over.
“Jason,” I say. “Good to see you.”
“Deacon. I wasn’t expecting to see you here.”
“Ryder’s an old friend,” I say.
“Same,” he says. “We met in college.”
“I don’t want to bore you with business stuff now, but do you have any time to get together before you head back to San Francisco?” I ask.
“I’m really busy. I thought you might be at the conference a couple of weeks back.”
“I couldn’t make it. I have custody of my daughter Wednesday through Sunday mornings, so I couldn’t travel.”
Jason raises his eyebrows. “Girl dad?” he asks.
“One hundred percent. I just learned how to French braid.”
He chuckles. “You’re doing better than me. I can barely manage a brush through my daughter’s hair. She screams at the tiniest touch.”
“How old is she?”
“Three. Yours?”
“Willow is six, going on sixteen. You’re still in the trenches. It gets easier.”
“My wife is pregnant with number two. It’s just about to get a whole lot harder.”
A dull ache lands with a thud in my gut. He has the perfect family I wanted for Willow. “Congratulations,” I say. “When’s she due?”
“October. This will be my last trip away from home until after the baby.”
“I get it. You want to wrap them up in cotton wool, right?”
“Right. And if you don’t get to see your daughter half the week, I’m not surprised you missed the conference. How about we grab breakfast tomorrow before I head off? I think there might be some interesting synergies that we can talk about.”
It’s just breakfast, but it feels like I scored the winning touchdown. “Sounds good.”
We’re interrupted by some people who Jason knows, and I make my excuses and leave them. I just need to find Ryder, tell him happy birthday, and I can head back downtown.
I turn and scan the crowd—and over by the window, I swear I see Aurora.
This woman is playing tricks on my brain. I’m imagining her everywhere.
The woman I’m staring at turns, and we lock eyes.
It is Aurora.
“Hey,” she mouths at me, and I start to weave in and out of the crowd toward her.
I’m vaguely aware that a couple of people call my name as I’m heading through the throng, but I ignore them. I don’t care about anything but getting to Aurora. Seeing her here…it suddenly feels like this is where I’m meant to be. She’s where I’m meant to be.
Our gazes stay locked together, and it seems to take hours to reach her.
When I do, I’m so relieved, I cup the back of her head and press my lips to hers without stopping to say hello.
Her fingers find my chest, and I push my tongue through her lips and kiss her like we’ve been reconciled after months away from each other.
She presses gently on my chest, and I pull back ever so slightly.
“Hey,” I say, full of relief that she’s here.
“Hey,” she says, grinning at me. “I didn’t expect to see you tonight.”
Someone lets out an exaggerated cough beside us.
“Care to introduce us, Aurora?” the voice says.
Aurora raises her eyebrows. “Deacon, this is my best friend, Darcy.”
I turn, reluctantly, not wanting to focus on anything but Aurora.
A woman about the same age and height as Aurora smiles at me and sticks out her hand. “Good to meet you.”
I take her hand. “Good to meet you too,” I say, and I turn my attention back to Aurora.
“So, tell me about yourself, Deacon,” Darcy says.
“Deacon?”
I recognize Ryder Westbury’s voice from behind me and turn.
“Ryder,” I say. “Good to see you.” We shake hands because we’re both British, and even though we’ve both been in the US longer than either of us were ever in the UK, some things are part of our DNA. We can’t hug. It’s genetically impossible.
“Thanks for coming,” he says.
“Happy birthday,” I say.
“I’m not sure what’s happy about it,” Ryder says with a grin.
“How do you two know each other, then?” Aurora says.
I grin at her confusion—and then realize I’m as confused as she is. “How do you two know each other?” I ask.
“We grew up together,” Ryder says, as I watch Aurora’s expression.
“We lived in the same village. The Westburys are like family to me,” Aurora says.
“So don’t think you’re stealing her away,” Darcy says. “She’s not staying in New York, even if she has been offered a big promotion.”
Promotion? I don’t let on that I don’t know what Darcy means by promotion, but I can see from her expression that Aurora feels uncomfortable that I’m finding out from her best friend something she might have told me herself.
But it’s not like she has to tell me. She doesn’t owe me anything.
“What do you mean, steal her away?” Ryder says. “Why would he steal her away? She’s already here.”
“Ryder, I’m not sure how you survive in this world. Deacon and Aurora are…having naked play dates.”
Aurora closes her eyes and tightens her jaw. “Darcy. Stop. Please.”
“Oh, was I not meant to say anything?” Darcy says, her gaze flitting between me and Aurora. She winces. “Sorry.”
