9. Chapter 9
Chapter 9
Mazie
I t’s been almost two weeks since I’ve talked to Zach, which is highly unusual. Even if our schedules don’t align to see each other at least once, which is a rarity, we usually text a few times a day. Not hearing from him makes me uncomfortable in my own skin. It’s such a part of my day that I’m off without it.
And while I’ve certainly clicked on his name, my fingers hovering above the keys, I have no idea what to say to him. I’m assuming it’s the reason I have yet to hear from him.
That, or he quickly realized that kissing me was a mistake, and now he doesn’t know how to move forward. It’s the most likely scenario.
I bide my time by not sleeping, pacing the house, and driving my sisters crazy by being a presence at the shop. Normally, I work from home. But I keep replaying the night over and over in my mind. I swear his woodsy cologne still lingers in the air.
Being in my own house has never driven me so crazy. It’s always been my comfort location, yet now I can barely stand being here.
All because of a kiss.
Well, maybe not entirely just the kiss. There are these thoughts, dreams, daydreams that haunt me every moment of the day. What if it had gone further? What if I hadn’t stopped him? I’m going to eventually see him again. It’s inevitable. What happens then? My thoughts go from tame to anything but. It’s hard to rein them in. And it’s even harder to differentiate which I prefer.
The days have both dragged by and blended together into one jumbled mess. When you own a business that’s open seven days a week, it’s easy for everything to meld into one.
In fact, it’s not until my doorbell rings at eight o’clock that I even realize it’s Friday. But…it can’t be.
And yet, when the door swings open, there stands Zach, holding a six-pack, a bag of microwavable popcorn, and two packs of candy, including my Twizzlers.
“Um. Hi?” It comes out almost like a question. But since I haven’t heard from him in two weeks, I wasn’t exactly expecting him.
Instead of giving me much of an answer, he lifts one shoulder. “It’s movie night.”
I have to shake away the haze I find myself under and move to the side to let him in. I’m practically clinging to the door, needing to keep my balance. “Come on in.”
A strong burst of his scent infiltrates my senses as he brushes past me and makes his way into the living room. He walks through the house and settles on the couch as though he lives here, making himself right at home.
I’m a little too stunned by the fact that he showed up unannounced to even put words together. So instead, I close and lock the door, twisting and untwisting the lock three times…just to be sure.
“Hey.” I look up at the deep tenor of his voice. “You don’t have to do that when I’m here.” He points to his chest. “Cop. Remember? I’ll keep you safe.” The sincerity that sweeps through his eyes is enough to make my breath halt.
Heat creeps into my cheeks. “It just makes me feel better.” I never knew he noticed.
“I know. And that’s fine. But you don’t have to when I’m around. Just saying.” He’s not forceful about it. The way his words come across is as though he’s sharing a thought that maybe I’ve never had before.
“Thank you.” While that seems incredibly stupid to say, how does one respond to that?
I pull the cuffs of my sleeves into my hands and take a moment to look at my attire. I wasn’t expecting anybody, least of all Zach, and am donned in an oversized long-sleeved tee and a pair of pajama shorts, which I give a quick tug down so they’re not showing off my ass quite as much.
“You gonna come sit? I brought your Twizzlers. I know not to dare enter the house for movie night without them.” He looks over at me from his spot on the couch with raised eyebrows and waggles the bag of Twizzlers at me.
“Oh. Um. Of course. Sorry. I just wasn’t expecting you is all.” I practically skip across the room to the couch and tuck a stray curl behind my ear before flopping down in my usual seat at the end. Most of my hair is piled in a messy ponytail, but there’s a few dangling strands.
Zach silently passes me the Twizzlers, which I promptly tear open, and I take a big bite of one. I don’t know what to say, so I’d rather make my mouth busy chewing.
“I know we haven’t talked in a few days. Sorry about that. I just, uh, wanted to give you some space. I guess. But every Friday I’m free is movie night. And I’m off tonight, so I figured I’d chance coming over and let you tell me to get lost.”
“I’d never tell you to get lost, Zach.” While I’m not exactly sure where things stand, for him or myself, he’s still my best friend. I hope.
I curl my feet up under me and sit completely straight and stiff. I’ve never been so nervous around him, and I have no idea what to do with myself. Which is ridiculous because we know each other so well.
