Chapter 19 Weston
Weston
I thought I had waited long enough before returning to the gym to see Antonia and her boyfriend.
When I opened the door, our gazes met, and there was no turning back.
I saw avoidance, though, and I remembered how, when my relationship with Brianna had started to fall apart, I’d mastered the art of avoiding everything.
Antonia came toward me, completely unaware of what I was feeling, which was my fault. I needed some time to take the sting out of what I’d seen tonight.
I had hoped, when I looked across the gym to see her, that she’d be there and maybe wave at me. It was stupid of me to think she would even be interested in me. I probably had ten years on her, and I was a teacher. There was no way I could compete with the big corporate men in Boston.
Except, financially I could. Although I suspected Antonia didn’t believe me when I’d told her I used to be a professional baseball pitcher. If I wasn’t a sports fan, which she clearly wasn’t, I doubted I’d believe me either.
I shook my head and chided myself for even having those thoughts. We’d known each other for a week, and loosely at that. There was no reason for me to think Antonia was even interested in me. I was the one who was attracted to her.
She called my name, and my heart sang happily at the sound of her voice, but my mind screamed to keep walking. I couldn’t. My emotions were mine, and not at all her fault.
“Oh, sorry. I didn’t see you. What’s up?
” I hated lying, but I couldn’t think of anything else to say.
Even this felt wrong, when I wanted to point at the man she was clearly with and ask who he was, even though I knew.
Cutter had told me before the game started that Toni’s boyfriend was going to keep his stats for the game.
Wasn’t that special?
“Uh . . .” She looked back at the Vaughns before looking at me. I could see it in her hazel eyes, the confusion. My sour attitude came off me in waves. I was sure of it. “I wanted to remind you about dinner.”
“Dinner?” Hell yes, I wanted to have dinner with her, but not with her boyfriend there.
“This morning, I invited you to dinner with us. Actually, it wasn’t dinner, but you were going to come over and fill me in on the travel stuff. I think we’re getting sandwiches. What can I get you?”
I couldn’t stand there and look at her, not without being pissed. She was the first woman I had met since Brianna, and I liked her. It was a schoolboy crush, the same I warned my boys about, and yet I had fallen quickly. Her boyfriend walked toward us, and I had zero desire to meet him.
“Maybe some other time.”
I greeted parents in the hall, and instead of leaving, I went toward my office. In there, I kept the lights off and the blinds pulled, needing some space to clear my thoughts.
Of course, they were about Antonia. From the first time I’d seen her across the gym, I’d had this wild attraction to her. It had only increased when she came into my office the next day and told me about Miriam.
This woman was putting her life on hold to take care of her friend’s kids and planned to raise them after her friend died, which only increased my attraction to her.
I really thought that after breakfast this morning, I would be in the clear to ask her to lunch or dinner, or just spend time with her at the house.
When I invited her to use my home gym, I meant it and hoped she would take me up on my offer. It was there for her to use whenever she needed to get away or wanted to exercise without the gym bros staring at her.
I needed to heed my own invitation and hit the weights or the heavy bag when I got home. My gym was the perfect place to let go of whatever was building inside.
An hour after the game, I finally left my office. The coast was clear; all the players and parents had gone home, and I was certain I wouldn’t run into Antonia. I assumed she’d be at Miri’s, eating the sandwich she said they were going to get for dinner.
On my way home, I stopped at the Ridgeview Diner, one of our most popular places and the bar I liked to hang out at. I walked in and headed to the left where the bar was, then sat down at the first empty stool.
“Coach, what can I get for ya?” Lee Waters, the owner, said.
“Working tonight, huh?”
“Yep, short staffed,” he huffed.
“Sorry to hear that. I’ll get the fish and chips dinner and a water.”
“Sounds good.” He walked away, only to return a minute later with a tall glass of ice water.
“Thanks.” I drank most of it down, wishing it were something stronger, but that would have to wait until I was home.
When I started teaching, I vowed not to drink in town where my students could see me.
A lot of the parents and some of the kids, when they were younger, used to watch me play, and they saw me as a role model.
To me, role models didn’t drink and drive, even if it was just one. Sometimes, that was all it took.
My dinner came, and I ate in relative peace. A few people I knew came in, said hi, and congratulated me on the win before moving on to their table.
