Chapter 34
“Okay, but is this a refrigerator or a cooler?”
I stepped into my suite at Mile High Arena in time to see Smash staring into the under-counter refrigerator drawer like he’d discovered a portal to another dimension.
“There’s a plug,” Molly said. “It’s a refrigerator.”
He closed it, then pulled it open again. “But it doesn’t have a door. Refrigerators have doors.”
“You’re such an idiot.”
Smash shrugged, then grabbed two sodas and headed for the buffet.
The suite was already full, and the game didn’t start for another two hours. The Mayhem kids crowded the glass overlooking the ice while everyone else claimed the tables and couches inside. I’d ordered enough food for thirty people, but judging by the plate Jace carried past me, I’d underestimated.
“Please tell me that isn’t all for you.”
Jace looked down at the mountain of chicken fingers on his plate, then took two more sliders off the buffet.
“Those are for me,” Pickles called.
Jace dropped a slider onto his plate, then walked away with the other.
“Hey!”
“I’m a growing boy.”
“You’re sixteen,” Molly said.
“Exactly.”
Beckett reached over and stole two chicken fingers off his plate. “Dad tax.”
“Bullshit,” Jace muttered.
From the table, Ty pointed toward the door. “Lap.”
“Around the suite?”
“Keep talking, and you can run the arena.”
I barely held back my laugh, taking in the room.
It was family weekend for the Yeti, and this was the biggest crowd that had ever shown up for me.
Emmy, Daisy, and Stevie stood near the dessert table while Stevie’s sons taught Harper and Leena how to lick the icing off a cupcake.
Shannon helped Lori out of her coat, and Tate sat in the front row, already looking down at the rink.
Logan leaned against the bar with a plate in his hand, lifting a slider toward me. “There he is. The Silent Giant himself.”
“Don’t you have somewhere else to be?”
“This is where the free food is.”
“It’s free downstairs.”
“Tastes better when it’s on your tab.”
Leena turned when she heard my voice, her Yeti jersey hanging almost to her knees. “Dada!”
I caught her before she collided with my legs and lifted her into my arms. “Hi, kulta.”
She grabbed both sides of my face and planted a sticky kiss on my nose, leaving a trail of icing behind.
“That’s disgusting.”
Leena giggled and did it again.
Shannon stopped beside us, wearing a black skirt, tights, and a band tee with a lace long-sleeve shirt underneath. But instead of her typical flannel shirt tied around her waist, it was my jersey.
I wrapped an arm around her and pulled her closer.
“Aren’t you supposed to be getting ready?” she said, her hand resting on my chest.
“I have a few minutes.”
“You mean you wanted to make sure everyone appreciated the way you spoiled us.”
I gestured at the half-empty buffet. “Clearly, it wasn’t enough.”
Jace was already at the buffet again, grabbing even more food.
“That kid is a bottomless pit,” Shannon said. “Last night he ate an entire pizza and then asked what was for dinner.”
“He has a game tomorrow, right?” Logan said around a mouthful. “He’s carb-loading. He’s an athlete.”
“He’s young and growing, but you two are old and deteriorating, so what’s your excuse?”
I pinched her side, drawing a high laugh out of my wife.
She squirmed away, and Leena immediately copied me, trying to tickle Shannon.
“Et tu, tiny traitor?”
Leena babbled a response that wasn’t Finnish or English, but had so much expression, I could tell she was amused.
The suite door opened behind us, and I turned to see who else was here. Leena looked behind us too, then practically launched out of my arms when my mom came in. I set her down, and she raced across the room as Mom wheeled inside.
“My sweet girl.” Mom barely had time to lock her wheels before she caught my daughter against her chest and kissed every inch of her face. “I missed you so much.”
Leena patted Mom’s cheeks talking in a combination of English, Finnish, and words only she understood.
Mom looked up at us, tears shining in her eyes. “She has so many words now.”
“That’s because her mama is brilliant,” I said.
Shannon turned toward me, a smile pulling at her lips. Even after weeks of Leena calling her Mama, the word still softened every sharp edge she had.
“I don’t think I get all the credit here,” she said.
Dad stood behind Mom, looking around the room. A framed jersey I’d worn in last year’s Stanley Cup hung on the wall, along with several other memorabilia from my time here with the Yeti, and yet this was his first time seeing it.
He’d called several times since Christmas, but I hadn’t answered. I didn’t know what to say to him, and I had no reason to believe another conversation would end differently from the others. Still, his attention moved around the crowded suite before settling on me.
“Mikko.” He put his hands into his coat pockets. “Can we talk?”
Shannon’s brow arched, the question in her expression clear. But just as she’d faced down her brothers on her own, this battle was mine to fight.
I kissed her temple. “Two minutes.”
“Three, max. Then I’ll come rescue you.”
Dad’s mouth tightened.
Shannon smiled sweetly at him, the expression not meeting her eyes.
I gestured toward the hallway. “Come on.”
The suite door closed behind us, muting the noise inside. Dad looked down the empty corridor but didn’t speak. I waited him out, used to this game.
“Your mother says I owe you an apology,” he finally said.
“Is that why you asked me out here?”
“No, she’s told me that many times.”
I sighed, tired of this same conversation.
Dad shifted his weight. “Shannon’s protective of you.”
“Yes.”
“And you love her.”
“Very much.”
