8. Chapter 8
Chapter 8
Zach
I bounce on the balls of my feet as I knock on Eli’s door. The second he answers, his eyes widen for a moment before he steps aside and holds his arm out, welcoming me into his apartment.
He’s got a baseball game on and a beer on the table. Thankfully, it doesn’t look like I interrupted much.
“What’s up? Wasn’t expecting you tonight.” He flops back into his recliner and grabs his beer from the table, taking a swig.
“I kissed Mazie.”
And he promptly spews beer all over his living room table and practically chokes on the sip. “You did what ?”
I run a hand through my hair and tug at the roots as the other plants on my hip. I haven’t even taken my jacket off, let alone sit down. “It just sort of…happened. It was movie night, and we were talking about how if my scary choices triggered anything for her, we didn’t have to watch them, and she was just so sincere, and I don’t know what I was thinking.”
“I do.”
My eyes flick over to his, and I see amusement bouncing through his irises. “You’re in love with my sister. You have been for years.”
I take a step back at his declaration. “That’s crazy. We’re best friends.”
He lifts one shoulder as he leans forward, his hands between his knees as he pulls at the label of the beer bottle. “Doesn’t change the fact that you’re in love with her.”
“Does that…does that piss you off?” Aren’t brothers supposed to hate their friends and sisters being together?
His eyes raise to meet mine. “At one point, it might have. It did…actually. I could tell you had feelings for her, and though you didn’t act on them, I knew, and it irritated the crap out of me. She’s my sister. I hate to think of anybody being with my sisters. But two of them are married now, one has a kid, and we’re all adults. It’s the reality of life. I’ve come to accept it.” He takes another sip of his beer. “Plus, better you than some schmuck off the street.”
I don’t know if that should make me feel better or worse.
“So, what exactly happened?”
“Are you sure you want to hear this?”
“No, but I’m also your friend,” he pauses and tips his bottle in my direction, “and that’s what you need right now, so I can try to turn off big brother mode for the moment.”
I’m going to choose to trust him in this instance. Worst case, I end up with a black eye. “I was over at Mazie’s for movie night. It was my choice to pick, so naturally I went with a scary movie.”
“Naturally.”
“And as you probably know, your sister hates scary movies, but she makes me watch those damn romcoms, and she’s always said she’s okay with it. So, when she was hiding, I wanted to check in and make sure it wasn’t triggering any bad memories or anything related to…you know…your parents.” I never quite know how to bring it up to any of them.
He stiffens but doesn’t say anything.
“She assured me that it wasn’t, and that she knew she could tell me, and it was just the way she laid her hand on my arm, the sureness and trust in her eyes. I just…I leaned forward, and she didn’t move away, and then I was kissing her. And things got a little heated before she pushed me away and asked what we were doing.”
“And what were you doing?”
I raise an eyebrow as I fall to the couch. “Is this where we get into the ‘what are your intentions with my sister’ conversation?”
“Not really. You’re a good guy and my friend, and I trust you not to hurt Mazie. But be careful. She can be…a lot to handle. Which I’m sure you already know.”
Irritation flutters through my veins. “I don’t know why you all say that. She’s not a lot to handle. Sure, she has some personality quirks and things that can be frustrating, but it’s understandable with what you’ve all been through.”
“That right there makes you better than any guy she’s ever tried to be with before.”
My jaw ticks. Though we’ve both dated over the years, I’ve never really felt a strong connection with any of the women I’ve pursued. And while I’ve never really faced it head on, I like to think that’s the reason nothing has ever worked out for Mazie.
The kiss shifted things. There’s now varying shades and hues to our relationship, and it’s making my head spin as I work back through memories.
I’ve never liked the guys she’s dated, never felt like they were good enough for her. I chalked it up to being good friends and always left it at that.
Now I know there’s always been more to it.
How stupid am I?
I lean back into the couch and stare up at the ceiling. “What am I doing?”
“I don’t know. What do you want to do?”
“I wish I knew.”
“Think about it for a minute. I have nowhere to be.” His chair creaks as he leans back.
There really isn’t much to think about. The answer feels like it’s been staring me in the face for weeks now, if not longer. The problem is that I don’t know how to go about getting what I want.
“I want to be with Mazie. Fuck, how am I just now realizing this?”
“You’re not. It’s just the first time you’ve had the thought sober.”
