Chapter Fourteen
Simon
I walked into the clubhouse behind Tony—no, Matlock. The interior of the building didn’t match what I expected. All the time the Silver Shadows had lived in Diamond Creek, this was the first time I’d been here.
The old ladies had invited me numerous times. Hell, even Goliath had invited me to come to the parties they opened up to the public. But Tony always said no.
He said it was too much of a risk. Someone might notice the way I looked at him. Hell, I looked at them all the same way. Like they were a fucking snack to devour.
What he was really worried about was someone noticing the way he looked at me because Tony couldn’t control his face. He wore every emotion on his sleeve.
Including how much he loved me.
That was what made it hurt so much. That was why I flip-flopped back and forth between staying with him and leaving his ass. I knew he loved me. The logical side of my brain told me I wasn’t the one he was ashamed of. No, he was afraid of how others would react.
Knowing what he went through years ago and having lost his sister, I understood, to a point. But you couldn’t live your life behind a closed door. You couldn’t be happy stuck in a room where no one saw you. We were attention-seeking people.
It was why people dressed the way they did, why they talked the way they did. It was human nature to seek out attention and acceptance. But Tony was afraid to ask for that acceptance.
“Simon! What happened?” Sam came rushing over, handing off her daughter to whoever stood nearby. She caged my face between her hands and tilted side to side, looking at my injuries. “What the hell, Matlock? You’re supposed to be taking care of him,” she said, glaring at Tony over her shoulder.
“Sam, I’m fine.” I pulled her hands away and held them tightly. “Just walked into a door.” I tried to laugh it off.
But when her eyes went wide, and she spun on Tony, her hands on her hips, she practically snarled out the words, “Did you do this?”
Tony’s eyes bulged at her accusation, and before he could answer, I came to his defense.
“No, Sam. I’m sorry, it was a joke in bad taste.
T—” I paused. “Matlock would never hurt me. None of the guys would. I went to the diner last night and had an altercation with someone who didn’t agree with my lifestyle. ”
Her gasp was loud as her hands flew up, trying to cover the sound. Again, she spun on Tony. “And did you handle it?”
“Yes, he did, Momma,” Mimic whispered and grabbed Sam’s hand, pulling her away. “I was there; he took care of it.”
“Okay,” she agreed with a sigh.
I looked up at Tony and whispered, “I’m sorry.”
He shook his head, letting me know the interaction was exactly the type of shit he wanted to avoid. It was just one of the many reasons he didn’t want me around the club.
I sighed and walked over to the bar, sitting on a stool next to Johnny.
“Hey, handsome, do you know where Grace is?” I avoided Tony’s eyes.
I flirted with every guy in the club. If I didn’t, they would look at me with questions in their eyes, and if Tony didn’t want to draw attention to us, then he’d have to get over it.
“Morning, Simon. She should be down shortly. She’s excited about getting her haircut.”
“Someone should have called me sooner; I would have gladly come and cut her hair.”
Johnny sighed. “She’s been trying so hard to work up the courage to come to the salon. She did so great when we were out of state last year. But the stores in town still hit kind of hard. We’re all hoping that once the baby is born, she’ll feel ready.”
“She’s working with Haizley, right?”
Johnny nodded as the prospect behind the bar asked me if I would like a cup of coffee. When I opened my mouth to answer, an arm came around from behind and dropped the coffee cup in front of me.
Looking over my shoulder, my brow scrunched in confusion when I saw Tony. I was speechless and barely croaked out a thank you. Tony nodded and walked off down the hall.
I stared at the coffee cup.
“It won’t bite,” Johnny whispered as he leaned over into my space.
“I don’t believe you.” I choked out a laugh and cautiously picked up the cup.
I took a sip and closed my eyes. It was perfect, exactly the way I liked it, and I wondered what the hell he was doing. He’d only been staying with me for a few days. Would people believe he’d learned how I drink my coffee so quickly?
“Simon.”
I looked around Johnny and found King standing at the mouth of what looked like a hallway.
“Morning, King. Is Grace ready?”
King sighed and glanced over his shoulder. “Would you mind coming up to my room?”
I stood up immediately. “Not at all.”
I followed King up two flights of stairs to his room. The entire walk, I felt like, any minute, Tony would jump out and stop me. That his jealousy would override his rationale, and he would finally accept that he couldn’t live without me.
It was a fool’s game.
When I looked over my shoulder a fourth time, I heard King chuckle. I scrunched my brow and asked, “What’s so funny?”
King shook his head and said, “Nothing.”
We stopped in front of his door, and he paused with his hand on the doorknob. “Give him time, Simon. He’ll come around.” Then he opened the door to his room, and Grace’s gasp caught my attention.
I focused on Grace as anger radiated off her. She glared at King, who lifted his hands.