His gaze moved toward the suite door, looking uncomfortable with every word that came out of his mouth. “You look happy.”
“That’s because I am.”
He hummed, looking at the wall next to me rather than my face.
But I didn’t have time for these stunted, pointless conversations. “Listen, I need to—”
“I thought she was dying,” he said, then cleared his throat. “Every day, the doctors told me about something else your mother lost. Her career. The use of her legs. The life we thought we’d have with you. I sat beside her unconscious body, waiting for them to tell me she was gone too.”
He swallowed before continuing.
“When she came home, I was afraid every time she moved without me. Every time she left the house. Every time she tried something new. Eventually, she told me I was making her life smaller so I could feel safe.”
“That sounds like Mom.”
A brief smile crossed his face.
“But the fear didn’t go away,” he said. “It moved.”
“To me.”
Dad met my eyes. “Every time you stepped onto the ice, I saw everything that could happen. A bad hit. A skate blade. Your head against the boards. I couldn’t watch.”
“You pushed me harder than anyone.”
“I told myself if you were prepared enough, disciplined enough, then you’d be safe. But now, I realized I pushed you so hard, I pushed you away.”
“You made me feel like I was never good enough.”
His face tightened. “I know.”
“You left games without saying anything. You criticized every mistake. Even when I made it to the NHL, it wasn’t enough. You kept me off the Olympic team.”
“You’d just come back from knee surgery. I couldn’t have you get hurt again, not on my watch.”
“So, you humiliated me instead.”
“Yes.”
The answer landed harder than an excuse would have, but dammit, I believed him.
Dad looked toward the ceiling. “I love you so much, I somehow convinced you I didn’t love you at all. And for that I’m sorry.”
I understood his fear now, but understanding didn’t erase what he’d done with it.
“I needed my father,” I said. “Not another coach.”
He nodded, his shoulders sagging.
“I don’t know how to forgive you yet.”
Dad gave a small dip of his chin. “I don’t expect you to.”
The suite door opened and Shannon leaned into the hallway, one hand gripping the frame. “Your three minutes are up.”
“I’m okay,” I told her.
Her gaze moved between Dad and me. “Are you sure?”
“Yes.”
She stepped inside again, but left the door cracked.
Dad watched her go. “She doesn’t like me.”
“Not even a little.”
“I deserve that, too.”
“You do.”
Something close to a laugh escaped him.
I rubbed a hand over the back of my neck, trying to figure out where we went from here. “I can’t pretend none of it happened, but maybe we can start again.”
Hope crossed his face so quickly that I almost missed it. “I’d like that.”
I held out my hand, but he ignored it, pulling me into a hug instead. I stayed stiff for a second before his hand settled behind my head, holding me the way he hadn’t since I was a child.
“I’m sorry, Miksu,” he said, his voice breaking. “I’m so sorry.”
My throat closed. I gripped the back of his coat and let that be enough for now.
When we returned to the suite, Shannon’s attention went straight to me.
She stood beside Mom’s chair while Leena sat in her lap, eating yet another cupcake.
I was positive we’d regret this later, but I trusted Shannon’s judgment—she was as protective of our daughter as I was, even against self-induced tummy aches.
The moment I smiled at Shannon, the tension left her shoulders. It was strange to think of her as a teammate, but that’s exactly what this was. I had her back, and she had mine, forever and always.
Dad stopped in front of her, holding out a hand. “Shannon.”
She lifted one dark brow, putting her hand hesitantly in his. “Jari.”
“I’d love it if you came to Finland this summer.”
She glanced at me, and I gave her a small nod when they shook hands. “That sounds lovely.”
“You can meet the rest of our family,” Dad said. “See where Mikko grew up.”
“I’d like that.”
“Good.”
Dad went to pull his hand back, but Shannon tightened her grip. “If you hurt him again, you should know I can hold a grudge for far longer than you’d ever believe.”
“Shannon,” I murmured.
She dropped his hand, batting her dark eyelashes at me. “We don’t lie, right, Mikko?”
Dad looked at me, then at my mom, his gaze lit with amusement. “She’ll fit right in, it seems.”
“I like her,” Mom said.
I wrapped an arm around my wife’s shoulders, tugging her into my chest and kissing her temple. “Me too.”
From across the room, Logan shouted, “Family therapy is great, but some of us have a hockey game to play.”
I turned toward him. “Why are you still here?”
He finished off a Gatorade, then jabbed a thumb toward the door. “Waiting for you, bud.”
I kissed Mom’s cheek, then Leena’s. Shannon slid her arms around my neck and kissed me while the Mayhem kids made gagging noises behind us.
“Play nice,” she murmured against my mouth. “Don’t score any goals.”
“No.”
“Good answer.”
By the time I stepped onto the ice for warmups, the arena was full. The lights flashed across the stands while music shook the glass. I took my usual route around the outside, letting my edges bite into the ice before looking up at the suite.
Smash had both hands cupped around his mouth, already trying to shout loud enough for me to hear.
Molly shoved him out of the way so she could wave.
Jace held up a sign they’d drawn with Bigfoot on one side and Silent Giant written on the other.
Mom sat near the glass with Leena in her lap, Dad behind them.
Shannon was in the middle of everyone, smiling back at me.
At the beginning of the season, I’d searched the stands for someone who wasn’t there. Now, when I looked up, my whole life was waiting for me.
And when the puck dropped, I was ready.