Chapter 26
26
Mateo
M ateo’s world was crashing down around him.
This couldn’t be happening.
Not again.
He squeezed his eyes shut, an all-familiar numbness taking hold of his heart. No, he wasn’t numb. He was cold. His body had chilled from the inside out, and it felt like ice crystals were starting to fracture within his very soul.
Opening his eyes again, he stared at his phone’s screen.
Nikki was smiling. She was staring into the eyes of some stranger at a restaurant. The table had been set for two. It was a date.
His hand tightened on the device, and for a moment, he thought he might crack the screen with the strength of his grasp. With controlled fury, he placed the phone screen down on the counter.
Not again.
Why her?
She knew how this would affect him. She’d seen the trauma he’d had to overcome when Caroline had chosen another.
“Mateo?”
His head snapped around to find Paxton standing in the doorway, a worried crease between his brows. “Are you mad?”
His small, timid voice had Mateo’s heart lurching. Nikki hadn’t said anything to make him believe that her ex had been abusive. There was no reason for Paxton to be worried just because Mateo felt like everything was shattering around him. And yet, the look on that boy’s face had Mateo wondering just how little Nikki’s ex had cared for the boy.
As much as it pained Mateo, he put a smile on his face. “I’m sorry, bud. I got distracted.” He was supposed to be getting them popcorn for their movie. “You don’t want to miss any of the show. I’ll be right there.”
Paxton’s frown didn’t leave his face. He was smart. That kid clearly knew something was up, and it wouldn’t take long for him to bring it up to his mother.
A twist of pain wrapped around Mateo’s middle.
He couldn’t believe he was in this situation again. How could he have been so stupid as to allow himself to repeat the past?
Mateo watched the kid retreat, and he blew out a sigh as he laced his fingers atop his head and paced the kitchen. Maybe he was overreacting. The message didn’t exactly come from a reputable source.
Then again, Caroline had no reason to send it to him except to rub it in his face that the girl he was madly in love with was breaking his heart just like Caroline had.
His despair surged into fury. How she’d managed to discover that he was seeing Nikki wasn’t clear. He didn’t want to believe that Nikki had been lying about that, too. Maybe they had been in contact with one another.
Fingers wrapping around the counter to steady himself, Mateo sucked in a deep breath and told himself to focus. She’d said she was running errands. Sophia had said she wanted to be alone.
And yet he had photographic proof that neither one of those statements was true.
Even if the picture didn’t accurately tell the whole story, Nikki had lied.
She’d have a lot of explaining to do when she returned home.
* * *
A car door slammed shut, and Mateo stiffened. Beside him, Paxton sat on the couch with a giant bowl of popcorn that he’d barely touched. Neither one of them had been interested in chowing down. Mateo got the sense that Paxton could feel something was off. He’d been too quiet.
Did he know?
Had Nikki introduced him to that man in the picture?
Mateo’s hand curled into a fist, and he shut his eyes again before exhaling. “Hey, bud. I think your mom’s back. You keep watching the movie. It’s almost over.”
Paxton turned his face upward, that worried frown still marring his features. “Okay.”
Mateo flashed him a smile he hoped didn’t look as pained as he felt, and he ruffled the boy’s hair.
His heart thrashed with each step he took toward the door. His breathing was uneven, and it almost felt like he could crumble right there on the porch as she moved toward him. She stopped a few feet short of the steps, her eyes connecting with his.
Guilt.
He could see it in her eyes. The way they shuddered with the weight of a secret she didn’t want him to discover only made his gut churn. This had to be the worst possible betrayal she could have come up with.
And it hurt even more because of their past.
Mateo’s jaw flexed as he gripped the banister with both hands. Wood creaked beneath his hold of the railing. He didn’t want to think about the photo or the words Caroline had sent with them.
I told you I was the better fit. At least with me, you know what you’re getting into .
He took in a deep breath through his nose. Nikki and he were at a standoff. He wasn’t even sure if she’d be brave enough to come another step closer. The blood had quickly drained from Nikki’s face, and that was all the proof he needed to know she knew she’d been caught.
Maybe he was just a glutton for punishment. Because he needed to hear it from her own lips.
“How did your errands go?” he sniped.
She flinched and dropped her focus to her hands. “Mateo?—”
“Tell me something, Nikki.” He pushed away from where he stood and headed down the stairs, not caring that his voice sounded entirely too sinister. “Why are you pulling away from me?”
Her head snapped up, and it momentarily threw him off to see the surprise in her eyes. “I’m not?—”
“Yes, you are,” he bit out.
Nikki’s eyes narrowed to slits, and the guilt was completely overshadowed by a sharp, accusatory look. She folded her arms as the rate of her breathing increased. “If I pulled away, it’s because you lied .”
“ I lied? That’s rich, coming from you.” He released a mirthless laugh and spun around to pace just like he had in the kitchen. He completely disregarded the fact that she thought he was capable of that sort of deception. “I can’t believe I allowed myself to give in to the fairytale.” He muttered it more to himself than anyone else. “I should have known that honest relationships are practically impossible to find.”
“You want to talk about honest ? I’ll give you honest,” she snapped, dragging him back to the present. “From the very beginning, I knew that you didn’t want me. Not really.”
His head whipped around so fast that he might have pulled something. What was she talking about? He’d been the one to seek her out. He’d been the one to fall first. He was the one with a shattered heart in his chest. Before he could lash out at her over everything he’d just seen, she cut him off.
Nikki waved a hand down herself. “You can’t tell me this is your first choice. I know I’m not the standard for beauty, but I guess it was too easy to get me to believe that you might want something different after spending your life dating shallow, stick-thin women like Caroline.”
