Chapter 16
chapter sixteen
ivory
I sat in the lobby of the Blue’s Paradise Resort, waiting for the woman I’d been chatting with over Zoom to appear. It was ten minutes to our meeting time, but I hoped that she’d be ready to start as soon as she got here.
Things between Donavan and I were a little bit awkward, or maybe it was just me.
He was acting the same, but something in me felt off.
Every time he did something nice or sweet for me, I wanted to shout my feelings from the rooftops but my mouth and heart refused to cooperate.
I knew the moment I did, everything would change between us, the same thing happened in my past relationship.
My ex became this different person and I felt like I was with her doppelganger.
She was meaner, more controlling; I became a prisoner in that relationship but I was too wrapped up in love to recognize the signs.
“Ivory?” I looked up to see a black woman with sandy reddish hair dressed in a denim jumpsuit.
“Clarissa, it is so nice to meet you.” I stood up to shake her hand but she went in for a hug. I felt all of her nervous energy, so I squeezed her a bit tighter.
Damn, Clarissa is gorgeous.
Instantly, a tinge of guilt filled me. I wrangled in my feelings because right now wasn’t the time to unpack that.
“Ugh, I needed that hug. Anyway, let me give you a tour of the rooms where the rehearsal dinner and the wedding will be held.” I followed her throughout the lobby.
When I followed her into the space, my jaw dropped at its beauty. The dome structure gave it a magical ambiance. I could see all of her ideas come to life in this room. There was a chandelier hanging down to bring in a timeless touch.
“Wow, this is breathtaking. I see the tables are already here, ready to go. Tell me how excited you are on a scale from one to ten.”
Her huge grin was a telltale, “It is everything I ever wanted. I just wish—never mind, I don’t want to bombard you with my relationship problems.”
I looked at my watch, we had a few minutes to talk. I needed her to have a clear head so I could do my job.
“We can chat for a few minutes, what’s going on?”
“It’s my fiancée, she’s been distant and I can’t understand why.
I asked her if she wanted to call this whole thing off, but she insists that she’s just been stressed about providing for us.
I told her that my job could handle things for a while, but yeah.
I’m stumped on what to do, she was supposed to be here with us today but has some last minute work stuff to do.
I’m sorry, I’ll stop rambling.” My heart went out to her.
“Can I be honest?” She nodded.
“When someone shows you who they are, don’t try to change what you see.
If she is showing you that maybe marriage isn’t the right step for you guys right now, maybe you should pay attention.
Please, if I overstepped, I apologize. I just wish I paid attention when my ex showed me the same signs.
” She wiped a stray tear and I hurried to give her the tiny packet of tissues I kept handy.
“Thank you, I’m sure everything will be okay. Let me show you where the ceremony will be held, I almost lost my mind when I saw it.”
I gave her my best professional smile, but I had a sinking feeling that there wasn’t going to be a wedding here this weekend.
I searched high and low on Clarissa’s social media for just a sliver of her fiancée, but she didn’t post anything. If I didn’t know any better, I would have thought she made her up.
“Princess!” Donavan called from the front door, he left before me and I still beat him home.
“In here,” My spirit had been disturbed since my meeting with Clarissa earlier. She was so excited but her fiancée’s behavior was fishy. However, it seemed as if I was the only one who could smell the trout.
Donavan walked in and dropped a kiss on my lips. I wrapped my arms around him to keep him in place.
“How are you?” He questioned.
“I’m good but I’m worried about my client. How was your day?” Releasing him from my entrapment, he sat his bags next to the couch.
He shrugged, “You know how I get around this time. My focus is on ten and I disassociate from the outside noise. A photographer came by and took some press photos. It was cool, I’m tired.
Come get in the tub with me and tell me all about your client.
” He took off his shirt, the muscles in his back flexing, making it hard to breathe around the pool of want filling me.
I followed him to the garden tub he had in this place, he added my favorite body wash and some epsom salt. My eyes watched every article of clothing fall off his body, if nothing else was true, I was in love with his body. But how could I not be?
“Stop drooling and objectifying me.” He teased, towering over me. He slowly unbuttoned my blouse, the material gently falling from my shoulders. Donavan placed a few soft kisses on my neck, then turned me around to unclasp my bra. I shivered at his touch as he reached around to unbutton my pants.
He lowered himself until I felt his lips on my ass. “Mmm, you smell so good, Ivy.” I have been sweating all day.
“Donavan, please, I’m all sweaty.” My panties were moved to the side. He clamped down my pulsating bud, my knees buckling at the sensation. I had to hold on to the edge of the sink.
“Bend over and close your eyes.” I didn’t need to be told twice, I could barely keep them open in the first place.
He spread my cheeks apart and took one huge lick to my slickened lips. The pleasure was always too much with him. His tongue flickered my bud too fast for me to count.
“Baby, please, I need—” I didn’t know what I needed. I just needed him.
“You need to relax and let me take care of you.” My toes curled painfully at this point. I squeezed my eyes shut tighter.