Am I going to let a little kiss derail our relationship?
No fucking way.
Pushing my shoulders back a bit more, I tip my chin up and lean back against the couch. “So, what are we watching? My turn, right?” I lean forward to reach for the remote, but he beats me to it, waving it in my face.
“Uh, uh. Not so fast. We didn’t get to watch my movie last time, so I get a redo.”
My jaw drops. “Are you serious? You’re going to make me watch another scary movie?” The audacity.
“It’s only fair. We didn’t get to watch the whole movie, not even half of it.”
I settle further into the cushion and pull a pillow into my lap, hugging it tightly to my chest. “I guess I’m ready then.” Before pulling the pillow up to my chin, I grab another Twizzler and take a large bite.
Twizzlers have been my favorite movie snack for as long as I can remember. When I was younger, I used to bite off both ends and pretend it was a straw, through which I would drink from my can of soda, usually Sprite.
As Zach works his way through the TV to find the right streaming service for the movie he wants, I chance a glance out of the corner of my eye.
Has he always been so attractive? I mean, I certainly have noticed. I’d have to be blind not to. But has he always been this devastatingly handsome? Maybe it’s something about the way his hair is styled tonight, where a few strands are hanging across his forehead. Or maybe it’s the shirt. It’s tight across his chest and at his arms, in literally all the right places.
But then again, he’s jacked. His shirts are always tight. Maybe it’s the color. It’s a shade of teal that brings out the green in his eyes.
It’s not until one corner of his mouth ticks up that I know he notices me staring. With a quick clear of my throat, I turn away, thoroughly mortified.
What is wrong with me? One kiss, and now I can’t stop staring at him like some lovesick puppy?
And the way he came here and walked in so nonchalantly, it’s clear that he just wants to move on and pretend that nothing happened. He needed the two weeks to clear his head, to let the air settle between us. But he doesn’t want anything to come from it.
Which is fine. I can put it out of my head. I think. It’s been driving me crazy for two weeks, but I can let it go.
And I’m doing a fine job of that as the movie starts, and I half hide behind my pillow. Until Zach’s hand lands firmly on my thigh. My head snaps sideways to look at him, but he’s focused on the screen.
He must notice me looking at him, though, because he gives my leg a squeeze.
With a quick huff, I reach to the table and pause the movie, thanking the heavens above that it’s not a scary scene. I sit cross-legged and turn to face him, hands falling into my lap.
“Okay. What are you doing?”
He turns to look at me with a raised eyebrow. “Trying to watch a movie. Isn’t that what we do on movie night? Well, maybe not you since you hide behind a pillow through basically the whole thing, but you get the idea.”
“You know that’s not what I mean, Zachary.” It’s rare that I use his full name, but I need him to know that I’m being serious right now.
Instead of the straight answer I’m hoping for, the corners of his lips turn up in a wicked grin. “Why don’t you tell me exactly what you mean then.”
Fuck. He’s going to make this difficult isn’t he. “You kissed me. And then I haven’t heard from you in two weeks and suddenly you show up on my door like nothing has happened and no time has passed.”
“I was giving you some space.”
“Space?”
“Yeah. To think about what happened. It’s clear that you didn’t want it to, based on what you said that night and seeing as I haven’t heard a word from you since then either. So, I needed a little time to get myself right, to be sure I could put it past me and not let it affect our friendship. I’m at that point and it was a free Friday. Which is movie night.” The way he says it all is so matter-of-fact, except he got one thing wrong.
“I never said that I didn’t want it to happen.”
His eyebrows shoot to his hairline, and his mouth opens and closes like a fish. “I—uh—what?” He blinks repeatedly and turns his body to face me fully, utter confusion sprawled across his features.
“I never said I didn’t want it to happen. It took me by surprise, sure. And at first, I didn’t know what to make of it. But I’ve been able to digest it now, to put some thought into it.”
“And?” Maybe it’s just me, but it sounds like the single word is tinged with hope.
“And…I don’t know. I honestly can’t say where I stand because you were nowhere to be seen or heard from for two weeks.” Exasperated, I throw my hands up before dropping them to my lap.
“What exactly did you expect me to say? Sorry I kissed you and you hated it? Let’s just move on? You didn’t say anything either.”
“ You kissed me . If anybody was expected to say something, it’s you!” Honestly, I can’t believe we’re even arguing about who should have contacted who.
