Chapter 26
JINX
Either Craig thinks I’m pretty, or he’s really not happy about me seeing Rachel.
The steam coming out of his ears during our staff meeting hints at the latter, but the last time someone stared at me as intently as he has this morning, she ended up asking for my number.
“All right.” Jesse slaps his denim-clad thighs and gets to his feet. “Have a good week, boys. Be safe and get your vacation requests in ASAP if you plan on taking any extra time off around Labor Day.”
“You already got my request, right, Hayden?” Craig asks as the other guys shuffle out.
“Yep,” she confirms as she pulls up the calendar on her laptop. “The whole week, right?”
He nods, then glances my way like he wants to come over and say something. Maybe even kick my ass. But Jesse steps in front of him and dives into a conversation about their new excavating job and all the shit they have to get done this week.
“So,” Hayden says in a hushed voice, sidling up beside me, “you ready to do this?”
My chest may be a little tight, but I give her an easy nod and hold up the folders I prepared last night. “Ready as I’m ever gonna be.”
“I’m excited for you.” She grins, her eyes dancing. “And just so you know, I haven’t told Jesse anything. This is all yours.”
I give a short laugh. “Thanks, Hay. I appreciate that.”
She gives my arm a reassuring squeeze just as Jesse clears his throat.
“You still need to talk to me, Jinx?”
Hayden and I share one last private glance before I set my shoulders and turn my attention to my brother.
“Yep. You ready now or…?”
He holds up his coffee mug. “Just let me grab a refill.”
Two minutes later, we’re seated in the office he shares with Hayden. Thunder rolls in the distance, and the breeze coming in through the open window smells like rain. The storm isn’t supposed to start until this afternoon, so its early arrival feels ominous. I’m about to start shit in here, and Mother Nature is about to do so outside.
“So, what are we doing here?” With a deep exhale, Jesse leans back in his chair. “Hayden won’t tell me a damn thing, and given the last conversation you and I had, I’m a little nervous.”
Jesse nervous? He’s usually the calm and collected one, but today, I’m wearing that hat. Maybe it’s because I did my fair share of stewing and stressing yesterday. Though most of mine was about Rachel and her date.
Nope, dude. Don’t go there right now.
I tilt my head to one side, then the other, shoving the thought away, and pull in a breath. “First things first,” I start. “I’d appreciate if you’d hear me out before you get pissed off.”
He lifts a brow. “I’m gonna be pissed? Thanks for the warning.”
Fucking guy. “Second thing. This is gonna seem like it’s coming out of left field, but I’ve been thinking about it for a while.”
He folds his hands over his stomach and listens.
“In fact, I probably should have brought this up a long time ago. The truth is, I was stubborn. And a little scared.”
He frowns, his brow pulled low. “Scared?”
I nod. Might as well get this part out of the way. “Yeah, man. I look up to you, and I sure as hell don’t want to let you down.”
He sits forward quickly and rests his elbows on the desk. “What? Why would you let me down?”
I lift a hand. “Because that’s what I’ve always done?”
“What are you talking about?” His frown has deepened into a full-on scowl now.
“It’s what I’ve done since I was a kid. Some of it comes with the territory. Me being a younger brother, especially behind guys like you and Aiden. Regardless, you’ve made it plenty clear over the years that you think I’m a fuck-up.”
He laughs defensively and roughs a hand down his face. “Okay. It’s a good thing you warned me about getting pissed. Let’s move on before I do just that.”
We need to dive deeper into that topic sooner or later, but for now, he’s right.
I take another deep breath and tamp down on the nerves skittering through me. “You know I’ve been working a lot of hours. In the beginning, I did it because we were getting our feet wet here, and the profit margin on the landscaping side of things was slim. We were trying to bump up the residential piece since Dad hadn’t done much with it. So I did what I had to do to build our client list and save money.”
With a roll of my shoulders, I assess my brother. The frown is gone now, but his expression is still serious.
“When things started to pick up and I couldn’t keep up on my own, we brought on Connor. And for a couple years after that, he and I handled things just fine. Again, I was putting in more time than I clocked because this is our family business. It’s never been about a paycheck to me.
“These past two years have been fucking amazing.” I pull my ball cap off and rake my fingers through my hair, then settle the hat on my head again. “I never imagined we’d find as much work as we have. I don’t want to toot my own horn, but I think a lot of the business we have is because I’ve gone the extra mile where I didn’t have to. Word of mouth travels fast, and I’ve busted my ass to live up to the standard I’ve established for us.”
He narrows his eyes, still listening, and laces his fingers on top of his desk.
“Hayden put together a spreadsheet with the official numbers, but I’ve been working on something for a couple of months now, too.” I slide the folder I put together for him across the desk. “I’ve kept records for the past several years. Everything I turned into you, I kept a copy for myself as well. It’s not that I didn’t think you were doing the right thing with the information, but because I wanted to keep track of things, too.”
Silently, he opens the folder and flips through the pages.
“At first, I did it to get a feel for things without the pressure of actually having to do them.”
He straightens the papers and glances up.
“And then I realized that I actually enjoy that side of the things.”
“The numbers?”
“The management. The organization. And yes, I suppose the analysis.” I swallow past the lump in my throat, because this is the part where he might really get angry. “At some point, I started to resent you for not offering me another partner opportunity,” I admit.
He opens his mouth, but I hold up a hand.