While I ate, I watched a college game on one of the TVs in the bar and chatted with Lee whenever he refilled my water. I paid my tab and drove home, taking the long way around so I wouldn’t have to drive by the Vaughns’ house. It was petty, but for my own good.
As soon as I got home, I let Scout out in the back.
Normally, I’d take him for a walk, but it wasn’t in me tonight.
He deserved better from me, and I would have to make it up to him tomorrow.
I stayed out with him, mostly out of fear of coyotes or bears.
Regardless of my backyard being fenced, hungry wildlife would find a way to a food source.
After changing into some shorts, Scout and I went into the garage.
I turned on some music and began working the heavy bag.
With each punch, I told myself my feelings for Antonia were ridiculous.
I knew love at first sight didn’t exist, and anything I’d imagined was nothing more than seeing a beautiful woman across the court after being alone for so long.
Maybe that was a sign I needed to put myself out there, join a dating app or two, or finally let the ladies in town set me up with someone. The problem there was I knew everyone in town, and none of them ever sparked any type of response from me. Not like Antonia had. That had to be something.
The side door to my garage opened in a burst, startling the shit out of me. I purposely kept it unlocked so my friends could use my gym whenever they wanted. I was startled to find Cutter standing there, his face red and his chest heaving.
I went to the counter and pressed pause on my phone, silencing the music. “You okay?” I asked as I put my T-shirt on.
He shook his head slowly.
“Come on in.” I unwrapped my hands and grabbed two bottles of water, handing him one.
“Wanna talk?”
Cutter didn’t say anything as he held the bottle.
I had hoped he’d come to me when it finally hit him that his mom was dying.
Since he’d gotten the news, he’d been resigned.
I didn’t want to push him into having to talk to me or Jerome, but I also didn’t want him to lose his shit in the middle of a game because his emotional cup had tipped over.
“We’re moving,” he said dully.
I sighed and ran my hand over my damp hair. This was something I had expected, and I immediately wished I had gone over there tonight to discuss Cutter’s summer plans. The basketball team could manage without him, but not the baseball team. He was an integral part of the rotation.
“When I spoke to Antonia this morning, she said she hadn’t made a decision on where you’d live.”
Cutter looked at me. “You knew?”
I nodded. “We had breakfast this morning and talked about it.”
“How did she seem?”
I tilted my head and looked at him oddly. “I’m not sure what you mean.”
Cutter huffed and began pacing. “Did she seem like she wants us, or did she act like we’re nothing but a fucking burden to her?”
I held my hand up but then dropped it quickly. Cutter had earned the right to cuss. His life was imploding, and a little colorful language wasn’t going to change that.
How had Antonia seemed?
Resigned?
Accepting?
It wasn’t going to matter what I said, because Cutter was going to take whatever I said the wrong way.
“Why don’t you tell me what happened, and I’ll see what I can do to help?” I motioned for Cutter to sit on the bench, but he shook his head and continued pacing.
“I came downstairs to get something to drink. Toni and Brendan were in the kitchen. I could tell they were arguing, so I sort of just waited for a moment to interrupt them.”
In other words, he was eavesdropping like any other teenager would do.
“I heard Brendan say he’s sending us to boarding school, that it’ll help me get into Harvard.
” He ran his hand through his hair. “I don’t want to go to Harvard, Coach.
And he said Nova will go to one, too, but she’s just a little kid and .
. .” He looked at me with tears streaming down his face.
“Do you think we could go to the same boarding school so she can stay with me? Who’s going to protect her if I’m not there? ”
My heart broke for Cutter.
“Like, my mom’s dying, and now I gotta leave my friends and team . . . and my sister because my mom’s dying . . .”
I went to him and pulled him into my arms. He sobbed against my chest, his fists gripping my T-shirt.
Cutter’s knees gave out, and I managed to get him to the bench before he crumpled to the ground.
There were no words to comfort him, because nothing was going to be okay in his world.
It was one thing to move—moving happened all the time; it was a fact of life—but losing your only parent wasn’t part of the deal.
Scout came over and rested his head on Cutter’s leg, knowing he needed a bit more attention. He hiccupped as his sobs eased, and angrily wiped at his wet cheeks.
“I’m sorry.”