Chapter 22
22
Mateo
M ateo lifted the fist of wildflowers he’d gathered for Nikki. He had a vase for them. While they weren’t as flashy as the flowers from the shop, they suited her better anyway. They were wild and unique, not cultivated the way society thought they should be. He probably should have gotten them to begin with.
A smile tugged at his lips despite the sour way his afternoon had turned out. Caroline might have tracked him down and pushed her way into getting coffee with him, but she wasn’t going to take away the happiness he’d found with Nikki. He’d kept that part of his life secret from Caroline, and he couldn’t have been happier about that.
He marched into the house with his handful of wildflowers and hunted for the vase he knew was around somewhere. His sisters had gotten vases throughout the years from the occasional guy. They wouldn’t mind if he borrowed one.
The flowers looked good on the kitchen table. He stared at the vase with a tilted head, wondering if he should have at least picked up a card. Notes were nice, but saying something in person would probably be better.
Yes, something in person would be better for sure. Nikki seemed like the type who would prefer something thoughtful straight from the source.
He headed to his office to get some paperwork done. Nikki’s car hadn’t been out front, so she was likely running errands. Paxton wasn’t running around outside, so either he was with his mother, or he’d found some cowboys to spend time with. Or maybe one of Mateo’s sisters was watching him.
It was nice having the kid hanging around. He felt like one of the family already, and Mateo was looking forward to the day when he could make that permanent. The warmth that spread through his chest at the thought of officially forming a family with Nikki and her son had him reeling. Not even a few months ago, he’d never thought of himself as a family man in the traditional sense. A forever bachelor? Sure. But a dad?
He chuckled to himself, his thoughts going haywire rather than staying focused on his work. Maybe it was time he spoke to Nikki about all of this. She should know where he stood when it came to her boy. He couldn’t imagine she’d be upset.
Mateo lost track of time as he struggled to remain focused on the task at hand. There were documents he had to file, invoices he had to send out, and records he needed to send to his accountant, for heaven’s sake.
The door to the front house opened and then slammed shut as quick footsteps darted through the house and toward the stairs. Paxton had been living here long enough to be able to recognize his steps. Mateo pulled back from his desk and stood, intending to see who was with the boy when he heard her exasperated voice.
“What did I say, Paxton? No running.”
He frowned. She didn’t sound happy. More like she sounded exhausted. Mateo moved farther from his office and caught sight of her as she started up the stairs. Their eyes locked. She didn’t smile at him. Her expression was tight as her focus darted upstairs, then back to him. “Hey,” he said.
“Hey,” she said with a sigh.
That didn’t sound good. He should get her the flowers. He should pull her into his arms and tell her that whatever was bothering her would turn out okay. He had to do something, right? His fingers twitched at his side, and he nearly took a step toward her but stopped himself. “Everything okay?”
She glanced again up the stairs. Was something wrong with Paxton? He didn’t sound upset. Nikki’s shoulders slumped, and she came down the stairs before lingering at the base. “Can I ask you something?”
Mateo moved toward her. “Of course. You can ask me anything.”
She gnawed on her lower lip, and he got the feeling she wanted to look anywhere else but at him. Something was definitely wrong. He could feel it in the way the hair on the back of his neck stood on end. What happened today to send her into this mood?
“Nikki,” he said, reaching a hand out to her. When she gave a short shake of her head and wrapped her arms around herself, he dropped his hand to his side. The disappointment slithered inside him like a venomous snake, ready to strike.
Everything was okay. He was getting riled up over nothing. Just because she was having a bad day didn’t mean it had anything to do with them. She would have told him, right? Nikki didn’t play games. It was one of the things he liked about her. She was upfront about everything.
She heaved a sigh and finally lifted her gaze to meet his. “What were you up to today?”
Was that all? She wanted to know about his day? He blew out a nervous breath and chuckled. “I ran some errands in town. Had to drop off a few things at the post office. Picked up some feed from the store.” He wasn’t going to talk about the flowers or his visit with Caroline. There was no use in sharing that part of his day. Mateo rubbed the back of his neck, offering her a boyish grin. “I picked you some flowers.”
There was a flicker of interest in her eyes as she stared at him, but it quickly died down into smoldering embers of what might have been. “That’s it? That’s all that you did?”
