23. Chapter 23
Chapter 23
Mazie
I t’s been a few weeks since Zach and Eli fixed my slider, and things have fallen back into a nice routine. Every morning, whether he’s working or not, Zach drives me over to Three Sticks and drops me off for at least a few hours.
I’m mostly still hanging in the back, but I’m starting to be on the floor with Liv while there’s a lull. Even though it’s not busy, there’s still a steady stream of customers. Just not groups of them.
By the time Zach and I are both home at night, I’m exhausted and sore from being tense all day. Tonight is no different, and I’m sitting between Zach’s legs while he digs his thumbs into my shoulders.
“So, my mom’s coming into town.” The way he says it is so hesitant, and I don’t understand why.
“How has she been lately?” She moved out to Colorado with his Aunt Helen about ten years ago.
“She’s good. But she’ll be here for about a week. I was thinking I could introduce you.”
I shift away from him and turn around to face him. “Um, are you forgetting that we’ve known each other most of our lives? I’ve met your mother, Zach.”
“Yes, but now I want you to meet her as my woman.”
“Your woman? Really, Mr. Caveman?” One eyebrow raises at his choice of words.
He chuckles lightly and kisses the tip of my nose. “Girlfriend just sounds so…I don’t know. Childish? We’re not kids anymore. We’re full-fledged adults and girlfriend just seems immature.”
“It is what I am, though. Unless you want to come up with another word.” There’s a slight taunt to my tone. I don’t expect more at this point, but it also hasn’t come up at all in conversation, which concerns me slightly. Is this just fun for him until it’s boring?
“I guess maybe I just look at it more big picture. You’re mine, as long as you want to be, that is, and the actual title you hold will change over time. I think it’s just easier to call you my woman.”
Though I roll my eyes, the thought sends a shot of warmth through my body. He wants me to be his, for as long as I want to be.
In the past, I’ve always scared guys away with my fears, my reclusiveness, my anxiety. Zach not only sees it all but does what he can to support me. He never scoffs, never tries to stop me, and certainly doesn’t put me down.
I turn back around and lean against his chest. “So, what’s the living arrangement going to look like? She’s more than welcome to stay here, but I’m not sure if she’d be comfortable with that.”
“I’ll have a chat with her before she comes. You seem awfully okay with this.”
“Why wouldn’t I be?”
“Well…it’s just…it’s, uh, been about…um.” He’s not usually one to get flustered. For a second, I have to really think about the last exchange I had with his mom to make sure it wasn’t strained.
But then it hits me like a ton of bricks and knocks the wind from my lungs.
I haven’t seen her since my parents were murdered. And he’s not sure how it’s going to affect me that his mother is around, but mine isn’t.
With a slight shake of my head, I turn in his hold and straddle his lap. My palm runs down his cheek, and I tilt his face up to meet mine.
“Zach. Thank you for considering my feelings. But I know other people have parents. Even though she’s not around, I know she exists, and I’m happy you have her, even if she lives far away. I lost my parents. And it was horrible and tragic, and I miss them every single day. But I can’t let my missing them jade how I feel about you having your mom.”
“It’s just been about the same timeframe is all.”
“Has she not been here since?” It seems unlikely, but entirely possible. I know he’s flown out to see her a few times.
“She has, but we tended to keep it quiet. I guess I never really knew how to bring it up.”
“Have you been talking to her in secret?”
Shame floods his eyes and his shoulders sag. “Not necessarily in secret, but I tried to make sure we only talked when you weren’t around. I wasn’t trying to hide it or anything; I was trying not to bring you any hurt or pain.”
While I want to be mad, that I feel like I should be angry about him hiding it from me, I understand his concern and that he was trying to protect my heart.
“When is she coming?”
“About three weeks. She wants to go to the midsummer festival.” He waves his hand through the air like it’s just some nonsense to him.
“That festival in particular?” For a town that throws a lot of random and relatively unnecessary events, the midsummer one seems like the least important or exciting.
“Yeah. Something about a memory from when we were kids and the fireworks. I don’t know. Why anybody wants to go to any of those insipid things is beyond me.”
“You’re just salty because you have to work them.” Though the force is relatively small, it’s all hands on-deck for the events.
“Entirely possible.”
“Will she…will she be expecting someone to go with her? I mean, if you’re working, that basically just leaves me. Right?” My bottom lip plants firmly between my teeth.