“I know that’s not fair. I told you I wasn’t interested, and it’s only been six years. I really have worked as hard as I have because I love it. But part of me hoped you’d see it, too.”
He closes the folder and tips his head, and even though I don’t want his sympathy or to be seen as weak, I look him in the eye, unwavering.
“I’ve always wanted your respect. And I hoped you’d eventually look at me and not see me as the kid who used to screw up all the time, but as a man. As an equal.”
“Jinx…” He blows out a breath and looks up at the ceiling, his throat working as he swallows. “I do respect you, man.”
“To a certain extent, maybe. You’ve given me a lot of space to do my own thing with the landscaping part of EE. But I’ve outgrown the leash. And frankly, I don’t want to do things the way we’ve been doing them anymore.”
Expression unreadable, he regards me for a beat. “You want to be partner now.”
I dip my chin and clasp my hands to keep them steady. “Yeah. I do. It doesn’t have to be fifty-fifty. I know your work is the primary focus of the business. But mine isn’t anything to sneeze at anymore, and if we expand like I want to, it’s only going to keep growing.”
He drums his fingers on the desk and hums, thoughtful. “What are you thinking?”
“I don’t know. I couldn’t even begin to compare and do the math because I haven’t seen the numbers for your side of things, but honestly, it doesn’t matter. I just want a bigger stake in this. It’s our fucking legacy, man, and it’s just as important to me as it is to you.”
“Can you give me some time to look at things? If you’ve already talked to Hayden, then I’m sure she’s got something started.”
I nod. “Take some time. Talk it over with her. I just want to open the door and see what’s feasible.”
He rocks back in the chair and scrubs his hands over his face. “To tell you the truth, I was thinking about broaching the subject again before she came on board, because this shit is too much for one person to handle.”
“I wish you would have come to me. Not just because of my personal interest in things, but because, at the end of the day, I’m your brother.”
He nods slowly, his eyes fixed on me intently. “I know, man. And someday, we should have a heart-to-heart about this fuck-up thing you mentioned.”
I chuckle, even as my stomach twists. “Yeah, probably. But I’m gonna need a few beers for that conversation.”
He grins. “I have a feeling I will, too. Do we need to invite Aiden?”
“Probably. Might as well drag Amelia into it, too.”
He groans and tosses his head back, his chair squeaking beneath him. “Come on, man. She really is a pain in my ass.”
“Yep, but we’re stuck with her.”
“She’s a good babysitter, at least.” Jesse sighs.
“And she can cook.”
“Yeah, but she has horrible taste in men.”
I laugh. “You’re right about that.”
Scowling, he shakes his head. “The next one has to be better than that mustache guy.”
“We can only hope.”
Rachel: Dinner with Reese is Friday night.
Her text cameover an hour ago, and I’ve spent every minute since wondering if I fucked up by telling her to go.
In my head, I know I didn’t. But in my heart? Fucking hell. I don’t want another man to even look at her, let alone get close enough to breathe the same air.
But it’s the right thing to do. And all I can do in the meantime is keep showing her who I am. And maybe go to church and pray for once.
“Hey, Jinx.” Connor waves to get my attention. We’ve been installing paving stones for the Carlisles’ backyard project all day, and it’s well past time for lunch.
“Break time?”
“Yeah. I’m meeting my brother in town for a burger. Might be a little longer than usual.”
“No problem. Take your time.” I plant my hands on my hips and survey what we’ve done so far. “I’m gonna take a break myself, but I’ll be here.”
“Thanks, man.” Jug of water in hand, he heads for his truck.
I wipe the sweat from my forehead and get back to work while I contemplate how to respond to Rachel and consider what comes next.
Should I stay away this week? It’d be hard to see her anyway, with the kids at home. That’s another thing that’s been bugging me. I don’t like feeling like we’re sneaking, especially when it comes to Mason. He and I have built up a rapport, and I’d hate to screw that up. But telling them now seems pointless if she’s going to date other people.
Other people.
Fucking hell, I should have thought this through before I suggested it. How am I going to keep my shit together while she does this? And what if it blows up in my face?
When I’ve finished the section of pavers, I stand and stretch. Then I head to my truck, unstrapping my knee pads as I go, and climb behind the wheel. I leave the door open to keep the air moving, even if it’s thick. The rain has held off, but the gray clouds overhead promise a storm is brewing.
After several gulps of water, I snag a granola bar from my lunchbox and pull out my phone.
Me: You gonna wear that blue dress?
Her reply is almost instant.
Rachel: No way. That’s a special dress.
Me: This isn’t a special date? It’s your first one in how many years?
Rachel: Let’s not count. But yes. It’s my first date. Officially anyway. You did take me to the sunflower farm, and you fed me a couple of times, too.
Hell yes, I did. And thank god she vetoed the dress, because I’d go out of my damn mind knowing how good she looks in it.
Me: Don’t worry, babe. I’ll take you on a real date one of these days, too.
Rachel: I’m already looking forward to it.
Damn. That admission is like a shot to the heart. Let’s hope this Reese guy doesn’t put a damper on that happening.
Rachel: I’m at my dad’s right now. He and Mason are trying to install new boards on the porch. If you hear sirens, it’s probably the ambulance because Dad’s either cut off a limb or he’s given me a heart attack.
I laugh.
Me: Don’t die on me before our date, Sunny. And tell your dad I’m happy to help if he needs it. Just holler.
Rachel: I’ll let him know. Talk to you later?
Me: *heart eyes emoji*