He almost felt like she wanted him to say something more. But that was ridiculous, right? She didn’t know about his visit with Caroline, and if he had his way, she never would. Mateo shrugged. “That’s it. Nothing to write home about. You wanna see the flowers?”
She huffed, shaking her head as she muttered something that sounded almost like, “I should have known better.”
“What?” he asked, moving close enough to grab her hand, but she side-stepped him, refusing to let him touch her. “Nikki, what’s wrong?”
Her scowl knocked him off balance. “Nothing,” she snapped. “It’s been a long day. I’m exhausted. I have to go fix dinner soon, and Paxton wanted to go for a walk. I have to go.”
“I can go with you?—”
“No,” she snapped, his head whipping backward at her tone. “No,” she tried, softer this time. “I told him it could just be him and me. Mother-son time, you know?”
He tried to ignore the pain of rejection. They were still their own little family, no matter how much time he’d been spending with them. Occasionally, they were going to want their own time. Still, Mateo couldn’t shake the feeling that something had gone terribly wrong today and he needed to do something to help.
Letting her go right now wasn’t something he was prepared to do. This time, he reached for her and captured both of her hands in his own. “Hey,” he said softly, waiting for her to lift her gaze to meet his. When she finally gave him what he sought, he pushed through the ache and focused on what he could do to help. “You know I’m here for you, right?”
She blinked rapidly and a flush crept across her skin, her eyes filling with emotion. But she looked away before he had a chance to get a full grasp on her reaction to his words. “Thank you, Mateo.” Her words were barely above a whisper. “But I’m fine. I don’t need you to rescue me or do anything for me right now. I’ve had a bad day, and I just want to spend some time with my son.”
He opened his mouth to argue, but Paxton’s voice drifted toward them from the upper level.
“Mom? Are you ready?”
Mateo’s eyes landed on the boy, who was now dressed in his boots, hat, and pair of jeans. He looked like he belonged on the ranch. Heck, he looked just like Mateo had when he was a kid. Mateo grinned at the boy, and Paxton grinned back.
“Are you coming, too?”
Before Mateo could accept the invite, Nikki jumped in. “Mateo is busy this afternoon. He’s got some work to do in his office, kiddo.”
Mateo frowned at Nikki. She was pushing him out. It couldn’t be clearer than it was at that moment.
No . He had to remind himself. She’d said herself that she wanted to spend time with her son. It was normal for a mother to want that—alone time with her boy. Mateo swallowed back the desire to ask her if he’d done something wrong. This was just his lack of self-confidence. Apparently, he hadn’t gotten over what Caroline had done to him.
It begged the question: had there been signs? Had he missed something when he’d been with Caroline that would have tipped him off that she wasn’t interested in him anymore?
Nikki’s eyes flickered with pain, and she pulled her hands from his grasp with a sad smile. “We’ll be back in time for me to prepare supper. It’s just a nature walk.”
Paxton skipped down the stairs, his boots thunking against them with each step he took. “Bye-bye, Mateo. See you soon.”
Mateo turned, watching them exit out the front door. She hadn’t even asked for her flowers. He hadn’t gotten a chance to give them to her and tell her he loved her. Did she even care?
He shut his eyes just as the front door did. He couldn’t allow his insecurities to get the better of him. He was better than that. They were better than that. People had bad days. He’d had one, hadn’t he?
Mateo rolled his shoulders and blew out a calming breath. This was just a bump in the road. One bad day didn’t mean anything in the grand scheme of things. He nodded more to himself than anything else.
Seeing Caroline today must have done a number on him. He was second-guessing everything. It wasn’t fair to Nikki for him to overreact.
At least that was what he kept telling himself as he slipped back to his office. He had every intention of getting back to work, but that didn’t happen. He ended up staring at the paperwork on his desk, unseeing, his thoughts shifting to the events that led him to this moment—the events that occurred nearly ten years ago.
He couldn’t recall a single thing that could have clued him into Caroline’s plans on their wedding day. There were no signs he could think of that he’d been blind enough to ignore. The way Nikki was behaving was nothing like the way Caroline had behaved. And yet he couldn’t help but worry—not that Nikki was seeing someone else. He was worried she was pulling away and would end up choosing someone else over him.