8. Thrash
Chapter 8
Thrash
I wake up the next morning, the bed beside me cold and empty.
“Baby girl?” I try to call out, but my voice is still raspy from sleep.
Listening for a second, my stomach sinks as I’m greeted with nothing but silence.
She left. I know she did. Probably had Janie or Mari come get her sometime after I fell asleep. Damn.
“Addie?” I try one more time.
I get out of bed, pulling on a pair of sweatpants.
“Fuck,” I mutter under my breath, rubbing my hands over my face before I head out into the living room.
Just as I enter, I catch a glimpse of her through the window, standing on the porch as she drinks a cup of coffee. I could stare at her like this all damn day.
Her hair is pulled up in a messy bun. She’s just wearing one of my T-shirts and her panties. Thank fuck I don’t have neighbors close by. This spectacular view of her is not one I want to share with anyone else.
She’s all mine.
She looks so goddamn beautiful standing there in the early morning light. I watch as she takes a sip of coffee, her eyes closing in pleasure. The way her throat moves as she swallows has my cock straining against my pants, and I have to take a deep breath to calm myself down.
She drives me fucking crazy.
I step outside, and say, “Thought you ran off again.”
She turns to me and smiles. “Not this time. Sorry I scared you.”
“It’s okay.” I wrap my arms around her, pulling her against my chest. “I’m just glad you’re still here. Not that you should have left in the first place.”
“I know. I won’t run anymore.”
“Promise?”
“Yes.”
I kiss her forehead. “I’m gonna make some breakfast. You hungry?”
“Starved.”
We go back inside where I cook us scrambled eggs, bacon, and pancakes.
The two of us eat and talk about all the nerdy things we both love. The same argument of whether Star Wars or Star Trek is superior comes up again for the millionth time. I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of debating her. I swipe a piece of bacon off her plate, she threatens to stab me with her fork. I can’t stop smiling, and neither can she.
After breakfast, she helps me clean up and we head to the couch to snuggle and watch TV. I can’t wait to get inside of her again, but if cuddling is all she wants for now, then cuddled is what she’s gonna get.
We sit down, and she snuggles up against me, her head on my chest. I run my fingers through her hair, enjoying the feel of her in my arms.
“Can we just stay like this forever?” she asks.
“Sure, baby.”
“Good.” She lets out a contented sigh. “I could get used to this.”
“Me too.”
We stay like this for a while, just enjoying each other’s company. Eventually, though, nature calls, and I have to piss. I shift, trying to move without disturbing her. She grumbles but lets me get up.
When I come back, she’s sitting up, and her phone is in her hand. “What’s wrong?” I ask, noticing the frown on her face as she stares at the screen.
“I... I did one of those DNA tests about a year ago... Just out of curiosity, I guess, but no close relatives ever showed up,” she says, her brows scrunching together as she pauses like she’s trying to figure out what to say next. “I just got a message from my father.”
“What the fuck?” I ask.
“Yeah, exactly.”
I sit down beside her, watching her as she processes. Her face is pale, and her hands are shaking slightly. “What did he say?”
“He said he’s been looking for me for years and decided to do the DNA thing to see if I’d done one, too.”
“Are you okay?”
“I don’t know... He says he’s been looking for me for the last few years. He knew when I’d turned eighteen, and started looking, assuming I’d been adopted... Here just read his message.”
I take the phone from her and look at the screen where she has the message pulled up.
Hello, Addison. My name is Nate Matheson. I don’t know where to start or really what to say, so I’ll just say it. I am so happy to have found you on here. I’ve been looking for you for the last few years. I didn’t want to rock the boat with you and your adopted family, so I wanted to wait until you were an adult to try and find you. I don’t know if you’d be open to meeting me or talking on the phone or just messaging, but I’m willing to do whatever you’d like. There are some things I’d like you to know about me and about your mother. Even if you decide not to pursue a relationship with me, you deserve to know where you come from. Please do not hesitate to reach out to me.
Handing her phone back to her, I take a deep breath and say, “Are you going to respond?”
“I don’t know,” she says, and there’s a break in her voice. Her eyes look like glass, so I pull her close. “This is all I’ve ever...” Her words trail off as I can tell she’s trying to hold back tears.
“Feel what you need to feel, baby girl. I’m right here with you, no matter what you decide to do.”
She nods, leaning into me. “Yeah, I’m just... I don’t know. Shocked, I guess. I’ve wanted to know my father for so long. I never knew anything about him, where he was, if he was even still alive. I wondered so many times why he didn’t come for me. Why didn’t his family come for me? Hell, why didn’t my mother’s family want me?”
“Maybe he did want you, but there’s some reason he couldn’t... Maybe he really has been looking for you.”
“Maybe... He wants to meet.”
“How do you feel about that?”
“My instinct is to tell him hell no, and to protect my heart, but all I’ve ever wanted was to look at someone and know that I belonged.”
“You don’t have to decide right now. Why don’t you sit with this for a minute before you respond. If nothing else, maybe text for a while, have a few phone conversations, then see if it feels right.”
“Yeah, you’re right. That’s what I’ll do.”
I hold her tight, not sure how to process what’s just happened. It’s fucking crazy for me to hear. I can’t imagine what it’s like for her. I’m happy for her, but also worried. What if he’s a dirtbag who will only bring her more pain? What if he’s trying to scam her somehow? Worse yet, what if he really has been looking for her, but he ends up abandoning her all over again?
I want to be positive, to tell her it’s all going to be okay, that she’s finally found her family, but that part of me that wants to protect her is making it difficult. I don’t know how this is going to shake out.
But one fucking thing I know for sure is that I’ll be there to cheer her on, or I’ll pick up the pieces if I have to.
I’ll make sure she knows she damn well does belong somewhere.
With me.