Chapter 8
EIGHT
UTTERLY SPELLBOUND
James
My phone blared, and I glanced at the screen. Richard.
Leaving the shelter of the great hall’s portal where I’d impatiently waited for Beth’s return, I strode to the den, answering the call on the way.
My uncle would not be kept waiting.
“James,” Richard said as the call connected. “You haven’t responded to my email. Why?”
Why indeed. How did one select a woman from a list? “I find myself preoccupied,” I replied honestly.
“Preoccupied, are you? I’d call that a dangerous negligence for a man in your position.” Richard launched into a reminder of who and what I was, how much I owed to my family and to him.
My responsibilities.
My duty.
The penance I needed to pay. I’d heard it all for years.
But where I usually agreed to his every word, on this occasion, I grew annoyed. Rebellious, even. I stopped listening.
My head ached, and I shivered from the chill that had been bothering me since I’d woken this morning. The fever I’d misinterpreted as a full-body anticipation of meeting Beth again.
A few days ago, Callum had sent me to speak with a tenant family who lived in the village alongside the loch.
I’d sat in their living room and agreed to hold their rent while they recovered from a difficult financial situation.
The woman had been ill, babbling in her fever, her eyes streaming with tears of relief that they weren’t going to be evicted.
And from the sickness she’d obviously passed to me.
Meeting this family had been a learning exercise in more than one way. I’d practiced empathy—a skill my uncle would consider a weakness. That kind of care hadn’t been his forte when he’d looked after me for the years since my parents died.
I shivered again. If I told Callum I felt unwell, he’d probably fuss over me and send me to bed. But I didn’t want to go lie in my room on my own.
“Are you listening?” My uncle’s voice rang in my aching mind. Then, through the open door, I saw her across the hall.
Beth.
“Goddamn it. My Lord Fitzroy,” Richard barked, using the proper name for me and showing me just how annoyed he was.
Few people used that name, but Richard had a deep respect for decorum.
And knew the power my title wielded in dressing me down.
“You have to choose. I’ve created this list for your benefit.
Yours. Do you understand? Every single one of those girls is an opportunity to gain influence or significant financial means. ”
I reached the den door as Beth crossed to the middle of the hall.
Pale afternoon light spilled through the arched windows, surrounding her, softening the hard angles I’d caused by my poor treatment.
“Can we talk—?” she started, then she saw the phone, and her hand shot to her mouth, her eyes widening.
I grimaced. Yes, please. Talk at me. Help me work through this. The McRae brothers had given me no slack, and it was the only reason I could talk to them with ease.
“I’m sorry,” I mouthed, meaning so many things.
She gave me a slight nod, her gaze curious but still wary. For a moment, she didn’t move, and we stood ten feet apart in the quiet of the ancient space.
Being on a phone call helped, even though my uncle was still listing the attributes of some poor, unaware woman. It took the pressure off me to speak, and I let myself look at Beth in a way I hadn’t since she’d arrived.
At her gorgeous figure, dainty but with curves that had me sitting up and paying attention.
Lips I so desperately wanted to taste.
I hadn’t let myself indulge in those kinds of thoughts. Not until a month ago in London, when Beth had screeched her car up to me and crashed her body against mine in an apology hug.
Despite trying to control it, I’d thought of little else since.
Control be damned. I openly admired her now.
Beth watched me in return. Her slow gaze took me in, from my hard-wearing boots, up my legs, and lingering on my chest.
I rolled my shoulders, the blood in my body journeying south.
“Do you agree?” my uncle barked again.
“Whatever,” I replied, utterly spellbound by the moment, my headache forgotten and my focus on one person alone.
Behind Beth, the twins bounded into the hall. Wherever they went, noise invariably followed, so I took a reluctant step back into the den. Richard intensely disliked hearing about anything McRae, so I retreated, regarding Beth one last time.
“Later,” she mouthed as one of the boys threw his arm oh-so-easily over her shoulder, and my heart swelled at the promise.
Dinner was a boisterous affair, sending me further into the depths of the illness affecting me. Beth ate little, also. We toasted Gordain’s good fortune—he’d worked long and hard to get into the search and rescue training programme—but his success, for me, was bittersweet.
After this weekend, I wouldn’t see him for a long time. He’d be back on his RAF base without the ability to take leave, and I’d be moving on. Likely before he returned home again.
“Why so miserable?” Gordain fell in next to me, the dining room emptying, people taking their drinks into the great hall.
Beth spoke to Mathilda, the two women passing us, though she spared a glance for me. I lapped it up like a starving animal, following her with my gaze as she left.
“Your training is solid for four months, you said.”
“Aw. You’ll miss me? I love you, too.” He slung an arm over my shoulder. The brothers were always affectionate.
I’d been so touch-starved it still felt alien.
“It’ll soon pass,” he continued, “and I’ll come to Belvedere if you can’t come here.”
I couldn’t picture my uncle liking that. Then again, it was my home. I’d invite who I wanted.
“My door will always be open to you.”
“So formal,” Gordain chided. “Which reminds me, have you spoken to the lass yet?”
“No.” We’d had no chance of privacy, but that had to be remedied. “Actually, can I ask a favour of you? I’ve behaved like an idiot to her and I need to explain, but it would be nice to be alone.”
Across the great hall, the twins parked themselves on the couch, either side of Beth. The open fire blazed.
My head swam like I was drunk.
“Don’t beat yourself up. You’re still getting used to all this. Making friends.”
“I’ve no skill in it.”
“And I wasn’t born ready to haul my backside into a cockpit. Practice. Start somewhere and, if you fuck up, try again.”
Beth’s gaze found mine, just like earlier. Except now, I had nothing to hide behind.
“Look, Mathilda’s about to jump on Cal if he doesn’t take her upstairs.
” He grinned at the flush on my cheeks. “Sorry, but it’s true.
I’ll take the boys to watch a movie in the tower.
No stress. Hey…” He paused, turning his back on the group seated the other side of the hall.
“I’m not making any assumptions here, but if you ever wanted to talk about… you know. I’m here.”
I cringed. He did, too.
“G, are you trying to give me a sex talk?”
“I think I was about to. I had the chat with the twins last year, so I’m well-practiced.”
“I’m not trying to have sex with her,” I almost growled, throwing an anxious glance her way. “I invited her here…”
How to end that sentence? My chill sank into my bones, displacing the heat from the embarrassing conversation.
Gordain raised his hands. “This is the first time I’ve seen you interested in a woman. Am I supposed to sit back and let you mess it up?”
“That would be appreciated.”
He smirked, then we advanced on the party and took our seats. I heard nothing of the discussion, only seeing Beth in the firelight. No warmth touched me as I recalled our conversations when I’d been here and she’d been in her car.
A shiver ran over me when Gordain corralled the twins and took them away, his salute to me sardonic. Then Callum and Mathilda took to the pine staircase that ran up the interior wall of the great hall. They moved in unison, purpose in every step.
Only Beth and I remained. My eyes closed of their own accord, stinging and heavy.
“Finally,” her voice rang like a bell.
I felt, rather than saw, her close the distance between us.