Chapter MJ
MJ
One year later
“Get a load of that view, Myra Jean.” Ron puts his arm around me on the balcony of our Gatlinburg chalet, courtesy of the karaoke prize Oliver and I won at Mistletoe Fest last year. “Not a bad way to spend a holiday.”
“Not bad at all,” I say, kissing his cheek.
It’s late afternoon, and the sun is shining, but it’s just chilly enough to need a sweater.
Laughter floats outside by way of the open window. My children are finishing preparations for our Thanksgiving feast with the help of Oliver, Hudson, and Liz, while Rose keeps June Bug and the grandkids busy when they aren’t playing sous-chef.
I’d be lying if I said my hands haven’t been itching to jump in and take over—I’m only human, after all—but they insisted I spend the day relaxing.
Rose and I watched the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade together like we did as kids, while the scent of butter, cinnamon, and crisp apples made my mouth water.
I’m not even allowed to know what’s on the menu, but whatever’s drifting onto the deck smells divine.
The autumn leaves are putting on a show for us, twirling and dancing as they drop to the earth. How do they know they’ll be safe when they take the plunge? Or do they? Perhaps the destination isn’t important to them. Maybe it’s all about the fall.
“Sister,” Rose says, poking her head out the back door. “It’s time to eat.”
“After you.” Ron holds out one hand and places the other on my back.
“It smells good in here,” I say, making my way to the formal dining room with Ron on my heels. June Bug bounds up to me for a scratch before heading off in search of food.
The sight of the dining table takes my breath away and makes me laugh, all at the same time. There’s a golden-brown turkey at the center with a leafy green salad, dressing, mashed potatoes, green beans, cranberry sauce, creamed corn, turnip greens, roasted carrots with broccoli, and…pizza rolls.
“Noah and Emily made those especially for you, Mom,” Ben says when he catches my eyes on them.
Noah bounds to his seat. “Yeah, because remember when we had those for breakfast last Christmas!”
“That was fun!” Emily grins.
“No holiday meal is complete without pizza rolls,” I say as Ron pulls out a chair for me at the head of the table before sitting in the seat to my right.
Ellie chuckles. “You’re definitely going to regret saying that.”
“You’ve outdone yourselves, kids,” Rose says, taking her place at my other side. “Everything looks delicious.”
Once we’re all seated, everyone chatters happily as they begin serving their plates and passing the food.
“I’m starving,” Ellie says, patting her newly-showing baby belly.
“Here.” Ben places two scoops of potatoes on her plate. “One for you and one for baby.”
“Nobody slip June Bug any turkey. No matter how cute her puppy dog eyes are,” Ron says. “It gives her the toots.”
“MJ, you’ve got to try the dressing. Lucy made it.” Willow beams with pride.
“You did?” I ask her.
“I’m a wife now,” Lucy says, squeezing Willow’s shoulder. “Figured it was about time I learn to cook. Otherwise, I’m going to be stuck eating kale for the rest of my life. I’ll give you three guesses on who made the salad.”
“Wait till you try the cranberry sauce Liz made.” Lindsey passes the gorgeous dish to Rose. “It’s to die for.”
“And those brownies you made, Lindsey,” Liz says.
Lindsey smiles over at me. “It’s Mom’s recipe. She got it from a cookbook at some estate sale when we were kids.”
“Well, they’re amazing.” Hudson takes a sip of his wine. “I might have eaten one or three while we were cooking.”
Liz pokes him in the arm. “Five. You ate five.”
“Okay, brownie patrol,” Hudson teases.
“Think we can sneak some of those into the Titans game Sunday?” Oliver asks.
“Now, there’s an idea,” Willow says.
“If I can’t take food, I’m not going,” Rose garbles around a roll.
Lucy snorts. “I’m pretty sure they don’t allow food in your stadium-approved clear bag.”
“Who said anything about putting it in my bag?” Rose asks. “What do you think bras are for?”