Donavan used everything he could think of to take me to that heavenly place.
donavan
Licking my lips, I still tasted her. I wasn’t done eating but she almost fell asleep on me standing up.
I pulled her pretty ass feet into my hands to give her a massage.
“Tell me about this client, why does she have you stressed? Is it the usual wedding jitters?” Ivory’s mini vacation was over now and she was back to business.
“Hmm you know I can’t talk with you doing that.” Anytime I touched her, whether sexually or sensually, she was putty in my arms.
That had to count for something, right? I wasn’t trying to force my love on her. But honestly, I knew Ivory loved me, or at least, I felt that shit anytime we were together lately. Our bond was stronger than before, she looked at me differently.
The same love stricken look I gave her, she returned.
Then she’d jump scared and shake it off.
What did she think was going to happen if she just admitted the truth?
I wanted to bring it up but I didn’t want to pressure her.
She was still acting weird from our disagreement at the beach, but I knew she was fighting the war within herself.
“I know you down bad for me, Ivy,” She scrunched up her nose at me.
“I think it’s you that’s down bad for me.” I stopped smiling so that she wouldn’t take my next few words as a joke.
“Ivory, I am so down bad for you, I’d agree to a damn bucket list to help you figure out your own feelings.
I’m so down bad for you that I moved you into my house so that I could make sure you were going to survive after your break up.
I’m so down bad for you that I’m willing to do all of those things and more just to see you happy.
I love you, Ivory Jones, and I have for a very long time.
I know that you’re scared of what we could be, but to keep it real with you, so am I.
I don’t know what you’ll decide once this experiment is over.
You could realize that you don’t feel the same and I’d have to be okay with that.
I will have to rewire my brain to life before we took this step.
“It’ll be one of the hardest things I’d ever have to do, but I would never want you to choose me over yourself.
So yeah, I am down bad for you. I didn’t want to scare you with my feelings before, but fuck it.
I can’t keep holding them inside, shit, I don’t want to.
You deserve to know that every morning and night, I pray for you.
I dream about you on most nights, and I think about how I could make you happier than the day before.
I went to Slatesville Uni because I knew you were accepted there.
Honestly, I never want to be without you.
Even if it frightens you, we can be scared together.
” Clearing my throat of all the emotion that was lodged there, it was hard to breathe.
My chest was pounding, but at the same time, there was a lightness to it.
I had been holding on to that confession for a long ass time. Never did I think I’d ever admit it.
Ivory was the only woman outside of my family that could make me feel so much. She was the reason I believed in love and romance, there was no way I could love the same woman for years knowing she didn’t feel the same. I was content with loving her, no matter what she felt towards me.
Her eyes twinkled with a few unshed tears, I wasn’t expecting her to say anything in response to my speech. I only wanted her to know how I felt, I’d been holding in those feelings for decades, so this was long overdue.
She removed her foot from my grasp, and came over to straddle me. The electricity between our bodies had me ready to combust.
Ivory pressed her lips to mine, but it wasn’t a sexual kiss. It was tender and timid at the same time. Just like her.
She swallowed, I watched her open and close her mouth, daring her to trust me enough with her emotions.
Her lips trembled as she spoke, “You are the first man in my life to have my trust. From the time we met in high school, you’ve shown me nothing but genuine friendship and love.
It was strange to experience because for a while, I was waiting for the other shoe to drop.
Waiting for you to renege on a promise but you never did.
If anything, you exceeded my expectations.
All of this by just being my friend.” I kissed a few of her tears away, encouraging her to continue.
I’m sure she felt just how fast my heart was racing.
“And now, we’ve entered a new dimension and I’m still scared that things will change for us.
I’ve had to deal with heartbreak, disappointment, and a rediscovery of self in the last two months.
I learned that I blame myself for not walking away from that toxic relationship before she walked away from me.
I blame myself for feeling guilty of my feelings for you.
You’re the only man I ever felt anything for, sometimes I need you so much it’s hard to function without you in my ear telling me what to do.
I’m still scared but I-I love you, too. I don’t want things to change between us, I love us the way we are. I-”
“Run that last part back,” I wasn’t above begging for it. “Please…”
“I’m still scared, but I love you, too.” I kissed her on the cheek.
“Again.” On the forehead.
“I’m still scared but I love you, too.” On the neck.
“I’m still scared, but I love you, too.” On the lips.
Mercilessly, I wrapped my arms around her and kissed her until she was left panting.
“I love you, Ivory, so damn much. We can navigate the scared feelings together, just like we’ve done everything else. There’s no safer place on this earth than with me, I promise you that.”
“Okay, I trust you.” I lifted Ivory off my lap because even after everything we just said, we weren’t ready to go that next step.
We got out the tub to get clean in the shower, “Tell me about the rest of your day.”
I listened attentively as she went on about her MIA bride to be. In the back of my mind, I was doing fucking cartwheels at the revelation that my best friend loved me back.