Chapter 26
Chapter Twenty-Six
Brian
Apparently, misery really did love company.
And Zach was good company. For starters, he was too wrapped up in his own shit to care about Brian and Rae hooking up. Secondly, since he had his own things he didn’t want to talk about, even if he had cared, he wouldn’t have brought it up.
He was also the perfect distraction.
With him moping around, vacillating wildly back and forth between pretending like everything was fine and that he was just visiting or slumping on the couch and staring into the middle distance, it wasn’t like Brian had too much time to think about Rae.
Morgan was a champ. She immediately ceded her room to Zach for as long as he needed it, though he promised he wasn’t going to take too long.
Just long enough to figure out what he was going to do next, he said.
Not that he seemed to be looking.
Which suited Brian just fine.
Having someone to take care of around the house soothed a lot of his agitation.
Something his therapist would have a field day with when he confessed it on his next visit, he was sure.
He was self-aware enough to realize he was focusing on Zach because that meant he didn’t have to focus on himself, but he also wasn’t doing anything to change the situation. Helping his friends made him feel good.
Helping someone who was out of control to gain control made him feel fulfilled.
And yes, he understood that he was getting a sense of control by proxy, but hey… much easier than facing his own problems.
He also talked to Kincaid on the phone. Zach had been adamant that everyone stay friends.
He didn’t want to make things worse, even though he wasn’t ready to see Kincaid yet.
Kincaid had also assured Brian that he wanted everyone to remain friends…
even though he wasn’t ready to see Zach again just yet.
But he was relieved Zach had somewhere to stay.
From what it sounded like, Zach wasn’t ready to come out to his family, and Kincaid was tired of feeling like a secret that was never going to be revealed.
They loved each other, that much was evident, but they hadn’t been able to find a compromise, and trying to plan for the upcoming holidays had blown everything out of the water.
“Are you sure you don’t want to come to Stronghold tonight?” Brian asked over dinner. They’d eaten together almost every night that week. “Kincaid won’t be there.”
“I know.” Zach stabbed at a piece of lettuce, not meeting Brian’s gaze.
He wasn’t disheveled anymore, but he had kept the five o’clock shadow growing, and it was starting to turn into real facial hair.
“It’s a work trip for that security firm he’s going to work for.
But no, thanks. It’s not just him I want to avoid. ”
“I get that.” Brian was still struggling with making himself go tonight. The gossip was probably going to be rife. But… if he didn’t show up, everyone would assume he was avoiding Rae. They’d draw all sorts of conclusions.
It was probably best to meet things head-on and get it over with, anyway. Like pulling off a band-aid. The longer he waited, the more speculation would run rampant and the worse it would be.
While he had the ready excuse of keeping Zach company, he really didn’t like the idea of anyone thinking he was avoiding the clubs because Rae might be there.
Okay. Not ‘anyone.’ Rae. He didn’t like the idea of her thinking he was avoiding the clubs because she might be there. He didn’t want her to know that she’d hurt him. Was it to spare her feelings or for his pride? He wasn’t sure, but the end result was the same.
He needed to go to one of the clubs. Since he didn’t have a reservation for Marquis, it had to be Stronghold.
Unless…
“Do you want me to hang out here with you? I don’t have to go.” If anyone asked, he could honestly say Zach had needed him.
“No, you can go.” Zach sighed.
Well, there went that small hope, but he knew it was better this way.
“I should probably take the time to think. I’ve been avoiding thinking all week.”
“Do you want to talk about it?” He wasn’t going to push the issue, but Zach was looking as though he might be ready to actually spill rather than avoid it.
“I don’t know.” Zach dropped his head down again. “It’s not like I can do anything to fix it other than man up and tell my family.”
“Do you think they’d take it badly?” They’d been friends for a while, so Brian knew a little about Zach’s family, but he’d never met them, and it wasn’t like they’d had deep conversations about whether or not their families were homophobic.
Brian tended to avoid talking about his childhood and his family, so he didn’t ask questions about anyone else’s.
Everything he knew about Zach’s were things Zach had said in passing.
“I don’t know,” Zach said again, even more morosely this time.
