Chapter 25
Chapter Twenty-Five
Rae
Somehow, she ended up at Marquis. She hadn’t had a plan when she’d started driving. She definitely hadn’t thought, Oh, I should go to the center of the gossip hub for the club.
She just… needed somewhere familiar to go. Somewhere she felt safe. Somewhere she knew the rules. And, for once, that hadn’t meant Domi’s. Was it partly because she didn’t want to admit to her friend that she’d been right about Rae’s parents?
Yes.
Eventually, she would, but she needed a little bit of time, so it wouldn’t smart so much when Domi said, “I told you so.”
Her parents had lied to her. As much as she understood her mom’s motivations and why they’d done it, she still felt deceived. Wildly misled.
And incredibly stupid.
That was it—she felt stupid. She couldn’t believe she had just taken their lack of fighting at face value. That she’d built up a whole romance around how they never fought. That she’d based her own decisions about romantic relationships off that fiction.
Putting the car in park, she headed into the restaurant portion of the club.
The second floor was where all the kinky stuff happened.
The first floor was a regular restaurant and bar.
On the first floor, there was nothing to indicate what was happening overhead.
Plenty of customers went in and out of the restaurant for a good meal without ever being the wiser.
That was where Rae was headed now. She shook her head at the hostess as she walked in, angling toward the bar instead.
While she was hungry, and part of her was regretting questioning her mom before dinner because that chili had smelled amazing, she didn’t want to sit at a table and eat. It felt too formal. Too confining.
Instead, she went to the bar. As a member of the club upstairs, they had a card on file for her.
If she felt the need to flee again, she’d be able to do so and tip the bartender later.
They all knew her because she came here often for girls’ nights with Domi and Iris.
Avery worked in the kitchen, so that allowed her to come and join them when her shift was over.
Tonight, there were several bartenders since it was a weekend and the bar was crowded. Thankfully, there was a solo seat open between two couples, and Rae slid right in. On the other side of the bar, Shane, one of her favorite bartenders, gave her a smile.
He was a Dom, though she never saw him around the club.
He and his wife tended to play in private, but everyone knew he was a Dom.
If they didn’t, and they misbehaved in his bar, they’d figure it out soon enough.
In his fifties, with a bald head and a salt and pepper goatee, he wasn’t very tall.
In fact, he was about the same height as her, with a fit figure and a kindly smile that made him seem like a thinner Santa Claus.
But step one finger out of line and it was like something inside him shifted. He’d give the offending subbie a look that would have them meekly falling back in line. She didn’t know how he did it; she just knew that it was impressive to watch—and slightly terrifying to be on the receiving end of.
“Welcome back home, Rae. What can I get for you?”
“The pretzel and a dirty martini.”
Shane’s eyebrows rose. Yeah, she came here often enough that he knew her ‘something is bothering me’ order.
Putting a napkin down in front of her, he went to put in the order.
When he came back, it was with both the martini and a glass of water.
She couldn’t help but roll her eyes, but she didn’t protest.
She knew better.
“Want to talk about it?”
The couples on either side of her were completely involved in their partners, and she didn’t recognize either of them from the club, which probably meant they were regular restaurant goers rather than members.
And while the club ran on gossip, Shane himself was like a vault.
He heard everything, knew everything, and told no one anything.
And he never, ever said, ‘I told you so.’
Not that he could in this case because he’d never offered her relationship advice before. But he’d offered other people advice, and it always turned out well.
So, she took a sip of her martini and started to talk.
The best thing about talking to a bartender was that there were natural breaks as he needed to tend to other customers, which also gave her the chance to think.
And drink. The alcohol definitely loosened her tongue because she found herself telling him about everything—including the fact that she hadn’t gone to Domi because she didn’t want to hear her friend’s ‘I told you so.’
Shane listened without a hint of judgment on his face, which was another thing she loved him for. The only time he gave her anything other than a kind expression was when she tried to order her second martini. Lifting one eyebrow, he gave her water a pointed look.
As soon as she’d drunk half the glass, the second martini appeared in front of her. This time, Rae did roll her eyes and got another stern look from Shane, though he didn’t say anything.
“Is it so bad to be wrong?”
“I don’t like it.”
“I don’t think anyone does. But you don’t have to let it make you feel bad, either. Everyone is wrong sometimes. It’s part of life.”
“Even you?” she asked.
He smiled enigmatically.
“I’ve been wrong a time or two. The important thing is that you don’t let being wrong change where you want your life to go.
What’s worse—being wrong or not getting what you want because you don’t want to admit that you’re wrong?
” With another little smile, he turned to go take care of another customer, leaving her there with that extremely uncomfortable thought.
While she was sitting there, Olivia appeared behind the bar, crooking her finger at Shane.
The redheaded Domme was the manager for Marquis and a serious badass.
Rae watched with interest as the two of them had some kind of intense conversation, then Shane shook his head.
Olivia sighed and turned away, shaking her head as well.
Oh, intrigue.
“What was that about?” Rae asked when Shane returned. Hey, it didn’t hurt to ask, right?
To her surprise, he actually answered.
“Mistress Julie got another gift delivered here to the club. Olivia just wanted to check in and see if I saw anything or anyone out front.”
“Oh… well, better here at the club than at home, right?”