“What are you talking about?” he blurted.
She rolled her eyes and let out a strangled huff. “Seriously? How long have we known each other? Have you forgotten that I’ve seen the girls you dated in high school? My best friend was the one you proposed to. You might not want to admit it, but you definitely had a type, and these curves? They don’t fit in that perfect little box, do they?”
His bewilderment was almost enough to distract him from the real issue at hand. “You think that I’m not attracted to you?” He’d given her no indication he felt any such thing. Where was her evidence? Mateo took a step toward her, frustrated beyond belief. “Nikki?—”
Her hand flew up between them, warding him off. “No. I get it now. I understand. This thing between us was a fling. It was nice while it lasted, but when—” Her eyes widened momentarily, and she looked away.
“When what, Nikki? What were you going to say?”
She wrapped her arms around herself and shook her head. “You know what? It doesn’t matter.”
“Yes, it does,” he seethed, his fury returning. “Because everything you’ve been telling yourself is a lie. Whatever it is you think is going on, it’s not true.”
She still glowered at him, shaking her head. “I thought you knew better. With your history? I thought you would have learned something.”
His mouth fell open. “What is that supposed to mean?”
Her lips pressed into a thin line. He wanted to shake the truth out of her. He wanted her to tell him what made her believe he’d done something so terrible that she’d go on a date with another guy. His hands shook as that picture filled his mind. He’d never considered himself a jealous guy. Heck, if Caroline had sent him a message without proof, he wouldn’t have believed it. Even after that woman had blown his world to pieces, he’d been willing to trust again.
He’d been an idiot.
“You don’t know what you’re talking about,” he hissed, dragging his phone from his pocket. “I would never hurt you. I would never lie to you. But this? Apparently, women are just made for betrayal.” He shoved the phone at her.
Nikki fumbled with it a moment, and then her eyes lowered to the screen. The words from Caroline were right above the picture of Nikki with the man Mateo didn’t know. She stared at the picture for a long moment, time slowing as all the pieces came together. When she lifted her eyes, tears lined her lashes. Without a word, she shoved the phone right back into his chest and stormed into the house.
That was it. No explanation. No attempts to clear her name.
Caroline had been right.
He lost track of time as he stood there. His limbs refused to operate the way they used to. That numbness returned full force. What had he expected? That she’d drop to his feet and plead for him to forgive her?
Fire prickled behind his eyes, and he dug his fingernails into his hands. He wasn’t going to cry over this. When Caroline had turned his life inside out, he’d told himself he wouldn’t blindly trust anyone. That was why it had taken him ten years to finally be willing to open his heart. The fact that Nikki had managed to get past his defenses only showed what a fool he still was.
“Hey, what are you doing out here? Weren’t you supposed to be hanging with Paxton today?”
Sophia’s voice filtered to his ears past the raging thoughts that spun tumultuously in his head. Slowly, his eyes shifted to her, finding concern laced in their depths.
“Yeah,” his voice cracked. “But Nikki is back, so…”
She nodded. “Okay. And why does it look like you’ve been hit by a bus?”
He sucked in a deep inhale, feeling like his lungs were screaming for air. “Maybe because it feels like I have.”
“What’s going on?” she said.
When he didn’t answer, she grabbed his upper arm and pulled him back to the steps to sit down.
“Mateo, what’s wrong?” Sophia prodded again. “Did something happen with the ranch? With Nikki?”
“It’s over, Sophia,” he rasped, not trusting his voice. “We’re over.” He placed his head in his hands and fought the temptation to completely disintegrate in front of his sister. She’d been there after Caroline. She’d witnessed him breaking and had helped him put the pieces back together. He couldn’t make her do that again. “You were right,” he whispered, not looking at her. “I should have never dated someone who works for me.”
“I don’t think I ever said that,” she said softly.
“Doesn’t matter.” He hated how his voice shook. “Because it’s true. It’s going to be torture having her here, not being able to touch her—hold her.” Love her .
Except he’d keep on loving her. He knew he would, which was why he understood on a much deeper level that he wouldn’t be able to survive this one. He loved Nikki—more than he’d loved Caroline even. And seeing her every day, living under the same roof as her—already his heart was withering up and dying inside.
“What happened?” Sophia placed a hand on his back. “Whatever it is, I’m sure it’s just a big misunderstanding. Communication is really important, Mateo?—”
“Don’t you think I know that?” His whole body stiffened, and she gasped at the movement. Mateo glared at his sister. “I learned that lesson a long time ago. I know how important it is to talk and get the truth out. I tried. I asked her to come clean before I accused her of…”
Sophia’s eyes bounced from one of his eyes to the other as she searched his face, waiting for the answers. He couldn’t tell her. Not the whole truth. She’d hate Nikki for it. Their friendship would suffer. Then who would Nikki have to turn to?
Even after what she’d done, he couldn’t do that to her.
Mateo took a deep breath and shook his head before getting to his feet. “She doesn’t want me, Sophia. And you can’t force someone to love you no matter how much you might love them first.”
“Mateo—”
“Drop it, okay? I’m an adult. We’ll be cordial. It’s not like I’m going to kick her out or fire her. I should have known better, and now I can suffer the consequences.”
“Mateo—” she tried again, but he ignored her and headed for the barn. He needed to get out of there. He needed to clear his head and figure out his next steps. One thing was for certain, he wasn’t going to reply to Caroline. That message had been clear. She was gloating. She wanted to rub salt in the wound after she’d sliced him open.
The worst part was that she’d finally taught him a lesson he should have already learned.
Trust was an imaginary concept—one he’d never fully obtain.