Chapter 48 Taera
Taera
Jezebel thought she was giving me false hope, but she made the mistake of giving me exactly what I needed: purpose.
A reason to sink my teeth in.
I’ve weathered worse sandstorms.
Days pass, and I study my classes carefully, focusing on lectures and making notes on everything I don’t understand—which is everything.
Students whisper about the marks on my skin, hidden under a thin layer of illusion.
I let their comments blow off me like sand.
My head becomes clearer, and my magic returns, little by little.
Exams didn’t mean a thing to me until now. They’re barely over a week away.
Nikolai studies his pale book, oblivious to my change of attitude. When I tap him on the shoulder, he blinks over at me.
“How do exams work?” I ask.
“Doesn’t matter,” he murmurs, deflecting, already turning back to his book. But I’m ready for his evasion.
“Conduits and sources have to work together, right?”
That gets his attention. “What’s brought on your questions?”
Two can play at this game.
“So, one conduit and one source,” I say.
“As a pair, yes. If there’s an odd number, one trio. The numbers will be even, though, with you here and Thoma gone.”
I shiver at the reminder of what he’s capable of.
“Who will I be paired with?” I ask.
He shrugs, and I try not to let it sting how nonchalant he is about whoever I’ll get stuck with.
Nikolai leans back in his chair, his lips quirking into an amused smile. “Why are you so curious about all this?”
I flush under the intensity of his gaze and look down at the desk. “So there’s a test you have to pass as a pair,” I repeat, waiting for confirmation.
He doesn’t give it.
I try again. “Who will you work with?”
“Whomever I want.” His smirk is annoyingly self-assured. “I have my pick of the sources.”
My stomach twists, but I try to keep my face blank. “Who will you choose?”
I fail.
“Jealous?” Nikolai grins.
“No.” My scowl is immediate. “I was just curious.”
He cocks his head to the side. “Probably Jezebel.”
“Seriously? Her?”
“Jealous?” he purrs again.
“She’s cruel,” I say through my teeth.
“She’s the most powerful source here,” he says. “Aside from you.”
The way I blush doesn’t make sense. I don’t want to have magic, so why does Nikolai telling me I’m powerful make my neck tingle?
“And yes,” he goes on, “each pair has to pass three tests, or they flunk out of Intermediate II. The passing pair with the lowest score also fails.”
I raise my brows. “But they passed.”
“That’s the way it is.” He shrugs again, like he’s never worried about failing in his life.
Not only do I have to pass, but I have to do better than another pair of magicians who have been training for years. Not wanting to incite his suspicion, I don’t ask any more questions. Nikolai continues to watch me—which doesn’t help my red cheeks—before returning to his book.
When Master Koroy dismisses the class, I make my way over to Omi’s side of the room. They’re packing up next to Annie. When Omi sees me, their brow creases.
“What’s wrong?” they say.
“Do you know which conduit I’ll be paired with for exams?” I ask both of them.
Annie taps her chin with a finger. “Probably Dominic. Unless he gets dirt on someone and throws them under. Sorry, got to run now. Catch you later.”
My stomach sinks, and I grimace at Omi. My only clear memory of Dominic is of cruel laughter after my magic violently rejected him trying to kiss me.
Omi frowns back. “Are you afraid he’ll hurt you?”
“Maybe.” I shake my head, resigned. But Omi is the only one who has told me anything important, even if it almost got me killed last time. They deserve to know.
“I was just thinking”—I lower my voice—“if I know who I’m going to work with, I could practice with them.”
“Taera.” Omi’s face falls. “Whoever the conduit is…”
“What?”
“No conduit is going to practice with you. Even if they wanted to, you belong to Niko.”
“I do not belong to him,” I mutter.
“I know that, but—” Omi glances around the emptying classroom. “Jezebel has it out for you. No one wants to be on her bad side, either.”
“So no conduit is going to help me?”
Omi shakes their head, their expression regretful. “Niko is also the only one who can touch you, without your magic blowing up. Because he’s… Niko.”
“Why is it always him?” I grumble.
“Taera, listen.” Omi leans in closer. “If you’re still thinking of trying to make it through exams—”
“I know, I know.” I cut them off, bitterness coating my tongue. “I don’t stand a chance.”
Omi swallows. “You don’t… except with Nikolai. He’s untouchable for a reason, Taera. He’s on a level of his own.”
I shake my head. “He would never work with me.”
And I don’t want to work with him.
“Who would never work with you?” Jezebel turns toward us and cocks her head. Her smile is sickly sweet. “Your crush?”
“I—I have to go,” Omi mutters, stepping away and shooting me an apologetic look. I can’t blame them for fleeing.
“It’s adorable you still want to work with Niko,” Jezebel says, too loudly.
“I don’t,” I mutter.
“Good.” She smirks, then leans in. “Because he would never work with you. Why would he—when he could work with me, or a prodigy like Hazel.”
I’d forgotten about the mysterious Hazel.
Then I blink. There’s no way; Hazel couldn’t be… Nikolai told me he has a sister. Someone he cares about more than anyone in the world.
A smile plays on my lips. “You don’t know who Hazel is, do you?”
Jezebel’s face shutters, then twists into something murderous. I can’t help but grin.
“If you think you know Niko better than I do—” she starts, voice low.
“Nikolai didn’t tell you.” My smile is smug.
“You little bitch,” Jezebel hisses. “You’re going to pay for—”
“You calling my source names?” The velvet voice shuts us both up.
Jezebel stiffens. “She was picking a fight.”
Nikolai glances at me, looking amused. “I’m sure she was.”
When he turns to leave the classroom, I follow close on his heels. I don’t have time to argue with Jezebel. I have less than a week to get a handle on my magic and pass an exam.
We arrive back at his chambers, and he moves straight to his desk. I hover by the bed, nerves prickling. “Can I ask you a question?”
He raises an eyebrow. “Won’t you ask it anyway?”
“Just… don’t get all scary, okay?”
He frowns, waiting.
“Is Hazel your sister?”
Nikolai’s eyes flash. “Who told you that?”
“So she is,” I say, smiling.
“Yes.” He stalks toward me, all hard lines and glare. “And you won’t breathe a word to anyone.”
I swallow. I’m walking on quicksand. But Omi’s words linger in my head.
“I won’t tell anyone. I swear it,” I say. “But…”
His jaw ticks.
“…there’s something I need your help with.”