SOLEI
The first thing I felt was pain. Not the dull ache of a headache or the soreness from sleeping wrong, but sharp, throbbing agony that radiated from the left side of my skull down through my jaw and into my teeth.
My mouth tasted like copper and something else I could not identify.
My tongue felt thick and dry, like I had been breathing through my mouth for hours.
I tried to open my eyes, but the light was too bright and sent a wave of pain through my head.
I squeezed them shut and tried to remember where I was and why everything hurt so much.
After a few moments, it all came rushing back.
Me starting to pack up my condo. Meeting Darius for lunch.
His anger. The knife against my back. Him forcing me into the car.
I tried to reason with him before attacking him. Then, everything went black.
I forced my eyes open again, and this time I kept them open despite the pain. The room came into focus slowly.
My stomach tightened as recognition crept over me piece by piece. Darius had me in his parents’ lake house. My pulse started pounding so hard it hurt because there was only one reason he would bring me here. To relive the short past we had.
I tried to sit up, and that was when I realized my wrists were bound together with something soft but strong.
I looked down and saw thick rope tied around my wrists in a way that allowed some movement but not enough to get free.
My ankles were bound too. The rope had left red marks on my skin, and my wrists ached from whatever position they had been in while I was unconscious.
Panic hit me like a freight train. I had no idea how long I'd been here or what Darius had done. I pulled at the ropes, but they held firm. I tried to swing my legs off the bed, but the ankle restraints kept me pinned.
“Shit,” I whispered, and my voice came out hoarse and broken. “Fuck, fuck fuck.”
I looked around the room more carefully now, trying to find something I could use to cut the ropes or something I could use as a weapon.
The only thing I saw was a bottle of wine on the dresser.
I needed to get free. I needed to get out of here.
I needed to call Money, call the police, or call someone who could help me.
But first, I needed to get these fucking ropes off.
The door opened, and Darius walked in looking even worse than he did at lunch.
His usually neat hair was sticking up in every direction like he had been running his hands through it for hours.
He was sweating like crazy, even though the room was cool, and his hands were shaking.
He stood in the doorway and stared at me like he wasn’t sure if I was real or if he was hallucinating.
“You’re awake,” he said finally, and his voice was flat and emotionless.
“Darius.” I kept my voice calm even though my heart was racing. “Darius, you need to untie me. This is not okay. This is not you.”
“Not me?” He laughed, and it was a sound that made my skin crawl. “You don’t know what I am anymore, Solei. You don’t know anything about me. You never really did.”
“That’s not true. I know you’re a good man. I know you would never hurt me.”
“I already hurt you.” He stepped into the room and closed the door behind him. “I hit you. I knocked you out. I brought you here against your will. So do not tell me I would never hurt you when I already fucking did.”
He was right, and that terrified me. The Darius I knew would never have done this.
He was safe, stable, predictable. But that Darius was gone.
I didn’t know who this man was or what he was capable of.
“Why are we at the lakehouse?” I asked, trying to keep him talking while I worked on loosening the ropes around my wrists.
“An hour away from the city. No neighbors for miles. No one can hear you scream.” He said it matter-of-factly like he was telling me the weather forecast.
“Your parents…”
“Are in Europe for the next three weeks. They won’t be back until the end of the month. So it is just you and me, Solei. Just like it was supposed to be.”
“Darius, this is not like it used to be. This is kidnapping. This is assault. You need to let me go before this gets worse.”
“Worse?” He laughed sharply, real amusement flashing for just a second. “How could it possibly get worse? I’ve lost everything–fiancé gone over the phone, reputation ruined thanks to your drug-dealing husband. Pathetic, isn’t it? So tell me, Solei, how does it get worse for me?”
“You know when Money finds me, he’s going to kill you, right?”
He scoffed. “He’ll never find you. I doubt he knows about this place.” He moved closer to the bed and I tried to scoot away, but there was nowhere to go. “Unless you’ve told him every little detail about our relationship.”
“Maybe I have.”
“I doubt that as well. Listen, I don’t care about that. All I care about is making you understand what you did to me. Making you feel even a fraction of what I have been feeling for the last week.”