“I mean, yeah, I know how they vote, and they say they support gay rights and everything, but I also remember my dad being super pissed off when my sister dressed me up and put makeup on me as a kid. My mom… she doesn’t mean to be rude, but she just doesn’t get a lot of stuff.
Again, she’ll say people should be able to love who they love, but she also complains about all the changes to ‘that pronoun stuff.’ So, I don’t know.
I just don’t know.” And the not knowing was clearly the hardest part for him.
Brian didn’t entirely know how to sympathize because it’s not like either of his parents had cared enough about him to care what his sexuality or gender identity was.
But if his grandma was still alive, and he’d realized he was bi or enby, he might have been afraid, too.
She’d been loving but old school, and he wasn’t sure how she would have taken it.
“What about your sister?” he asked since she was the only one Zach hadn’t mentioned.
“I think she’d be fine,” Zach said immediately.
“She had it out with my mom last year because my mom said something along the lines of trans people needing to accept that people were going to ask them invasive questions.” He chuckled, looking a little lighter.
“After Krista went to town asking her a bunch of questions about how she knew she was straight and cis, and immediately followed it up with questions about her and dad’s sex life, I think she understood a little better. ”
Brian burst out laughing.
“Your sister sounds like fun.”
“She is. She’s straight, but she’s always been super into politics and human rights, and she tries to be a good ally. She’s working in D.C. right now.”
“Why don’t you start with her, then?” Brian asked. “It’s not like you have to come out to the whole family all at once. Unless you think you and Kincaid are completely over, and you’re only going to date women from now on. Then it’s kind of a moot point.”
Looking up from his plate, Zach met Brian’s gaze for the first time, his dark eyes a little hopeful.
“Do you think just telling one of them would make a difference to Kincaid?” he asked eagerly, making it clear he wasn’t ready for things to be over yet, which was good to know.
Brian really hadn’t been sure which way that was going to go.
Zach could have easily decided he’d rather never come out to his family as anything other than straight.
“I think it would show that you’re moving in that direction. Especially if she could meet him. Why not focus on the person you think will be the most supportive? She might even have ideas for how to prep or tell your parents.”
Granted, he knew that Kincaid probably wanted Zach’s entire family to know about him. They wouldn’t be able to celebrate holidays together otherwise. But at the same time, he could see why Zach would find that daunting.
Just telling one of them would be easier on Zach, and it would show Kincaid that he wasn’t being completely shut out.
Compromise.
Just like you could find a compromise with Rae, right?
Fuck, he hated that little voice in his head sometimes.
Rae
Stronghold was hopping, and so was Rae, though she was hopping from nervousness. Every time the door opened, she looked up, wondering if it was going to be Brian. Even though she wasn’t sure what she was going to say to him yet. If she was going to say anything at all.
But this week had sucked without him.
She hadn’t realized how used she’d gotten to having him around. Not just for the sex stuff but also for the day stuff. More than once, she’d wanted to tell him something… but it would have been really weird to text him when they’d never done that before Hideaway.
She kept thinking maybe she was hyping things up too much in her head.
Maybe she was too deep into writing romances—even if she’d had writer’s block all week despite all the ideas that had been flowing on the island—and she had built up a fantasy.
Once she was faced with the reality, it would go away.
So, she hoped he showed up.
Even though she was really nervous about it.
“You are making me want to jump out of my skin. Will you sit down?” Iris said, tugging on Rae’s arm to pull her back into her barstool. “I’m already nervous enough with Noelle constantly glaring at me.”
“Sorry. Sorry.” She hadn’t even realized she’d jumped up.
Master Will looked a bit like Brian, and she’d…
yeah. Rae sighed, tossing her hair back over her shoulders.
She’d dressed like a babygirl tonight, the way she often did at Stronghold.
It didn’t mean anything. She had just felt like wearing her purple tutu skirt and the corset with all the fun ribbons and lace because she felt good in them.
Not because they were something she saw other babygirls wearing.
Then she frowned.
“What do you mean she’s glaring at you?” Rae leaned to the side so she could see around Domi, who also turned in her seat.
