Chapter 35 Lindsey #2
“Honestly, I’m glad he turned me down. I understand now that I didn’t want to get back with him because I actually loved him.
I was just so desperate to feel something after being completely numb since we lost dad.
But losing him and then feeling like there was something wrong with me, it made me scared to connect with anyone else,” I say. “Until I met Oliver.”
“You need to talk to him.”
“It’s too late.”
She shakes her head. “I don’t believe that. I saw the way he looked at you. Lindsey, he cares about you.”
I drop my gaze, running my finger along the rim of my mug. “I sent him a text. On Christmas Eve. He didn’t reply, and I doubt he’s going to. What I did wasn’t fair. I didn’t treat him right.”
“Tell him how you feel. He’ll listen. I know he will.”
“What if he doesn’t?” I ask.
“Then at least you’ll know you did everything you could.”
I sigh, picking at a loose thread on my sweatshirt. “I wish there was a way I could show him how sorry I am. How much I care about him.”
She taps a finger to her chin, a mischievous smile spreading across her lips.
“What?” I ask. “What’s that look for?”
“I have an idea. I think I know of a way you can show Oliver what he means to you.”
My eyebrows shoot up. “You do?”
She nods and takes a sip of her coffee, an evil genius masterminding her plan.
“I do,” she says. “But we’re going to need reinforcements.”
“I can’t feel my nose.” Kayla’s words are swallowed by her puffer coat where she’s buried her face in the crook of her arm. She’s waiting for Ben to put up another hook to hold the mistletoe in her waiting hands.
“I still think staging a fall would have been a better idea,” Aunt Rose says with a huff, placing another luminary on the ground. “And far better for my back.”
Ben shoots her an accusatory glance as he climbs down the stepladder. “Except for the fact that faking an emergency is wrong on so many levels and highly illegal.”
Mom rolls her eyes. “Oh hush, Rose. You’re moving faster than the rest of us combined.”
“Seriously. You’re almost finished.” Lucy tilts her body from side to side, stretching her arms over her head. “Meanwhile, I need to take some Aleve.”
“Maybe if you actually took one of my yoga classes once in a while, you wouldn’t.” Willow smirks from the top step.
We’re putting the finishing touches on the surprise for Oliver. Willow, Ben, and Kayla are in charge of hanging twinkle lights and mistletoe from every available surface outside while Lucy, Aunt Rose, Mom, and I are artfully spelling out “NYE?” with luminaries across Oliver’s yard.
Ellie rolls down the window of their van and pokes her head out. “Just giving a time update. It’s ten till seven.”
“And the rain?” I ask.
“Radar is still clear,” she says, Noah and Emily’s giggles floating outside. “Shouldn’t be coming in for the next couple of hours.”
“Oh my God, you guys. What if he says no?” I ask, scooping some sand into one of the white paper bags and placing the votive inside before lighting it. “What if he doesn’t want to talk to me?”
“He will, Linds,” Lucy insists. “Besides, didn’t your friend who knows Oliver say he’s been moping around ever since you two split?”
“Moping and being willing to hear me out are not the same thing,” I say.
After my mother explained her plan that seemed only mildly crazy at the time, I called Tessa and told her what I wanted to do.
She confided in me that Joe told her how sad Oliver was and that he missed me.
It didn’t take a lot of convincing to get Joe and the rest of the guys on the crew involved, and now, here I am, waiting to ask Oliver if he has plans for New Year’s Eve by candlelight.
More than that, I’m asking if he’s still willing to take a chance with me.
The closer we’ve gotten to the time that Joe will be receiving a nonexistent call about a cat being stuck in a tree, the more nervous I’ve become. A sweeping grand gesture seemed like a good idea a few hours ago, but now I’m freaking out.
A cold drop of water hits me on the cheek, sending another wave of panic coursing through me, binding my stomach in knots.
“Was that a raindrop?” I ask. “Is this a sign?”
“Hey,” Mom says, catching my attention. “You’re doing the right thing, okay?”
“Yes. Right.” I nod and shake out my shoulders.
We hurry to finish setting up, only seconds before we hear the sound of sirens in the distance. Joe said it isn’t something they normally do when responding to a cat call, but for this, he’ll make an exception to give me a heads-up that they’re en route.
“That’s our cue,” Ben says. “I’m going to stash the ladder in the backyard.”
Kayla squeals. “It’s time!”
“I’m proud of you, kid.” My mother reaches out and squeezes my arm. “And I know someone else who would be too.”