I shoot straight up, and my hands fall to my knees as my eyes narrow. “What do you mean by that?”
His brows shoot up on his forehead, and he freezes with the bottle halfway to his mouth. “Shit.”
“That doesn’t make anything better. What the fuck are you talking about?”
“How much do you remember from Alina’s wedding?”
Thinking for a moment, I wrack my brain to pull up something, anything. “Not really a lot. I got overly intoxicated that night. After the ceremony and dinner, things get a little lost. Then, the next thing I remember is waking up at Mazie’s. Which, thanks, by the way. I’m sure you had a hand in getting me back there.” I’m not exactly sure where he’s going with this and what Alina’s wedding has to do with anything. While I can usually hold my liquor far better, that night did get the best of me. Did I do something stupid?
“Well, part of what caught our attention was that you were adamant about how much you love Mazie and you just had to tell her. You don’t remember that? I thought for sure you were just keeping quiet about it.”
Fantastic. Just what I was hoping to hear. Ugh. I’d be more mortified if it wasn’t Eli, and he hadn’t seen me in far more embarrassing situations. “Nope. Don’t remember a damn thing. Did she hear me?”
“No. Just me and Cam. We somehow intervened as you were on your way to tell her. I figured a drunken confession wasn’t exactly what you were aiming for.”
I slouch in my seat with a groan.
“For what it’s worth, we’ve all known for years. The only ones who don’t seem to realize the two of you are meant to be together, are the two of you.”
“Even better.” A heavy sigh pulls from my chest as I stare at a spider on the ceiling. Mazie would be terrified, and I’d have to kill it. She’s not a fan of catching and releasing, thinking they’ll come back for vengeance.
A thought occurs to me, and I lean forward, resting my elbows on my knees, eyes narrowed. “So, you all know? Like Liv and Alina and their husbands?”
Silently, he takes a sip of his beer as he nods.
My brows furrow. “Is it some sort of game to you all? Are we the butt of your family joke? Does Mazie not even realize that her family is making fun of her?”
Eli holds his hands up in peace. “Whoa, whoa, whoa. We don’t make fun of you guys at all. We’re just shocked you haven’t gotten to this point yet. And there may be a pool for when you finally get together, but that’s not important.”
I’m on my feet, eyebrows high in a heartbeat. “A pool? Are you fucking serious?” I run a shaky hand through my hair and look around the room. It’s suddenly stifling in here. “I gotta go. I can’t stay here.”
Without waiting for an answer, I head for the door, but hear Eli’s chair snap back to position and know he’s hot on my tail.
“Wait. Zach, just wait a minute damn it.”
I freeze and turn toward him.
The way he stops walking and rolls his eyes, my face must be sending a clear message of distrust right now.
“What do you want me to say, Zach?”
“You’re supposed to be my best friend. I want to know why you never brought this up before.”
“And what exactly do you propose I say to you? ‘Hey, asshole, I’m pretty sure you’re in love with my sister but don’t seem to notice it?’”
He’s right, of course. There’s really no way to bring up something like that.
“I don’t know. But I don’t like hearing that we’re some sort of joke to you all.”
“Not a joke. Never a joke. We love you both, and you’re basically already a brother to us, minus the legality of it. We just don’t understand how you’ve never realized your feelings before. Either one of you. Well…we understand Mazie. She’s a stubborn one. And I’m kidding about the pool. Sort of.” He shrugs a shoulder like it’s no big deal instead of something life altering.
Though I need to leave, I don’t know what the next step should be. “What do I do now?”
“Whatever you want. You know Mazie, probably better than anybody. Right now, she’s likely just as confused as you are.”
“That’s not helpful.”
He rubs a hand along the back of his neck. “Look. I’m obviously not well versed in the romance department, especially since all my younger siblings seem to be getting together before me and I haven’t had a girlfriend in years. But just talk to her. Be honest. Or ignore it completely. Whichever you feel is best.”
I look down as I shuffle my feet. What’s best. I have no idea what that is in this situation. I don’t even know how Mazie feels about it all.
For all I know, she’s freaking out and planning to never invite me over again.
And while part of me is dying to find out, I’m not sure I could handle the rejection.
With no more than a nod, I walk out Eli’s front door.
Once in the car, I bang my head against the steering wheel a few times. I’m not sure where I’m going, or what I’m doing, but right now, the dark night is my only companion.