Chapter 44
Chapter Forty-Four
Claudia
She’s not down at her old house,” Sam exclaims, slamming the front door behind him. Heidi’s clutching his hand so tightly her knuckles are white, eyes wide with worry.
“Shit,” Rayden mutters, dragging a hand through his hair. “I never should’ve let her talk me into—”
“Don’t beat yourself up, mate,” Jace cuts in, clapping his palm on Rayden’s back. “You didn’t know.”
“Jace is right,” Jordan murmurs, his hand resting on the small of my back.
I exhale, leaning into his warmth. It’s just the six of us.
All standing in Zac and Emilia’s living room, tense and restless.
The air’s thick with panic and exhaustion, the clock showing that it’s just past three in the morning.
Heidi sniffles, and Sam rubs her back, biting aggressively at his lip. My stomach’s been twisting since the moment I realised Emilia wasn’t downstairs.
“I checked the girls’ house,” Heidi whispers. “She’s not there.”
“Brook House, too,” Sam says.
“Where else would she go?” I ask.
Heidi bites her lip, removing her hand from Sam’s and moving to the window, staring out at the street. “The Market Square?” she offers weakly.
Jordan shakes his head. “No chance. It was crawling with Enforcers when I checked. If she went there, they’d have grabbed her by now.”
Rayden snorts. “She wouldn’t go there, anyway. She hates that place. I checked our old school and the riverside paths. Nothing.”
“What about the river?” Heidi asks suddenly, voice cracking. “The actual river. Do you think she would have—”
“Don’t,” Sam interrupts sharply, pulling her back into his arms. “Don’t even say it.”
The silence that follows is heavy as dark thoughts weigh on the room. I swallow, the emptiness in Emilia’s eyes flashing behind my own.
“She wouldn’t,” Jordan says at last, tone firm. He’s trying to sound sure, but I can hear the tremor beneath his words. “Emilia’s okay. We just… We need to stay calm.”
“Stay calm?” Rayden repeats, a bite to his voice. “She’s been missing for hours, Jordan! It’s the middle of the night—”
“Enough,” I cut in. “Yelling isn’t going to help.”
The uneasy quiet that follows feels endless. The old clock ticks once, twice. I can hear my heart pounding in my ears.
“She doesn’t even like Zac,” I finally say, the words slipping out before I can stop them. I’m trying to convince myself as much as them. Four heads turn towards me. “She wouldn’t risk everything just for—”
Sam scoffs, bitter and raw. “That’s the biggest lie I’ve heard all week,” he says. “And I sat through that damn trial.” I turn to Jordan. He’s staring at the floor, jaw tight.
“There’s only one thing we can do,” I say softly to him.
He lifts his head slowly, eyes meeting mine. For a long moment, no one speaks. Finally, my husband nods. “Yeah,” he says. “There is.”
“What do you mean?” Jace asks.
I glance at Jordan before answering. “We’re going to find her.”
Jace frowns. “Yeah…?”
“No,” I say firmly. “Jordan and I will find her. You all need to stay here.”
“What?” Rayden explodes, stepping forward. “Are you out of your mind? You think we’re just going to sit here whilst you two—”
“You have to trust us,” I cut in, forcing the words past the lump in my throat. “Please. Just this once.”
“Trust you? I don’t know you!” Rayden scoffs, voice rising. “You’re asking us to do nothing? What if she’s hurt? What if she’s—”
“We aren’t asking you to do nothing,” Jordan snaps.
Rayden steps closer. “Then why the hell aren’t we all going?”
“Because we have to do this alone.”
Rayden’s nostrils flare. “Then tell us where you’re going!”
“I can’t.”
“Bullshit, you can’t!”
The two of them are almost nose to nose, fury crackling between them. Sam moves forward like he might intervene, but freezes as Jordan’s voice drops lower.
“I said no, Rayden.”
Rayden’s jaw tightens, eyes blazing as he squares up to my husband.
Heidi lets out a small sob, the sound shattering through the anger that clouds the room. “Please,” she whispers. “Please, stop.”
Jordan’s anger drains away. He dips his head, retreating to my side, hand instantly toying with the fabric at the base of my spine. Rayden’s still furious, his eyes blazing, but he gives Heidi a small nod.
“Claudia,” Sam says softly. “Why can’t you tell us? If you know something that’ll help Mils…”
I hesitate, glancing at Jordan. His eyes meet mine, calm and steady. He nods, telling me he’s got my back. I turn back to the group and take a deep breath. “We have… resources,” I say slowly. “Someone we know has… access to all the cameras around the city.”
Everyone stares at us.
“What?” Rayden’s voice is barely more than a whisper, thick with disbelief.
“You heard me,” I say. “Every camera that still works in Nottingham. We can find her faster if we go to him.”
“Him,” Sam echoes. “Who? How?”
“That doesn’t matter,” Jordan says, cutting in before I can answer. “It matters that we use it. Right now.”
Rayden’s expression twists. “You can’t expect us to let you go alone. I’m coming—”
“No.” Jordan’s tone is final.