Shane’s lips twitched. “I believe that’s how everyone feels, yes. Olivia’s main concern is trying to figure out how the admirer knew Julie would be at the club tonight. They’ve been keeping her schedule under lockdown ever since she got the present to her home.”
“Why did Olivia think you might know something?”
“I actually delivered the first gift. It came to the front instead of to the back.” He smiled ruefully, shaking his head. “Granted, I had no idea at the time that it was going to turn into such a thing.”
There was something about his tone, the way he was acting, that was different from everyone else. Law was freaking out about the admirer, Olivia was concerned, quite a few of the Doms were on edge, and… Shane was completely blasé. Not indifferent, but unconcerned.
“You know something,” she accused, pointing her finger at him. It wavered a little in the air, and she leaned forward so she could rest her elbow on the bar to keep her arm steadier. “You know who the secret admirer is.”
“No.” He said it so firmly, so sincerely that she believed him, and her heart sank a little in disappointment. He gave her a wink. “But I have a strong suspicion.”
“What?” She managed to keep from falling over, mostly because she was already partially braced on the bar. “Who?”
“I’m not going to say. Not while it’s just a suspicion. And if I do ever get confirmation, there are other people I’ll be telling first.”
“What if things escalate?”
“If it’s who I think it is, they won’t. And if it’s not, then casting suspicion on them won’t help anything.” Clearly, he’d already thought it through.
Damn. He really wasn’t going to tell her anything. She threw her balled-up napkin at him, and he caught it, chuckling.
“You’re a tease.”
“Sadist,” he said with a wink and just a hint of that Dom gaze that was enough to make her want to hide under the bar. Just a little. “Now drink your water and eat your pretzel so you can drive home in a bit.”
Obediently, Rae tore a piece of pretzel off and dunked it in the beer cheese. Mm. So good. And she did actually feel a little better, even if she didn’t know where she was going to go from here.
Brian
It turned out a quiet house wasn’t any better than Morgan’s questioning. She knocked on his door to let him know food was in the kitchen and that she and Asad were heading out.
He ate alone. Sat alone. Thought alone. Normally, that wouldn’t bother him.
He was used to being alone. Liked it. Was happy for company but could take or leave it.
Right now, though, it chafed. He wanted a distraction, yet he couldn’t think of where he would go to get away from everything…
because what he really needed to get away from were his own emotions.
He wished he could call his grandma and talk to her. She always had the best advice. She would have loved Rae.
After dinner, he sat on the couch, staring at the television he wasn’t really watching, replaying the last week in his mind. He understood why Rae didn’t want to call him ‘Daddy,’ he did, yet he also couldn’t help but think… is it really that big a deal?
But then, of course, his brain twisted it around on him.
If it’s not that big a deal, then why am I insisting on needing it?
Hypocrisy, thy name is Brian.
But once he had the thought, he couldn’t escape it. It zoomed round and round and round his head.
If he wanted her to give in to calling him ‘Daddy’ because it was what he preferred, why was that more important than her preference for not doing so?
It wasn’t.
In fact, by all standards of what he felt made a good Dom, first came her needs, then his needs, then her wants, then his wants.
Was being called ‘Daddy’ a need on his part, or was it a want?
And… he wasn’t really sure.
It was how he’d imagined his life, how he’d imagined his relationship for so long, he wasn’t sure he could let that go. He wanted to be his submissive’s Daddy. He wanted to take care of her, to support her, to have her give up control to him.
Does she have to call me Daddy to do all of that?
He didn’t know.
He used to know. He used to be sure.
Now, he was questioning everything, and it didn’t even matter because he and Rae were over, anyway.
He wasn’t going to put himself through that again.
But it was an important question to answer for himself, especially if it came up again.
Maybe the lesson he was supposed to learn here was that he needed to be more flexible if he wanted to find his perfect babygirl in the future.
Maybe she wouldn’t want to call him ‘Daddy,’ either.
Or maybe he was supposed to learn that he wouldn’t be happy without it?
He’d felt pretty damn happy with Rae the past week.
Was it sustainable?
His doorbell ringing made him jump. His heart leapt in his chest.
Surely… no.
It couldn’t be.
But he found hope surging inside him as he pushed himself to his feet.
Hope that he tried to push away because he knew the right thing to do, even if it was Rae on the other side of the door. She’d used up all her chances.
He still hoped, though. That stubborn, gritty hope that refused to be tamped down or eradicated, that clung on through every one of his vows to himself. And when he opened the door to see Zach standing there, he felt nothing but disappointment.
Though the disappointment was quickly swept away by concern as he took in the other man’s appearance.
He looked disheveled. Which was a big fucking deal because Zach never looked disheveled.
When they’d gotten off the plane today, he’d been the only one walking through their airport looking like he had just arrived for his flight instead of leaving it, and that had been with a hangover.
His hair looked like it had been raked through multiple times, he had a five o’clock shadow covering his jawline, and the skin around his eyes was swollen and pink. When he blinked and met Brian’s gaze, Brian could see that his actual eyes were bloodshot.
Brian’s mouth dropped open.
Holy shit.
“Kincaid and I just broke up. Can I stay here tonight?”
“Of course, man.” Brian didn’t hesitate. He opened his arms, and Zach stepped into them, bursting into noisy tears as Brian hugged him as tightly as he could.