“Wait, don’t look… ah, shit.” Iris sighed.
Rae had already made eye contact with Noelle, who looked startled to suddenly be at the center of their attention.
She turned away from Rae’s glare and started talking to the others she was with, gesticulating wildly.
Sam dropped her head into her hands while Amy reached out, focusing on Noelle like she was trying to soothe her.
The other two, Marissa and Carolyn, turned to look at Rae and Domi…
and probably Iris, although Iris was staring at the ceiling and taking deep breaths.
Marissa raised her eyebrow, and Carolyn smirked before they both turned back to whatever Noelle was saying.
Wait, was Noelle crying? Good grief. It looked like she might be.
Amy had her arm around Noelle’s shoulders and was patting her knee with her other hand.
Sam looked over at Iris with an apologetic expression on her face.
Great. She was sure that couldn’t be good.
“What on earth is she doing?” Rae murmured, watching with consternation as Noelle suddenly jumped up, Amy trailing after her.
“Who the fuck knows,” Domi said, shaking her head. “To cause trouble, probably.”
“I wish you guys hadn’t looked. Now she knows I was talking about her.” Iris sighed.
“Yeah, because she was glaring at you.”
“I didn’t want her to know it was getting to me. And now she knows I said something about her, just like she’s always telling everyone I do. Look, she’s going to tell Patrick.”
Sure enough, Noelle was knocking on Patrick’s office door, ignoring whatever Amy was saying to her. Back in the Lounge area, where Marissa, Carolyn, and Sam still were, the three of them were looking at each other with what appeared to be confusion. They didn’t know what Noelle was doing either.
Well, this should be interesting. Law was in there with Mistress Julie, having a meeting with Patrick about the upcoming round of classes. Rae didn’t think any of them would appreciate a specious interruption.
“What’s going on?” Mitch had come back from the bathroom, making all of them jump. He frowned at them, obviously picking up on the tension. “What are you all looking… Oh. Noelle.” The disapproval in his voice made it clear what he thought of her.
The door to Patrick’s office opened, and as they watched, the big man himself appeared in the doorway, towering over Noelle.
The big black man took up most of the doorway, and his expression said he did not like being interrupted.
But if she found him intimidating, she didn’t act like it.
She immediately started gesticulating wildly, waving her hand at Amy like she was trying to hush anything the other woman said.
“What is she doing?”
“We’re not sure. Iris said she kept glaring at her, so Domi and I both looked over, then she started waving her hands and acting upset, and then she jumped up and ran over to start knocking on Patrick’s door.
” Rae shrugged. She wasn’t sure what had set Noelle off, but clearly, she was looking to cause some kind of scene.
Patrick looked up and over at their table. There was no point in pretending they weren’t watching what was going on, so they just all looked back. Even from across the room, Rae could see him sigh, then he nodded. Noelle stepped back, dramatically wiping some tears away.
As Patrick headed over to their table, Noelle and Amy on either side of him, Law and Julie came out of the office behind him.
There wasn’t a total hush in the club as he moved, but more than one person looked up and started watching where he was going.
Over in the Lounge area, the rest of Noelle’s friends got to their feet and started to come over as well.
Great. It was going to be a whole little party.
“Ladies, Mitch.” Patrick nodded his head when he reached them.
Noelle stood at his side, still sniffling, though Rae was pretty sure she saw satisfaction glowing in Noelle’s eyes.
“Sorry to interrupt your evening, but I have to ask you a couple of questions. Mitch, have you been with the ladies all evening?”
“No, I just got back from the bathroom.” Mitch sighed. “Sorry.”
“I see.” Patrick looked disappointed. “Okay, then. Ladies, can you tell me what, if any, interactions you’ve had with Noelle this evening?”
“They—” Noelle started to say, her voice shrill, but Patrick’s hand was already going up in the air to make the ‘stop’ sign. She was smart enough to cut off whatever bullshit she’d been about to start spouting off.
“I asked them,” Patrick said sternly. Noelle glared, but she subsided, and Patrick turned his attention back to the table, his gaze sweeping over Iris, Rae, and Domi in turn. “Ladies?”