“Like hell I’m staying put whilst she’s—”
“Rayden.” Heidi places a hand on his arm and lifts her chin. “Let them go.”
He stares at her. “You can’t be serious—”
“I am,” she insists. “If they have a way—any way—to find Mils, we have to let them try.”
He looks at her for a long moment, chest heaving. Jace slaps a supportive hand on his shoulder, standing by whatever his mate is about to decide. Slowly, Rayden exhales, shoulders dropping, before finally, he nods.
“Thank you,” I whisper.
Heidi’s eyes are glassy. “Bring her back.”
I swallow hard, forcing myself to nod as Jordan leads me to the door with his palm pressed to my spine.
I don’t glance back when we step into the cold night.
Jordan digs a torch out of his black denim jacket, turning it on.
We walk in silence, the street empty and eerily quiet.
Somewhere in the distance, a truck roars, faint and far away.
Without a word, Jordan’s hand reaches for mine, squeezing tightly. “We’ll find her,” he says, low and steady.
I nod, but when I speak, my voice cracks. “Do you think Heidi was right? About the river… that Emilia might’ve…” I can’t bring myself to finish.
Jordan shakes his head. “No. Not a chance.” His voice softens. “The way Zac looked at her in that courtroom. The way she looked at him. The rest of us didn’t exist.”
A small smile tugs at my lips. “You noticed that, too?”
“Hard not to. Those two…” He shakes his head. “They’re utterly fucked when it comes to the other.”
I let out a quiet laugh. “Yeah,” I whisper. “They are.”
“They’re in for a hell of a ride when he gets out of Killmoor,” Jordan says.
I slow a little. “If he gets out,” I say without thinking. He halts, snapping towards me. Jordan’s hands lift, gripping my face, his palms cold against my skin. His eyes burn into mine, steady and fierce.
“Don’t,” he says softly, but there’s steel behind it. “Don’t ever say that again.”
“Jordan—”
“No.” His thumbs brush my cheeks. “Zac’s a strong fucker. He’s made it through so much shit, and he’ll make it through this, too. You know why?”
I don’t answer.
“Because he’s got more than one thing to live for now.”
The words settle between us—comforting and warm.
I nod, my throat tight. “Okay,” I whisper. “Okay.”
He lets his hands fall slowly, caressing my arm before taking my hand again.
Her sprawling blonde hair is the first thing I see. It fans out over the gravel, catching in the moonlight. She’s lying beside the train tracks, arms outstretched with her eyes fixed on the dark sky above. A foot away from her prone body, a bottle of alcohol is discarded on its side—entirely empty.
“Emilia?” Jordan calls out. She doesn’t respond.
Slowly and quietly, we approach. Jordan sinks down beside her, perching on the broken train track as I kneel next to him, my own hair tumbling over my shoulders.
“Emilia?” I say softly. My gaze darts to the empty bottle, and my mouth dries as I take it in, panic stirring in my gut. My attention snaps back to her and I’m just about to shake her when Emilia’s eyes flutter open.
They meet mine, and as though a dam breaks and reality finally hits, tears spill down her cheeks, thick and fast.
“What am I doing?” she exclaims.
Quickly reaching out, I tug the broken girl into my arms. “You’re lost. It’s going to be okay.”
“You don’t know that!”
“I do,” I reply, voice quiet. “Zac is strong, Em. He’s going to make it through this.”
Her body shakes with sobs. Over Emilia’s head, I glance at Jordan, the look on his face so heavy and helpless that it hits like a punch, deep in my chest. My vision turns glassy.
She sniffles against my hair. “How did you find me?”
Jordan smiles. “We have our resources.”
Emilia stiffens, quickly pulling out of my arms, and I wobble, nearly falling back before grabbing Jordan’s shoulders to steady myself.
“What resources?” she snaps.
My brow furrows. “Emilia?”
“What. Resources?” She sways, her eyes glassy, and she falls to the side, emptying the contents of her stomach onto the train tracks.
Jordan drops the crust of his sandwich into the bin before sliding his feet into his boots, one hand gripping the back of the dining chair for balance. I watch him, arms crossed.
“She deserves to know,” I say sharply.
Jordan doesn’t look up. “It’s dangerous,” he mutters, reaching for the laces. “Zac didn’t want her involved.”
“She says he did. He was going to tell her—”
“We don’t know what he was planning on telling her. Or how much of it, if any.”
I take a step closer. “She needs this, Jordan. She hates the State as much as we do.”
He pulls the laces tight. “It’s not our call.”
“Then whose is it? Zac’s gone for a month, and we don’t even know how he’ll be when he returns.”
His eyes flick up, a crease between his brows. “He trusted us to keep her out of this,” he says. “That’s what we’re doing.”
“Keeping her out?” I repeat. “You mean, keeping her in the dark. She knows something is going on—”
“It’s not a game, Claudia. People get killed for being in the Resistance.”
“And yet you brought me into it.”