Lucy taps her finger to her mouth. “Aunt Rose, you might be a genius.”
Rose arches her brow. “You’re just now figuring that out?”
Joy overflows from the table like an uncorked bottle of champagne, and my heart aches.
But it’s nothing like the ache I felt this time last year—lost and sad.
This is different. It’s like how I felt when I started taking Willow’s yoga class earlier this year.
At first, my muscles burned and cried out in pain, but after a while, they stretched until it felt good to lean into the movements.
Now, I can’t imagine my life without my weekly yoga.
Just as I can’t imagine my world without everyone in this room, though the possibility still lingers, lurking like a shadow in the dark.
After losing Henry, it’s impossible to turn it off completely.
But when those thoughts start creeping in, I remember what I have.
I remember what I’ve gained. And I love my people even harder.
Ron leans toward me and places his hand on mine. “You okay, Myra Jean?”
I nod and squeeze his fingers. Love may come at a cost, but it’s the only thing in the world that can take everything from you and somehow leave you richer and better than you were before it came along.
“I’m wonderful,” I say with a smile. “Just taking it all in.”
And I do, every chance I get.
“Merry Christmas, sweetheart,” I say, kissing my fingers and touching them to Henry’s headstone.
I’m wrapped in the blanket I keep in my car, and it’s shielding me from the cold grass I’m seated on.
Shimmering beams of gold and orange stretch toward the sky while steam floats above the tumbler containing my coffee.
It’s Christmas morning, and I slipped out of bed just before dawn, careful not to disturb Ron and June Bug as I dressed and bundled up so I could watch the sunrise with Henry.
I don’t know if I’ll come here every year, but for now, this feels good. I get to start and end my favorite holiday with the two loves of my life.
I’ve visited Henry a few times since last Christmas. I found that once I started living life again, I wanted to share it with him. We’ve had some long talks, Henry and I. Well, I suppose I’ve done a lot of talking and he’s done a lot of listening.
At first, it seemed strange to tell Henry about my life with Ron, but at the same time, I couldn’t imagine not telling him, so I did.
I came here when Ron moved in with me in the spring, and when Lucy and Willow got married in September, I brought him a peony from Lucy’s bouquet. And when Ben and Ellie found out at the end of the summer that they were expecting, I came then too.
“I thought I might find you here.”
Even though I know the voice like my own reflection, it still makes me startle.
“Lindsey,” I say. “What on earth are you doing here?”
“Looking for you,” she answers, tightening the scarf around her neck. “And I wanted to visit Dad.”
“Come sit,” I say, opening the blanket so she can nestle in beside me. “I didn’t think anyone heard me leave.”
“You’re not as sneaky as you think you are,” she teases. “Don’t worry. Nobody’s going to send out the search party because Oliver knows where we are.”
“What are you doing up so early?” I ask.
“I wanted to talk to you before the day got away from us.”
“Oh?”
“And actually, I was hoping to tell you and Dad at the same time. I want you to be the first to know.”
She hooks her arm through mine, and there’s something on her finger that wasn’t there before. A sparkling oval engagement ring.
“Oliver asked me to marry him,” she says. “And of course, I said yes.”
Tears spring to my eyes. “Sweetheart, this is wonderful. I’m so thrilled. When did he ask you?”
“Last night.” Her smile is radiant and warm.
“Congratulations, honey.” I press a kiss to her cheek.
“Why don’t you seem more surprised?” she asks with a laugh.
“Well, first of all, you two are crazy about each other,” I say. “But also because Oliver told me over Thanksgiving when he asked for my permission. Which, of course, he did not need, but it was sweet that he included me.”
“He’s great like that.”
I put my arm around her shoulders. “Are you happy?”
“I am.” She releases a contented sigh and leans her head against mine. “What about you? Are you happy?”
I lift my eyes to meet the sky, and when I do, I see the sun has risen once again.