Chapter 25
Silas
What are the odds that Junie is either in her room or not in the house?
I’ve been with Jake for most of today, again. We were meeting with a few groups from the surrounding packs, those that were close enough to travel on short notice, to get ahead of any problems we might encounter next month when we consolidate the packs.
Luckily, there’s been minimal chatter since the fight the other day. Even though they took me down, it seems they’ve shared that we are on high alert. They can’t fuck with my brother and my mate and think they will continue to get away with it.
Jake reassured me, after I asked for the fifth time in a row, that he’s placed more scouts higher up in the mountain.
We don’t want what happened to Kyrian to happen again.
An ambush would not be good. But we want to be high enough that if we see a rogue pack approaching, we can alert others more quickly.
I’m mad at myself for not thinking about doing this sooner, but in my defense, we have had more avalanches this season than in previous years. Now that we are close to the end of January, the weather should be shifting, which means less snowfall, but it’s still risky.
Jake let me know the teams stationed up the mountain have an escape route if something happens, and if they can’t escape, there are nearby caves to protect them until we can send a rescue team. Kyrian is leading one of those teams now that he claims he’s recovered enough.
I tried to argue with him, but he told me, “I’d do anything to protect our Luna.”
So, there’s that.
I didn’t have it in me to tell him that Junie is not their Luna, not until the bond is secured (and I don’t plan for that to happen).
After Jake and I double-checked some of the other outposts, he told me to go home. It wasn’t worth arguing about because he knows just as much as I do that I’m avoiding my house. Even though the meetings today were sprung on me this morning, I could have told Junie. I could have left a note.
What would I have told her? That I needed fucking space? That I need her but can’t have her? Maybe I’ll just tell her I’m sorry and break the bond that’s been forming between us for the past week.
I stand at my front door, listening to Junie handle pans in the kitchen while I figure out my plan of action.
Go in, don’t look at her, walk to my room?
It could work again. I can’t stay away from her for much longer before she comes looking for me, and after what happened with the rogue wolves, I can’t let that happen.
Even if all she did was leave the house to walk to Fran’s and back, she’d still be out in the open.
She’d be an unmated human with a goddamn target on her back, all because of me.
Let’s get this over with.
I open the door to the cabin, knocking off snow from my boots, then quickly slipping them off. My gaze stays on the floor, knowing I’m not strong enough to look at Junie and ignore her. It’s better if I pretend I don’t see her.
“Silas.”
My heart aches as it reaches out toward her, but I continue walking toward my room. It’s not like my door will provide any actual relief, but I can pretend it’ll make a difference. It’ll be a small wall she can’t break, the only protection I have for right now, as I think about what to say to her.
“Silas, you can’t do this.” Her voice breaks, and I slow down, but I can’t stop.
She’s everything I want and everything I can’t have.
Doesn’t she see that? Can’t she see how bad I am for her?
If she wants to have the life she’s dreamed of, it won’t be with me.
Everything with the pack is intense right now, and I don’t have any idea how the consolidation will go.
What if we are ambushed? What if that’s the time someone beats my seconds and kills me?
If we were bonded, she wouldn’t survive.
My death, the separation of our bond, would break her heart more than she could imagine.
“Silas.” Junie calls my name a third time, and I pause in front of my door.
I turn around to face her and wish I hadn’t. Even with the low light, I can see that her cheeks are stained with tears. She’s so strong, still, even after everything, standing a few feet from me, not backing down. If I went and locked myself in my room, she would find a way to break the door down.
“What? Is there something important you need to tell me, Junie?” I do my best to keep my voice even.
She takes a step toward me, and I have to fight every urge to remain still.
“Silas Woodfield, I choose you.”
“You…” The lock over my heart snaps, the spell I’ve had placed for so long no longer there.
It’s gone. The pull to Junie is stronger.
How is this possible? “No.” I shake my head, my hand shaking as I grip the handle to my room.
This can’t be happening. “No, you don’t.
You don’t know what you want, Junie.” Fuck, why can’t I open this door?
“I locked your door.” Junie muses. She’s leaning against the wall, one foot crossed over the other, and a smirk on her face. “I had to climb out the window, but clearly it was worth it.”
“Are you seriously joking right now?” I ask her, not able to keep up with the shift in mood.
Junie shrugs. “If I knew all it took to unlock that spell of yours was to tell you how I felt, I would have done it before I almost died. It would have saved me a lot of pain, you know. Maybe you would have reacted differently.”
“Differently?”
“Yeah, less of an asshole. You know?”
I chuckle, suddenly not able to contain my happiness. It’s like I’ve had a section of my heart locked for so many years, and now I forget why I was so worried to open it up.
“You choose me.” I repeat her statement, and she nods.
She pushes off the wall and walks toward me until she’s within grabbing distance. “Are you going to reject me? Or choose me?”