He swoops a curl behind my shoulder and trails his fingers up the side of my neck. “Nope. I told her I have to work and that you guys tend to keep the café open late for customers to come grab coffee or a snack.”
While it’s not a lie, and we do stay open, I won’t be there. Although, with Dr. Raylinsky’s new rules, I might have to be. Despite the fact that I might have to be at Three Sticks, I appreciate his forethought to tell his mom I wouldn’t be able to be with her. The crowds are something I just can’t handle. And he knows that.
It makes my heart flutter as I settle back and snuggle into his chest. My temple rests against his collarbone, and he presses his lips to the top of my head.
Everything about this feels right in a way I never could have imagined. And who’d have thought that he was there, in front of me, the whole time.
The next thing I know, I’m being lifted into the air. Strong arms are under my knees and behind my shoulders.
“What’s going on?” The words all slur together.
“You fell asleep. So I’m carrying you to bed.”
“The doors.” I wave my hand toward the middle of the house, but it drops into my lap as my eyes shut. The days at the café are still wearing me out.
“I’ll double check them. Or I’ll carry you to each of them. Your choice.”
I loop an arm around his neck and snuggle into his chest. “You can do it.”
The softness of the bed below me is a welcome feeling, as is the coolness of the sheets. I move to curl onto my side, but Zach presses my shoulders back to the mattress, his fingers working the button on my jeans.
Once they’re off, he pulls me up to sit, and lifts my shirt from over my head, quickly doing away with my bra as well. I’m ready to fall back to the bed and sleep naked, but soft cotton falls over my head and to my shoulders and the scent of Zach’s aftershave wafts through my nose.
Gently, he lays me back and rolls me to my side, pulling the covers up to my chin. His palm glides over my hair and down my back as he places a long kiss against my temple.
“I’ll be right back. I’m going to go check the doors.”
“Okay.” I put my hand on his shoulder, and it falls to the side of the bed as he moves away.
Though I have to force myself, I stay awake until he curls around me, and his nose runs along my neck before he kisses behind my ear.
“Goodnight, M. I love you.”
“Iloveyoutoo.” It all comes out as one jumbled word.
But despite my exhaustion, my eyes fly open, and I sit up straight.
Zach sits up next to me. “What’s wrong?”
“I was just…when was the last time we had sex?” My face burns as guilt weighs heavily in my chest. It’s my fault. I’ve been falling asleep so early.
“It’s been…a while.”
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I didn’t realize, and I’ve just been so tired and—”
He cuts me off with a finger to my lips. “Why are you apologizing?”
“Well, I feel bad. We’re in a relationship and you have needs and I’m not meeting them.”
With a heavy sigh, he takes my hands in his. “Yes, we’re in a relationship. And sure, I have needs. But so do you, even if they’re not sexual. I’m a grown-ass man, and if you’re too tired, or not into it, or just don’t want to, I can wait.”
My forehead creases as my brows knit together. “Do you not want to?”
“Oh, that’s definitely not the reason. I love fucking you. I’d do it ten times a day, every single day, if I could. But we’re adults, Mazie. We have lives and careers and other expectations that are placed on us. Sometimes that means you’re tired and fall asleep. I’d never expect you to place my sexual needs ahead of your physical or mental ones. And I’d never do that either.” He squeezes my hands, but I don’t know what to say, because I still feel like it’s something I’m not doing right.
“Listen, I know it can be hard with my schedule at times. While I’ve been lucky to work mostly day shifts the past few months, the nights I’m away are understandably hard on you. And I miss being next to you those nights and while I sleep during the day. But a relationship and intimacy, it’s so much more than just sex. And that’s what I’m here for. All of it. So if we go through a dry spell, well, it happens. Just know that I love you, and I want to be with you. No matter what.”
“You won’t get frustrated with me and find it elsewhere? Or end things because we’re not being physical?”
He tucks a hair behind my ear and trails his fingers to my chin, pulling me closer to brush his lips against mine. “No.”
“How do you know?”
“Because I want this, Mazie. Every aspect of every day. Good and bad. Besides, our sexual chemistry is off the charts, so I have no worries we’ll be back at it in no time.”
Just the thought sends a shiver down my spine. But instead of giving in to my baser impulses, a yawn has me turning away and covering my mouth.
Being the good sport he is, Zach laughs and leans me back, wrapping his arm around my middle and pulling my back flush against his chest.
“Just one day at a time, M. We got this.” He twirls a curl with his fingers in the way that he knows soothes me.
I take his words to heart. Tomorrow is a new day, after all.