Chapter 25
25
Nikki
C aroline : NIKKI! We have to hang again. Big news!
Nikki clutched her phone as she read the message that had just come through her social media account. She could almost imagine the glass shattering beneath the force as she scowled at the message. There was only one reason why Caroline would send that. Something had happened between herself and Mateo.
Unless she was lying.
Nikki didn’t dare hope. She refused to lose herself in the disappointment that her relationship with Mateo had become.
After a week of avoiding him, she’d managed to convince herself to spend time with him—mostly because Paxton had insisted that she needed to see how good he’d gotten in the saddle.
Her son had been right. He was a natural if there ever was one, and he’d be so disappointed when he found out that they’d have to move from this place and find a small apartment above a store or something.
She lifted her eyes to her son, ignoring the message as she shoved the phone into her pocket. As if against her will, her focus drifted to Mateo. Everything was still strained. She knew he could tell she wasn’t happy, and she hated herself for it. He deserved better.
She deserved better.
A sigh fell from her lips, and she found herself wishing she could just go up to him and tell him that they were over. It would solve so many problems. He’d have his freedom, and she wouldn’t have to wait for the other shoe to drop.
Her phone felt heavy in her pocket, demanding her attention. If Caroline had news, and she was being honest, that meant Mateo was still keeping things from her. Nikki could just ask Caroline what her news was. But what would she tell Mateo?
Hey, you know how I told you that I wasn’t on speaking terms with your ex-fiancée? Well, we’re hanging out now. Hope you don’t mind.
Nikki grimaced. That wouldn’t go over well at all.
She placed a hand on her stomach, attempting to quell the nerves. Nikki already knew what was going to happen. She wasn’t going to be able to stop herself. She’d speak to Caroline again despite the fact that the woman was utter poison. It was the only way she could figure out exactly what was going on between Mateo and Caroline, and then she’d confront him.
That rolling and twisting in her stomach thrashed even more at the thought of that conversation. It needed to happen. She couldn’t avoid Mateo forever. She needed closure, and since he hadn’t told her he wanted to break things off, it would be up to her.
Nikki’s eyes found Mateo once more, and he offered her that adorable, crooked grin. Her heart crumbled at the sight of it. How was she going to let go of the one good thing she’d found?
He stopped Paxton’s ride for a moment, and they spoke in hushed tones. Mateo glanced over at her before saying something more and letting him continue. She watched as he headed straight for her.
Oh no. This was it. He was going to break things off, and she wouldn’t even have to speak to Caroline at all.
Mateo stood beside her, his arm brushing against hers. She craved his touch more than she wanted to admit. She wanted him to reach for her hand, to slip his arm around her waist and pull her toward him. She wanted him to show her how much he cared. But she’d been so cold lately. How could she expect him to do any of that?
He took off his hat and ran a hand through his hair, his eyes remaining locked on her son. “He’s doing well.”
“He has a good teacher,” she said.
One side of his mouth quirked upward. “You can’t beat natural talent.”
She nodded, shifting her feet in the dirt. They stood there in awkward silence for a few moments, and then Mateo sighed.
“I get that you’re going through something.”
Nikki stiffened.
“But I want you to know that I’m here for you if you want to talk.”
Right here. She could tell him right now that she wanted to talk about him seeing two women or at least entertaining it. She could demand answers.
But one look at her son, and she knew she couldn’t do that to him. She didn’t want to fight. She just wanted peace.
Nikki drew in a deep breath and glanced at him out of the corner of her eye. “Yeah, thanks.”
“Nikki—”
She cut him off. “I might have to run an errand later today or tomorrow. Do you think you could keep an eye on Paxton for me?” She really shouldn’t have asked him—especially since he might not be in Paxton’s life for much longer. Well, maybe she’d still want him to teach Paxton how to handle a horse while she worked here. Things would be different, though.
“Sure.” His voice tore her from her musings, and she eyed him once more.
“Thank you,” she whispered.
“I’d do anything for you, Nikki.” There was something about his tone that struck her at her core. It wasn’t exactly a goodbye, but there was resignation in it—as if he was preparing for their relationship to come to an end.
And with that realization, the rest of her heart fractured. She bit down hard, willing the tears to remain behind her eyes. She couldn’t break here. Not right now in front of Paxton. All she could do was nod.
* * *
“Where are you going? Want me to tag along?”
Nikki’s heart leaped into her throat as Sophia managed to come out of nowhere. She jumped and gaped at Sophia for a bit too long, her face flushing with embarrassment as she caught sight of Sophia staring at her with curiosity.
“You okay?” Sophia asked.
Nikki nodded. She wasn’t doing anything wrong. She was meeting up with a friend. No, not a friend. She was meeting up with Caroline to tell her once and for all to leave her alone. And if she got that tidbit of information that Mateo might be hiding from her, she could wash her hands of the whole situation once and for all. “I’m fine,” she rasped out, her hand on her chest. It still thundered, but due to being surprised or out of fear she’d get caught, she couldn’t be certain. “I’m just heading to town for a bit.”
“Want some company?”
Nikki practically choked out the words, “No, thanks. I just want… to be alone.” Lies. All of them. What she wouldn’t give to have Sophia at her side to tell Caroline off if she got too mouthy.
Sophia frowned, then stepped closer and lowered her voice. “Whatever it is that’s bothering you—holding you back—I want you to know one thing.”
