Epilogue
Sailor
The day had warmed considerably, so I wound my hair into a bun on the top of my head as I headed out to the patio. Humid air shifted sluggishly under the ceiling fans until I turned them on higher, standing beneath one for a minute to let it cool off the back of my neck.
Beneath the shade trees, a cluster of chairs sat grouped tightly together on a concrete pad, and that was where I found everyone. The scent of grilling meat followed me down the terraced slope, and I grinned at Noah when I approached.
“Everything okay?” he asked as I wrapped my arms around him.
“Absolutely.”
Benito was the only one seated, along with the sleeping toddler on his lap.
Vicki and Gio stood beside the drink cart, pouring lemonade into tall glasses of ice and arguing about whether they should add vodka to them.
Noah had been busy making lunch for most of the day and was only now taking a well-deserved break.
“Here you go,” Vicki said, handing me a glass. “We decided against making them adult beverages.”
“For now,” Gio added, handing a glass to Noah.
As soon as Vicki approached her father, he stirred from his nap, inevitably waking the baby. She fussed, but he ran his hand over her back as he tried to shush her.
“No more nap, Grandpa Nito,” she whined, climbing down from his chair.
Vicki handed the lemonade over to Benito as he sat up straighter. “It’s okay, Ava, you can go play.”
My sister-in-law had named her daughter Ava Maria to honor her late mother, though she rarely called her by her full name. It was a mouthful for a two-year-old child. She favored her father with her honeyed hair and blue eyes, but her facial features screamed Vittoria to me.
Noah wandered off to tend to the grill, and the other two followed their daughter to the swing set we’d recently put in the yard. Sighing lightly, I sat in the chair beside Benito’s and drank my lemonade.
“How is everything at work?” he asked.
Tilting my head to look over at him, I replied, “I didn't expect to be so tired after all the time I took off.”
He smiled indulgently. “I did.”
“Yeah, well, you’ve been there and done that.”
Whatever major life step I took, I could be certain Benito had done it first. His wisdom came in handy more often than not, so I always listened to his advice. For instance, when he suggested I name my son Ethan, I agreed with him.
I’d just gone inside to check on him and found him sleeping peacefully in his crib.
Thankfully, he lived in a safer world than the one I grew up in, which was mostly thanks to the Russos helping us out.
We’d let them have the Lombardi territory without argument, and in return, they’d done the cleanup.
I didn't want Noah involved in murdering his rivals, and he’d been kind enough to take that step back and let Leonardo Russo commit mayhem instead. At first, the amount of bloodshed scared me, knowing the feds were sniffing around and that it wouldn't go unnoticed.
But we truly didn't have our hands in it, especially since we were focused on Benito’s recovery at the time. The streets were safer without the ruthless men Lombardi liked to employ, and knowing we had allies in the Russo family made me feel more secure about Noah stepping up with Gio at his side.
Berkshire had texted me a few times, extending his condolences over Matteo’s death.
I told him to save his empathy for someone who cared, and then I blocked his and Lauder’s numbers.
I knew she was furious with me for turning my back on her case, and even worse, marrying the man she had her sights locked onto.
Call it going back to my roots, but I found it funny that I’d thwarted her plans.
“Is Ethan sleeping?” Benito asked me, and I blinked. I’d been in my head and had almost not heard his question.
“He is, yes.” I left the baby monitor on the side table in case he woke up, but something had made me go into the house even though I hadn't heard him stir.
Sometimes, I just wanted to stare at his face. It was a miniature version of his father’s, the dream I’d never believed would come true. I had everything I wanted, with the exception of hopefully having a little girl in due time.
“You’re a good woman, Sailor.”
I flushed. “Um, thank you.”
“I know you know how much I consider you my daughter, but I just thought you should know I see how good you are to my son. You two are a better match than I anticipated you’d be, and it makes me extremely happy to know you’re carrying on my legacy.”
Those words made me frown. “Don’t start opining about the end of your life. You’re only sixty-two.”
“Been retired for four years, though. Sometimes I can’t help but think about what I’ll leave behind.”
“Just look around.”
He smiled again, reaching out to pick up my hand. “A lot of it is thanks to you.”
