5. Not Her, Too
Not Her, Too
Ruel waited for himself to feel something as he watched the water slowly turn pink.
He stood under the shower, perfectly still, perfectly silent.
The water did its work like it always did.
The blood being gradually washed away from his body until the last of the pink water disappeared into the drain.
He stepped out of the shower and changed.
The mirror had fogged over completely, and while seeing his reflection wasn’t of interest to him, Ruel had just come back from a job, and there were protocols he had to follow.
It took less than a minute to clear up the fog. Then another minute to examine his face. He had protocols for this, too. Check for any wound or any fresh nick. Check for the tiniest drop of blood that the shower, however improbable, might have missed.
And once done…
He sat down behind his desk.
This, too, was part of protocol.
He needed time to decompress, time to feel less tainted even though that taint…
It would always be with him.
Because of his father.
He just needed more time to make himself forget that it was there.
* * *
Ruel wasn’t sure how much time had passed before he finally opened his laptop. He had files for every rescue, and he was meticulous when it came to updating them. It was all part of protocol, and the routine helped keep him sane.
Individual: #86
Sex: F
Status: Safe
He found himself looking at that word for a long, long time.
This was the eighty-sixth person connected to his father. The eighty-sixth individual who was now marked safe, their life changed. If he dug deep enough, he knew this girl wouldn’t be the last. And normally, before Case #86 was over, he would have information for Cases #87-89 already lined up.
But this time…
This time, it was different.
This time, the urge for atonement had faded.
This time, he was ready to start anew.
With her.
His wife.
Karyna.
The memory of her came to him like a scent he remembered from childhood. She reminded him of cotton candy.
Sweet. Innocent. Forbidden.
Eighteen months ago, he was at the hotel lobby when she walked in. That was the first time he had seen her, and that first time was enough.
Dark-haired. Petite. Curvy.
He remembered thinking how expressive her face was, and when he realized who she was with, he remembered wincing because he could tell right away—
She was obviously bad.
Really, really bad at seeing evil, even when it was standing right in front of her under the guise of a "stepfather" who'd lost his way.
But because he was not exactly a good man either…
Ruel had done nothing to make her see what was real.
When she had come to him for help, panicky and terrified as she told him about being forced into marrying Konrad—
He could have told her he believed her.
He could have let her know then and there that he knew who Konrad was. In fact, Konrad, with his link to Case #74, was the reason Ruel was there.
He could have gotten her out and on a flight back to America with a snap of his fingers.
But instead he ended up lying to Karyna…and himself.
He told her that marriage was the only way to keep her safe, and he convinced himself that was true.
But guilt had eaten him alive as soon as she became his wife. He had even planned to tell her the truth…until she knocked on his door. He had tried his best to remain level-headed, but when he asked her if she was sure, and she had shaken her head while gobbling him up with her eyes…
To this day, that had been one of Karyna’s most adorable moments.
And the more adorable she was, the less he was in control.
Karyna at her most adorable was Ruel at his weakest.
That was how Ruel ended up taking her virginity on her very first night as his bride, and when he woke up the next day and told himself he would admit everything to her—
She had opened her eyes, looked at him with eyes that continued to gobble him up, saying in a tremulous voice—
I’m sorry for taking advantage of you.
That was another adorable moment, and that was when Ruel had thought to himself—
I give up.
He had reached for his wife and made love to her until she was begging for rest. Made love to her until she had forgotten her name. Made love to her until she had finally fallen into a state of exhausted sleep.
He had held nothing back.
And had never held himself back after that.
Because it was clear to him by then.
Once again, he had fallen in love.
Harder and faster, too.
And that terrified him because the last time he was in love…
* * *
She was his best friend. Had known him all her life. But when his father died, and the reporters somehow found out he was the son of a notorious mob boss—
He had seen it with his own eyes.
The way her face had changed. The way she herself had changed.
He didn’t think he would ever forget how she had looked at him like the sins of his father were also his sins.
She had given him back her ring and told him it wouldn’t work between them.
And when he had married Karyna, and he had watched himself slip a ring onto her finger, Ruel remembered thinking to himself that day—
One day, she could do the same.
And even now, he still had that thought.
The possibility still lingered at the back of his mind, and it tormented him the most when he was alone…like now.
Most times, the more distance there was between him and his safe house, where he kept all his files, the more the fear of losing her would fade.
But this time, it was different.
This time, even when he had already driven back to the port, the fear still lingered, and he found himself reaching for his pocket until he had in his grasp the tiny velvet box that contained the ring he had bought on impulse a few weeks ago, on an overnight trip to Paris for Case #84.
This ring used to give him peace. Even hope. But now, it was just…different, and every second that passed had him increasingly on edge.
Everything could still go wrong.
She could still say no.
She could still leave him.
Ruel’s brooding silence communicated itself to Chadwick, who gunned the engine of the speedboat as soon as his boss was on board. When the billionaire was in this kind of mood, the sooner they made it back to where the yacht was moored, the better and safer for everyone.
They were still a small distance away from the yacht when Ruel noticed something unusual. Every evening, Karyna would make sure the yacht was lit up from bow to stern, which she once told him was her way of welcoming him home, no matter what time he came back.
But now, everything was dark, and that…
That wasn’t right.
He tapped Chadwick on the shoulder, and the older man quickly killed the engine.
This was another one of his many protocols that he had his most trusted staff rehearse and review periodically, in case something were to happen to him…or worse, to his wife. He had hoped they would never have any need to use it, but life as he knew it…
You just can’t give me a break, can You?
The words that unfolded in his mind were more cynical than bitter. They were also completely unplanned and unexpected. Ruel had never been the type to talk to Him, and in fact, he didn’t even want to think about who that was.
That was just a moment of insanity, he told himself as he and Chadwick parted ways, with Ruel heading for the cabins while the other man circled to the back.
His steps fell noiselessly against the carpeted hallway, his gun out, his attention divided between his surroundings and the app on his smartwatch, which showed real-time footage of various sections of the yacht.
Lower deck. Empty.
Salon. Empty.
Corridor. Empty.
No signs of struggle or intruders.
But there was also no sign of Karyna in the places she would usually wait for him, in case he came home early for dinner.
He checked the cabins one at a time, his heartbeat thunderous, all the while resisting the urge to talk to Him.
If something did happen to Karyna…
Then that was just more proof that He was not to be trusted.
And yet…
Ruel stiffened when he saw the light seeping out from under the door to their cabin.
If Karyna was inside…why had she not come out?
He slowly opened the door, finger on the trigger…
Her stunned, stricken gaze clashed with his through their shared reflection on the glass doors of the balcony.
Why?
She spun around, her movements more jerky than adorably clumsy. Her face was pale, almost as if she had seen a ghost…and that ghost was him.
Why?
Behind Karyna, her luggage lay open on the bed, half-full of her clothes.
Why…was she leaving him?