“Already been dealt with,” he said and slipped back into the hall, closing the door behind him.
“Who did it?” Grace asked.
“Did what?” I asked, confused and still mulling over what King had said.
“Give him time, Simon. He’ll come around.”
What did he mean?
Who was he talking about?
I looked at the door behind me.
Did he know?
About me and Tony?
No, he couldn’t know.
How would he know?
“Your face, Simon. Who did that to your face?”
Absently, my hand reached up to touch the bandage on my cheek. I didn’t answer Grace. I turned and looked at the door, still confused. Still questioning King’s words.
“Simon!” Grace called.
“I’m sorry, Grace. What did you ask?”
Grace studied me; her eyes roamed over my face. All at once, I realized what she was asking.
“Oh, this?” I laughed it off as I waved my hand in a circle over my face. “Cletus and I had a difference of opinion.”
“And did Matlock help Cletus see your side of things?” she asked, standing with her arms crossed over her bulging stomach.
“He did,” I answered then quickly aimed the attention on her. “Look at you!”
Her hands rubbed over her belly. “I know. I’m as big as a house.” She smirked at me. “I’m a duplex!” she cried.
I laughed out loud. I’d missed Grace. She was the only other person I knew who had a love for the show Friends that rivaled my own. We often quoted obscure lines that only a true fan would know.
“How are you feeling?” I asked as I looked around the room. It was more of an efficiency apartment than it was a room.
“Pretty good. I have about six weeks left, and I’m hoping King makes it that long.”
“King?”
“I might kill him before then. He’s driving me crazy. I was going to meet you in the common room, but when he said the only way he would let me downstairs was if he carried me, I said no.”
I rolled my lips between my teeth. “Do you want to sneak downstairs now that he’s gone?”
“No,” she said with a sigh.
I smiled at her and grabbed a chair from the small kitchen table in the corner. “Have a seat, my love. Let’s get you freshened up. You should have called me sooner. I could have come every six weeks for a trim.”
“I think I want to cut it all off.”
I gasped, and my hand flew to my chest. “Absolutely not. Hair decisions are not something you make on the fly.”
“I’m just so tired of messing with it. I don’t have the energy.”
“And once that baby is born, you won’t be able to pull it up out of your face. No, ma’am. We will not be cutting more than an inch or two off this hair.”
Grace had gorgeous honey-gold hair. It was long and fell in waves that could almost be called curls. “Trust me, Grace. I have had too many clients whine about making a drastic change while their hormones were out of whack.”
“Fine,” she huffed. “Can you braid it for me when you’re done so I can have a day or two that I don’t have to deal with it?”
“Girl, I will come over every couple of days and re-braid your hair until you have this baby if that’s what you need.”
“Simon, you’re the best!”
I got to work trimming Grace’s hair, and she sat quietly with her eyes closed. I knew she was trying to relax. Every so often, she would wince.
“You okay?” I asked when her hand rubbed at the side of her stomach.
“Yeah, here.” She grabbed my hand and placed it where hers had been. I didn’t have to wait long before the baby kicked.
“Oh my God,” I cried.
I’d felt babies move hundreds of times. Every time I had a pregnant woman in my chair, she wanted me to feel the baby move. But somehow with Grace it was different. Knowing everything she’d been through. The weeks of stress from not knowing if the baby was King’s.
Tony had told me everything. There wasn’t much we kept from each other. We both knew he wasn’t supposed to share club business with me, but given how many secrets we kept from our friends and the club, a few more didn’t make much difference.
I stared at my hand. I loved being a man; I loved having a dick.
But there was a part of me that had always wished I could carry my own child.
It would never be a reality. Sure, I could be a father someday.
But I’d need a surrogate, and I might have to do it on my own, but no matter the advancements in medical science, I’d never feel what Grace was feeling.
“How are you doing with everything, Simon? I didn’t even ask.”
I waved her off. “I’m fine.”
Grace grabbed my hand. “Don’t do that. Don’t diminish what you’re going through. You have to be terrified.”
“I am, but I have faith in To—Matlock as a lawyer.”
Grace smiled and asked, “How is it being locked up in the house with him?”
I shrugged. “We don’t really interact much. He works on the case while I sit around bored out of my mind.”
“Simon,” she pressed.
“What do you want me to say, Grace? That I lust after my lawyer every moment of the day? Of course I do; the man is a freaking God. But then I lust after all the Silver Shadows. Especially Goliath.”
I waggled my eyes at her, trying to draw attention away from Tony and me. There was nothing I could say. The only person I had ever confided in, besides Tony, was Sadie.
And Sadie was gone. I didn’t know where she was; I could only hope she was safe. Otherwise, everything I’d done would be for nothing.