He runs his hand down his face, pulling his mouth open in the process. We sit in silence, staring at each other for a few moments, neither of us sure what to say.
“Oh, fuck this.” Without warning, he reaches out and wraps his fingers around my wrist, tugging me into his lap and crashing his mouth to mine.
Looping an arm around me, he tips me backward as his tongue dives between my lips. His other hand cups my cheek and his thumb brushes under my eye.
My legs are over his lap, and I’m being held just above the couch cushions, having a tongue war with my best friend, when he suddenly stops and pulls away.
We’re both breathing heavily, and he rests his forehead against mine, trailing the hand that was against my face down my arm and linking our fingers together.
“Do you want this, Mazie? With me? I’ll be okay if you say no, we’ll still be friends, but don’t say yes if you don’t mean it.”
My answer is immediate. Like his touch has erased any questions or concerns from my mind. “Yes. I definitely do.” The only thing I’ve wanted since that first kiss is more . More kisses, more passion, more Zach.
Instead of closing the gap and joining our mouths again, he hesitates, pulling back slightly so his eyes can meet mine. He’s looking for any shred of doubt. But he won’t find one.
“Really? I can take it if the answer is no.”
I link my fingers behind his neck and smile. “Really.” It comes out through a giggle.
“Thank fuck.”
He lowers me so my back is flat against the cushions, and his lips lock on mine again. This time, they’re hurried, frantic, like he’s trying to make sure he gets everything in before I change my mind.
But that’s not going to happen.
His hands trail down my body, giving my breasts a squeeze as he passes over them, pinching my nipples before he continues his track down my body.
After that first kiss, when I thought about this happening, when I wondered what it might be like to be more with Zach, never in a million years did I expect my body to zing the way it is now. I thought maybe it’d be strange or awkward, since we’ve been friends for so long and know each other on such a personal and intimate level.
Not a single ounce of this is awkward or strange or anything other than exactly right.
With a slight adjustment, he’s hovering over me, his parted mouth gliding down my neck. He slides up the hem of my shirt and lays a path of kisses from the hem of my shorts up to the base of my bra.
Though my shorts are barely even a consideration, being flimsy and quite short, he peels them from my body anyway, taking my panties along with them.
In all the time we’ve known each other, and all the time we’ve been in compromising positions together, never once have I been so incredibly exposed to him. I’d be self-conscious if there wasn’t hunger burning in his eyes.
He moves down my body, lowering himself between my legs and wrapping his strong arms tightly around my thighs. Before I even have a second to panic about what he’s about to do, his tongue glides up my pussy and swirls around my clit. My gasp turns into a moan, back arching.
A hum pulls from his body, and he dives in deeper. My fingers fist into his hair, pulling him closer while digging my heels into the cushion to push away. It’s the most polarizing feeling of needing more of his mouth, his tongue, and wanting to scramble off the couch at how overwhelming this is.
Never in my twelve years of being sexually active have I had sex anywhere other than the bed. Maybe the occasional shower. And here I am, first round with Zach and letting him taste me right on the couch in the middle of the living room. The only saving grace is that it’s nighttime and we have the lights off for optimum movie watching. Otherwise, I’d be thoroughly anxious that a neighbor might see us.
“Fuck, Zach.” The whine pulls from my chest as my head tips back, all while tugging at his roots.
He groans against me and pushes his tongue inside me before swirling it around my clit again. I knew he’d be able to use that tongue for far more than just kissing.
His movements become hurried, and he uses more pressure on my clit. I start to buck against his face, chasing his mouth, needing more.
As though he knows it’s about to happen, he tightens his grip on my thighs and pulls them open a touch more as I crumble beneath him, shuddering and yanking his hair while I come with a whimper.
He supports me as I go limp, collapsing down to the couch, utterly exhausted. But my rest is short lived as he grabs my wrist and pulls me to sitting, yanking my shirt from over my head and quickly doing away with my bra.
I’m completely exposed to him. Every square inch of me is bare, and it takes me a second of humiliation to realize my hair is a complete mess.
But he’s looking at me like he’s never seen anything so beautiful. His lower lip is between his teeth, and he’s sitting back on his heels, hands on his thighs as his gaze tracks every square inch of me.