His praise made me blush harder. “I had absolutely nothing to do with Vicki and Gio.”
“Okay, then some of it is thanks to me.”
I laughed. “There’s that ego I’m used to.”
“If it weren't for your forgiveness, I wouldn’t have my grandson. Hell, we wouldn't have you in our lives, for that matter.”
Some nights, I still had the same nightmare from my childhood, with one caveat: I always saw the baby-faced killer standing on the dark side of the road, scared shitless but determined to do his duty.
I wasn't stupid enough to think Noah would never pull a trigger again in his life, but I hoped he would only take that action if it was absolutely necessary.
Sadly, Benito had thought he was protecting his family by killing mine, and none of them knew at the time that it was all an elaborate plot set up by my own flesh and blood.
I’d made my peace with the past, and it no longer haunted me, but I would never forget what happened.
Though they weren’t perfect, my parents had been the good people I remembered.
Bits and pieces of them had come back to me over the years, only now I embraced those memories instead of being traumatized by them.
And I’d made a new family, which I was careful to protect with all my heart.
Noah was used to being in charge, so it took some time for us to find a rhythm where he was better at being a partner than a boss.
In our first year of marriage, we’d butted heads more times than I wanted to admit.
He would drop an order on me, and I’d immediately push back, sparking a heated shouting match.
Neither of us were particularly willing to back down.
It was actually Gio who’d saved us one day, stepping in when we let loose in front of him.
He’d pointed out that Noah spoke to me the same way he spoke to him, and how that was no way to treat your wife.
For a moment, I thought Noah would punch Gio in the mouth, but instead, he looked at me and apologized.
And when I got pregnant, I was suddenly the Madonna incarnate. I could do no wrong, could do nothing, really, with Noah waiting on me hand and foot. It was enlightening to see him so devoted to me and our growing family.
“I’m so happy, Benito, that sometimes I think I don’t deserve it.”
Reaching over, he covered my hand with his. “Of course you do. Take it from an old gangster; we all have our flaws, but we’ll answer to God for our sins in the end. In this lifetime, we take what we’re given and we hold it tightly.”
His words reminded me of the way my mother would have me recite the rosary and ask for forgiveness.
I didn't believe as wholeheartedly in God as my Catholic father-in-law or my parents, but I did believe in Karma. I’d done my best to balance all the bad energy in the world by saving lives and putting that good energy back in its place.
Maybe that was the same as Benito’s beliefs, maybe it wasn’t.
“I’m just scared it will all be taken away from me in the blink of an eye. Kind of like when my parents died and everything in my life changed.”
“You might be surprised to hear that your husband has said the same thing to me.”
With a deep frown, I glanced over at him and back to Benito. “Noah thinks I’ll leave him?”
“No.” He was quick to shake his head. “He worries God will punish him by taking you and Ethan from him. He thinks he’s evil and doesn't deserve you or any spark of happiness.”
I swallowed heavily. “And what did you tell him?”
“The same thing I told you. God’s vengeance isn’t for the corporeal world; it’s for the afterlife. But, over it all, he gives the grace of forgiveness. Otherwise, we’d all languish in Hell.”
“But you don’t figure we get what we deserve in life?”
“Hell, no, or I’d never have found my wife or had my lovely children. I’d be a bachelor living out his days alone. Or I’d be dead by now. Instead, a beautiful angel saved my life.”
That was a sore subject between us, and he knew it. “Modern medicine saved your life. I left you nearly immobile.”
“That’s pure bullshit,” he snapped, and I was a little shocked by the conviction in his voice. “It was the bullet that took my strength, but your talent saved my ass.”
We’d talked about his health and his care over the past years, but I’d known at the time that no matter what, I absolutely had to keep him alive for Noah’s sake. I’d acted on instinct, not thinking about my actions but simply doing them as I’d learned.
“Thanks to you, I’m able to play with my granddaughter, albeit not as tirelessly as her. I can hold my grandson, I can hug my daughters when the whim strikes, and I breathe in and out every goddamn day, waking every morning with gratitude in my heart.”
Tears pricked at my eyelids. I didn't consider myself anyone’s savior, but that was how Benito made me feel. “I’m the one who’s grateful.”
“We all feel that way.”