Nikki itched to run. She didn’t want to be part of this conversation. She needed out. But Sophia’s hand on her arm kept her feet planted.
“You and Mateo? You’re the endgame, okay? That isn’t to say that times won’t get tough. I can’t tell you how often I’ve seen evidence of people losing out on something good just because they let something important fall through the cracks.”
Important .
Like honesty.
Who was she to judge, though? She hadn’t exactly been honest about what she was feeling. She hadn’t admitted to seeing him with Caroline. And she hadn’t asked him if he was having second thoughts about their own relationship.
The guilt was eating at her more these days. Even if she chose to turn around and speak to Mateo instead of going to visit with Caroline, she wasn’t sure she could say what needed to be said without at least finishing what she needed to with the woman who wanted to come between them.
Nikki did the only thing she could. She threw her arms around Sophia and whispered, “Thanks.”
Sophia pulled back and smiled. “Let me know if you ever need to talk about anything. And I’ll be here.”
Nikki nodded.
* * *
The restaurant was busy for a Saturday afternoon. Caroline had found them a booth, and she was already drinking a fruity cocktail. The second she saw Nikki, she waved her over with a shout. “There you are! I’m so glad you made it.”
Nikki paused near the hostess’s podium. Her gut was telling her to leave. She needed to speak to Mateo and work out her issues with him, not Caroline.
But the two of them had problems too—problems that Caroline was totally blind to.
Nikki took a steadying breath and headed for the booth. She slid across from Caroline and put her purse at her side. “We need to talk.”
“Oh, don’t I know it.” Caroline took a long swig of her drink and leaned forward conspiratorially. “I saw Mateo again.”
Nikki’s voice died in her throat. She’d been prepared to tell her ex-best friend that she was seeing Mateo, and Caroline needed to stay away. She’d pumped herself up enough to have the courage to tell the woman in front of her that she didn’t deserve to have Mateo again and had lost her chance. Last of all, she had planned on telling her to leave them both alone and find her own life.
But now?
Now, she was that shattered little girl that Caroline pushed around in high school all over again. The little girl who Caroline said would never find a guy because she wasn’t good enough. That little girl who had started to believe every veiled, derogatory comment that came from those perfect red lips.
Nikki blinked. “You did.”
Caroline nodded. “He was so sweet. You could tell he wanted to kiss me, but his sister was there.”
Sophia? Was she in on this too?
Suddenly, Caroline’s happy expression shifted to one of concern. Her brows pulled together, and she pouted. “Oh. That’s right. You had a crush on him once, didn’t you?”
Nikki was numb. She couldn’t move. Of course, Caroline would remember that.
She reached forward and patted Nikki’s hand. “It’s okay to be disappointed. He was totally out of your league anyway. He needs someone who can stand next to him—to be part of a power couple. Someone who can bring him to home plate. And you?” Her eyes trailed over Nikki with a flicker of disdain. “You’re out in left field, sweetie. He’d never want someone like you, anyway.”
The confession was in her throat at that moment. She wanted to tell Caroline that they were together. Mateo cared for her, not Caroline. But her doubts restrained her. Maybe Caroline was right.
“No,” Nikki mumbled, shaking her head.
“You say something?”
Nikki glowered at Caroline. “You’re wrong. Mateo is nothing like you. He’s kind and sweet, and he doesn’t care about that sort of thing. We’re dating.”
Caroline snorted a laugh. “Oh, sweetheart . Is that what he told you?”
Nikki clenched her hands into fists, hating the way Caroline was speaking to her.
Her lower lip protruded again, and she shook her head with a cluck of her tongue. “Normally, I’d be jealous that he spent time with you. But what I really feel is pity.”
Pity?
Caroline sighed. “Don’t feel dumb, Nikki. We can all fall for the lies of someone when they’re good at weaving them. Don’t you see it? We’re both being played. Me, because he’s trying to make me jealous. You because…” Her eyes trailed up and down her frame again. “Well, you get what I’m saying.”
Nikki couldn’t believe it. She wouldn’t believe it. Mateo was nothing like Caroline. He was good .
And yet he’d lied.
Twice.
That lump returned to her throat. How could she believe Mateo when she’d seen with her own eyes that they’d spent time together?
“Here, let me get you a drink. You look like you need one.” Caroline edged out of her seat and headed straight for the bar, leaving Nikki to drown in her despair. Within a few seconds, someone settled into Caroline’s vacant spot.
Slowly, Nikki lifted her eyes and stared at a handsome cowboy. His sleeves were short enough to show off his muscular form. He had a charming smile, and he pushed a drink toward her. He must work at the bar.
Her thoughts were confirmed when he cocked his head and said, “This one is on the house. Your friend said you were in need of a pick-me-up.”
Nikki offered him a small smile, accepting the glass. Her fingers accidentally brushed his, and she snapped back. “Sorry.”
“No worries, darlin’. Let me know if you need anything else.” He winked at her, but it did nothing. All Nikki could think about was Mateo’s smile, the way he smelled, and the way she felt when he touched her.
Nikki stared at the drink, frowning at its contents. She needed to get back home. She couldn’t just stay here and let Caroline drag her into the depths of her own personal purgatory. She needed to talk to Mateo. Either they were going to work this out or they were going to be over. One way or another, she’d have her answer.