“How’s business?” I say to Ryder, wanting to change the subject so Aurora can recover from her embarrassment. Aurora and Darcy break off and have a side conversation, leaving Ryder and me to talk slightly apart from them.
Ryder fixes me with a look. “Aurora is a very special woman.” He pauses. “Don’t fuck her around or I will hunt you down and kill you.”
Maybe I’m imagining it, but Ryder’s tone seems to be more intense than normal brotherly protectiveness.
“I have no intention of hurting her,” I say simply.
“Your intention doesn’t matter. What matters is that Aurora doesn’t get hurt. Don’t fuck this up.”
“Message received. I’m not…”
What am I going to tell him? That I’m not the kind of guy who fucks women around?
I’m the kind of guy who never intends to fuck women around, but I’ve definitely hurt women I’ve been involved with before.
That’s why I don’t get into anything. Too many times I’ve been accused of messing with women or leading women on. But it’s never my intention.
Now I try to highlight what I’m looking for in neon—I just want a physical relationship.
There are going to be no catching feelings.
Even then, I’ve been caught out here and there, and have been genuinely shocked when someone I’m sleeping with asks me to hang out with her friends or attend a function together.
The answer’s always no, with a follow-up of, “I don’t think we should do this anymore.
” I’ve always wanted to keep things very clear.
Until Aurora.
With Aurora, everything is different.
“She’s going back to the UK in a few weeks,” I say.
Ryder’s shaking his head. “It doesn’t matter. She’s lovely. And I won’t let anyone hurt her.”
I frown, trying to figure out where his overprotectiveness is coming from. “Are you…have you two ever been—”
“We’re like brother and sister,” he interrupts me. “We’ve known each other our entire lives. Aurora hasn’t had the best time of it when it comes to relationships, and she deserves someone who treats her heart like glass.”
Aurora and I haven’t really discussed her previous relationships. I wonder what’s happened to make Ryder so protective.
“I couldn’t agree more,” I say.
“Good,” he says.
“So get engaged or stop whatever it is you’re doing.”
I chuckle, thinking he’s joking.
The look on his face tells me he’s not.
Engaged? He can’t be serious.
“You need a drink. And so do I,” I say.
An older woman I’ve never met before interrupts us, whispers something in his ear, and Ryder excuses himself. I turn and grab a drink from a passing waiter. I take a glug, trying to process what Ryder said and whether or not it makes any sense.
Am I in danger in messing Aurora around? This wasn’t the easiest conversation to have, but Ryder’s right that Aurora’s heart should be treated like glass. Am I doing something that puts her heart at risk?
Aurora and I started from a place of having chemistry and incredible sex.
Both those things are still true, but there’s something more there too.
For both of us. But what does that mean?
I haven’t given any thought to how this might play out.
I’ve just been trying to spend as much time with her as possible.
I’ve been enjoying her. I don’t want to mess anyone around.
We both know she’s due to go home in a few weeks.
And that’s it, right?
The thought gnaws at my insides. I don’t want that to be it. I’m not ready to give her up, and I’ll probably want her to leave even less by the time she goes.
But I can’t ask her to stay. Can I? And even if I did, her entire life is in the UK.
And why would Ryder talk about getting engaged? We’ve only known each other a few weeks. We have a connection that I’ve never experienced before, she’s one of the most special people I’ve ever met and all I want to do is spend time with her, but I haven’t thought about what happens next.
What’s made me successful in business is not always getting things right, but that I don’t make the same mistake twice.
When my relationship with Gabby broke down, I was clear that I wouldn’t ever put Willow through that again.
I wouldn’t have her enduring the breakdown of her parents’ second marriage.
And now with Gabby getting engaged, I have to be the steady ship.
I have to be the parent that shows her that in the choppiest of waters, I’m her safe harbor.
Guilt floods my gut as I think about introducing Aurora to Willow. What had I been thinking? I was starting something I couldn’t possibly finish. I was just caught up in wanting to see Aurora.
Willow hasn’t formed any kind of connection to her, and I need to make sure she doesn’t. Aurora’s going to leave. I need to protect Willow from that, not expose her to it.
“Hey.” Aurora’s hand on my back pulls me from my own thoughts.
Instantly, I feel better now she’s close.
“Hi.” The collar of my shirt starts to itch.
“You okay?” she asks, tilting her head to one side, in that empathetic, caring way she has.
“Yeah,” I say. “I just have a lot on my mind.”
“Dance with me,” she says, her green eyes sparkling, her face lit up by the city lights in the plate glass windows behind her.
“Dance?”
She takes my glass and puts it on the table behind us, then scoops up my hand and leads me to the dance floor. Right now, I’ll follow Aurora anywhere she’s going and I can’t imagine ever feeling any different.