“God, Mazie. You’re so amazingly sexy.” My cheeks warm at the way he says that compliment, his soft but husky tone making me shiver with desire. Reaching behind his head, he pulls his shirt off and tosses it to the side, immediately putting his hands on my thighs and sliding them up.
Zach with no shirt is certainly an incredible sight. I’ve always admired from afar, tried to ignore the fire that ignited in my belly and told myself I was just appreciating a good body and could do that without actually having feelings.
Now I realize I was an idiot.
Leaning up on my elbows, I trail my fingertips over his well-defined stomach and chest. My eyes follow the track of my fingers and when they get back to the hem of his jeans, a large bulge catches my attention.
Without thinking, I act on instinct and wrap my hand around it, giving a firm squeeze. His head tips back with a loud groan.
“Take these off.” I hook my fingers through his belt loops and tug on the pants.
He hops off me and quickly kicks off his jeans, looking at me with raised eyebrows as his thumbs dip under the elastic of his boxer briefs.
Biting my lip, I give a quick nod and watch with wide eyes as he slowly shimmies them down. His cock bobs in front of him, rock hard. He gives himself a few rough strokes as he looks at me sprawled on the couch.
My thighs clench as he continues to stare. I don’t know what to make of his silence or his very intent gaze as it rakes up and down my body.
“What are you doing?” Finally, I have to speak up.
“I just…it’s all kind of hitting me at once. How much I’ve wanted this, how long I’ve wanted this. I need a minute to just make sure this is really happening.”
My heart skips at his confession.
Leaning up, I reach for his hand and pull him down toward me. “It is,” I murmur against his lips before looping a hand behind his neck and falling flat to the couch, taking him down with me.
He lowers himself so his hips press against mine and his erection is planted between us. Holding himself on his forearms, he hovers over me so his full weight isn’t resting on me. His fingers brush a stray hair from my face.
“Last chance. You sure you want this?”
I tip up and brush my lips against his. “I’m sure.”
The smile that spans his face is one I’ve never witnessed before, and I’ve seen Zach at some of his highest highs.
With a slight adjustment, he raises his hips and aligns himself. He gives me one more glance, to which I respond with a smile, before he eases himself into me.
My hands immediately fly to his shoulders, gripping hard as my head tips back with a low moan.
While it’s been a long time since I’ve had sex, this is the most amazing it’s ever felt right off the bat.
He keeps sliding in until he’s all the way inside me, and he releases a shaky breath as he presses a kiss against my neck.
Slowly, he pulls out and then glides back in. He does it over and over, slow and steady, getting a feel for me and letting me get a feel for him. Then he starts to pick up speed.
And within a few moments, I feel when he stops holding back. It’s like something in him snaps and he can’t keep the beast inside any longer.
He takes my left leg and hooks it around his arm, opening me even further as he adjusts and moves deeper. Keeping his momentum going, he takes a quick glance behind him, before sliding back and pulling me with him.
Not only does it provide a new angle, but he starts thrusting harder and faster. He leans forward and pulls my nipple between his teeth.
“Holy shit! Zach.”
“You have no idea how long I’ve waited to hear you say my name like that.”
Yet some part of me does, because it’s the same as the small part of me that’s been wanting this to happen for years. The part of me that I buried deep down when everything turned upside down and Zach was the closest friend I had.
In the two weeks Zach was incommunicado, I had time to really think about our relationship. And I realized that there have always been instances when something would spark within me, some light would ignite before I quickly extinguished it. I couldn’t risk losing Zach on what was surely a schoolgirl crush. I mean, the man is hot as hell. Who wouldn’t have a crush on him?
Every time it made my heart ache when he had a girlfriend, and every relationship I tried that didn’t feel right, I always chalked up to Zach just being my closest confidante. That I was scared I’d lose him as my best friend, and we wouldn’t make time for each other anymore.
Only now, with him thrusting deep inside me and hovering over me, do I realize it has always been much more.
He slows and lowers so our chests are pressed together as he brushes his thumb down my face. “What’s wrong? You’re in your head. Should we stop? Was this a mistake?”
Though his eyes narrow and concern laces his features, I see hurt dancing through his irises.
Reaching up, I lock my hands behind his head, my thumbs resting in front of his ears. “Absolutely not. I’m just realizing how right this feels.”
The smile that brightens his whole face is enough to make my heart burst.