Lucy throws her arms around me, rocking us back and forth. “We’ll be up on the porch if you need us.”
“Thank you,” I say.
I blow out a breath and take one last look at our glimmering message before taking my spot at the front of the yard.
Mom’s right. Even if Oliver rejects me in front of my family and half the fire department, it’s still the right choice. I’d rather choose the possibility of love than a guarantee of nothing.
The moan of the sirens draws closer and the flashing lights on the truck are casting a red glow over the cloudy sky.
The wail grows louder as the engine comes into view. There’s no backing out now. I can do this. I can—
A cold shiver collides with my skin, only this time, it’s not from nerves.
It’s a breeze.
Over my shoulder, my family is all smiles, and my mother flashes me a thumbs-up.
The truck rolls to a stop and cuts the siren, and seconds later, Oliver stands in front of me in his uniform. To my surprise, he’s smiling.
“The last time I checked, I don’t have a cat,” he says with a low chuckle. “And though Ace is very agile, he can’t climb trees.”
I shake my head. “Nope.”
His eyes shimmer as he takes in the soft glow of the sea of candles and twinkle lights.
“You did all this?” he asks. “For me?”
“I had a little help,” I say, gesturing back toward my waiting family.
“Oliver, I’m sorry I hurt you. What I did…
It wasn’t fair to you. I haven’t been honest with you about my feelings or the fact that the real reason I slept through your birthday is because I have a chronic illness and it was flaring up.
I should have told you the truth because you’ve done nothing but show me kindness and compassion.
I’ve just been so in my head and scared, and the truth is, I think I was afraid because I already knew you were someone I didn’t want to lose. So I panicked and ran.”
“Lindsey—”
“Do you remember our first date?” I ask.
“You were telling me what made you decide you wanted to be a firefighter. And you told me then that you’d rather be running toward something than running away, even if you’re scared.
I want to be brave like you. I want to run toward you, even though I’m completely terrified.
And I want to know…what I’m asking is, will you still be there for me to run to? ”
His Adam’s apple bobs and his face falls, taking my heart shattering to the ground with it.
It’s too late.
I drop my gaze and blink back the tears pooling in my eyes.
I nod. “I understand. I’m just—I’m really sorry.”
“I can’t be here for you to run to, Lindsey.” He places his finger under my chin and lifts my gaze to his. “Because I’m going to be running beside you.”
“Really? You forgive me?” I ask, tears escaping down my cheeks.
He wipes away the moisture with his thumb. “Just promise me something. It’s okay to be scared. But I need you to talk to me, okay? Let’s work through it together.”
“I promise,” I say, leaning closer to him. “So…do you have any plans for New Year’s Eve?”
“I do now.” He takes my head in his hands and places a tender kiss on my lips just as the breeze kicks up, stinging my skin, followed by the piercing shriek of my mother.
“Fire!” she yells, and I whip around to find the luminaries that made up the letter N scattering like flaming tumbleweeds in the wind.
I gasp as Oliver pulls me out of the literal line of fire.
“Uh-oh,” Kayla says.
“This wasn’t supposed to happen!” Lucy’s shrill voice is shaky with panic as Joe and a couple of the other firefighters jump into action to extinguish the flying fireballs.
Willow presses her fingers into her temples. “I googled it. The sand was supposed to weigh it down and stop any potential fires.”
“We were supposed to put sand in there?” Aunt Rose cries.
“It’s like the cupcake incident all over again.” My mother’s shoulders are trembling from attempting to contain her laughter.
“Now, hold on a minute,” Aunt Rose says. “Why is this my fault? It was Ellie’s job to keep an eye on the weather.”
Ellie’s eyes are wide while Noah and Emily cling to her. “I did. The radar doesn’t show wind, and even if it does, I don’t know how to see it. I’m an interior designer, not a meteorologist.”
“Should I help them?” Ben asks, scratching the side of his head.
“Everyone stay where you are, please,” Joe barks. “Let us do our jobs.”
I slide my hands down my cheeks and turn my eyes up to Oliver. “You sure you know what you’re getting yourself into?”
“Not even a little bit,” he says with a chuckle as he pulls me into his arms. “But I wouldn’t have it any other way because I love you.”
My breath catches in my throat as I gaze up at him, memorizing every detail of this perfect moment. The way he smells, the icy chill of the rain on my cheeks, and the exhilarating feeling that’s taken root deep inside my chest.
I have a choice to make, and I want to make sure I get it right. I don’t wilt or shy away at his words, and I don’t hide, buried beneath the dirt. This time, I bloom.
“I love you too.”