“I’m sorry.” I let tears fill my eyes, needing him to see I was vulnerable, not calculating my next move. “I’m so sorry, Darius. I never meant to hurt you. I never meant for any of this to happen.”
“But it did happen.” He sat down on the edge of the bed, and I could smell the alcohol on his breath. “It happened because you’re a fucking liar. You lied to me about being over him. You lied to me about wanting a future with me. You lied to me about loving me.”
“I didn’t lie about loving you. I did love you. I do love you.”
“Bullshit!” He grabbed my face with one hand and squeezed hard enough to make me wince.
“You never loved me. You loved the idea of me. You loved that I was safe, stable, and everything he wasn’t.
But you never loved me the way you love him.
You never looked at me the way you look at him.
You never wanted me the way you want… Money. ”
He was right again, and I hated that he could see through me so clearly.
I had never loved Darius the way I loved Money.
I had never felt that all-consuming passion or that desperate need or that certainty that I would die without him.
“You’re right,” I whispered, and I let more tears fall.
“You’re absolutely right. I didn’t love you the way I should have.
I wasn’t fair to you. Darius, I was selfish, I was wrong, and I am so sorry. ”
His grip on my face loosened slightly. “Yeah, you’re sorry alright.”
“Yes. Yes, I’m sorry. You deserved better than what I gave you. You deserved someone who loved you completely and without reservation. You deserved someone who chose you first.”
“But you didn’t choose me.” His voice broke, and fresh tears started streaming down his face.
“After everything I did. Stealing and laundering money to keep up with the lavish lifestyle. You chose him. You will always choose him. No matter what I do or how hard I try, I will never be enough for you.”
“That’s not true.”
“Stop lying!” Darius slapped the copper taste out of my mouth, causing a ringing in my left ear.
Then, he stood up abruptly and started pacing the room.
“Just stop fucking lying! You’re going back to him!
You’re going to marry him again and have more of his fucking babies and live in his mansion and pretend like I never existed!
You’re going to forget all about me while I spend the rest of my life remembering your ass! ”
“I’ll never forget you, Darius. I promise!”
“Promises.” He laughed bitterly. “You promised to marry me. You promised to build a life with me. You promised to love me. And you broke every single one of those promises. So forgive me if I don’t believe shit you say anymore.”
He stopped pacing and turned to look at me. His eyes were wild and unfocused. His breathing was rapid and shallow. He looked like a man on the edge of a complete breakdown.
“I just wanted one more time,” he said, voice low. “Before you go back to him. One more time, just to remember. Is that too much?”
My stomach turned. “Darius…”
“Please.” He moved back to the bed and sat down next to me. “Please, Solei. Just one more time. Let me show you what you’re giving up. I bet he fucks you like a lying little slut, huh? I can do that. Let me prove it.”
This was my chance. This was the moment I had been waiting for. If I could convince him to untie me, if I could make him believe I wanted this, then I could get free, and I could hurt him, and I could escape. I looked into his eyes, and I made my voice soft and tender. “Okay.”
“Okay?”
“Okay. One more time. But Darius, you have to untie me. I can’t do this with my hands and feet bound. I want to touch you and hold you. I want to make this good for both of us.”
He hesitated, and I could see the war playing out on his face. He wanted to believe me, but he also wasn’t stupid. He knew I was looking for a way out. “You won’t try to run?” he asked.
I chuckled. “Come on. Where would I run? We’re miles away, remember? I couldn’t get away even if I tried.” I let my voice break. “And honestly, I don’t want to run. I want to give you this one last perfect memory before everything ends.”
He stared at me for a long moment, and then he reached for the ropes around my wrists. His hands were shaking so badly that it took him three tries to untie the knots. When my hands were free, I brought them to my chest and rubbed my wrists where the rope had left marks.
“Thank you,” I whispered.
He untied my ankles next, and then he sat back and looked at me like he was waiting for me to make the first move.
I sat up slowly, and every muscle in my body screamed in protest. My head was still throbbing, and I felt dizzy and nauseous, but I couldn’t let him see that.
I had to make him believe I wanted this.