Chapter 58 Taera
Taera
Nikolai meant it when he said he’d be back late. When he finally opens the door, I’m sitting by the window, looking out at the sand.
There’s a moment of silence, then I hear the door close.
“You’re still awake,” he says.
“I was waiting for you to get back,” I reply.
He sighs. It isn’t the response I was expecting. I turn to face him, and we appraise each other in the shadows. Nikolai looks younger, less sharp around the edges, and again I find myself wondering what he really looks like under the weight of all his illusions.
“I’m sorry,” he mutters.
I frown at him. “What?”
“You were right.” Nikolai lets out a long breath, rubbing his face. “It was my fault, trying to make you use the shards. I shouldn’t have said what I did, or made you eat the fucking bread.”
I stare at him. “Why? Why are you saying this?”
His eyes dart away. Perhaps he actually feels remorse. And I definitely didn’t expect him to apologize. Still, I have no reason to believe him.
“I fucked up. I shouldn’t have blamed you for it,” he continues.
I raise my brows. “How generous of you.”
His expression hardens. He paces over to his desk, and I watch him empty his pockets, adding one more of those cursed shards to the collection.
But he still doesn’t make sense.
“Why apologize?” I ask.
He narrows his eyes, glaring at me in response.
“Why?” I demand.
Finally, he mutters, “Because you deserve better.”
A strange tightness loosens in my chest. We’re both silent for several seconds, while I just stare at him. I have no idea whether he’s being honest, or what his scheme could even be. He just looks tired.
“Well, you’re right,” I say. “And you’ve been an ass.”
He huffs, almost a chuckle.
“But you were also wrong about something,” I say, my voice lowering.
Nikolai’s brow furrows, and I enjoy the novelty of his confusion.
“It isn’t impossible,” I say. I step toward him—toward his desk—and gesture to the shards of mirror that are all laid out. “I do this for you, and you’ll do everything you can to get me through exams.”
The line of his mouth tightens, and he nods.
Closing my eyes, I picture the magician in front of me. I shiver at the intensity of his eyes and the softness of his hair. The way his lips quirk, and his voice rumbles through me. I breathe in the scent of sage and secrets he’ll never yield. Beautiful, but untouchable.
I open my eyes.
My magic throbs inside me like a heartbeat, a warm river of sand drifting on the wind. It’s the air I breathe, a part of me, but also not. More fluid. It whispers deep in my bones. Like the desert.
I reach out and touch the first shard. It sputters blue-white, glowing bright, and the edges flicker like white flame.
Exhaling, I reach for the second shard, and it lights up beside the first.
On an inhale, I place my hand on the third.
One by one, the shards come to life, until each one shines like the moon. I keep my fingers on the last piece, giving it one last pulse of energy.
“I don’t know how long…” I say, but Nikolai is already stepping forward, sliding edges together and arranging them into a whole. The seams shimmer away, until it becomes a single mirror—missing only one slice.
My magic surges, drawing me closer, and the surface of the mirror wobbles. Liquid gold seeps out from the edges, curling and twining together until it encircles the mirror in an ornate frame.
The tether of my magic snaps. My balance drops out from beneath me. Firm hands catch me and carry me to the bed. My vision swims with silver, beautiful and terrible—like Nikolai. I feel serene, high on magic beyond this world.
“By the fucking labyrinth,” Nikolai whispers. “You actually did it.”
“Now we’re even,” I slur.
That’s all I remember before I black out.